“none of us is hiding sirius black under our cloaks,” remus said when professor mcgonagall stopped him and peter in the hall after a dung bomb incident, struggling to keep a straight face while james was hiding himself and sirius under his invisibility cloak just feet away from them.
“none of us is hiding sirius black under our cloaks,” remus said when the dementor came gliding into the compartment, struggling to keep a straight face while the ghost of sirius’ muffled giggles rang through his head and james potter’s son was sat just feet away from him.
What MRA’s think will happen at the Women-Only Wonder Woman Screenings
We at the Alamo Drafthouse would like to officially apologize for our role in the end of mankind as we knew it, and the ascendant Gynocracy that followed. We didn’t know our women-only screening of Wonder Woman would result in the overthrow of all world governments and the total subjugation of men, but in hindsight we probably should have seen it coming.
You should have died. This was the fourth time in your life that you should’ve died. Every time, just before it happens a scythe-wielding figure in a black cloak saves you, always whispering “Not today…”
A bandit gang preys on wounded and weary adventurers
as they straggle down the road from the dungeon
to the city.
A black cloak was stolen from the Burnt Bridge tavern
last night; sewn into the hem is a treasure map.
A gigantic egg appeared in the town square last night.
No one knows what might hatch out of it, but it’s
going to happen soon.
A deity walks the city streets disguised as a humble
A hot-tempered knight has promised all his lands to
his brother if he is bested at the upcoming jousting
A leading churchman has announced a heretical
doctrine; his fellow priests have demanded that he
recant, on pain of excommunication.
A wrestler named Drón Goldentress will perform
three great quests for anyone who can beat her in
Agitation grows in a neighboring land for a renewed
war against the kingdom.
An eerie dog with glowing eyes stalks the city at
night. The magnificent sorcerer Furioso was bitten by
it, and now he can barely remember his own name.
Ditchdiggers unearthed an ornate tin casket the other
day. They can’t figure out how to open it, but won’t
let anyone else try, either.
Drinking a poison surely meant for someone else,
the meek baker Oswald dropped dead in a tavern
During the day, the headsman’s daughter appears
rather homely, but under the moonlight, she is the
fairest young maiden in the realm.
Every hundred years or so, a black, venomous rain
falls on the city, killing hundreds of people. A recurrence
is months overdue.
The Superordinate Six, a band of famed adventurers,
have failed to return from an expedition to the Rat
Goblins tunneled a good distance under the city walls
last year, but the authorities covered it up.
Grave robbers have been digging up the bones of
slain adventurers. They must be working for a lich
or evil wizard.
Luriez the horse trader is auctioning off Bravo, a
clever and magnificent steed. His former owner,
a luckless mercenary, lost him in a dice game.
Magic items sold by Antesos Three-Beard have a
peculiar way of finding their way back to his shop
after the purchasers die.
Many of a famous knight’s heroic feats were in fact
performed by his squire, a young girl dressed as
Mercenaries have taken sanctuary in the temple; the
high priests want them out but are forbidden by the
tenets of their faith to expel them.
Pound for pound, the most valuable treasure in town
is not silver or gold, but the cache of saffron hidden
in the spice merchant’s shop.
Priestess Ciana has great healing powers, but those
she raises from the dead sometimes take on her
Pulsing green lights are frequently observed near the
abandoned mines south of the city.
Recent rains flooded the catacombs beneath the city;
strange things are floating to the surface.
Someone is stealing all of the town’s church bells.
Somewhere in the city, the priceless Altar of Kych is
hidden in plain sight.
The armorer Casabon just received a shipment of
Zhenish steel, which will make fine blades for those
who can afford them.
The astronomer Harun the Subtle reports sighting a
circle of new red stars in the sky. The Royal Astrological
Society has offered a reward to anyone who can
conclusively explain the meaning of this omen.
The beloved singer Dulari has fallen prey to a terrible
illness, one the healers can’t cure.
The bullying city watchman Moyalva has been extorting money from the weak and helpless.
The courtier Vivando has fallen out of favor with
the king, who suspects him of having eyes for the
The exiled prince of Cadis unwisely dismissed a
churlish servant who knows too much about his
The feathers that rained down on Beggar’s Alley last
night came from the wings of battling archons.
The floorboards beneath the Trembling Pig Inn are
hollow and full of stolen gold.
