My name is cow
And wen its day
I lik the dog
Rite on the face
My name is cow
I love my friend
And wen he visits
I lik dog again
He is a good boy
He taste like bred
I like to lik dog
On friend dogs head
I was thinking about all the traveling that Cress and Thorne do and all the many experiences that seasoned globetrotters have, and it occurred to me that at some point, they would have to go camping at some point. And that is a hilarious concept.
Granted, they both managed to rough it in the Sahara for a few days, but emergency survival in a barren desert is very different from camping in a forest.
Thorne is a city boy, born and bred, and Cress is only just getting used to seeing trees on a daily basis. They aren’t exactly outdoor types, but Cress wants to give everything a try.
Cress packs everything but the kitchen sink (after the whole desert thing, she ain’t gonna be stuck without the necessities again). Two cannisters of bear spray (even though they’re barely on the edge of black bear country), enough food for five days (even though they’re only camping for two), a case of water (even though the campground has its own supply), heavy duty sleeping bags (even though its the middle of summer in North America)—she’s very well-prepared.
And nothing Thorne, who has experienced army basic training and at least one camping trip with Kingsley Thorne, says can persuade her to leave any of it behind. When Cress makes up her mind, there is no swaying her.
Setting up the tent is an adventure because although Thorne did camp out with his dad that one time, that was at least a decade ago. After a full hour of Cress scowling at the instruction manual because it’s no help whatsoever and Thorne cursing at the tent stake he just tripped over for the fifth time, they finally get the blasted thing up. It still sags a little bit in the middle, but they both decide that it’ll do. They’re too tired and sweaty to fight with it anymore.
It’s Cress’s first experience with campfire food, too. Thorne demonstrates the proper hot dog roasting technique (while managing to only drop one into the flames) and introduces Cress to the wonderous invention known as s’mores (she’s very smug about not dropping any into the fire).
By the time dinner’s over, they both have sticky fingers and mustaches of melted chocolate and marshmallow. Selfies are taken, of course.
The rest of the evening is spent stargazing from the hood of the rented hover they took out to the campsite, wading (and splashing each other) in the creek that winds nearby, and finally collapsing into their sleeping bags with happy grins from all the fun they’ve had. Despite the rough start, it’s a good night.
At least until the tent falls on them in the middle of the night. Both parties wake up disoriented and quickly fall into fight or flight mode.
Cress, whose prevailing concern about the trip was the possibility of bears, naturally screams, “BEAR!” at the top of her lungs because in her half-asleep mind, that’s the only possible explanation for the large black thing that appears to be swallowing them.
Thorne, who is also half-asleep, punches blindly and manages to connect—not with a bear—but with one of the aluminum tent poles. He has bruised knuckles for a week and refuses to disclose the origin of the wound to any stranger who asks.
It takes a good minute and a half of thrashing around in the dark before they’re both awake enough to realize what’s happening. Both struggle to muffle their laughter as they try to put their tent back together without calling any more attention to themselves than they already have. Too late. They still get weird looks when they run across people from the neighboring campsites at the communal bathroom the next morning.
All in all, it was a successful trip, but not something Cress and Thorne feel the need to repeat. According to Thorne, getting attacked by a tent is a once in a lifetime event and it’s best left that way.
ok so in Canada when it's really cold sometimes there's something called ice quakes and they make really really loud sounds. sooo I was thinking... auston being woken up by them and being all scared n shit and he calls mitch and mitch is all like "do u want me to come over" and ofc he says yes. and mitch comes over and he's really tired but he'll do anything for his boyfriend and they cuddle on the couch? ahh so soft
“Ice quakes” y’all Canada is wild….(I’m 99.6% sure I’m wrong but I’m just imagining like a random chasm of ice opening up under your feet)
Auston’s never even heard of ice quakes before wtf so he panics when he hears the loud sound and calls Mitch and Mitch laughs himself silly bc he’s a Canada boy born and bred and he’s seen snow before, Auston, yes that’s normal. But it’s as good an excuse for cuddling as any so yeah Mitch comes over to…um, protect his boyf from the scary ice
“We play hockey Marns. On ice. I’m not afraid of ice.”
“Government probably bred those things to kill black boys. First they
sent in drugs, then they sent guns and now they’re sending monsters in
to kill us. They don’t care, man. We ain’t killing each other fast
enough. So they decided to speed up the process.”