the behind in all its glory


Want to get a sneak peak at a groundbreaking new show? Here it is in all its glory: an adaption featuring a female Holmes and Watson. It’s truly a work of art, something that anybody who enjoys well-written mysteries and characters can get behind. Want to keep tabs on this up and coming production? Follow @2213-tv on Tumblr to stay updated!

((thank you @mindonaledge for writing this lovely promo for me!!!!))

on #unfairandlovely

I went to visit my cousin in Baltimore awhile back. She’s from Bangladesh and she’s absolutely beautiful. I was a west coast girl living in DC for a few months so it seemed only right to visit family out there. She invited me over for the holidays, made me food, took me to an Indian-Pakistani store to get me those little easy to fry samosas I love so much. She wanted me to feel right at home, miles away from California. As we reached the cash register, she pointed upwards towards the shelves behind the counter. 

“Give me three tubes, please.”

The man at the counter handed her three medium sized fair and lovely boxes, all pink and white in all its glory. My cousin put all three into the bag with my samosas, smiled and said they were a gift from her. Charming. 

I’m from California. Big yellow sun, outside schools and shopping centers. I like to lay on the ground and have the warmth of it hit my back California. I’m not a huge fan of the heat, but I mean I certainly can’t avoid it. You ever been to Shaw’s Cove in Laguna beach? Stood at the edge of the underwater cliff, watching as each wave almost tucks you under the ocean floor, rolled in the sand until you look like tempura shrimp, skin golden and toasty underneath the grain? It’s a dream.

It’s also exactly the thing I was told to avoid as a child. As a teenager. Now. Don’t go outside too much, wear a hat, take an umbrella, even as a far as wear gloves when you drive so your hands don’t get darker while they’re on the steering wheel. When the first Indian female surfer started surfing, everyone told her that she’ll get too dark. Personal opinion: It’s one thing to cover up for modesty, in fear of skin cancer, to avoid sunburns, etc. but the concept of teaching young girls to stay out of the sun in fear of getting too dark is not only degrading to dark skinned people of color, of any race, but shaming girls into believing there is something wrong with how their body naturally looks, how it naturally develops melanin in outside world. It also keeps girls from outside for the sake of being beautiful usually to make sure she gets a proper husband. A husband that wouldn’t marry a dark girl. See what I mean? It’s a continuous cycle of dark shaming. Perpetuating colorism. It creates families that value lighter skin colors, communities that believe that skin color defines beauty, and that beauty defines a girl’s ability to get married to a proper household, which ultimately defines her success in life as a wife and a mother. 

When I came back from a winter in DC, my skin was very light. “You look so good!” When I’m in California, getting dark is hard to avoid. It took me years to develop confidence in my skin. I knew it was wrong to be afraid of the darkness of my skin, that I won’t be a pretty. But here I am in my twenties able to confront and accept and believe that this is everything I am, whatever shade of brown the world gives me is a story of where I’ve been. It’s a history of swimming in the summer, tan lines from the outings, that russet red brown from hikes up the mountains. It shows the warmth the earth gives me. I know that kind of skin-loving, self confidence in one’s darkness that doesn’t come for many girls. For the one’s constantly being reprimanded for not being pretty enough, not being light enough. 

We are girls of the sun. Your mother’s womb had a glow. You are the face of the earth, of elegance, of beauty. Skin shaming doesn’t end with dark skinned girls. I’ve seen girls destroy their skin with bad tanning lotions because they were “too pale.” “Blinding.” It never ends. The world wants us to be a perfect vanilla caramel, but the girls of the world aren’t coffee and don’t give a shit about your close-minded taste in women. 



I couldn’t wait for my jpeg, so here’s my beautiful Cockles Op in all its glory!

I was one of the first few people in line for this one, we were behind a few people finishing up the J2 M2 “orgy” ops (so got to see all four of them messing around together in the room before Jared and Mark left, Jared kept tickling Mark and a couple fans as he does, and a handler was trying to discipline him but also couldn’t help but laugh either. They were all smiles and in great moods. While I was in line, Jensen made eye contact with me a few times as I was approaching closer (🙃) Once it was my turn, I said hey and he looks me in the eyes and smiles and says “Hey Sweetheart” in that signature Dean tone of voice which was probably one of the best things ever, and then he noticed my Dean jacket and he reached out and grabbed the collar and was feeling it and he said “Nice jacket!” in an impressed/excitable tone which made my entire life tbh, I was really hoping he’d notice it, and I went through a hell of a time to get that jacket (it’s 100% real leather) and I distressed it myself and everything, so having him acknowledge and compliment it was all I needed. I can die now. I then told him and Misha what I wanted, (usually I don’t go for the generic ops but in this case I had to make an exception) and they definitely didn’t disappoint. Misha grabbed me right away like he did last time and Jensen was more gentle lol. I thanked them and I think I left a piece of my soul in that room after I left.

