Tony couldn’t seep. Sometimes he managed a few hours if he was tired enough, so usually he went to the gym and worked out until he was exhausted. Tonight, though, he found the gym already occupied: Barnes, with his hair tied up, working steadily at the heavy bag. Normally Tony would make an awkward comment and leave him to it, but instead he just heads for the opposite side of the gym. After setting up at one of the far treadmills, Tony worked his way to a easy run. Barnes was laying his fists rhythmically into the bag, and the quiet thumping was sort of strangely soothing. Between the running and the thumping, Tony slipped into a near-trancelike state.
And then Barnes let out an ungodly howl, drew back his left fist, and slammed it straight through the heavy bag with a roar of, “DIE A THOUSAND BURNING DEATHS!”
Tony fell off the treadmill, scrambled to his feet, and booked it to the elevator.
holy shit you guys there was a spider on my punching bag !!! thanks to my many years of combat experience & martial arts training things are okay now
i am sorry that i made a poetry out of every word you said and i am sorry that many a times i painted you as the villain of my stories when you probably were the hero. i am sorry that i told the world your secrets that you shared with me at 2.17am on the nights when it rained a little less and at 1.39am on the nights that were warmer than usual. i am sorry that i talked about you to complete strangers and that i knew more about you than you yourself did. i am sorry if someone ever comes up to you to ask about why you broke my heart, because you didn’t break my heart, i did that and put the blame on you. i am sorry if i made you stay up nights with me because no one could calm down the voices in my head like you did and no one worried about me like you did and so i told you my problems and sometimes made them yours. i am sorry that i talk to my friends about you and sometimes things get out of hand. i am sorry that i never told you how much i love you because i can’t bear to lose our friendship and i can’t bear rejection. i am sorry for all the times i cursed you at 3am because my stupid brain couldn’t stop thinking of you. i am sorry that i kind of used you to break my heart over and over again even after it was already broken just to feel the pain so that i could write about it all. i am sorry that i couldn’t let go of you when i should have, i am sorry that i am still holding on, i am sorry.