So in addition to my other duties at my new job, I’m a general errand runner. I announced today that I would be heading out to get a few chores done. Immediately I was bombarded by requests from all sides. Most were reasonable. Taking packages to the post office, purchasing various supplies, recycling used ink cartridges, etc.
But then I was tasked with buying several dozen pillows.
This is what my car looks like stuffed with about 30 pillows (not pictured is all the pillows in the trunk, which was full to near bursting).
There were lots of questions from curious onlookers. Here, in no particular order, are the various reasons I gave for purchasing a plentiful plethora of pillows:
“Because my queen demands it!”
“Best. Pillow fort. Ever.”
“I’m opening up the cheapest and comfiest bordello this side of the Mississippi.”
*shifty eyes* “For research.”
“I’m just supplying my emergency bunker so I’ll be ready for the apocalypse.”
“*incredulous look* “You don’t have this many pillows?”
A spell for immigrants to feel welcome in their new home
A map of your homeland
A map of where you live now
A white candle
**Lavender plant start
Gather your items and place a small amount of soil in the bottom of the pot. Light candle and use to burn map of your homeland then burn map of your new home. Place ashes in pot, add a bit more soil and stir deosil. Place start on pot. Do this all while chanting Immigrada Immigraniada and imagining everyone in your town being friendly and welcoming to you and your culture. Place plant near entrance of your home
*if you don’t have your own yard, use pot
**If you don’t think you can maintain a plant, bury ashes in area near or on your property
If you’ve lived many countries, you can modify it to suit your needs