the best part is even though they say they're best friends instead of boy friends

Use The Spare Bedroom

Summary: Phil starts bringing boys home. Dan starts tweeting song lyrics. 

Word Count: 3436

A/N: List of songs referenced at the end. 

It started one Friday night. Dan was sprawled out on the couch. Laptop up and open to tumblr. He was settled for the night.

Then Phil came out of his room. He was in black jeans and a button up shirt.

‘I’m going out with some friends from uni.’ He announced.

'Oh.’ Dan took a few moments to process the information. 'Since when?’

'About forty-five minutes ago. I got a message and I thought why not?’

'Why not.’ Dan echoed.

'So… I’m not sure how late we’ll be out. Don’t wait up for me.’


Dan didn’t normally get to bed until about 2am on a normal night. He sort of thought he would see Phil come in before he headed off to retire for the night. But at 1.30am when he was heading off there was still no sign of Phil whatsoever.

He was woken up at 3am to the sound of a door slamming.

'Sshh.’ Followed by a giggle. 'My roommate is asleep.’

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  • Farkle: Maya, what's going on with you? You've been really quiet and distant.
  • Maya: Farkle, what's going on with you? You've been really quiet and distant.
  • Farkle: No, I haven't.
  • Maya: Well neither am I.
  • Farkle: Why are you avoiding Riley?
  • Maya: Why are you avoiding Riley?
  • Farkle: What are you talking about? I've been by her side the entire time.
  • Maya: And so have I.
  • Farkle: Why are you hiding your feelings from her?
  • Maya: Why are you hiding your feelings from her?
  • Farkle: Stop That!
  • Maya: Then stop with the questions!
  • Farkle: You tell her yourself or I will.
  • Maya: What about you? When are you going to confess your feelings?
  • Farkle: This isn't about me! It's about-
  • Maya: This is about you! If you care about me, go tell Riley you love her!
  • Farkle: I care about you and if you care about me, YOU go tell Riley you love her!
  • Maya: Stop putting this on me, Minkus!
  • Farkle: You're the one who keeps repeating everything I say!
  • Maya: Well, why should you tell me what to do and give me advice if you won't even live up to it yourself, huh?
  • Farkle: Fine, I'm in love with Riley. There. Are you happy? Now your turn.
  • Maya: I'm in love with Riley Matthews, my best friend.
  • Farkle: Our best friend.
  • Maya: What are we going to do?
  • Farkle: I'm not sure. All these feeling are-
  • Maya: They're not new.
  • Farkle: What?
  • Maya: We've both been in love with her since the beginning. We just reused to acknowledge it so we suppressed it until we exploded.
  • Farkle: So now we know how we feel. But Riley, we don't know how she feels.
  • Maya: Yeah, we do. She likes Lucas. It's always been Lucas for her. You said so yourself that she's still in like with him and now, they're dating. Isn't that just great?
  • Farkle: She's in like with him, that's only for now. Lucas is her first boyfriend. We don't know how long that's going to last, we're her best friends. We've been together for years. She loves us. It all just comes down to who she's in love with?
  • Maya: Looks like you're not as good as your promise.
  • Farkle: Huh?
  • Maya: You promised to love us both the same, but you chose Riley. You've always chosen Riley.
  • Farkle: So have you. You were in a triangle and even though Lucas and Riley picked each other, even though you never had feelings for Lucas like that. All this time you've been protecting Riley and wanting to make sure Lucas could pursue her happiness. You always choose Riley's happiness over your own.
  • Maya: She's Riley Matthews. A literal ray of sunshine, she deserves everything good in this world. Of course, her happiness matters more than my own because she deserves it more than me.
  • Farkle: But Maya, you can't keep putting someone else's happiness before your own.
  • Maya: I could say the same to you. It feels like being broken from the inside.
  • Farkle: Why though? We let her walk away and we're left feeling empty.
  • Maya: Because we leave pieces of ourselves in the people that we love.
  • Farkle: How do you get them back?
  • Maya: You don't. The only way to fill in the cracks is for people to trust you with their given pieces. I think that's how it works.
  • Farkle: You have me. Feel free to use me as you see fit, remember?
  • Maya: It might be different this time, but thanks Farkle. You have me too.
  • Farkle: What about Lucas?
  • Maya: What about him?
  • Farkle: What do you think about him?
  • Maya: Same as always, he's still a Huckleberry and sometimes I want to hurt him, but he's my friend and Riley's boyfriend so it's not like I can do anything about it. What about you?
  • Farkle: He's a Freak Face! But he's our friend and if there's one thing we have in common with him is that we want Riley to be happy.
  • Maya: I told Lucas to go tell Riley that he loved her at the Ski Lodge and he didn't do it.
  • Farkle: Yeah, but we told her we loved her ever since we all met. He's new at this, give him time.
  • Maya: Except it's different now. If one of us ever confess, how do you suggest we tell her we love her in a different way?
  • Farkle: You're an artist, you could express your feelings to her in that way. Me, I'm not entirely sure how I go about-
  • Maya: Creatively. Creativity feeds science, science feeds creativity. You're a genius, you're a real boy, not a robot. Feelings are stronger than science. For you, that can be overwhelming, but science doesn't always explain people. Sometimes you have to feel what you need to feel and that's the truth. The truth is always the best thing and it comes out one way or another, so no matter how long we keep this a secret from Riley, she's going to find out. I don't know how, but she will.
  • Farkle: So shouldn't we tell her ourselves instead of waiting for the universe to explode and give away our secret?
  • Maya: You're right. But knowing and accepting this new part of me is hard. If I tell her, the world we once known could change. Nature changes. People change. The three of you are my safe place and if Riley leaves...
  • Farkle: She won't. Because she loves you, she always have.
  • Maya: She's always loved you too. She may not say it as much when you're around, but she appreciates you for a lot of reasons.
  • Farkle: I guess this makes us a broken duo?
  • Maya: You just have to own it, then it won't make you feel so bad. We're perfect imperfections.
  • Farkle: Life as we know it is changing, Maya.
  • Maya: Scared?
  • Farkle: I don't know just yet, you?
  • Maya: I don't know. I don't know if I got her anymore.
  • Farkle: Me either, but you're Pluto. I don't think she'll ever stop believing in Pluto, in you.
  • Maya: And if she does, promise me one thing.
  • Farkle: What?
  • Maya: That you two both do your thing. Both of you go get in a rocket ship and become the first couple to ever be on Mars.
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Okay guys.

If nothing else, you AT LEAST have to admit to how great it is that The Looney Tunes Show makes all of ZERO attempts to hide Mac & Tosh’s relationship with each other. I mean come on.

Also, the dance break part kills me every time I hear this. :D


“I’ll be Leia,” Skye decides, pulling the pewter piece from the box.

Grant nods astutely.  “I’ll be Han,” he says. 

John looks in the box.  “They don’t have Han, kiddo,” John says.  “They have Luke!”  He holds up the piece, and Grant gives the most disgusted face an eight-year-old can muster.

“I have to be Han,” Grant says.

“What’s wrong with Luke?” John asks.  “You like Luke!”

Grant looks at Skye, who is playing happily with her figurine on the board.  “But he’s not Han.”

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