the breeze at dawn

Words I associate the signs with:

Aries: powerful, manipulative, energetic, high spirited, optimistic, potent, conflagration, confidence, yelling, arguments, warmth, sun, fire, sparkles, hazel, force, sports, kickboxing, heart-eyes, exquisite, allusion, white lies, sexiness, dominance uprising, gobsmacked, beatinest, fights, sounder, lively, lighters, nicotine, ambiguous, judging, craving

Taurus: reliable, responsible, hard working, material, money, honest, loyal, practical, solidarity, stubborn, content, possessive, uncompromising, unconditional, complications, brown, green, changes, ground, jobs, gardening, cooking, stability, hands, high quality objects, value, easy-going, wholehearted, raw, purity

Gemini: ambivalent, thinker, two faced, overthinking, unlabeled, writers, cantankerous, words, poems, tongue, speaking, lips, curling, tea, mornings, dawn, breezes, spring, breathing, laughter, mysteries, puzzles, unraveling, ominous, paradox, yin yang, opposites, doublethink, pieces, two pieces of one whole

Cancer: moon, water, moonlight, sea, water, feelings, moodiness, dangerous, helpless, hopelessly, art, forgiving, assuming, tears, loneliness, emptiness, mental illness, feathers, birds, animals, home, family, children, society, psychological studies, stars, astrology, poems, artists, watercolor, pastel colors, insecurity, apothecary, apologizing

Leo: self esteem, confidence, labels, blazing, lion, roaring, light, names, assumptions, chide, conflict, coruscant, flowers, amaranthine, dimes, diamonds, mining, flashing, paramour, lover, affair, honesty, positivity, generosity, creativity, humor, jokes, cheerful, arrogance, inflexibility, stubborn

Virgo: analyzing, suppressing, shyness, kindness, loyalist, hardworking, practical, overly critical, insecure, judging, books, cleaning, studies, school, numbers, sotto voce, languages, wonders, holding on, stable, furniture, shops, medical, doctors, nurses, down-to-earth, feasible, doable, handy, functionality, finances

Libra: harmonious, music, instruments, pens, poetry, writing, extrovert, popular, cooperative, problem solving, diplomatic, gracious, delicate, social, fair-minded, justice, gentleness, talking with others, outlets, outdoors, nature, hugs, warmth, solace, family, kindness

Scorpio: death, ominous, paradox, mystery, inevitability, serene, seriousness, darkness, craters, abyss, heartache, breakups, ferociousness, deflorating, roses, wilting, sex, divagating, pelvis, lovers, one night stands, dominance, kinks, puzzles, complex, rawness, honesty, loyalty, incredulous, decreasing, schadenfreude, serendipity, imperfections, sibylline, staring

Sagittarius: traveling, world maps, cities, villages, culture, rounded figures, running, sports, mountains, lightheaded, breezy, go with the flow, airplanes, leaving, disappearing, walking, wandering, stubbornness, adventure, games, young love, long distance relationships, distance, lights, fireflies, discoveries, camping, firewood

Capricorn: practical, hardworking, finances, jobs, money, self control, managing, forceful, unforgiving, know-it-all, knowledge, smartness, discipline, discussions, reliable, expecting the worst, tradition, family, status, different, underrated, underdog, quality, craftsmanship, time

Aquarius: independence, friendship, temperamental, in the moment, running, disappearance, progressive, original, different, humanitarian, helpful, aloof, frightful, emotionless, numb, running from emotions, self control, determination, apitude, funny, self discovery

Pisces: drugs, wondering, wishing, hoping, imagination, shyness, darkness, abysses, mental illnesses, incomparable, incapable, insecurity, psychologically, dreams, hallucinations, allegory, bruises, bonding, pellucid, helpless, colorful, helplessness, craving, anxiety, anxious, nervousness, feeling too much, sadness, good friendship, manipulative

For today, I think we need gentle, rambling pointlessness. We need reminding of the good things in little moments. Be kind.

what first comes to my mind when i think about the mbti types

INFJ - stars. satin. your favourite playlist repeating over and over. obsession.
INFP - wings. the sound of a piano. glass reflecting light. 11:11. long scarves
INTJ - perfect structures. rain. skyscrapers. crystals. sarcastic jokes.
INTP - blank notebooks. park benches. dusk. smell of newly-cut grass.
ENFJ - cocktail dresses, new messages, late night talk, smirks
ENFP - clear lake, daisys, glitter, giggle, summer breeze
ENTJ - smokings, dawn, maxiskirts, miniature chess boards on a trip
ENTP - shorts, infinity, fire, passionate kisses
ISFJ - fast sketches of nature, waterfalls, catching your breath after a run
ISFP - little poems, art gallerys, gentle touch, cats
ISTJ - museums, handwritten postcards, rings, finally understanding something
ISTP - 3D, graffiti, black holes, lavender, the atlantic sea
ESFJ - fresh scents, holy festival, sun flowers, crowds, first kisses
ESFP - road trips, bubblegum, LED signs, soft drinks
ESTJ - red docmartens, familiy heirlooms, bright smiles
ESTP - new sneakers, smoke, lightning, running through the peaceful forest

2

Childhood

“Look, Reiner, one more thing. When you fire, you need to breathe. Try this… take a big breath in and out.”

