the best kind of like

anonymous asked:

yo,, hit me up with them sweet sweet jared x reader headcanons

u asked for it BETCh i love my meme boy

(these aren’t laid out like normal headcanons i know but i’m not even sure if they are headcanons?? they’re kinda just big chunky paragraphs what i think dating jared is like,, also i’m p sure all the readers pronouns are gender neutral ! correct me if i’m wrong :) )

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“Sickman,” Alice in Chains

I can feel the wheel, but I can’t steer
When my thoughts become my biggest fear
Ah, what’s the difference, I’ll die
In this sick world of mine

important things to remember

  • three houses stood between harry potter and pansy parkinson
  • mr & mrs weasley fought the battle of hogwarts without knowing where ron was
  • harry was so caught up in battle prep he forgot about the horcrux thing
  • neville & his herbology buddies threw mandrakes @ death eaters 
  • then neville used venomous tentacula to ensnare them
  • sir cadogan being IN HIS ELEMENT and rushing from painting to painting shouting encouragement @ people
  • mrs norris hissed & batted at owls
  • firenze showed up to fight 
  • poor hermit bewildered alberforth dealt w/ literally hundreds of people passing in & out of his house & then came to fight when he realized what was happening
  • slughorn finally decided his loyalties
  • ron: “so what’s new with you?”
  • colin creevy snuck back in after the evacuation
  • ron went after the basilisk fangs & remembered parseltongue to get them
  • hermione’s quick thinking w/ that slide literally saved their lives
  • mrs augusta longbottom put on her hat before she came to see what the what was up @ hogwarts
  • even the Headless Hunt people showed up
  • all the portraits encouraged ppl
  • instead of grieving in the great hall, ginny went outside, probably to be alone, and found it in herself to comfort a scared, lost girl whimpering for her motherneville & wood gathering the dead
  • professor trelawney throwing crystal balls down @ people
  • percy cursed the minister of magic & cracked a joke
  • minerva in her tartan dressing gown w/ a flock of galloping desks trailing behind
  • peeves dropped snargaluff pods onto death eaters so they were covered in wriggling, fat green worms
  • a dying snape was still with it enough to give harry those memories
  • He is dead!
  • mcgonagall’s scream
  • He beat you!
  • neville charged voldemort and mouthed off to him & slayed tf out of that snake
  • hagrid had his bro carry him from the cave to hogwarts, got shoved through a window, got carried away by giant spiders, and sobbed & carried dead harry all the way back to hogwarts
  • the rest of the centaurs, everyone & their mom, the threstrals, and even buckbeak came to fight
  • kreacher leading all the house elves w/ carving knives & cleavers stabbing & hacking @ death eaters
  • Not my daughter, you bitch!
  • harry literally waited until the opportune moment to reveal himself & it was so dramatic. bless him, sirius would’ve been so proud.
  • harry tried to get voldy to try remorse and redeem himself
  • ppl throwing food out the window into grawp’s mouth
  • blessed luna saw that harry was exhausted & distracted ppl so he could get out of the great hall
  • peeves immediately made up a verse about moldy voldy
  • harry: i’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime. *immediately joins the aurors*
I love deep talks. Like, hell yeah, tell me about why you’d prefer to talk to your mom rather than your dad. Tell me about your favourite lyrics in the songs you listen to everyday and why they’re your favourite. Tell me about the dog you had when you were growing up and how he was your best friend. Tell me about what kind of books you like to read when you’re alone in your room. Tell me about the things you think about right before you fall asleep. Tell me anything and everything.
so 12 yr old me was obsessed with the variability of robin hood's mythos (but mostly marian)

Let’s talk about the times Robin survives Marian, when she is the fair memory who haunts him all his days, the wild eyes he learns to live without, the part of his heart he teaches to heal;

And the times Marian survives Robin, when she stands at the firelight’s edge and looks over these brave men, these few and merry men, and says with the even, carrying voice that she did not learn from Robin, this is not the end of us.

There are a hundred ways to fall in love and Marian and Robin have fallen into each of them. A shepherdess and a yeoman, a feisty noble daughter and an estranged noble son—she has fallen for his wit, his bravery, his chin; he for her skill, her beauty, her kindnesses. No matter how many arrows she loses or witticisms she drops at the audience’s feet, Marian will always be a lover.

Marian the shepherdess, with her loyal sheep dog and her loyal Robin, a Marian who understands being hungry, who understands patience and how to find a lost ewe, who knows the hills of Nottingham better than the sheriff or the outlaw and delights in outwitting them both.