Pirates have disrupted grain shipments meant for the
kingdom; starvation looms if traders cannot resupply in time.
The high sheriff becomes violently enraged if anyone
accuses him of having orc blood.
The king is a usurper who has the real heir to the
throne chained up in his basement.
The king plans to build new watchtowers around the
city. Laborers, once desperate for work, will soon be
hard to hire.
The king’s chief minister plans to step down, making
way for his clever but abrasive protégé.
The philosopher Frabreck has released another
pamphlet arguing for the conquest of the orc lands,
so that its peoples can be liberated from evil and
placed under the king’s benevolent rule.
The rancher Septimus is raising a flock of strange
reptilian beasts on his farm.
The retainers of an unpopular knight quelled an
uprising on his lands by fi ring crossbows into an
The rich merchant Zaguant has learned that pirates
have sold his son into slavery.
The son and daughter of two rival merchant families
eloped a few weeks ago. Both fathers offer a reward
for the son: his father aims to protect him, but the
girl’s wants him dead.
Whenever a member of the murderous Lampedusa
clan is slain, the weapon used to deal the death blow
is permanently imbued with powerful magic.
The young adventurer Brialda carries a shield bearing
the crest of the Acatero family, even though, as an
illegitimate daughter of that clan, she is not entitled
An ancient throne lies buried in a field nearby.
Anyone who sits on the throne for an entire night
will rise from it a wise man or a lunatic.
They say that if you listen long enough to the water
lapping against the shore near the statue of King
Brand, you will hear the name of an innocent person
you are fated to kill.
They’re slaughtering more than just cows and sheep
at the old abattoir down by the piers.
Whenever ravens gather on the clock tower, a mighty
a comprehensive list of every harry potter character i want to know more about
hannah abbott - is she doing okay? how’s her and neville’s relationship going? do they have any kids? does she make like the best butterbeer ever? i want to know
bathsheda babbling - apparently she was the ancient runes teacher at hogwarts and truly i just want to know more about her because look at that fucking name
katie bell - how’s my girl katie doing? hopefully not too affected by that whole dark curse thing she had to deal with? also i just want to know more about her like how’d she get into quidditch what were her stats like when did her and oliver wood get married
phineas negillus black - truly it’s tragic that whenever i picture him in my mind i see phineas from phineas and ferb with black hair and a very large black wizarding cloak on but like besides that how was he as a headmaster? what was he like? does he take joy in being a little dick head? i truly want to know
susan bones - how is she after her aunt’s death? what’s she doing with her life? susan bones sounds like the type of girl who’d be really really good at braiding hair. is she really really good at braiding hair?
lavender brown - i hope she’s doing okay and that she’s learning to live with the scars greyback gave her and hopefully she’s not a werewolf and listen she just liked ron is that really such a crime jk rowling did her so dirty!!! also i want to know everything about her and parvati’s relationship “friendship” and all the crazy make-outs shenanigans they got into
charity burbage - how’d she get into teaching muggle studies? was she scared those last few moments of her life? was she a good teacher? why the hell did jk rowling never let us witness a muggle studies class
alecto & amycus carrow - damn tell me everything about these two what was their childhood how’d they get into the dark arts literally how far were they willing to go because like torturing children is just fucking evil
the cattermoles - did they actually grab their family and get out of britain?? i sure hope so
penelope clearwater - how’s she doing??? did she get like fucking awesome grades?? how’d she react when percy was being a Dick? important questions
dennis creevey - legit how many times did collin write to him about harry? i bet dennis was like “jesus fuck mate shut up”. is he doing okay? i sure hope so. i hope he got into photography too
fleur delacour - listen i just want to know MORE what kind of student was she??? how many friends did she have??? i want more elaboration on her relationship with her sister. i want a whole god damn book just about fleur’s life. god damn it
dedalus diggle - how did anyone let him become an auror with a name like that
the dumbledores - please, for the love of god, i’d die if jk rowling gave us a book on the dumbledores. think about all that information. wow.
arabella figg - how did a squib get in contact with dumbledore? how was her life growing up being a squib? what were all her cat’s names? did she go play bridge every night with her friends? these are questions i need answers to
seamus finnigan - “me mam” oh you sweet boy how i love you. when was the first time he and dean kissed and was it as magical as he thought?? i won’t rest until i am answered
mundungnus fletcher - so like did he become like he is because of his name or did he change his name to reflect the fact that he was an utter piece of shit
filius flitwick - how’d he get into charms!!! what were his favorite teaching methods!!! favorite students!!! literally anything!!!