I’d say Chicon 2016 was very successful. 👌🏼

Modality + Element: Meditations - Water

Cardinal +Water = Cancer
The tides washing away your sand castles leaving behind trinkets from the sea.
The tears you can’t stop, they’re just coming.
The sweat pouring from your scalp because you are all worked up.
The water from the faucet that cools your face.
The milk from a mothers breast carrying God’s love to her child

Fixed + Water = Scorpio
The unmoving lake that looks so still and calm but hides the most fascinating and peculiar mysteries in its immeasurable depths.  
Rock solid ice that lives all its glory in the most uncomfortable coldness, yet one breath from another begins to melt it.

Mutable + Water = Pisces
The wide vast ocean and all its organisms, filtered through a fresh water stream, irrigated to a well, scooped up in a bucket, drank from a glass, exchanged in a kiss carrying the memory of eternity


Want to see how the toys really came to life? Peep the Irresistible behind the scenes video featuring interviews from Demi Lovato, Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick here

Then go rewatch the video in all of its glory. 


SONG: Central Park - Union J

(Author’s Note: Would you want me to continue doing Song-Themed One Shots? I had a bit of fun writing this one… It was a different style to what I usually do. I’d love to know what you though.) xx

- - - -

Staring down an endless avenue
There’s sunlight sending out the end of June 

Harry sat on the bench inside the field, with the park behind him full of young families who had taken their children out. The sun was beaming down in all its glory, with no clouds in sight to stop the heat from reaching him. His legs were stretched out on front of him, his ankles crossing as the heels of his boots dug into the grass beneath him. His eyes were looking straight ahead of him, down the avenue directly opposite him. It was empty, and seemed to go on forever. He knew the road off by heart; he spent the majority of his elder life walking up and down the paths leading the house located as the second house up on the right hand side.

You lived there. He spent the most of his elder teenage life in that home, with you. He’d helped you move in, and he’d even helped in paying for the rent. It was like he lived there, with you. He’s was everything you could ever imagine as a housemate, a best friend, and a boyfriend. Ever since he’d grown famous, he always made sure to stay there when he had time off. It just meant that he got to spend time with you, without having to go home to his small flat in the centre of London. He could spend the nights cuddled up with you, his arms wrapping tightly round you. His nose would be buried deep into your hair, his lips pressed to the skin behind your ear.

He endlessly whispered sweet nothings into your ear, his breath warm on your cheek as the dull and dreary morning filled the room with a cold atmosphere. His legs would be entwined with yours, and his bare chest was like a heater to your back. You could feel him breathing, his chest rising and falling as he breathed heavily through his lips. Your bedroom was cold, but he always made sure to keep you warm. Whether it be cuddling close to you, or handing you the jumper he’d worn the night before. He’d always make sure he’d pull the hood over your head, and pull at the drawstrings, making it close up around your face.

It always made you giggle. And a giggle like yours always put a big smile on his lips.

This time around something just don’t feel right
Heart shaped bubble above my head
The things I should’ve said, you never knew

As he continued to stare down the road, watching as the cars backed out of driveways and various footballs being kicked into the air, all he could think of was the times you’d spent together. He hated how the distance has torn the two of you apart, and he hated how it ended how it did. You got upset, and cried to him, and it broke his heart. He wanted it to be mutual. He didn’t want it. Of course he didn’t want it; you meant the whole world to him. He loved you, and he tried so hard to keep the relationship alight.

He listened as you cried and vented out to him, his arms holding you tightly as you cried into his chest. Your hands were fisting at the shirt covering his torso, your mascara running down your cheeks and staining the white material. His heart was aching. His chest was tightening and he felt the world was crumbling at his feet.

“You understand me, don’t you Harry? We can’t keep doing this if we’re constantly away from one another. I feel I never see you anymore, and it’s not fair to either of us” You whispered, as he squeezed you to his chest. Your body was sat on his lap, sideways to your side was braced against his belly and chest. “It’s unfair to you, because you have a girlfriend here who can’t make time to come and see you. You only see me for a few weeks a year, and it’s not fair to you. You need a girlfriend who can travel with you” You added, as he felt his bottom lip tremble.

