Acquainted || Montgomery De La Cruz
summary: the reader has some problems in the last time and monty helps her get through it.
inspiration and title: acquainted - the weeknd
word count: 2592
„Actually I don’t feel like talking to you, right now“, you muttered. It was early in the morning and there were no people outside, no one but the fresh spring air and the clouds looking down at you. You thought you could hear them laughing about you.
„Who said I wanted to talk?“, Montgomery asked with a sudden attraction in his voice. He came a bit nearer to you, so near, that you smelled his fresh perfume he had put on before he went out for a run.
„I said No, Monty“, you added, without looking him in the eyes. „And I don’t think we can keep doing this.“
His eyes widened. For a second you thought to hear a tiny, sarcastic smile by him. Then you decided none of this was worth thinking about it. You pushed the door a bit wider and waited for him to say something.
„That’s it?“, he asked impolite. You didn’t know if you had hurt him or if he was only very annoyed. Maybe he had known it would come this way. That’s how these friendships always turned out.
You hiked your shoulder against his unfriendly reaction. He had reacted in exact the same way you had predicted it before.
„That’s it“, you nodded and still avoided to look him in the eyes.
He took some steps back without even trying to convince you once more. You could almost feel something falling off of him, leaving his mind and his face, his body and his heart. You knew what this meant. You knew he was completely not giving a shit about you anymore. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel released at all. You bit your lip.
„I’m sorry, Monty“, you began softly but he shook his head.
That’s all what he threw in your face, before he left and you saw his back vanishing down the street of where you lived. For some reason you felt worse than you could ever have imagined.
It was the second Tuesday in the summer holidays when you arrived. You haven’t been invited in an actual way, but a friend had mentioned to you that Jess was having a party at her house and that you come, too. You had spent the last few days thinking about almost every wrong decision you had ever made in your life. But now you had decided that it was enough. It was time to leave all this behind you and start all over again.
„How do I look?“, you asked, trying to hide how insecure you actually were. You haven’t been to a party, for at least the last two months. You had done nothing, but studying like a nerd and sometimes doing those little, dangerous and forbidden things.
Sheri lifted her pretty chin up and looked at you with wide eyes. She was wearing a brown-sugar-colored dress with pink roses on it and black high heels. She looked as beautiful as always.
Compared to her you felt like a sack of potatoes, eventhough you really had no need to. You wore a cropped jeans skirt and a dark blue top which offered a view or your skinny arms and collar bones. Your hair was open and fell long over your shoulders. The holidays hadn’t even started yet when you had begun to lose weight, slowly but strictly.
„You look stunning“, Sheri smiled when she looked up from her magazine. She had spent the last hour waiting for you to get dressed but you felt like you had forgotten how to go out. Depression had hit you bad the last year. It cost you many hours to come through the senior year in high school for all the things you had missed when you covered yourself in bed sheets, where you didn’t see sunshine for almost a week. But you had recovered – mostly. You had friends which had helped you through it, a loving family and the one person, who helped you the most…well, you had decided earlier that he only reminded you of the bad times in your life.
After half an hour the two of you arrived at Jess’ house. Strictly against your plans, Jess was very happy to see you there. She didn’t invite you herself because she wasn’t actually sure if you would come. You hadn’t been to her last few parties. But when she saw you decided to come to this one, she wouldn’t leave your side for a second. Jess is, what you might call a very special friend. Moody, rude, sometimes even mean, but at her heart she was a good person and she cared a lot.
Before you could even react you crashed against someones hard chest.
„Oh hi, Jeff“, you said friendly and smiled wide when you saw him. Jeff and you had been studying together often in the last year, before you fell so hard. Now you had heard that Clay Jensen helped him with his grammar problems.
„Y/N! I’m glad you came“, Jeff said politely and laid his arm around your shoulders. You felt his warmth flash through your body and it felt good. It was the hugging of a good, old friend and you found yourself, how you wished it wouldn’t stop. Jeff was the type of guy you could hide behind, because he would always be there and give you just enough space to always find yourself in no need to hide. You had a little crush on him before, but it has vanished – like all feelings you had before.
„How have you been?“, Jeff asked.
You nodded carefully, as you watched Jess fill up some bowls with snacks. A little smile framed your lips as you looked up to Jeff again who was patiently waiting for you to keep speaking.
„I’m good. As always“, you tried to sound persuasive but you failed and Jeff noticed. But he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.
„I’d hope so!“ He placed a big smile on his face while speaking. „And you came here to have fun, didn’t you? I mean, we can always talk and we definetely should.“
„Right. Fun forward“, you added and felt relief when Jeff stood up and seemed very satisfied. He left for a second and came back with two big, red cups. You didn’t even think about it, you just drank and felt how the pain felt less and your feeling flashed over from hurting to absolutely numb.
„You’re a good friend, Atkins“, you said tenderly.
Jeff laughed. „As long as you’re happy.“ He took a sip of his beer and looked across the room.
„Wait for a second, there’s someone I need to talk to. I’ll be right back“, he promised and let you stand there. You nodded, you nodded even when he already left and sat back on the couch. Jeff disappeared outside to the beerpong people und it was very okay for you. You felt some space when you were alone, eventhough you felt like a normal person when Jeff was around. You forgot about your mental illness and were normal for a bit and that was worth so much more to you than feeling space.
„What up, cheerleader“, you could hear someone, talking more to herself than to you. You lifted your view up and saw Jess. She had finished her snacks and found now the time to sit down right next to you. She had a bottle of Vodka in her hand. A smile flashed through your white teeth and let you quiet for a second.