florean fortescue - i want to know every single damn flavor of ice cream he had in his shop. also, did he ever reopen it??
astoria greengrass - how’d she and draco meet? what are her political views?? her family life??? what kind of mother was she to scorpius?? i bet she was a damn elegant one
rubeus hagrid - like i want DETAILS about his life at hogwarts. every damn one. and about his life afterwards. i want a tour of his cottage. transcripts of every date he went on with madame maxime or whatever. a list of every single pet he ever owned. i want stories about him going to romania and visiting charlie. i want EVERYTHING
angelina johnson - my BITCH how’s she doing???? how’s life after hogwarts for her?? is she kicking ass and taking names?? i sure hope so. is she playing quidditch? or maybe she’s like a wizarding lawyer or something like stone cold bitch!!!! love that girl. what kind of mother is she? when did she and george fall in love?? does she still meet up with alicia spinnet and katie bell every once in a while for tea and biscuits and a chat?
lee jordan - IS HE A PROFESSIONAL COMMENTATOR. THAT’S ALL I WANT TO KNOW
bellatrix lestrange - i honestly just want to know everything about her. how was she growing up? her relationship with her sisters? when did she like fall in love or infatuation or lust or whatever with voldemort??? is like the no nose thing a kink? when’d she lose her mind? important questions
frank and alice longbottom - how’d they meet? how’d they fall in love? how’d they get married? they deserved better
ernie macmillan - did he ever stop being such a little bitch?
minerva mcgonagall - LEGITIMATELY EVERYTHING I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING i want a 1000 page essay detailing her time at hogwarts
cormac mclaggen - did he ever stop being such a big dick?
the patil sisters - listen tell me about like hinduism and magic and indian culture and hindu mythology and magic and also just everything about these sisters and their sisterly bond and how they were both underestimated and taken for giggling girls even though they were smart as fuck i love them
kingsley shacklebolt - okay i wanna hear how awesome he was at school and about how everyone loved him and i wanna hear about his adventures in the ministry and him talking to the muggle prime minister and basically how fucking awesome he was
dean thomas - his love for soccer!!!! tell me all about it!!!! his love for seamus!!!!! tell me all about it!!!!
ted tonks - how did he and andromeda fall in love??? did he try to convince her he was worth it???? was he Smooth As Fuck??? important questions
the weasleys - like i KNOW we know a ton about them but i just want MORE. i want more charlie and bill and bill and ginny’s relationship and all the siblings hanging out and i just want MORE of the dynamic
i kno he’s dressed like this for the Mystery Element but all i can think about whenever i watch this scene now is ford going out and purchasing a black cloak and gloves and thinking they made him seem cooler
day I read a series of posts on the Hogwarts uniform and how book!uniform
differs from movie!uniform, which is more canonical and whether there’s
been/there should be some retconning to unify the books, films and
illustrations from different sources. Since wizarding fashion is one of my
favourite subjects (particularly since the word “corsets” was mentioned in
HBP), I thought I had to write a post about it. So here it goes.
As much as
I like the movie uniforms, the way I see it, they’re irreconcilable with those
described in the books, which, both because they’re from the book and because
that’s how I see them in my head, I consider canonical. Most people point out
as proof of this that in a couple of occasions we are told more or less directly
that the basic (I’ll talk more about this later) uniform does not bear any
house indicator (see the Penelope Clearwater and Crabbe-and-Goyle’d
Ron-and-Harry Cases, both in CoS). This is true. However, what I see as a
bigger issue is the fact that the movie!uniform is basically a muggle school
uniform with robes instead of a blazer, which, considering how often we see
wizards struggling with muggle clothing, doesn’t really add up. And given that
school uniforms tend to be on the conservative side of fashion, it would make
much more sense to have the Hogwarts uniform resemble traditional wizarding
robes are completely open at the front save for one (PoA-onwards) or two
(PS-CoS) little clasps, which would take next to no time to do up and undo, so
the movie robes would be put on and off like a bathrobe or a coat. However,
most (if not all) of the times we see Harry changing into his school robes he’s
described as pulling them over his head. To me that implies that the front is
not open all the way down, that maybe there’s just a small opening with a few
buttons, like a polo shirt. Either that or the robes are open all the way down
but fastening and unfastening them is so tedious that students simply never do
them up or undo them all the way. In a pre-zipper world, a front opening like
that would most probably mean a metric tonne of little buttons, at least (look
up some old-timey portraits, particularly of women’s fashion. They took their
buttons seriously). No one has time to fiddle with that many buttons, so it
would be easier to undo a few of the top ones and pull the robes over your
I think the left-hand version fits the description of “plain black work
robes” better. And yes, there’s no indication anywhere in the books that the sleeves
are flared or gathered at the top, but they look more wizardy this way, so.