“I wish we didn’t get torn apart from the distance. This is killing me. I hate leaving you behind” He sighed, his breath wavering and his chest tightening even more. “I love you, you know that? And there is a saying that if you love someone, you got to let them go. This isn’t fair to you, either. I know” He stated, as he pressed a kiss to your salty-tear-stained cheek. “I love you so much, (Y/N). But, I can’t keep doing this to you either. I’m always away, and you never see me. If we stop a relationship, and go back to friends, then it won’t be so difficult to leave one another” He suggested, as you looked to him. His eyes were dewy and red rimmed; it was breaking him, and you had no idea.

“Is this it then?” You wondered, as he ran his thumbs under your eyes to wipe the tears building up and dripping down your cheeks. “Are we no longer boyfriend and girlfriend?” You whisper, your voice catching. He shook his head, but he wished he didn’t. He wished he fought for you. He wished he told you he wanted to keep you. He wanted to tell you that you meant the whole world to him, and that he would do anything it took to keep you as his one and only.

But he couldn’t take you through the pain.

He didn’t want you to feel so heartbroken because of him. It hurt him to know that he was the cause of some heartache in the relationship, and he couldn’t give you more.

That was 3 months back, before he left for the newest leg of the tour. He wondered if you were home. He wondered if he should follow what his legs wanted and walk to your home, and pull you into his arms and kiss you so hard to remind you he hadn’t stopped loving you. He wanted to hug you so tightly and never let you go, in fear of losing you again. He couldn’t help the common thought of another man blessing your life. Were you with someone else? A guy who could give you everything? One you would see every day? Hug every day? Kiss every day? It haunted him.

He wanted to be the one to see you every day. He wanted to be the one to give you everything. He wanted to be the one to kiss you every day. He wanted to marry you. He didn’t care about the lead up. He wanted you to be his. He wanted you to be Mrs Styles.

Mrs H. Styles.

That’s all he wanted in life.

I’ll make my way back to Central Park
Trace the pieces of my broken heart
I’m chasing down a fallen star to where you are
I’m held together by your memory
Baby won’t you just come back to me?
I’ll trace the pieces of my broken heart
Back to Central Park

His gloved hand was holding onto yours tightly; your fingers cold and no doubtedly numb. The snow was falling around you, the flakes large yet soft as you made your way around Times Square in Manhattan. His hair was collecting snowflakes on the tips showing from under the beanie on his head. It was 2012, New Year’s Eve. He made a pact at the beginning of the year, to take you to New York for the big firework display in Central Park. He’d brought his family along, as well as you and your family, so you could bring in the New Year together. His mum, Gemma and your mum had already made their way to Central Park, in order to get a good spot. Robin and your father had stayed at the hotel to watch the ball drop from the hotel room. You and Harry were taking a trek around Times Square, taking in the incredible atmosphere before you made your way to the Subway station for get to Central Park.

“I think this should be a tradition. We could bring our kids out here when we get married and have a family. We could see the ball drop and then have hot dogs and cuddle in the hotel room” Harry grinned, as he squeezed your hand tightly. You’d never seen the cuter side to the 18 year old, and it made you feel all fuzzy when he spoke about the future. Especially since you were situated somewhere in his future dreams. “How great would that be? They could take that tradition onto their families, and then they would pass it on, and it could keep going as the traditional Styles tradition” He grinned, his teeth shining under the lights of the huge screens lighting up Times Square.

“You want to marry me then, hmm? And have babies?” You grinned, nudging him lightly as you made your way to the small coffee shop that was near abandoned at the back of the whole fiasco of the street.  He nodded shyly as he pushed the door open to the shop, the bell ringing above you as he held the door for you to walk in. “You’re so adorable, H. God, this is why I love you” You giggled, as he stepped into the warmth of the aroma filled shop.

“We’ve been together for a year now. More than a year. Nearing two years, you know?” He grinned, as he pulled a chair from the small table beside the window. “The thought has come across my mind every once in a while. It makes me want it more than anything” He smiled, as he shrugged his black coat off, the snowflakes melting under the heat of the lights above you. “Obviously not yet, babe, as we’re only 18. But, I’m going to marry you, and we’re going to have babies that are just the cutest little babies ever” He grinned, as he placed the coat over the back of the chair. “What would you like, my love? Cake? Panini? Shortcake?” He wondered, as he leant over and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll just have half of the panini you get and a hot chocolate” You grinned, as he nodded. “I’m not that hungry at the moment. I’ll probably eat when we get back to the hotel room. If you don’t mind me ordering room service” You grinned, as he chuckled softly.

“Of course not, my love.”

