the building was on fire and it wasn't my fault

Dresden Files Books Rated By The Opening Line
  • Storm Front: "I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual. He didn't sound right. His footsteps fell more heavily, jauntily, and he whistled. A new guy. He whistled his way to my office door, then fell silent for a moment. Then he laughed."
  • Easily one of the weakest in the series. 3/10.
  • Fool Moon: "I never used to keep close track of the phases of the moon. So I didn't know that it was one night shy of being full when a young woman sat down across from me in McAnally's pub and asked me to tell her all about something that could get her killed."
  • Nicely ominous. Thanks to this book, I also keep track of the phases of the moon. Helped me catch a local werewombat. You have no idea how hard it is to put one of them down. 8/10.
  • Grave Peril: "There are reasons I hate to drive fast. For one, the Blue Beetle, the mismatched Volkswagen bug that I putter around in, rattles and groans dangerously at anything above sixty miles an hour. For another, I don't get along so well with technology. Anything manufactured after about World War II seems to be susceptible to abrupt malfunction when I get close to it. As a rule, when I drive, I drive very carefully and sensibly. // Tonight was an exception to the rule."
  • Not bad, per se, but not all that good. It takes too long to get to its point, which makes it not as good of a hook. 6/10.
  • Summer Knight: "It rained toads the day the White Council came to town."
  • This one makes me giggle. 8/10. Good job.
  • Death Masks: "Some things just aren't meant to go together. Things like oil and water. Orange juice and toothpaste. // Wizards and television."
  • Very relatable. I, too, am no fan of toothpaste in my orange juice. I used to put toothpaste in my orange juice all the time and had no clue why my orange juice tasted so bad. I mean, who knew? 9/10.
  • Blood Rites: "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
  • There is no need to explain perfection. 15/10.
  • Dead Beat: "On the whole, we're a murderous race. According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain's brother Abel probably never saw it coming. // As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding. // For freaking Cain."
  • One of the all time greats of this series. Lovely illustration of how Dresden feels and catches people up on his relationship with his brother really quick. 10/10.
  • Proven Guilty: "Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's grey cloak. I didn't know that until the day I watched Morgan, second in command of the White Council's Wardens, lift his sword over the kneeling form of a young man guilty of the practice of black magic. The boy, sixteen years old at the most, screamed and ranted in Korean underneath his black hood, his mouth spilling hatred and rage, convinced by his youth and power of his own immortality. He never knew it when the blade came down."
  • Dark. Really sets the tone for the book. Also, I'm, like, totally jealous. Blood stains are the worst. 8/10.
  • White Night: "Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are."
  • I know, right? It's, like, I thought this guy who came into work would be just a normal customer and get his stuff and leave, but, instead, he rants about conspiracy theories and shit when I can't tell him to fuck off. 9/10. Good job.
  • Small Favor: "Winter came early that year; it should have been a tip-off."
  • Not bad, but kinda weak. I mean, did he even consider that maybe winter came early because Global Warming is actually a hoax? I mean, it isn't, but couldn't he at least consider the possibility? 6/10.
  • Turn Coat: "The summer sun was busy broiling the asphalt from Chicago 's streets, the agony in my head had kept me horizontal for half a day, and some idiot was pounding on my apartment door. // I answered it and Morgan, half his face covered in blood, gasped, 'The Wardens are coming. Hide me. Please.'"
  • It's just, like, whaaaaaat? Why's Morgan here? How'd he get all bloody? And, like, he even snuck in some nice foreshadowing with the headache. Really well done. 8/10.
  • Changes: "I answered the phone, and Susan Rodriguez said, 'They've taken our daughter.'"
  • Nice and shocking, making you want to read more, but the last book did a similar shocking opening better. 5/10.
  • Ghost Story: "Life is hard. // Dying's easy."
  • Totally relatable. I, like many others, wish for death because life is too hard. Thanks for making me feel better, Harry. 8/10.
  • Cold Days: "Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has unique ideas regarding physical therapy."
  • One would imagine. I mean, did you hear her TED talk on it? Fascinating stuff. She's an innovator in the field. 7/10.
  • Skin Game: "There was a ticking time bomb inside my head and the one person I trusted to go in and get it out hadn't shown up or spoken to me for more than a year."
  • Don't you just hate it when you have a time bomb in your head? I know I do. But not all of us know bomb defusal experts. We're not all as lucky as you are, Dresden. I had to defuse my time bomb myself. Dick. 4/10.