For an even
more undeniable piece of evidence that supports the idea of having a closed
front, look no further than Snape’s worst memory in OotP. When he gets
levicorpused by James, we see his underwear. He’s not wearing trousers. Wh. Why
is he not wearing trousers??? Because there’s no risk of accidental exposure of
one’s undergarments when there isn’t a massive opening on the front of one’s
robes, that’s why. Also, if for some sinister reason he had not been wearing trousers under open-fronted
robes, everybody would’ve been able to see his pants already and it wouldn’t
have been “funny” when James revealed them.
seems that trousers, even though they are
worn in the wizarding world, are neither required nor part of traditional
wizarding attire. See the old man at the Quidditch World Cup. Trousers have
been adopted to some extent, but they are not considered wizarding
clothing per se, but rather a garment borrowed from muggles. So if we go back to the idea that uniforms tend to be conservative,
the Hogwarts uniform would have probably been designed to be worn with no
clothes underneath other than underwear.
On hats gone
with the wind and cloaks
plain pointed hat (black) for day wear.” Day
wear. In the films (PS, basically), hats seem to only be worn on special
occasions. And I can understand that; On set they’re probably a huge
inconvenience as they like to fall off and have to be touched up constantly and
may cover something/someone important. Still, canonically, a pointed black hat
for day wear is part of the Hogwarts uniform.
Now, do not
quote me on this, but I am positive that in one of the books there is a
description of a windy day where students grab the brims of their hats so that
they don’t get blown off. That’s the one and only time in the whole series
(that I can remember) where the uniform hats are said to be brimmed. It makes
sense, though, as traditional witch hats do have a brim. Modest brims seem
adequate for uniforms. (I do think it is strange to make students wear hats
indoors, but oh well.)
“Maybe I’ll skive off Divination,” he said glumly as they stood
again in the courtyard after lunch, the wind whipping at the hems of
robes and brims of hats.’ - OotP, chapter 17)
the winter cloaks. Again, plain and black, this time with silver clasps. No
crest, no house colours. And there’s also the protective dragonskin gloves,
which seem to be used both as protective gloves for Potions/Care of Magical
Creatures/Herbology and as regular winter gloves.
pride (or the lack thereof)
So far we
have established that the uniform consists basically of plain black garments: a
set of black robes (closed front), a black cloak, a black hat. Hence, by
default, there is no way to tell what house a student belongs to just by their
attire. Or is there? Here’s where the “basic uniform” I mentioned before comes
It is true
that the robes, hats and cloaks are plain black when bought. And yet, there are
many points in the story when Harry seems to simply know what house some students belong to, even when he
clearly doesn’t know them. We get constant references to “a gorup of first year
Ravenclaws” or “a Hufflepuff girl”, and since the story is told from Harry’s
point of view rather than an omniscient narrator’s, there must be a way for Harry
to tell apart people from different houses without knowing them personally. So
how can we reconcile the ideas that some people’s house is recognisable at
first sight while other people’s isn’t? It’s quite simple: CUSTOMISATION.
scarves, appliques, ribbons, hat ornaments, buttons, socks, belts, and a long
etc, to show your house pride. Just as we can get jumpers and hoodies and caps
and whatnot with the name and colours of our uni or specific college, kids in
the wizarding world are probably able to buy (and make) house merchandise. These
items would be available at Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, and parents would send
them to their children once they’ve been sorted or the kids themselves would be able
to get them via owl order.
may only wear a small badge on their chest. Others a scarf+turtleneck undershirt+bandana+animal-shaped
hat bauble combo. I love to imagine some kids wearing ridiculously tacky
things, like red-and-gold neck ruffles or bee-striped boots. And those kids who
are not as inclined to show off their house? They can just wear their basic