the brain is my favourite

Taco night

So I went with my family for 4 days to a city south of Mexico City called Cuernavaca, in which one of my uncles lives. We went for a taco night and spend a nice time together.

Even my cousins which lives in the USA came to visit us.

About this photo, I liked how aesthetic this taco menu was, and in case you’re wondering which taco is my favourite is “sesos” yeah I like brain tacos.

David - Courtney Barnett

10

Thought it might be interesting to show how my Mos Eisley piece breaks down in Photoshop!  Despite technically being made up of a ton of layers (just for organization and ease of selection), the final piece breaks down into about five parts: inks, flats, shadows, bounce/atmosphere, and overlay.

  1. Sketch
    I actually blocked out a small scene in Maya to help me compose this shot – Mos Eisley has a lot of domes and ellipses and, as much as I adore drawing in perspective, it definitely helped having a basic maquette for placing the camera.  We had to get the sketch approved by Lucasfilm, so I did a quick value pass to hint at the time of day.
  2. Final Sketch
    This is where I’m finalizing the composition before inking.  This meant fine-tuning figure placement, environment details, and any text I had written on the walls.  Luke was almost entirely central in the initial sketch, so I shifted him to the left to let the piece breathe a little more.
  3. Inks
    The first stage of the final piece, and probably my favourite – I can just turn off my brain, zone out, and ink.  Since Star Wars is a notoriously “used” universe, I went for a bit of Geof Darrow vibe and let the inks do a lot of the texture work for me.  The inking is actually done over some twelve-odd layers (sandtrooper, Luke, foreground moisture vaporator, etc), but that was just to organize my file and facilitate expedient flatting later on.  The final inks are a dark green-blue, with a bit of variation in the distance to reinforce the atmospheric perspective.
  4. Flats
    This aaaalways takes longer than I expect.  This stage changes depending on my process, but I went with pretty basic local colors this time around.  Nothing fancy.
  5. Shadows (multiply layer)
    The shadows are all on 1-2 multiply layers, pretty basic.  This was a deceptively simple lighting setup, so I wanted to make sure any edges that were catching light read really clearly.  I added the warm rim of subsurface scattering to break up the edges a bit.
  6. Bounce Light and Atmospheric Perspective (screen layers)
    A couple separate layers, but they serve similar purposes.  This stage added bounce light from the sky and sand, as well as layers of atmospheric perspective to separate out the foreground, midground and background.
  7. Final (overlay layers)
    The final piece!  I used a subtle overlay layer to marry the colors, as well as some film grain and light watercolor texture to break up the swaths of flat digital color.

So that’s my jam!  I’m changing up and improving my process constantly, but this is definitely one way to get things done. :)

Fuck off Brain ~ Tom Holland

Fandom: Marvel?? Hollanders?? Idk 

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Words: 759

Requested?: No

Warnings: Mental illness, self-disappointment, swearing (if you find anything in this that might trigger someone please tell me straight away. I don’t want to hurt or offend anyone.)

A/N: This is shit, short and a load of fuckery. (Sorry) It’s almost midnight and I’m feeling very weird mentally. I don’t feel the way I used to. I’ve been crying for hours in a spaced out world constantly scratching my arms and legs to make sure I’m still alive. I don’t know why I decided to write this imagine but it’s going to play on what I’ve been feeling these past few hours. I feel like if I write it down, I might feel better. I love you all so much and you all mean the world to me.


I don’t when it started. I don’t know why either. But my chest was tight and sore, breathing laboured, heart fast, head swarming and then, blank. Nothing but me and my brain, alone. My brain would tell me things, I’d believe it. 

I was sitting on the floor of our bedroom. I’d been there for hours. Just staring at myself in our large mirror, nails raking harshly up, and down my arms. Did I still feel pain? Did I feel anything?

“Why are you like this? You shouldn’t be like this. Tom doesn’t love you anymore because you’re like this.” I whispered hoarsely, my voice constantly cracking. 

I continued to move my nails along my skin, my eyes eventually tearing away from my tired and dishevelled figure in the mirror. I watched my nails create raw red patterns along my arm.

