the biscuit fire


Honoring Our Heroes: Woman Gives A Biscuit To A Man She Believes Is A Firefighter

The Great British Bake Off:

- Show with a bunch of bakers who also have lives (amateur?). They want to win so they can be the best baker who also has a life.
- There are 2 judges. One of them is a male judge who wants to be Simon Cowell. The other is Mary Berry, old lady extraordinare, great print jackets and cake skills.
- There are 2 hosts. They make lots of jokes about tarts/cream horns/soggy bottoms. One of them is Sue Perkins, I’d be her wife.
- This year was the best year ever. Fireman Matt/Who from Whoville made a biscuit fire engine. Tamal balanced being a sexy doctor who likes sandwiches with great bakes.
- But the best bit was Nadiya.

Nadiya from The Great British Bake Off:

- Perfect pocket size human (4ft11!!!)
- Amazing eyebrows
- Has numerous blogs/think pieces dedicated to her facial expressions
- One time she made this floating pop can and it was amazing
- Didn’t believe in herself at first but then she was like wait no I’m the best and everyone was like, yeah.
- Nadiya won.
- I cried.

after spending the weekend with my southern fam and my northern gma, i’d like to present Jack Zimmermenn Reacting to Very Southern Things.

-apple butter: “but bitty there isn’t any butter in this? why am i putting this on a biscuit?”

-colloquialisms: “shit fire and a red ass mule” or “one straw short of a hay bale” “bitty what does this mean why did you compare her to farming supplies?”

-fried apple pies: “bitty this is a whole new level of unhealthy”