Marian the archer, the way she held competition between her teeth til it begged for mercy; or the single daughter of a destitute house, who took up poaching in the king’s wood and knows the meaning of silence but somehow, despite it all, falls for a brash youth with a big mouth and a bigger heart. 

A Marian who fights; or a Marian who sews and listens and whispers and smuggles out who and what Robin needs; a Marian who gets lost in the woods, who gets held up on the road or who gets suspicious in the market when rough men trade silver for bread and cloth; a Marian who is the heart of their cause and the head of their crimes.

They call her a lover so let’s call her a lover.

Let’s tell stories about the first time Marian falls asleep on hard ground beside the wheezy snores of Sherwood’s outlaws and feels safe, feels wanted, feels like she’s come home. They build something out in those woods with deer hides that are theirs only by right of aim and speed and skill, with the gold of fat rich men, and with the thanks of poor farmers whose children will eat decently five days a week instead of two.

Let’s talk about her love. Let’s talk about how she falls in love with this.

The runaway daughters, the girls hidden in boys’ clothing, in boys’ names, in boys’ bodies—Marian takes them aside when she can and whittles them bows to suit each of their strengths.

When a youth with skinned knees and tightly bound breasts weeps with rage when she can’t keep up with Robin’s combat practices, Marian tells her here’s how you fight when your center lives in your belly and not under your breastbone. Trust your legs, child. Trust your center. Yours is a different strength, not a lesser one.

Soon enough the girl is flipping boys over her hip while she stands with slightly bent knees, and Marian is making money hand over fist, betting against her opponents.

Let’s talk about how many ways there are to fall in love. Let’s talk about how the love of one man as a life’s calling is not a story I am interested in telling.

The outlaws were her children, her flock, her brothers and her right-hand men. They held each others’ secrets and each others’ lives in their callused palms and kept them safe.

Let’s talk about getting lost in the woods: Marian the shopkeeper’s daughter getting lost at fifteen, the first time she ran away from home, getting lost in the dark, the creep and tangle of it, and making it back long after moonrise by way of her aunt’s old nursery rhyme about how moss grows on the north side of trees. (At the next full moon she runs away to the woods again. She is not afraid, or, if she is, it doesn’t matter; she is in love).

Lost: Marian, dyemaker’s daughter, walking out to the woods with all the men who came before Robin, not for them but for the woods: the trees snarling overhead, the way they make her feel like life is more than this, that there is mystery, there is depth, and there is distance.

Let’s talk about how she loved Robin, yes, the quiet ways she traced his jawbone with shaking fingers, the hard way they both looked at each other across the fire and knew neither of them could long survive this. Let’s talk about how she loved. Let’s call it being lost.

Robin saw her first in a market, a smithy, a crossroads, and she was beautiful, but it wasn’t until she raised her chin that he loved her (til she smiled, til she shot, til she vanished—there are a hundred ways they fell in love). 

Let’s talk about how she fell in love with herself. 

Because she did: arrows and whispers, cold nights and good liars, Robin’s hand and the men who made Sherwood their own– she fell for it all. She fell for herself most of all. 

Maybe your name is not Marian and my name is not Marian and sometimes hers is not either.

But we are all sometimes lost in the woods. We all sometimes find ourselves there, and open our eyes, open our lungs, fall in love. 

okay so I’m rewatching haikyuu

and in S1E15 I noticed this beautiful moment between Kageyama and Hinata

so Hinata starts this serious talk standing on the stairs just like the first time they met

saying he will defeat Kageyama “even if it will take 10 or 20 years!”

then Kageyama “this means you will play on my same court in the future”


And damn. If that’s not a proposal then I don’t know what it is

But seriously. Hinata unintentionally said “we’re going to stay together for a lot of time” and Kageyama is just “wait what?”


so he starts to ask things like “you will play with me even if we’re on the best court of Japan.. or the world?”

(you know, just to make sure. I think he can’t really accept the fact that someone wants to stay by his side and play with him even in ten years)

and the best thing is that when he’s waiting for a response he looks at Hinata like this

He looks so freaking focused like from Hinata’s response it depends his life I mean

Hinata says “it’s obvious!”

And Tobio typically holds his head scolding him because he has to cover up his happiness with something.