Reiner, frowning, opened his mouth and inhaled, then exhaled loudly.

He can hear Bertolt’s smile, “Ok, that’s good, but let’s do it softer, and focus on taking that breath in, and then breathing it out nice and slow. And when you’re done breathing out…. that’s when you shoot.”

“Huh, I never thought of that,” Reiner mumbled.

“Let’s go, big breath in…”

He inhaled through his nose. He could smell the loamy earth they’re laying on, the wet grass, the fresh breeze coming in with the dawn. The tin cans are more visible, their dark outlines stark and defiant against the sky, significantly brighter now than when they started. Light yellow and pink streak across above their heads. He can feel a cold drop of sweat run down his chest under his shirt. And again, Bertolt’s hand rested on his back between the shoulder blades, warm and strong. Right now, he felt grounded, alive. Somehow, Reiner knew he would never forget this moment.

“…and out.”

He exhaled, lined up his sights. The hard wood of the rifle pressed against his cheek, the butt in the crook of his shoulder. Finger ready on the trigger, the metal grip of it cool and rough against his index. At the end of his breath, he held, and with gentle pressure squeezed-

Excerpt from a fic I wrote after chapter 94: Breathe First

No Regrets

Summary: Y/N and Bucky take matters into your own hands when it comes to executing your perfect wedding. 

Characters/Relationships: Bucky x reader; appearances & mentions of other Avengers team members.

Warnings: Fluff

A/N: This is my entry for @curvybihufflepuff‘s 1K Celebration Writing Challenge

My prompt was: “Stop trying to stop me from executing my vision!” “Your vision is expensive.”  

Masterlist

Originally posted by nerdyfandomimagines

Keep reading

A Little Life | Tom Holland

Summary: A compilation of cute little moments where the entire family visits and meets the second baby…

Warning: major cuteness, infant health complications

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Type: Baby Holland Series

MASTERLIST


The morning brought strings of white stratus to contrast against the blue sky. The blurry grey clouds drifted lazily through the breeze without destination or purpose. The dawn sun peeked through the thick screen of clouds, painting the sky an elaborate mix of blood reds and vibrant oranges, intertwined with smokey greys that permeated the skyward canvas. It was Sunday morning.

Keep reading

Ballad of Campus Accomodation Shaw

(A short piece, inspired by Elsewhere University, based on the Ballad of Minepit Shaw)

The bellow of a brass hunting horn broke the chilly night air, echoed by the baying of hounds as Suzie and Kath sprinted across the building site waste ground in front of Pelham house. Suzie held her high heels in one hand, and a bottle of vodka which was not hers in the other, while Kath had dropped her shoes a few metres back, and clutched two bottles of what she had assumed were fancy coloured spirits. They shifted in their bottles against rhythm of Kath’s run.

“Fucking Pelham house!” Kath panted. “Party flats my arse!”

“Of course he’s a fucking Gent!” Suzie groaned in exasperation. “Of course he is!

Neither of them risked a look behind them, but they both swore they heard thundering hooves and slobbering hounds. In their panic, they had made a bee-line for the muddy expanse where builders were already sinking the piles for the new Shaw House accomodation. Kath spotted a large bulldozer and grabbed Suzie’s shoulder, pulling her towards it. They ducked under it’s backhoe and pressed themselves against the shadows behind it.

They stood there holding their breath, hearing pad of paws against soft earth drawing closer. Suzie muttered and mumbled what sounded like prayers, fiddling in her purse for a packet of salt, or a bolt, or some little iron trinket. Kath leaned towards the edge of the bulldozer, about to risk a glance around, when a hand clamped on to her shoulder.

She was too startled to scream, but Suzie wasn’t, letting out a short, sharp squeak of terror. A man stood before them, dressed exactly like a campus security guard, except for the fact that every inch of clothing on his body was green. He wore a green cap, green shirt, green slacks, green boots, forest green hi-vis, even his maglite cast a pale green light over the two girls.

“Goodness, you’re in a mess aren’t you?” he said, almost off-hand, as though commenting on the weather.

Suzie looked fit to scream again, but Kath spoke first.

“Please, you have to help us. There’s a guy out there hunting us!” she said, her voice almost cracking with fear, both real and exaggerated.

“Sounds like Lord Pelham,” the green guard said with a little grimace. “A powerful lad and no mistake. Getting suspended would be the least of your troubles. You must’ve done something pretty bad to rile him like this.”

Kath frowned, shifting the bottles awkwardly in her hands.

“Well, okay. We did something pretty stupid. But please, we’ll do anything.”

Suzie shot Kath an appalled look, and Kath sighed.

“Alright, I’ll do anything.”

