the black cat dc

Batfam as Tweets and Tumblr Shitposts™
  • Dick: Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
  • Steph: That was deep
  • Tim: Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
  • Steph: That was deeper
  • Jason: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie YOU NASTY!
  • -------
  • Tim: What if trees cried because we started eating their fruit because their fruit is basically their babies. So every time we eat an apple or something, we're eating a tree baby
  • Damian: *Slowly backs away from the fruit bowl looking stricken*
  • Bruce: *Not looking up from his newspaper* we're eating their ovaries actually
  • --------
  • Jason: That feeling you get when you're angry
  • Dick: Anger
  • --------
  • Steph: Boys are so lucky to have boners to tell them when they're horny because girls are just like damn am I horny or am I hungry or am I bored I don't know I don't have a dick
  • --------
  • Jason: If I cut off my foot and like swing it at your head am I kicking or hitting you?
  • Tim: You'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything else
  • ---------
  • Dick: Carpe diem seize the day. Carpe noctem seize the night. Carpe natem seize the ass.
  • ---------
  • Jason: 80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% don't care
  • Tim: That's 110%
  • Jason: 20% of me doesn't care
  • Tim: Should've seen that coming
  • ----------
  • Bruce: *Mary Poppins voice* okay children time to go
  • [Fifteen minutes later]
  • Bruce: *Batman voice* I said let's go
  • -----------
  • Alfred: Who ate all the cookies?
  • Dick: Ninjas
  • Alfred: I didn't see them
  • Dick: No one ever does
  • -----------
  • Bruce: *Calls up pizza place*
  • Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? IF YOU ARE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT'S WORKING
And now, in no particular order, the Top Ten Hottest Cartoon Women:

Rogue (X-Men)

Jasmine (Aladdin)

Black Cat (Spider-Man)

Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Holli Would (Cool World)

Chel (The Road to El Dorado)

Esmerelda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Hello Nurse (Animaniacs)

Harley Quinn (Batman: The Animated Series)

Princess Daphne* (Dragon’s Lair)

Again, a big thank you to everyone who sent in suggestions and helped us compile this list. :D

(*Okay, technically Dragon’s Lair is a game, but it always felt more like a Don Bluth animated movie to us.)

Girls Night

Prompt: Maybe something in which the girls of the batfam can get some spotlight? And can you do one with batmom being related to harley or ivy and the batfam finding out
Requested by: justplaindontask and ANON

Fandom: DC

AN: for the second prompt I ended up making it Batsis. Hope that’s okay


    Girls night had become a tradition early one. Putting on a cute outfit, with great shoes, was a must when you spent most of your nights sweating in spandex and covered in grime. Your heels were higher than was practical, and you knew that ten minutes into dancing you’d be sliding  them off, but you were prepared for that. You had a pair of flats in your purse ready to go.

    You slip out of your room, and down to the garage. You start the car quietly and keep going. You pull in front of the restaurant and find your group already there. Stephanie is mid way through her third shot when you sit down, Barbara has a margarita in front of her, and Cass is sucking down a long island ice tea. They hoot as you walk up.

    Barbara smiles, “Now I know your dad didn’t see you leave the house in that dress.” You glance down at the black halter top dress. You smile and do a little shimmy.

    “He and the boys were in the cave, I slipped away unnoticed.” You order a martini, and an appetizer. And the chit chat starts. You cover everything from Dick’s freakout about Barbara’s latest mission, to Stephanie’s latest prank on Damian. You fill them in about school. Cass simply grins through the whole thing.

    When she nods towards the ladies approaching you, you raise an eyebrow in question. Your mother winks at you, and her friends sit down at the table. She kisses you cheek, “And how is my darling daughter?”

    You stare at Pamela. Your existence had come from a seduction gone wrong. She’d been out to use Bruce Wayne’s money to pressure people into giving into her commands. One plant based love potion later and you were created. She still claimed your father was one of the best men alive, even if she didn’t have a clue that he was the same man who stopped her every scheme.

But your mother had always claimed that you were the most precious thing in her life. Her greatest masterpiece. She’d managed to hide your existence for a while, to keep her nose clean. But the call was too much, and when she had gone back to Arkham, your father had been gifted with you. Supervised visits had been allowed. Little did she know, that you had inherited her powers minus the green skin.

You listen as she talks about her latest breakthroughs, while Selena makes eyes at a waiter, and Harley throws back shots like they’re going out of style. One look at Barbara tells you that she’s a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but she’s got your back.

You move onto the club, and make a show of dancing with your friends. Everything is going fine until a guy can’t take no for an answer. That’s when your mother turns into a mother bear. Before you can fully understand what’s happening there are plants all over the place, Harley is swinging her bat, and Selena has disappeared. A glance at Stephanie shows that the girl is oblivious, and still dancing on the bar. Cass is popping back peanuts, and Barbara is rubbing at her head.

You get out of the club before the police show up, and take a taxi home. When you arrive back at home your father and your brothers are waiting. One look at the news, has them all scrambling with questions, and leaves you with a headache. Sometimes girl’s night out was more trouble than it was worth.

As a DC/DCEU fan I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

As a Wonder Woman fan I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

As a Marvel/MCU fan I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

As a Batgirl/Captain Marvel/Black Cat & Silver Sable/Gotham City Sirens (And the many more female centric superhero movies soon to come) fan I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

As a superhero movie fan I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

As a movie fan in general I’m extremely happy to see Wonder Woman doing well

Batman and Spider-Man are pretty much the same person.

Lemme tell you why


They both have estranged and crazy arch-nemesis. 

They both have cat thieves for love interests

Don’t forget giant man-lizards for enemies

They have a strong sense of morality

With Great Power…

There are more, feel free to add