I really think Kageyama was so damn happy in this moment. During middle school he got used to the fact that no one would stay by his side due to his “king” behavior. But now he met Hinata, this boy really never stops surprising him with how honest he is.

if you love me LET ME

GOOOOO

All Leading Up to This

Our Tiefling Bard is known for doing things unconventionally. Be it the reason we are in combat or the reason we got out. Be it teaching goblins the language of music. Be it tackling literally every big bad and SOMEHOW succeeding in pinning each one to the ground. Be it for stopping a Beholder in its tracks with a bottle of Gut-Buster tossed into its gaping maw.

She has a plan for everything, but we never really knew how far until recently.

So backstory: Our Bard and Cleric were honorary members of a guild that was known for being very lawful because they had saved one of its members from certain doom. But, in a heroic display of vigilantism with their other party members against a power-hungry lord our Bard had a personal vendetta against, they had ruined a sting operation set up by this guild that had been years in the making. Now they just had one night to take this lord down before he fled the city at a very public party for his son. 

DM as Guild Leader: “I should strip the two of you of your titles for this. We were so close to exposing him for the cruelty he has inflicted on the people of this city but in ONE NIGHT YOU MANAGED TO RUIN ALL OF IT!”

Bard: “And how did we ruin anything? We cleared out that bastard’s group of ruffians and we even took some alive to confess!”

Guild Leader: “Ha! This is a lord we are talking about. He throws money at the guards and those confessions become desperate lies to avoid the gallows. And besides, by tomorrow he and his family will have left the town until this blows over.”

Cleric: “So we get him tonight.”

Guild Master: “Not possible. They are hosting a public party for his son tonight. Invitation only. Not only that, but your shenanigans today have likely doubled the guard.”

Ranger: “So what we need is stealth.”

Bard: “No… What we need are more shenanigans.”

The party goes back to the bakery in town our bard had purchased some time ago for extra coin. She had even taken points into the Cook profession to increase profits. Once there, she uses the Clothier’s Closet spell and creates some clothes from a diamond she had. One is a noble outfit for herself and the rest are cook’s outfits.

She and her workers manage to create a very large cake with a hollow middle. The ranger and cleric got inside the cake, dressed as cooks and holding the gear we would need. Our Bard posed as the boss and our Elven Dragon Shaman (Who had maxed out Intimidation) would be her assistant.

The plan would be our Bard would pose as the owner of a fledgling service that delivered dancing women in cakes hired by either the lord or by a friend of his son. Upon encountering the guard at the gate, she managed to play her part well, insisting that she accompany the cake inside so that “someone doesn’t take a fancy to these bimbos and I lose profits for nine months.” Miraculously, they make it inside and are left alone in a room.

Dragon Shaman: “I can’t believe that worked.”

Bard: “Why wouldn’t it? Best kind of stealth is going in like you are supposed to be there.”

The Bard changes into her Noble outfit to infiltrate the guests and the Ranger notices something.

Ranger: “Wait a minute. You made enough cook’s outfits for everyone.”

Bard: “I did.”

Ranger: “So then why did we have to pretend to be strippers inside a cake?!”

The Bard sighs and says: “Look. I did not just spend about 120 gold setting this up to NOT see two beautiful women emerge from a giant cake!”

DM: “You know what *Bard’s Name*? Go ahead and gain 100XP for this. All of this. Just… How long have you been planning this?”

The Bard OOC: “Since I bought the bakery.”

This was 8 months ago.

Fake Chats #151
  • Jimin: my hands are so small.
  • Jungkook: small and cute.
  • Jimin: I wish they were a little but bigger.
  • Taehyung: I don't.
  • Jimin: it makes holding onto stuff harder.
  • Hoseok: but they fit into our hands perfectly.
  • Jimin: they're like baby hands and I'm not a baby.
  • Yoongi: you're the best kind of baby, our baby.
  • Jimin: I don't like that it's so noticeable.
  • Namjoon: most people look at your mochi face anyway.
  • Jimin: it definitely doesn't help with my mochi vibe.
  • Seokjin: you don't like your mochi vibe? Everyone loves your mochi vibe.
  • Jimin: my hands...
  • Jungkook: are smol and we love them, so you should too.
  • Jimin: why do you get to be a giant baby and I have to be the tiny hyung?
  • Jungkook: because it's adorable, so just deal with it. See? Our hands fit so nicely. And your head can lean on my shoulder. It's nice.
  • Jimin: okay.
  • BTS:
  • Yoongi: I'm small too.
  • Hoseok: and you're adorable too.