The green guard smiled without showing his teeth.

“Lucky for you I’m no friend of Lord Pelham. Although, it would certainly be nice to have some kind of recompense for my magnanimity….”

Suzie (a Biomed student) frowned, but Kath did Literature. She laid her bottles on the ground, and nodded for Suzie to do the same.

“Well, I’d say that’s an ample gift. Step this way.”

Kath and Suzie stepped forward, and plunged into absolute darkness. Kath felt her hip bump into something hard, like a metal table edge.

“Ugh!” Suzie said, somewhere nearby. “What’s this?”

“Just my little home. You’ll pardon me keeping it dark, but power bills are atrocious for my thousand crystal chandeliers,” came the voice of the green guard.

Suzie felt along the table edge and hopped up on to it, sitting on the edge.

“Not much in the way of furniture,” she said, shifting uncomfortably.

“I apologise,” came the guard’s voice. “I’ll admit that solid gold furniture inlaid with precious stones tends to be a little hard on the backside. I’ve only arrived recently, and haven’t had time to unload my thousand silk cushions.”

Suzie and Kath were silent for a moment. Kath ran her hand over the tabletop, feeling little lumps and bumps across its surface.

“It can’t really be gold, can it?” came Suzie’s voice.

“Even if it isn’t,” said the guard, “you’re a long way away from Lord Pelham, aren’t you?”

Kath didn’t respond. She supposed she owed him that much. She lay down on the table and closed her eyes, for all the difference it made in the dark.

When light came, it was harsh and hard. A bright autumnal morning dawned across the campus, bringing a cold breeze that blew across Kath’s sleeveless arms. She leaned up and looked around, and saw where she was. Then she let out a laugh.

She and Suzie had tumbled in the night and fallen into one of the pilings for Shaw House. She’d spent the night lying at the bottom of a muddy hole on a half-buried I-beam, and she could already feel the bruises where its rivets had dug into her. Suzie roused herself beside her, mumbling darkly about a headache.

At the top of the piling pit, a human head in a hard hat shouted down to them.

“Oh thank God!” it said. “I thought you were dead!”

“No!” Kath shouted up, smiling. “Although my friend may wish she was.”

* * *

It wasn’t until later that Kath got back to her room. On her desk was a note dotted with rhinestones and written in glittery green gel-pen.

It simply read, “Whether he was a security guard or a Gentleman, remember: ‘there’s more things told than are true, and more things true than are told’.”

At the bottom it had been signed by a ‘Lord Shaw’, in long looping handwriting.

(J)

Notice Me!

“Only look at me, Princess.”

Genre: Teen stuff, romance, fluff

Pairing: Teacher!Jungkook x reader, BadBoy!Yoongi x reader

Song rec:  Blush (티가 나) by Sanchez

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 

“You’ve been grading those papers for two hours now.”

Jungkook grunted, scribbling onto the paper. The red pen wriggled in between his fingers as he squinted at the answers on the paper. After finally marking the final test in his class, Jungkook let out a sigh. Dropping the pen onto the table, it rolled loudly as he pressed his back against the wooden chair. He winced as his muscles stiffened. He was tired. Glancing at his phone, he turned it on with the push of a button:

12:45am

He sighed once more, running a hand down his face. He craned his head over his shoulder to Yugyeom. His friend was sprawled across his sofa underneath an abundance of pillows. He frowned, ruffling the back of his head, “Stop working for once and come chill with me.”

Keep reading

2

The Courts & High Lords of Prythian ~ The Dawn Court // Thesan

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell”

BTS as Times of Day
  • Seokjin: dawn, rosy and clear, a slight breeze and everything is being bathed in soft morning light.
  • Yoongi: dusk, after the sun sets and the cool of night is setting in, but before the stars come out, when the sky is still transitioning through the blues.
  • Hoseok: midday, when the sun in exactly overhead, giving everyone a halo, when the sky is the brightest blue.
  • Namjoon: afternoon, as the sun is drifting through the sky, the air is beginning to change and the scent of evening is on the wind.
  • Jimin: morning, when the sun has risen but hasn't completely taken over the sky, the blue is soft and sweet and the air is still fresh like the dew on the grass.
  • Taehyung: sunset, colorful and vibrant, predictable and different every day, all the shades from azure to vermilion painting the sky beautiful.
  • Jungkook: midnight, when all the stars makes the blue look black and space seems far away and near at the same time. The moon hums a song and the wind shakes the trees.
Sweet Words.

-Bobby x Reader

-Wedding had always been an emotional feat for the bride and groom but strangely enough, it also brought out something in Bobby that he can no longer contain.

- Thank you so much for sending in your request. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get this out. School and work are crazy as always. I’m slowly working down my request list. Thank you for being patient. I know you were probably just expecting straight fluff but it was too short when I wrote it out. I changed it up a bit and I hope you don’t mind, just to give it a bit of extra tidbits. I felt like if i waited this long to finish it, it deserves a bit more than a 300 words drabble.