“You deserve the pain. You deserve to feel like this. One thing you don’t deserve is Tom, oh no you don’t.” I muttered as I increased the pressure of my movements on my arms. 

“Pain makes you human, you’d need a knife in your heart before you even got close.” I laughed bitterly as I finally saw the first spot of blood on my right forearm. I laughed. I was turning into a maniac.

I moved my hands to my legs and began quickly damaging my legs. I could hear the soft sound of fingernails meeting skin which only made my movements gain speed. The skin was burning and peeling.

“Tom doesn’t love you, why would he anyway you’re broken, you’re sick, there’s something wrong in your head that’s too hard to fix. Everyone knows you’re not right for Tom, you’ll never be good enough.” I sobbed loudly. I hadn’t heard Tom come back from the gym. I didn't even hear him rush up the stairs.

I heard him take a loud intake of breath. His feet softly padded along the floor as he made his way over to my shaking and shivering frame. My legs were bright red and in some places bleeding.

Pain makes you human, pain makes you feel.

“Y/N, stop.” He said gently. He sat on the plush carpet beside me and tried to remove my hands from my legs, his fingertips turning red from the cuts on my thighs. “Shh, baby. You’re ok, you’re perfect, you’re gonna be ok.” He said into my hair, placing light kisses on my scalp

And that’s when I lost it. I couldn’t take it anymore. Whatever in my head made me do this was raging a war against me. I was losing. My heart was pounding, my ears ringing.

“I’m not Tom. My brain is killing me from the inside. I can’t do this Tom, I’m not good for you or myself or anyone around me.” I replied as I struggled against his tight grip but failed. 

“Sweetheart, I know you’re hurting, please stop hurting yourself because your brain is telling you. I think your brain is being stupid because when I look at you I see the most perfect girl in the whole wide world.” Tom breathed, pulling my fragile body into his strong one

My sobs had become light hiccups. Even though my brain was still hurting, Tom’s words were beginning to pull me back to reality.

“And anytime your brain tells you that you aren’t good enough or that I don’t love, tell it to fuck off.” He said laughing slightly at the end. His words got my lips to curl into the smallest smile.

“Fuck off brain,” I whispered with a teary eyed smile. I felt Tom emit a hearty laugh that sent vibrations through my chest.

“Fuck off brain!” Tom shouted which made my laugh a little louder. “Leave my favourite girl alone.”

“Tom?” I croaked. He made a sound that signified as an answer.

“I love you,” I whispered, feeling him pull me into his torso even more.

“I love you more than life itself.” He replied lacing his hands with mine. “Let’s go get these cuts clean, then I will get you pizza.” I smiled slightly wider at this.

Tom pulled me up gently and helped me onto the counter in the bathroom. He got a flannel and lightly wet it with water to clean my cuts. 

Even if I was still battling a war inside my mind, at least I had Tom to help me if I need backup. Tom would help me through anything and I know I’ll always love him and he’ll love me, no matter what.

Silent Falls (Chapter 9)

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | PREVIOUS

Characters: Stanley Pines, Stanford Pines, Filbrick Pines, Carla McCorkle, Dr Michael Kauffmann.

Words: 4166
Rating: PG-13 for language.
NOTE: I feel so horrible for not updating as soon as I last thought I could. Been a lot of unexpected things happening in life that’s slowing down my fandom related work. Here’s a new chapter for this story and I hope you’ll enjoy it!

Chapter Nine

THEN

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The metronome went on in a steady rhythm.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Stanley stared unblinkingly at the wall across him. The middle aged man with greying brown hair, sitting to his right, cleared his throat, “How are you feeling Stanley?”

Keep reading

More Lynn Loud and Lincoln Loud. Yea so I woke up this morning and realized I was on the Lynncoln ship…. Please send help, the sailors rough me up when I refused to draw ! Please send help…. send Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Tell @jump-around-jumpjump @patanu102 @captaindarko and @thundermoonbear I love them!!!

Also just watched Heather the Musical after being inspired by @patanu102 drawing of Our Love is Loud :3 Their costume designs are from him and the idea belongs to him. My favourite would be ‘Freeze Your Brain’.

P.s Still working on the style for them.

When it’s over I just want to be able to look in the mirror and say, ‘Well, you were a half-decent player.’