You burn onto my mind like a tattoo

Just the memory alone was imprinted on his brain. It was his favourite memory; sitting in the coffee shop, sharing his panini and gossiping away about nothing at all interesting. You took photos, selfies and cuddled tightly together. The shop was warm, and he could still imagine the smell of the shop when he thought back to it. It was permanently imprinted, and even if he tried to forget, he couldn’t. It was just there, whenever his mind was empty of nothing to think about.

Louis, Liam and Niall had always tried to help him forget the image of you. It was bringing him down, and they hated it. He wasn’t himself. He’d stay in the hotel room on their days off on tour, and he’d always be silent during song writing. You were there, on his mind, every day. And no matter what the boys tried to do, nothing worked in erasing the memories he’d had when the two of you were together.

The break-up left him lifeless. He looked dead, and his face was turning colourless. He was dressed in the same clothes, and the boys were getting worried. When he had break-ups like this under the public eye, he was completely different. He seemed so in love with them, and yet the break ups never affected him. When he broke up with you, it killed him. He felt something different with you; something no one else would feel. Something he didn’t feel for anyone else.

He just wished the tattoo on his mind was a positive tattoo imprinted on his mind. But it brought negative feelings, rather than positive, and he wished it got easier.

I got half that photograph
The Empire State above the stars
You still got yours, let’s glue them back together
And let’s stay here forever

When he arrived back to his flat, the image of the two of you was still hanging beside the mirror. You were in Central Park at the 2014 New Year in New York, when everything was happy and you felt that you were on top of the world.  Gemma had taken it, when you were sitting in the snow falling to the ground. The light snowfall making everything feel romantic and made everything look beautiful. His legs were stretched out in front of him, separated so you could settle between them. The fireworks were bright, and it made you look like you were silhouettes. Gemma made sure to have them developed so you could have one, and Harry could have one. One for your home and one for his flat.

He wondered if you still had it. Did you look at it every time you walked past it? Did your mind lapse back to that day, when everything was perfect and happy and nothing could ruin anything? He reached for the framed photo with one hand, whilst his other hand reached for the car keys in the wooden bowl.

He needed to see you. He needed to tell you he missed you. That the break up was a huge mistake. Even if he wasn’t the one who suggested it, he needed to know if you felt the same way. His knuckles were turning white from the grip he had on the frame, his thumb tensing around the wood.

I’ll trace the pieces of my broken heart
Back to Central Park
Back to Central Park 

He followed the trail of hypothetical fragments; fragments belonging to his shattered and broken heart. His knuckles knocked against the door, the dusk setting behind him as he waited patiently on the front door step. There were hanging baskets hanging from either side, and he recognised them as the ones his mother had given you both for Christmas. He remembered her bringing them round during the morning, with wrapping paper wrapped around the basket itself with the flowers blooming bright and bold. His ears perked up when he heard shuffling from the other side of the door, and he could see your figure through the small window to the side of the door.

The door creaked open, and you came into view. A gasp leaving your lips as you took him in. It’d been 3 months since you’d seen him. And he hadn’t changed a bit. He was still dressing in the whacky and unfashionable t-shirts which always made you weak at the knees when he wore them. He was standing in his jeans, with a black see-through shirt on, his tattoos showing prominently behind the material.


Harry bit his lip softly, and looked to you. His eyes looking deeply into yours as he watched your cheeks tinging pink. “(Y/N)… Hey” He whispered, as he gripped the photo in his hand. “I need answers. Do you still love me?” He whispered, with a hint of begging in his tone. “I need you to love me, (Y/N)! I miss you so much. 3 months have gone by, and you’ve been imprinted on my mind the whole time. I’ve persuaded myself to follow the trail of my broken heart, and I need you to tell me you love me. Fix my heart. Fix me. I need help” He begged, as he held the photo out in front of him. His hands shaking as you took in the image.

Of course you recognised it. It hung above the headboard in your bedroom, so you could see it before you went to bed. It was the last photo you looked at for the day, and the first photo you saw on a newly blessed day. His lips were trembling and his eyes were begging you. A plead hidden behind his green orbs.

“Harry… Why? Why now? Why do you have the need in you to keep breaking our hearts? It’s not fair. You’re always away” You whispered, as you folded your arms across your chest. The cool air hitting at your bare skin, and sending a shiver down your spine. He shrugged, and blinked quickly. Like he was trying to remove the tears that were building. “Come in…” You whispered, as he took the opportunity to step back into the place he called home.