Originally posted by mvssmedia


As the shuffles of feet and settling of bodies simmered down, the string quartet heavenly strums of Canon in D faded out signaling the start of the beautiful ceremony. It was honestly the most perfect day for the start of something new. Brick red roof of the rotunda gleams under the sun’s playful rays, standing proud and tall donning streams of fluttering blush chiffon draping. A great ombre of pastel pink and white peonies weaved themselves along the pillars, competing with the red rose bushes below meandering the edges of the great field of plush green grass. Guests of all ages adorned their best outfits edging at their seats waiting to witness the wondrous moment while the groom stood still, trying his best to mask the rising gush of butterflies in his stomach.

The bride had descended down the aisle barely a heartbeat ago, arm nervously enclosed around her father’s. Her face lit up as it seemed she could only focus on one spot despite the breathtaking sight of thousands flowers quivering slightly in the breeze of the dawn of summer, bursting with life atop the pedestals lining the aisle. She sighed a breath of relief as her father passing on the honor of holding her hand through life to the nerve wrecked groom. He barely had time to dry the joyous tear shed watching his beautiful bride floated across the petals paved walkway in her beautiful white dress like the most ethereal swan. A few encouraging whispers from the bride’s father had him near sobbing again as he bowed his head in utter joy that someone had trusted him enough to give him the blessing of a lifetime.

You couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the soft ebbs and flows of the intricate white French lace weaving itself along the sheer chiffon glistening under the sun. A touch of glittering stones and beadings elegantly brought the perfect amount of glamour for the finishing touches. The way the dress hangs so perfectly, accentuating the bride’s figure in the most perfect way leaves you gaping in awe. No wonder the groom had shed tears witnessing his to be wife. “You okay, baby?” The dashing gentleman in a crisp black suit and matching bowtie sitting just beside you whispered as the couple began to face the officiate.

“Yea, just admiring the scene.” You muttered, eyes glued to the beginning of infinity for your lucky friends. 

Jiwon sat back in his chair, facing forward once more as his worries simmered down. You almost feared facing him as you felt the sinking of your heart, something heavy, so heavy you weren’t sure if you could get out of this chair once the ceremony was over. For now, you chose to focus on the happy couple. 

The officiate had finished telling their love story, from the moment the bride “accidentally” ran over her groom’s foot with her bicycle, to their fights, to the moment they solidified their love with the ring but more importantly the undying love they have for each other. You smiled yet already, you could felt the creaks of your heart, twisting and fighting itself with your own love story that perhaps won’t be as undying. You bit your lips in an attempt to control your emotion as you let your gaze fell onto your laps, feeling a few tears breaching your eyes as the officiate announce that the vows will now be exchange. Your hands clutching each other tightly, knuckles white from the sheer force you were exerting to restraint yourself from running out of there. Those sweet, sweet words… You haven’t been so lucky to be on the receiving ends of those in a good while now and it hurt. 

As everyone silenced to prepare for the beginning of the graceful bride’s vow, you continued your own battle, planting your feet firmer into the grass as if your sinking heels would stop you from running.

“Not in a million years would I have thought this moment would come…” The sweet voice rang out from the large speaker. “I was never one of those that believe in love at first sight or any of that romantic crap. I’m a realistic girl, you know.” The bride glanced at the audience for support, earning a few nods from friends and family. “Then, I met this guy right here my junior year of high school. Mind you, I just got out of a horrible relationship. Men were the enemy. Yet, somehow… Somehow, this guy right here was like a magnet to my cold metal heart.” Her voice wavered as the seconds tick on and so would yours if you had to speak up then. “In fact, his magnetic pull was so strong, my bicycle got sucked his way and well as my good friend slash officiate here said, I may or may not have ran over his foot on ‘accident’.” The laughters and cheers erupted from the audience were thunderous. A few shouts of “That’s my girl”, and “I knew it” bursted out having the groom in grin. A few tear had dampen the soft fabric of your dress and there was nothing you could do to stop it. It was so strange to think that you had met the wonderful man sitting next to you over six years ago. 

You barely survived high school and was thrusted into the strange world of being a semi adult in university. Your 2nd year came and gone as you sat on the floor of the waiting area by your gate, awaiting the boarding of your flight. Back against the cool glass of the giant window wall outlooking the bustling runway, your eyes fluttered close as the exciting beat of Anthem lulled your weary mind to rest. You were there, right there on the brink of sleep when a sharp pain had you cussing. A profuse string of apologies greeted your sharpening sight still drowsy from tiredness. You hadn’t realized at first, the handsome man in front of you. No, you were much too focus on the fact that he had ran your foot over with his own gigantic one while messing around with his friends.

“Son of a-…You…” was all you managed to get out before a loud gasp as the sudden realization of your eyes and brain connecting the face in front of you with the raspy voice spewing out from your headphone hit you like a freight train. 

“I… am very sorry? Wh-Why are you gaping at me like that?” He quipped rather bemused at your sudden rage dying out, kneeling with one hand on your foot, the other twisting your ankle back and forth. 

