the black lung

An incomplete list of the different answers Andrew has given reporters when they have asked why he and his ex-teammate turned rival Neil wear matching armbands:

  • “Kevin’s marking his new exclusive court team with the armbands. So far we’re the only ones picked.”
  • “It only took a few months of knowing him to know he was going to be my mortal enemy, so I marked him with the armbands so everyone would know.”
  • “Neil Josten is a copycat piece of shit with no sense of personal style.”
  • “We’ve been together since university. We secretly live together. We own cats. It’s disgusting.”
  • “The armbands are how Wymack marked the worst troublemakers on his team. Neil was so awful no one managed to rank after him.”
  • “Neil lost a bet and has to wear those armbands for ten years.”
  • “They’re to hide our matching sleeve tattoos from a drunken night his freshman year.”
  • “I forgot about his birthday and had an extra pair lying around so I used them as a shitty present. He’s been wearing them for years. Pathetic.”
  • “What armbands? I have never seen him wear armbands.”
  • “Wymack marked his best players with them. What a shame his own son didn’t earn any. Kevin cried the day Neil got his.”
  • “Which one’s Neil again? Is he that really tall dealer? No? Then who am I thinking of?”
  • “Nicky gave us the same gifts every year because apparently ‘we are impossible to shop for’.”
  • “Wymack marked the players that smoke with armbands ‘as black as our lungs are going to turn’ to try to shame us into quitting.”
  • “They used to be friendship bracelets, but now they mark my burning hatred for him.”
  • “Neil Josten changes his appearance so suddenly and extremely, we had to mark him so we would recognize him when he showed up to practice. I guess he got used to wearing them.”
  • “Neil’s so pale if his arms see direct sunlight, he gets third degree burns. No one knows why. It’s just his arms. Doctors are stumped.”
  • “He stole them from me years ago and wears them at all times to taunt me. And so that I can’t steal them back.”
  • “He hides knives in them. He’s a real danger to himself and everyone around him. I can’t believe no one’s stopped him yet.”

No one fully believes any of the answers and they’re all taken as sarcastic.

2

rockin’ jams that are great to scream along to at the top of your lungs

[listen here]

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

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When I was
A young boy
My father
Took me into the city
To see a marching band
He said:
“Son, when you grow up
DON’T EVER READ A FANFICTION THAT STARTS WITH “THE” AND ENDS WITH “FIC”“

Reasons To Watch UNHhhh

-Johnny Test whip cracks
-Contact™
-“Cause Honey what you see…”
-Trixie’s impressions of Rupaul
-Peter, Ron, and Chris
-Katya’s old woman, black lung, airless scream/gasp
-*Thworp*
-Trixie and Katya’s introductions
-Maureen
-“Oh y'all wanted a twist?”
-Katya touching Trixie with her fan
-Katya getting up and walking away
-Somewhat good advice buried under a shit ton of other things
-Rap Poses
-Katya’s little plastic hands that go on her fingers
-“Care for a fucking?”