2

1x07

This is another gifset I owed past!Me, although to be honest in the intervening 2 years I probably have found a gifset of it and defaced it with comments because I know me.

Here’s my notes from the last meta rewatch:

The reverend asks everyone to pray and Sam bows his head right away and Dean sits there facing forward and needs a nudge from Sam to bow his head as well. At this point in canon it just looks like him being unaware or just kind of… casually not inclined to pray, but… Argh, this is a wonderful 1 second introduction to Sam and Dean vs faith. They get asked to pray and Sam just does it unquestioningly without even really knowing anything about the guy they’re praying for. And we know this is foreshadowing for Dean’s ongoing issues with the whole thing.
(Also my shipper heart is sobbing because of just how ingrained not-praying was in Dean’s mentality before Cas. UGH)
100 points for blink and you miss it characterisation that holds true for the entire extended emotional arcs of these characters. Bravo.

We’re still only really halfway to Faith, which sets out this whole thing plain on the page, but I love the staging of this. That Sam is the one who at the very least with no context you could assume gets the social nuance of what you’re supposed to do here (and the previous episode was Skin, where we found out for the first time in plain words that Dean feels like a “freak” specifically to regular society and whether Sam fits this bracket too or not he can at least pretend and pass for ~normal~)…

I like as well that you could assume if you were going into this blind that Dean as the apparently more loyal connected-to-the-family-business son (in the words the show likes to use about them ignoring deeper fandom analysis) in a job where they have already been shown utilising religious exorcisms and holy water to fight a demon, Dean might also be the more religious (which might also be more surprising reversal of expectations because he plays bad but Sam seems the goody two shoes and there is that association)… But nope. 4x05 confirms Sam is Van Helsing :P (I have no idea why my brain jumped there. Favourite episode skewing my thought process >.>) Guess he was the one who did the exorcism in 1x04 as well, but Dean was annoyed Sam didn’t think he knew “Christo”, like, duh of course he studied this sort of thing. Anyway, turns out Dean is just a hunter who utilises all the tools, but doesn’t hold any stock in the power behind them.

And Sam telling Dean what to do here, and early example of him policing Dean to behave more politely. Maybe not to blow their cover, but maybe just because Sam thinks you should be respectful even when it’s a grabby jock who they know saw Lori as a conquest and wasn’t exactly sweetly in love with her - I think they could guess how things were going/would have gone between a frat boy and preacher’s daughter exactly as they did in the cold open :P Depending what types of make out spot murder lore they already know about, the idea of punishment might already be on their minds at least low key…

But yeah, my favourite thing about this layered moment is just the Destiel thing, okay? I’m predictable :P Dean’s issues with faith getting their first nod on the screen here showing so so early on that Dean doesn’t particularly like praying. Then Faith cracks it all open and sets up emotional threads which echo all the way through the show. That and Houses of the Holy work together to basically create the entire Destiel framework in a way (and it’s because of 2x13 I’ve been using “angels are watching over you” for my Mary & TFW interactions tag all year).

There’s a sort of semi-conspiracy thought (I’ve never seen a source for it but ~everyone knows~ that Dean’s original love interest was meant to be an angel or whatever (I don’t believe this)) but definitely from the very very start and certainly long before their faiths were actually tested by real angels showing up, Dean had a relationship with the divine directly setting him up with the irony of it being real, while for Sam it would be the irony that it would be cruel to him. And the building blocks are all in place by season 4, easily, for Sam to have his thing with Ruby and Dean to basically have Cas as his equivalent character, their respective mentors for Heaven and Hell, through the season. I think they were pretty much always meant to come down on these sides if the show ever made it to Heaven vs Hell escalation, even if it was something a bit easier to grapple with in a version of the show that never brought in angels. Dean’s reluctance and lack of faith are integral to the irony that makes Cas such an immensely fascinating character to introduce *for* Dean and then to be strongly associated with him through the rest of the show, whether you ship them or not.

(And since I do ship them, welp, for me this is literally, 7 episodes in, where I start counting what will retroactively be excellent Destiel subtext and the beginning of any portrayal of their onscreen relationship. Because they are SO much more than 2 dudes staring at each other.)