“Why is iKon’s Bobby touching my feet?” You blurted out rather nonchalantly despite your blushing cheeks and shocked eyes. He giggled at your strange comment and it was the best thing you’ve heard in weeks. 

“Why not? I literally stepped on your ankle. I should be held responsible, don’t you think? Can you stand?” His voice was laced with more worries than your dumb ex could even think of. On top of it all, that look of his face, he was so genuine about it.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ve done worse to myself… Clumsy, ya know.” You hopped up to show him just how fine you were. He chuckled a bit before waving bye, heading to the rest of the boys sitting just a few rows away from where you were. 

That night you ended up spending your sleep on the cold ground as the announcement of bad weather affecting the flight rattled through the waiting area. The groans of passenger along with apologies from the crew had you sinking with disappointment. Your summer vacation was now cut short. Then, as if God had taken a pity over your pathetic self, that addictive voice rang out once again.

“Looks like we’re stuck here for awhile…” He plopped down right next to you as if you had been BFF since 4th grade. “… You gotta stop staring at me like that.”

“Sorry…” Flustered, you tear your eyes away from his mesmerizing handsome features, fidgeting with the playlist on your phone as if it was something important.

“Oh! you’re listening to music, you were doing that earlier too. Lemme see what you’re into.” Just like that, his hand wrapped around yours pulling your phone closer to his line of sight. He chuckles impressively at a few as his slender index swipe away at the list. Muttering to himself, he only stared back up to comments on his likes and dislikes. “I’m so honored. You have Hanbin and I in the same list as Tupac, N.W.A, and all the legends.” Suddenly his eyes dipped into the cheerful crescent as he laugh heartily. “You’re doing it again.”

“What?” You shook your head in confusion.

“The staring. You gotta stop staring. I’m just a guy, not a unicorn or something.”

“What am I suppose to do. You like drop out of nowhere, step on my foot, took my phone, and make it seems like we’re best friend.” You listed and he chuckled, amused with your flustered self. “Plus, i’veneverseenacelebrityupclosebefore…letalonehimholdingmyhand…” You muttered at the speed of light as your voice slowly dimmed out to nothingness. Surely if you weren’t blushing before, you were now. All he managed to conjure up with a big laugh, clearly not relenting you any space to dig a whole and crawl down in embarrassment.

 “You speak fast enough to be feature in my next song, it’s kinda impressive…”

“Yah… stop teasing me.” Your hand  retreated from his as you use the free one to caress the spot he had been holding onto, chuckling in disbelief inwardly at the strange luck you’ve stumbled upon.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just you look cute when you get all blush-y. Hi! I’m Jiwon. Nice to meet you. Your name is?” His voice took on a cheery tone that could clear up the rain outside if he really wanted to.

“Y/n… Nice to meet you, Jiwon.”

“Y/n…” He repeated the word associated with you since even before you took your breather in this world, letting it roll around on your tongue with a soft smile. “Wanna join me and the boys? Beats sitting around on the ground by yourself.” He reached out his hand, eyes flickering toward the noisy crowd waving at you both.

“I’d love that. Thank you!”

“Not only did he not get mad but he, this freaking guy right here made sure I was alright. From that moment on I was smitten. So so so smitten in fact I promise the second we exchanged those ring, from there on out, I will admit defeat and let you hold the title of funniest person in the relationship. I promise not you make fun of you when your favorite basketball team loses… which is a lot, I won’t say what team it is. However, when the blue moon rise and they do win, I will share with you a celebratory drink.” You were in full tear now and so was she… “I promise we will grow old together, make mistakes together, and learn together.” Her voice cracked and you let out a small whimper thinking about the inevitable breakup that will forever inhibit your dream of growing old with Jiwon. 

“My love for you never needed this grand event here to be official, it always had been but I thank you for indulging me in this day I dreamt of since I was a kid. I will love you now and always.” 

She was speaking words that resonated with your own heart. You knew long before Jiwon had popped the girlfriend question that you loved him. How could you not fall in love with this lovely man. The crazy energetic rapper on stage that had girls melting for him yet with you, he was just a cutie that would move oceans for you. He gave you everything he had and everything you didn’t even ask for. You let out a sob that was lost upon the thunderous applauds of family and friends. Lost upon all but one. Unbeknown to you, Jiwon had been watching your reaction for awhile now. He knew things were less than okay between the both of you and this joyous start of his best friends could be the bitter end of his. 

Neither of you had been the same as you once were sitting on the floor at the airport that night, gushing over your interests and disinterests. Perhaps the relationship had ran it course, perhaps your love had ran out… Or perhaps you were both too exhausted to fight the inevitable. He knew the crack in the ice had been widening for awhile now but like a fool, wishful thinking and packed schedule had him pushing you off to the back burner. He knew the constant touring, the endless concerts, the never ending passion for music was unfair for you but you never once said anything. In fact, you never say anything anymore. It scared him shitless that you’re slipping out of his grip and there was nothing he could do about it. 

