the broadside

More American History - How the Hell Did We Manage to Found a Country?

- when Maria Reynolds divorced her husband, her attorney was Aaron Burr

- (Not technically American History but still adorable) when Lafayette returned to France in the middle of the war, Adrienne was so happy to see him she fainted

- Lafayette crying at the hanging of John Andrè

- Abigail Adams basically taking over the ship carrying her to Europe to clean in up and get everything in shape

- The Eggnog Riot of 1826

- When Lafayette negotiated a deal with the french for whale oil, the island of Nantucket all got together to make him a 500 pound wheel of cheese

- Thomas Jefferson trying to get a dead moose shipped to France to prove American animals were cooler

- Gouverneur Morris and the “whale bone in his dick” incident

- Oboes being called “haut-boys”

- George Washington riding in General Braddock’s campaign on a padded saddle because he had just recovered from disentary

- When Lafayette returned to America in 1824, a lady had gloves made with his face on them, and he said “a few graceful words words to the effect that he did not care to kiss himself”

- Deborah Franklin refusing to leave her house and arming herself with a gun when threatened by an angry mob

- Cornwallis missing out on capturing Jefferson as governor of Virginia by 10 minutes

- Joseph Warren showing up to a memorial of the Boston Massacre in a toga

- General Gage having to ask Hancock for help when he was occupying Boston after pissing him off earlier. Hancock refused

- Joseph Warren being a dramatic hoe 100% of the time

- Lafayette mcfucking dying at 4:20 am

- John Adams calling Edward Rutledge a peacock because he was young and southern and dressed very lavishly

- Henry Clinton calling himself “a shy bitch”

- Washington going down and jumping on the ice every morning during the siege of Boston to check the thickness for an invasion

- John Paul Jones being so passive aggressive that he responded to a failed broadside by a British ship with a single musket shot

- Silas Deane being such an inept ambassador that British spies knew what he was having for dinner before he did