Prompt: Can I have a Kirk imagine where you’re bones best friend and he takes Kirk to meet you and then y'all become really close friends? No smut or anything… just fluff?
Word Count: 899 NaNoWriMo Word Count: 5228/50,000 Warnings: Author’s Note:
Benjamin Sisko was the best captain in Starfleet history before he was even a Captain, because Captaincy Rule 1 is “Not waiting for the PADD-pushers in Command to approve something you know needs doing.” The most epically understated proof is how he utterly defeated Q. And to explain why we need to see how the other captains lost.
Picard lost. Picard lost hard and always. Picard’s entire existence was bracketed by Q from a first Encounter at Farpoint to the end of Time’s Arrow. He never escaped. He was only ever a player in Q’s games, or rather a game that Q played. We’ve already established the Q Continuum could watch whatever and whenever they went, and when Q got bored he’d come prod Picard until he got moralistic. But human notions are so far below the level of Q that Picard’s powerful speeches must have come across as cute cat videos, each getting infinitillion-plus-i views on QTube. Picard never stopped reacting so Q never stopped bullying him.
Janeway, for all her strengths, was even worse. Multiple Q chased (one of) the only Starfleet vessels in the entire Delta quadrant. Which only made it more tragic that they never fully punched through the desperately weakened fourth wall with a QPool episode allowing him to talk to the camera. Here he didn’t just dominate the vessel whenever he wanted, his appearances disrupted his own Q continuum as well, before coming back a third time with a teenage boy character. Because those always work so well on Star Trek. Once again a Starfleet captain is so much at his call and beck that she has to consider it serious tactical win when she convinces him not to have a child with her. (Which is ugh in more ways than I have time to list here, but that’s the fault of the writers instead of the characters. As if a Q couldn’t create a kid with someone just because they had a few inches of French trouser-sausage.)
But Sisko? Sisko had enough of that asshole before he ever arrived. Q appeared on DS9 once, uno, wa’, tud, a haon, (1), and never omnipotented their airlocks again entirely thanks to Sisko’s genius. Which is beautifully understated. On the surface it looks like Q was all about the Vash, and Sisko a sighingly annoyed subplot. But Q still went straight for the commander, just as he always does. The key comes in one line early on:
KIRA: What’s Q?
SISKO: A powerful and extremely unpredictable entity. I was at a Starfleet briefing on him two years ago.
Starfleet knows about the Q. Starfleet holds briefings about him as a threat to the Federation, like the Borg or Doomsday Weapons, and anyone even half-competently on the command track has to have spent a few nights wondering what they’d do should Q come into view. Sisko has passionately kicked the ass of everything from every planet, quadrant, or trans-dimensional energy plane that has ever crossed him. So why does he only sigh like a schoolteacher at Q’s antics?
Because that’s how to kick Q-ass.
Sisko has thought about this. Sisko has read past reports. Sisko has learned from Picard’s mistakes (because Picard-as-enemy was a HUGE part of early Sisko’s personality before the end of Emissary), and he absolutely refuses to indulge Q at any emotional level more extreme than “annoyed at a malfunctioning replicator” to make sure he stays “boring” in the bully’s mind. He asks for help, he ignores Q after not getting it, even when he thumps Q – one of the most satisfying Star Trek moments in existence, by the way – it’s only because that’s the most predictable and least interesting response to Q.
Q: You hit me! Picard never hit me.
SISKO: I’m not Picard.
Q: Indeed not. You’re much easier to provoke. How fortunate for me.
You can see Q decide Sisko’s not worth the bother. He only talks directly to Sisko once more, ever, and it’s to tell him exactly where the problem is. He’s given up. He’s bored. He’s leaving. He disappears out of Sisko’s life in a flash of light, and the final score is Q-nil.
Because Sisko wins.
And even though it was the galaxy’s first full-contact feint, pretending to be unimaginative in order to creatively dispose of an all-powerful threat, let’s enjoy those punches again.