He felt so helpless sitting there watching you shed tears over him. You both had thought long and hard about coming to this wedding as a couple. After all, you hadn’t seen him in a week and he wasn’t sure what this encounter would do. Panic stricken the handsome face and he had to do something, anything to let him know you were still with him. So he reached out, for the first time in weeks, he reached out to you like he used to. It startled you out of your sadden day dream when the warmth from his hand began seeping into your cold dampen hands. Your head whipped up to find him already beaming at you with that smile that could comfort the devil himself. You smile, for the first time in weeks, you smiled like you used to. He found himself grinning like an idiot now, pulling your head to rest on his shoulder, hand rubbing gently on your arm. You were still crying but now, now you had your supporter to sooth your pain away. The rest of the ceremony was a blur. You couldn’t focus on anything but the way he’s holding you so close and neither could he, not when your hand so stealthily sneaked around his stomach and rested on his waist so intimately. 

Soon enough the day was coming to a close, drawing the party out of everyone. Slightly tipsy, the guests happily flooded the grand ballroom decked to the nines with blush and gold themed. The golden chair lined the glittery pastel pink table cloth donning the best centerpieces that reflected the flowers of the ceremony. The night went on as everyone dined away, chatting with one another about things you sure none of them would remember the next day while nursing a hangover. You stayed close to Jiwon wherever he went, although the positive twist in the knife of fate hadn’t gone much further. You were both still quiet and distant despite the hands intertwining tightly. He had given you his portion of roasted veggies and you had given him your portion of fish as always. He gotten you your favorite wine while you made sure to save him a few donuts from the dessert bar. Just like that, the night went on without a hitch but you couldn’t discern if that was good or bad. 

Mindlessly, you spent the rest of the night dancing away with your friends and he with his. Even with the group of sweaty, drunken, swaying bodies blocking each other away, your eyes were on his and his was on yours. Neither of you could really kept your eyes off of each other, wishing it was the other’s body against your own but nerve and fear like a glass wall keeping you apart. Your 3rd glass of wine had beginning to creep on you now as your head spin slightly. Parting way with your friends, you settled on your seat as you watch Jiwon skillfully moved along with the beats. As expected of your idol boyfriend, he managed to captivate the whole room with the simplest moves. 

“Since tonight we gathered to celebrate the love and new beginning of the loveliest couple here this evening, I’d like to dedicate this next songs to all the other beautiful couples in the room. No matter if you’ve been together 1 day or 40 years, this next two song are for you so get on out here and share a moment of love.” 

The MC put a temporary halt on the festivity as you watch the sweaty body shuffled off the dance floor. One by one, couples sauntered hands in hands toward the pristine white floor embossed with the bride and groom’s name. They slowly swayed as the DJ ever so delicately let the toon of John McLaughlin’s So Close  permeated the atmosphere full of love and joy. You couldn’t help but cracked a smile at the bride’s grandparents, still so in love after nearly 60 years of welcoming dawn and bidding goodbye to dusk together. How lucky must one be to find that one person to love and to hold, to share every moments together and still they look at you with such adoration as if it’s the first day. Once again you shed tears without even knowing that your own love was watching, heart aching as he approached you with an outstretch arm.

“Can I have this next dance, miss?” He spoke so gently, so lovingly that your lips curved up and hand in his without needing your brain to tell them to. A slight sheen of sweet glistened on his forehead from the fun that had his heart beating fast for the past 10 minutes. Although now, now he was sure it wasn’t the hard dancing that had his heart racing at thousand miles a second. It was you. You were just sitting there, lovely as ever with those eyes that always seemed to only see him. No matter where you were, at iKon’s biggest concert, the busy street of a Friday date night, the airport. The place didn’t matter, the time didn’t matter. All it mattered was that the second he laid eyes on you, it seemed as though you were already, had been looking at him for quite some time. 

He pulled you close to his chest, a hand resting on the small of your back, the other wiping the few tear streaking down your cheeks. He pressed a big kiss to your forehead before resting his own on yours. Although your hands on his hips, it rested rather loosely, not at all what he wanted. He knew your mind was chasing itself to exhaustion with the decisions of what will become of the two of you once the clock struck midnight and this wonderful occasion end. When his beautiful suit shaded like midnight sky and your amazing soft blue chiffon dusting with blush pink blossoms bursting with spring gown were shed, you both knew a decision had to be made.

“We should really talk about this, you know. Dragging out the inevitable just going to hurt us more…” You heard him speak but you couldn’t really registered the fact that you were laying in the same bed that absorbed so much love all these years talking about a breakup.

“Yea… Can we talk about it after the wedding? We already RSVP. It’d be rude to just not show up or whatever seeing how close we are to them.” You whispered in a broken tone, heart feeling the stab of each word.

“Uhm… I’ll see you then. We’re going over lyrics this week so I won’t be home much.”

“Okay.”