“I just want to be with you. I’ve been sat at the park down the end of the road, looking down the road, debating whether to come over and see you. To win you back. I’ve been thinking so much, and it’s been a crazy ride of emotion. Please, tell me you miss me?” He begged, as he placed the photo on the side table, and gripped at your hands. His hands were shaking, and he gripped hold of them tightly. “I need you back, (Y/N). Baby, I love you. I should have fought for your love when you wanted to break up. We’ve be together still if I wasn’t stupid and let you go. You are my world and I can’t have a great life without you” He whispered, his voice cracking as he looked at you. Your eyes were reddening and tearing up. “I meant what I said back in 2012. I want to have a wedding with you. A big white wedding. You become Mrs Harry Styles, and we do everything together. You can come anywhere with me, and we can have babies and they’ll be adorable and look like you, and I want you in my future. I need you in my future” He cried, as his tears dribbled down his cheeks.

You listened as a heart-clenching sob left his lips. “Harry… Oh, baby” You whispered, as you hooked your arms around his neck. Your fingers dragging through the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me too. I’m here for as long as possible. I love you too, Harry. I love you so much” You whispered, as kissed along his jaw. “I’m an idiot for letting you go, and I regret it so much. I’ve not stopped loving you, Harry Styles. You’re my best friend, and my one and only and love. You’re lovely and beautiful, and I love you so much” You whispered, as he buried his face into your neck.

And at that moment, Harry knew everything was going to be okay.

If you spend too much time behind a computer, it seems like the whole world has been photographed. But once you step outside, the world starts opening up in all its weird and varied glory.
—  Alec Soth
#Cipherhunt Day 2

Ok so in case nobody was able to follow, I’ll update you all on the hunt thus far!

So the message from last night from Grunkle Stan led us to Rhode Island at the Ochre Court where the clue was hidden behind a picture. The clue, however, was taken months ago, and Alex came up with a solution.

Next up, the same number as last night gave everyone a new message that continued the hunt for everyone! The message was:

A man whose first name is his last
A statue honoring his past
Right behind him by the sign of his park
A golden head shows light in the dark

So with this, people located the next clue in Griffith Park in Florida:

This girl opened the head to reveal a bunch of pages and an invisible-ink pen, and skipping ahead, she began decoding it:

Eventually, this lead people to livestream their adventures where they found the next clue as the bird’s-eye view of the Century City:

Yep! There it is in all its glory! And so, a group livestreamed their findings when they located a flash drive:

And when they plugged in the flash drive, it played this message:

Link to message on soundcloud

So here’s the clue found at the school:

And then, someone found this gem:

Now, people are streaming to find the “key”.

okay but imagine if each of the boys hosted their own ‘stream made in the a.m. party’ type thing. like, they’d link to the album on spotify and have all of the fans listen along with them. they could do a periscope or a livestream (if we were back in the glory days), but just livetweeting would be MORE than enough. have them interject little comments or the story behind the song or thoughts they have while listening to it. just have them tweet running commentary as everyone listens along with them.

have each of them do that. have fans all over the world streaming the album four times. even if they only had 100,000 people do it, listening to the album four times - that’s 400,000 streams of the entire album. times seventeen tracks. that’s 6,800,000 streams. 4,500 equivalent albums. (if 200,000 people did it - 9,000 albums. 300,000 people - 13,600 albums. 400,000 people - 18,000 albums. 500,000 people - 22,600 albums.)

No fish eye necessary for this monster of a smith grind by Kyle Walker. Thrasher gives you a behind the scenes look of the make in the latest Magnified at

Pick up the new Thrasher Mag to see Kyle’s smith grind in all of its glossy photo glory and for more K-Walks download yourself a copy of Volcom Skate’s latest thriller, Holy Stokes!

right now you are wishing for bright eyes that will notice yours from across the room and a lap to crawl into after a very long day. you are aching for an adventure, to see the world in all its glory, to discover all the well-kept secrets its Creator left behind, to taste wonder at new tables. you are envisioning your 30th birthday and the permanent people who have entered your life and never left; at least, you hope you’ll have indelible companions by then.

but today you are 20. you are hard-headed and independent and push away every male that tries to call you more than a friend. you are tangled up in homework and class schedules. you are a messy dorm room and an anxious conversation. you are constantly praying that your friends stay this time — that you’ve chosen those with deep roots and great love.

seems to me the world turns a lot like a merry-go-round. you glide up and down on a porcelain horse at seven years old and think it’s utterly boring. at 17, you get back on one and close your eyes to try to feel seven again. the figure moves up and down the golden pole and the slow rush of wind seems oddly comforting.

at 20 you wish there was a merry-go-round somewhere nearby. you’d pay the fee just to go around in circles a few times and remember what it was like to be seven and 17. $3 isn’t much for a little perspective.