The Secrets Between Us | Min Yoongi
Min Yoongi x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: drug use
Synopsis: It was the best high of your life, but reality brought you crashing down.
Bang! Bang! Bang! You woke up in a panic from the sound of someone banging on your door. You looked at the clock and noticed you slept in until 12 in the afternoon. Why had you slept so long? And why is last night a blur? After another two hits on your door you got up and made your way to the door quickly and opened it to see your ex-best friend Kim Taehyung. You hadn’t spoke in weeks when he found you in your apartment on a two day high that happened when you took so many pills that you strung yourself out for days. It was the best high of your life, but because of it your life came crashing down faster than ever. He had kept his distance after that and you couldn’t really blame him. If you could’ve gotten away from yourself at that point you definitely would have. You shook the memory out of your head and cleared your throat, “What are you doing here Taehyung? I thought we weren’t on speaking terms.” He nodded his head and a small shrug made him seem taller than before. Had he grown since the last you saw him? “I just came to check on you. Make sure you didn’t kill yourself with whatever poison you decided on this week.” You felt the jab from that and you knew you deserved it. “Okay well I’m not. You can leave me alone now.” You attempted to move back into your apartment, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him staring intently. “What?” His eyes went back and forth between both of your own. “You took something didn’t you?” You ripped your arm from his grasp, and as you did you stumbled over your own feet. Not that that is very unusual for you but you felt off yourself. “I didn’t take anything. I’m clean, just clumsy.” He of course didn’t believe you and checked you over until he found something he hadn’t intended to find. A puncture hole in your forearm. You both just stared at it in disbelief for a second before your memory of last night slowly became clearer to you. You had sent a message to your old dealer and asked if he would meet you. You only wanted to get some pills but he had convinced you to get something stronger, and you did. When you got home you shot up and the rest is a memory that you refuse to remember. You looked up to Taehyung and tried to explain yourself, “Tae I can explain.” He scoffed and shook his head and pushed you back into your apartment causing you to fall and look up at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. “I thought you were actually getting better. I thought those meetings were going well. I thought you changed, but you’re still the same junkie as you have always been.” He shook his head in disgust and left you there with tears streaming down your face and you screaming after him to come back. You couldn’t find it in yourself to go after him because he was right, you were a junkie and you were getting better but something caused you to relapse and you had to do better. What were you going to do though? You didn’t have any talents or any inclination to go through a million things to find just one.
After you pondering what you were going to do you pulled yourself off of the floor and got dressed semi-decently and left your apartment. You didn’t know where you were talking to, but you didn’t care at this point you just wanted away. You walked for so long it felt like until you ended up at the park and sat on a bench and watched a few kids play soccer. You don’t know how long you watched them but you were just so fascinated by the way their feet gracefully and forcefully moved across the field. They knew exactly what to do all the time and they played ever single game with such certainty of winning and they were having fun too. You wanted that, that joy. That huge smile when you kick the ball perfectly into the goal. That feeling of pure joy when you do. Soccer or sports in general as a drug in and of itself. You get a high (adrenaline rush) as you play, the high continues to happen as you play, and if you win you are overjoyed and happy and if you lose you come down from your high and are crashing (losing the adrenaline). All in all soccer seemed like the perfect distraction for you. Only problem was is that you had no idea how to play the sport. You get up from your spot and head to the store to get yourself the stuff you needed with what money you had on you. As you walked back home you avoided every street that you knew had a bar on it and as you walked up the stairs to your apartment you gave yourself a pat on the back for doing those two small things today. Although they might seem miniscule to someone else to you they were a huge leap for you. You could only hope that you could take this journey in leaps and bounds.
Waking up the next day you were greeted with the bright sun streaming through the cracks in your crappy curtains. You rubbed your eyes and sat up in your bed looking around and knew right then that you had to get rid of all the things that could make you relapse again. You leaped into action and grabbed all the alcohol first and poured it down the sink. Next, you grabbed whatever pills you had left and flushed them down the toilet. Finally, you threw away everything else that was able to send you into a mild high and even threw your phone in the trash away. Sure you could have blocked or deleted the dealers numbers from it, but that phone was too much of a temptation. After seperating yourself from the problem you could feel the urge start to creep up in your mind, but you fought it. You had to. Surviving was more important to you than any drug out there. After you threw everything that could possibly send you spiraling downwards in the trash you thought about how you were going to go about this because this as going to be the hardest thing you’ve had to do in a while. You knew you had soccer to start off with but knew that you were going to have to get more hobbies as time went along because doing just one thing could get boring. So you went out to find more activities, but with no such luck you didn’t find another thing to do other than trying to get hired on at the local supermarket. You couldn’t apply yet though because you still had the drugs in your system and they wouldn’t hire someone that shot up only a day ago. So deciding to hold off on that you remembered the meetings that you were definitely going to now and will probably pay attention to the mentor, even if you didn’t like her that much. Sitting on the buses you went over what your last mentor said, “Give everyone a chance to make a difference in your life even if it hurts you.” At the time it seemed like the dumbest thing he could have ever said to your group, but he was right. It doesn’t matter if someone hurts you because they’re just trying to help you. At least that’s what you took from what he said, and you wished in that moment you could call him and as for his help but you weren’t his problem anymore so you couldn’t. You also couldn’t because you threw your phone out, stupid idea. Walking off the bus you quickly made your way to the metro so that you didn’t miss your train because if you did you would have to pay for a taxi and you didn’t want to. Luckily you made it there just in the knick of time and caught your breath on the train and tried to think of what you could possibly go over today. Probably just the normal things: introductions, why you’re an addict, what your form of ‘poison’ is, and what you’re doing to overcome it. The train ride seemed to go by faster than normal, but you didn’t mind you wanted to get off anyways there was a guy that smelled like old sandwiches on there. You made a quick dash for the door when they opened and headed to the meeting place enjoying the fresh air as you walked it helped you clear your head of the bad things. As you opened the old creaking door you noticed that you were able to actually get there on time despite not knowing the time. You sat in the same seat as last time.
“Okay everyone let’s begin.”