Words that Jiwon of the beginning of the relationship never thought he’d hear was ringing out in the mind of present time Jiwon. He didn’t know about you but he had already decided. He decided the second he saw you that morning with your hair messy and awkwardly crimped from the strange position you slept in. Your bare face glowed so magnificently as you dashed back and forth looking for the pair of heels he had gotten you not too long ago. You were looking mighty cute in your Pooh printed PJ shorts and his giant black t-shirt whipping up breakfast knowing he hadn’t eat a scrap of food since lunch the day before. 

“Baby, you know I love you right?” He whispered so gingerly against the shell of your ear, hot breath tickling your skin with the most delightful sensation.

“I know… I love you too… So much.” You didn’t know why you felt the need to speak in such a depressing tone. Actually, you do know why. Whatever it is that was to come next couldn’t be good judging from the way he started this conversation. You could practically felt his heart pumping gallons of blood in seconds from the thumping of his chest.

“There are so many things I want to tell you. I-I’ve never felt so strongly about something as I do now. I wanted to say all this to you when we were at the ceremony but I decided it was best not to disturb the beautiful moment.” He chuckled slightly and you couldn’t help but let the confusion rising fast in your chest. “I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the heartfelt vows this morning but when I listened to those words being exchange, all I wanted to do was to pull you into my chest and kiss you till morning comes. I know, crappy cheesy right? You could cringe if you want to, I know I sound so gross right now.”

He laughed lightly again but you were serious. His smile dropped the second he met your doe eyes, lip under your teeth as if deciding on the biggest decision in human history. 

“Uhm, so… Now that I have you in my arms, I feel like I have the whole world under my control, everything is at peace.” He started out so nervously, voice cracking, breath erratic but with the flutters of his closing eyes, it was like a sudden sense of tranquil washed over him as his voice grew stable.  “I was in such a storm, baby. I didn’t know where was up and what was down but then when I walked into the apartment this morning. You were just dancing in the living room with the dog and I felt the weight of the universe lifted off my shoulders. How could something so simple captivated me in ways that even the most glamorous expensive things in the world can’t. The world just goes silent the second I’m with you.” He leaned in closer, resting his cheeks on your temple as his hand woven itself into your neatly curled locks. His free arm locked itself around your shoulder pressing you tight to his chest. You let yourself relished in the way he felt so warm against your bare skin, how he smelled like that expensive cologne you helped him picked out while vacationing in London. Yet at the same time something so him fought its way to the top, playing with your nose that was now beginning to pick up the sickening sweet scent of alcohol. 

“I love you so much and It scares me. What if one day you wake up and realize what a shitty boyfriend I am. What if one day someone better comes by and scoop you up in his arms. What if I lose you, what would I do? I was always a hopeless romance but as life get rough, love lost, I’ve long abandoned that hope of finding that permanent someone. Even after we’ve met, I was still doubting if happily ever after is really a thing. Then day by day you showed me that it’s possible if you just work for it.” 

His hand moved away from caressing your back to gingerly lifting your chin up to face him. He held that mysterious grin, that expression that had never quite been abled to decipher despite the 4 years of loving him. You barely managed to catch your breath when his lips unexpectedly found themselves on yours, caring for them so tenderly with the way he moved and how he seemed to fit you so perfectly. Suddenly the world dimmed out to black and white and you two were the only one bursting with colors. The other couples ceased to exist as yours and his soul were the only one flickering with each other on that dance floor and the music played for only you two. He broke away after a short while with a loving smile gracing your elated self.  

“You took my heart and so delicately brought it back to life with every kind words, every affectionate gesture. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see for so long that my happy end was just waiting here with you. We’re close, so close baby to making even if we got a long road to travel. I was so afraid to love again and you made it so painless to fall in love with you. I know what we have isn’t pretending or a trial. What we have is real and all I could think of is how far we’ve come. If you’re willing, I’d love for us to continue this crazy adventure of ours, to continue dreaming of a future that perhaps one day I’d have to honor of waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Would you like that, baby girl? Would you let me love you till the end of time?”

You were glad the music was now at its high point as it masked the ugly sound of you choking on your own tears. You tighten your slacken arms and Jiwon just grinned in satisfaction. Oh how he loved the way you held him. You always knew how to hold him. The soft embrace paired with gentle passing of your hand on his back after a bad event. The quiet encouraging words that came with the big hug that made him felt so small after a long stressful day where the whole world appeared to be against him. The way your arm sneaked up on his tone abs in the back hug of sleepy morning as you pressed kisses onto his back with a raspy “good morning, handsome.” You somehow managed to always curled up so neatly on top of his lap as you cling onto his body when he vented about his long hours of practice, finger gently massaging through his hair to help him relax. 