Wizard + Crack + Red Bull = ? (I'm on painkillers right now)
  • <p> <b>Saruman:</b> *Tries to torture Gandalf using an IV of crack and Red Bull*<p/><b>Gandalf:</b> *Turns into Harry Dresden*<p/><b>Saruman:</b> WTF? *Gets ass kicked HARD*<p/><b>Dresden:</b> *Joins fellowship*<p/><b>Fellowship:</b> *Makes it through pass just fine because of Harry "the building was on fire and THIS TIME it wasn't my fault" Dresden*<p/><b>Fellowship:</b> *Goes to Rohan*<p/><b>Eowyn:</b> *Spontaneously turns into Karrin Murphy*<p/><b>Witch King:</b> *Senses oncoming doom, runs the fuck away*<p/><b>Fellowship+Murphy:</b> *Goes to Gondor, tells Denethor fuck off*<p/><b>Fellowship:</b> *Splits*<p/><b>Aragorn+Gimli+Legolas+Boromir+Murphy:</b> *Gets everyone to attack Mordor*<p/><b>Frodo+Sam+Merry+Pippin+Dresden:</b> *Sneak into Mordor*<p/><b>Dresden:</b> *Holds off orcs effortlessly, buying time*<p/><b>Frodo+Sam+Merry+Pippin:</b> *Run into Mount Doom*<p/><b>One Ring:</b> *Is destroyed*<p/><b>Sauron:</b> *Dies*<p/><b>Everyone:</b> *Lives happily ever after*<p/></p>
The Dresden Files in One Sentence
  • Storm Front: GODDAMMIT HARRY!
  • Fool Moon: GODDAMMIT KARRIN!
  • Grave Peril: Son of a BITCH!
  • Summer Knight: Well--FUCK!
  • Death Mask: God...dammit you two.
  • Blood Rites: The Building Was On Fire And It Wasn't My Fault.
  • Dead Beat: A Zombie T-Rex, how can he possible top that?
  • Proven Guilty: GODDAMMIT MOLLY!
  • White Night: GODDAMMIT LARA!
  • Small Favor: I swear to the Lord if Michael isn't alive in the next book!
  • Turn Coat: You just HAD to make me care about Morgan.
  • Changes: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!
  • Ghost Story: Oh no, that's fine I didn't need my heart this year.
  • Cold Days: GODDAMMIT MAB!
  • Skin Games: My, My this here Mortician Guy, maybe Jedi, sometime later but now he's just a small fry.
Dresden Files, First Glance
  • Storm Front: I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual. He didn't sound right. His foot steps fell more heavily, jauntily, and he whistled. A new guy. He whistled his way to my office door, then fell silent for a moment. Then he laughed.
  • Fool Moon: I never used to keep track of the phases of the moon. So I didn't know what it was one night shy of being full when a young woman sat down across from me in McAnally's pub and asked me to tell her all about something that could get her killed.
  • Grave Peril: There are reasons I hate to drive fast. For one, the Blue Beetle, the mismatched Volkwagen bug that I putter around in, rattles and groans dangerously at anything above sixty miles an hour. For another, I don't get along so well with technology. Anything manufactured after about World War II seems to be susceptible to abrupt malfunction when I get close to it. As a rule, when I drive, I drive very carefully and sensibly.
  • Summer Knight: It rained toads the day the White Council came to town.
  • Death Masks: Somethings things just aren't meant to go together. Things like oil and water. Orange juice and toothpaste.
  • Wizards and television.
  • Blood Rites: The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault.
  • Dead Beat: On the whole, we're a murderous race.
  • Proven Guilty: Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's grey cloak.
  • White Night: Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.
  • Small Favor: Winter came early this year; it should of been a tip-off.
  • Turn Coat: The summer sun was busy broiling the asphalt from Chicago's streets, the agony in my head had kept me horizontal for half a day, and some idiot was pounding on my apartment door.
  • Changes: I answered the phone, and Susan Rodriguez said, "They've taken our daughter."
  • I sat there for a long five count, swallowed, and said, "Um. What?"
  • Ghost Story: Life is hard.
  • Dying's easy.
  • So many things must align in order to create life. It has to happen in a place that supports life, something approximately as rare as hen's teeth, from the perspective of the universe. Parents, in whatever form, have to come together for it to begin. From conception to birth, any number of hazards can end a life. And that's to say nothing of all the attention and energy required to care for a new life unitl it is old enough to look after itself.
  • Cold Days: Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has unique ideas regarding physical therapy.
  • Skin Games: A good con doesn't just happen.
  • It's all about setup.
  • Let's rewind.
  • Peace Talks: My brother ruined a perfectly good run by saying, "Justine is pregnant."