„What the hell, Jess?“
Jess grinned in your direction. „Hey, it’s a party, isn’t it?“
You nodded and watched Jess fill up some empty cups with Vodka. The water alike looking wet product smelled like disinfectant, but you didn’t care. When the drink reached your lips you found yourself feeling more and more normal again. Like two years ago. You were partying, singing, dancing and kissing like every other girl and Jess could best remember that. But after that last year…
You swallowed. Your eyes stood wide open when you saw him, pressing his back against the orange wall, looking directly at you all across the whole room. You could almost hear his reproachful voice in your head.
Don’t drink the hard stuff, Y/N. Who’s going to rescue you when you lose your head again?
But you took your eyes of off him and ignored his staring. It was more than a week in the past that you had ended your little, secret friendship and you didn’t feel like refreshing it in that moment. You wanted to be a new person, a new you. And when you looked at his dark eyes you saw yourself so weak as always.
„Are you okay?“, Jess asked suddenly and pointed at the Vodka. „Too hard?“
„Just hard enough“, you corrected her and swallowed the last bit.
The music was turned on, somewhere in the distance, but you didn’t hear it anymore. The sounds in your own head were way too loud to hear anything. You could hear different voices and people were screaming, you were screaming and the Vodka was screaming the loudest screams.
„Hey, Y/N, you okay?“, someone shouted.
„Yes“, you shouted back and braced yourself for falling down, but it didn’t happen. Instead you felt the rockhard wall on your cracked hands. You went out only to get a fresh head, but you didn’t know the nausea would get even more terrible when you left the house. You drank too much in a short time and now you felt sick. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The sickness was easy to handle. Two bottles of water, some puking, some salt crackers and you would be the old you. It were the voices. They were so damn loud and gave you a terrible headache.
„Stop“, you said yourself while trying to walk a straight line. You couldn’t. You fell down and felt a sudden pain breaking through your body, when your head touched the ground.
„I can’t do this anymore“, you said softly to yourself. You hadn’t even noticed tears were streaming down your cheeks.
Why couldn’t you be like Jess was? Or Sheri? Even Hannah? All the normal girls in there. They had drank way more than you had and they were still good, dancing, holding hands, laughing and having a good time. But you laid outside, somewhere next to Jess’ garden, with a bloody cheek and teary eyes.
„What the fuck?“
A voice behind you scared you for a second, but you didn’t care about it, actually. If somebody came to kill you now you would be totally unable to fight for yourself so you’d have to accept that this was your last day on earth.
Two very big and very soft hands covered your head and lifted it up on someones lap. You tried to see something through the dark but you couldn’t see anyone through the night, your tearful eyes and the blood, that shifted down on your temple.
„What the hell happened to you?“, a soft voice asked you. Suddenly the voice sounded very familiar to you. You had heard it so often, so hard on your head, whenever you felt good or bad. You felt even more tears streaming down your face when you realized who that was, sweeping your wet hair streaks out of your face.
„Monty?“, you asked with a dying voice.
„Hush“, he said softly with his lips near your ear. He tangled his arms around your upper body and pressed you as close to him as possible. His touch was intimitate that it made you cry even more, more and more. So much till your shoulder shook and your whole body trembled and shivered.
„I’m so sorry. I treated you like shit“, you said with a weak voice.
It was dark and you couldn’t exactly see his face but you knew that he was smiling. „I could write a song about that“, he playfully huffed. His voice was warm again and you felt he was pulling you closer.
„I had to come when I heard you were coming“, he whispered.
„I’m so stupid. This happens all the time. I can’t keep myself up reasonable like every other girl on this planet can.“
Monty smiled again and took your hand. You pressed it and closed your eyes. Then you pressed his hand against your cheek.
„You’re not like other girls“, he added.
You shook your head heavily. „Why not?“
Montgomorey thought about it for a moment, then stroked your head gently and you could feel the panic leaving your body. He had this done so often before that you couldn’t count it. He had been there, writing your homework for you every once in a while. He had held your hand and kissed your cheek and your forehead and slept next to you, doing absolutely nothing.
And when you had felt like it, he had done more than nothing. Everything.
Pressed you against the wall and kissed you.
Kissed your whole body. Kissed the spots where no one on this earth had ever kissed you before. That’s where he had become more than just a normal friend…where he became that kind of friend. And as one of your rebellious, crazy, stupid, dumb actions you had decided to throw him out of your life completely. For a little second you had felt like he would take advantage of your crazy mess of feelings, what he never had done and never would. And you had thrown him away like trash.
And there the two of you were. He had rescued yourself from yourself again, without waiting a second.
„I said myself so often I don’t run after people and suddenly I’d run a damn marathon for you. You still think you want to be someone else?“
You shook your head. „But I’m a mess“, you whispered with a warning tone in your voice.
Monty pressed your hand again and helped you to sit up, so that you could look him in the eyes while you were talking.
„Nothing that I couldn’t clean up“, he grinned.
You smiled, too. And for a second you could smile without any pretending again, without any forces…You just smiled because you wanted to.
„Come on, I’ll take you home“, he said and made a move to stand up.
You touched his elbow to keep you down on the street. You didn’t want him to get up. To go anywhere. To leave you, even if it was only for a second. Suddenly you understood it. There was only once person you wanted around. For last six months at least. And you would never treat him like that again. At least you’d try not to.
„Wait. Monty …“, you started, but he pressed his finger on your lips, before you could keep talking. He gripped the back of your head so tight and pulled you closer. You felt warmth coming up in your body, when he pressed his lips on yours. You opened your mouth to let his kiss in, to let all of him into you. Your tongue played with the tip of his and you wanted more, more with every second. Trying to catch your breath you pulled your head back.
„Monty“, you started again, rushing this time.
He smiled and said only one thing, before he pulled you closer, to kiss you all over and over again.
„Hush, baby. I love you too…“