Right now, he was basking the way you were squeezing him with all your might, arms like a boa constricting across his torso. The way you couldn’t decide on where to rest your hands as you move them from the small of his back to his broad shoulder then resorting to just gently gliding them up and down his back. It was like you were making sure he know just how desperate you were to hold him and that was exactly what he needed. It’s honestly still amazed him after all these year the way you just seemingly catered to his needs even without him saying much or at all. He had poured his heart out to you, leaving himself completely vulnerable to rejection and to bitter words but you replied the best way you could with your loving gaze and tight embrace.

“You don’t have to say anything right now, baby. Take your time… Think about it. I know I haven’t been good to you in awhi-”

“No, I need to.” You suddenly blurted out with all the determination in the world. “I-I would love for nothing more than to be your girl for the rest of my life. I was so fearful that you were leaving me… We’ve grew so far away and I just want to know I can hold you, kiss you any time and anywhere.”

He was smiling so brightly, so much brighter than the strobe light above dancing along to the beat of the 2nd couple song of the night. Those eyes of his crinkled into those loving crescents and lips grinning wide from cheek to cheek. He pulled you into an ebullient sway along with the vibrant beat of Nat King Cole L.O.V.E. You let out a hearty laugh as you dipped you low into a big kiss, big cheers and applauds erupted all and your and your cheeks burst into a shade rivaled with the fuchsia petals nearby.  You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You could feel the envy emanating from the single gals surrounding the dance floor, waiting for couples paradise to be over with so they could get down and perhaps find a temporary mates. Although you knew if they had the chance, any one of them would nab up Jiwon so fast you wouldn’t even know what happened and never let him go. 

“The staring. You gotta stop staring. I’m just a guy, not a unicorn or something.”

His velvety voice shook you out of your reverie, realizing somehow you had managed to walk off the dance floor. The beat had returned to the bass filled one that had everyone’s adrenaline kicking.

“Wha- How? Wait…”

“You’re so cute, baby. After all this time, you still blush in front of me like you did that first night.”

“I can’t help it. I’m in love with the most breathtaking man in this country and he’s also super talented. Did I mention he’s also freaking handsome?” You gushed and now it was his turn to feel the creep of the spreading heat on his cheeks. He resorted to pulling you close to his chest, planting kisses, and simply taking his time to revel in the fact that you were and always wholeheartedly his. 

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jiwon. Can we go home? A cuddle seems good right about now.” You let your lips connected in a flurry of pure happiness. He nodded and with his arm around your shoulders, he escorted his lady into the night with the confident he had when he first declared his love to you.

“Now that I think about it, you’ve never gave me an answer for the offer to be on my next song. I’m still impress with how fast you spoke that night.” As always, his cheeky self could never stay calm for long before continue his never ending tease fest earning him a hard slap to the chest.

“Yea… I’m gonna have to pass. My rapping days are over considering I needed to retired for a certain bunny rapper to shine. I don’t wanna overshadow him, ya know.”

“I still can’t believe I get to love you. I am never ever letting you go. EVER.”

“You act like you got a choice there, dude. Pfts, as far as I’m concern, you’re stuck.” You jabbed at his side, eliciting that distinct chuckle only your bunny rapper could produce.

“I have something else to confess… You can’t be mad though.” 

“I won’t, promise. I spent too much time away from you already.” Concern once again washed over the serenity of your happiness. You halted your steps and he mirrored your action, one foot kicking back and forth in place as if deciding on which word would be best to speak up next.

“I told you I got a courage push from our friends’ vows… Uhm, I actually got the idea for our meeting from her. Are you mad? Please don’t be mad!” Your silent gotten the better of him. He jumped back in place, hands holding onto your arms as if you’d float off with the next gush of wind if he let go. You were honestly just befuddle as to what the hell he was talking about.

“Wha-What are you talking about, baby?” You cocked your eyebrow in perplexity over the strange confession.

“Ididn’trunoveryourfootbyaccident…itwastotallyonpurpose.” He screeched out in panic and you were just amused at how cute he was being. All you could do was heaved a heavy laugh, nearly bending over in ab pain over how sweet and endearing this whole situation was. Who would’ve thought your week of isolation would transpired into something so beautiful as the speech he whispered to you so intimately, into the lovable boy pouting in front of you under the pale moonlight. “baabe, don’t laugh at me. I’m sad.”

“A little faster and you might’ve finally surpass me in the rap game.” You grabbed his large hand in his, tugging him straight into your embrace as kisses rained down on the handsome face. “I know you did it on purpose, Bobby rapper of iKon, half the MOBB duo. I saw you starin’ at me that night. I was surprised you didn’t do something more dramatic.”

“Wait, you knew this whole time???!? NO! I thought I was being clever, why didn’t you say anything.” His mind was being blown as the cloud drifted across the inky sky.

“I thought you were cute, if you hadn’t, I might’ve accidentally spill coffee on you. I was just waiting for you to fess up to it.” You added with a wink, dragging him along to the car.

“I’m so glad I met you. We’re so cute together.”

He added with a content sigh as you both walked off into the distant hand in hand, heart beating as one, and souls elated ecstatic to once again be close.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
—  Rumi, The Essential Rumi,translated by Coleman Barks.