the beard series

69/100 pictures of the BAEne of my existence, christopher robert evans.

Hairstyle studies for several characters of “A Series of Unfortunate Events”: Justice Strauss, Carmelita Spats, Esmé Squalor, Uncle Monty, the man with beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard, and Kit Snicket.

Four decades of feminism later I am reading the comedian Angela Barnes’ blog. “I am ugly, and I am proud,” she writes. She goes on to say: “The fact is I don’t see people in magazines who look like me. I don’t see people like me playing the romantic lead or having a romantic life.”

At the top of the blog is a picture of Barnes. And the thing is, she isn’t ugly. Neither is she beautiful. She’s normal looking. She’s somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, just like lots of women you see every day in real life.

It made me think of this year’s Wimbledon ladies’ final between Sabine Lisicki and Marion Bartoli. When Bartoli won, the BBC commentator John Inverdale infamously said, “Do you think Bartoli’s dad told her when she was little, ‘You’re never going to be a looker, you’re never going to be a Sharapova, so you have to be scrappy and fight’?”

The first thing I thought was: this woman has just won a tennis tournament! And she’s being judged on her looks! And then I thought: but Bartoli is attractive. Sure, she’s not at the very highest point on the scale – she doesn’t look like a top model. But she’s pretty. And, in any case, why should it matter? She’s a top athlete. Surely that’s what counts.

A sports commentator refers to a pretty woman as “not a looker”. A normal-looking woman thinks she’s ugly. Why?

Because, even though the world is full of normal and pretty women, the world we see – the world of television, films, magazines and websites – is full of women who are top-of-the-scale beauties. And right now, in the second decade of the 21st century, the situation is more extreme than ever. If you’re a woman, a huge proportion of your role models are beautiful. So if you’re normal looking, you feel ugly. And if you’re merely pretty, men feel free to comment on how un-beautiful you are.

As a normal-looking man, I find myself in a completely different position. Being normal makes me feel, well, normal. Absolutely fine. As if the way I look is not an issue. That’s because it’s not an issue.

As a normal-looking man, I’m in good company. Sure, some male actors and celebrities are very good looking. Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Russell Brand.

But many of Hollywood’s leading men, like me, look like the sort of blokes you see every day, in real life. Russell Crowe, Kevin Spacey, Bruce Willis, Jack Black, Seth Rogen, Martin Freeman, Tom Hanks, Steve Carell, Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Brendan Fraser… In fact, you might almost say that most leading men are normal-looking blokes.

It’s true of television, too. Bryan Cranston, who plays the lead in Breaking Bad – he’s a normal. James Gandolfini – he was a normal. And chubby too. Kevin Whately – normal. Ben Miller – normal. TV cops all look normal. Ray Winstone looks normal. Tim Roth looks normal. They portray people who are interesting for what they do, not what they look like.

Oh, and think of sitcoms. The Big Bang Theory features four normal-looking blokes and a stunningly beautiful woman. New Girl is about two normal blokes, a guy who’s quite good looking, and two women who are… yes, strikingly beautiful.

When I watch the news, on whatever channel, it’s presented by the classic partnership of an ordinary-looking guy and a gorgeous woman. After the news, I watch the weather. Male weather presenters look like standard males. Female weather presenters look like models. Footballers look normal. Footballers’ wives and girlfriends look stunning. Daytime television presenters: men look like Phillip Schofield; women look like Holly Willoughby.

A typical Saturday-night judges’ panel consists of two types of people – middle-aged blokes and young, stunning women. Sometimes a normal-looking or ageing woman slips through the net – but then, like Arlene Phillips, her days are soon numbered.

Countdown had an attractive woman and an ageing bloke; when the attractive woman began to show signs of ageing, she was axed – replaced by a woman who was, of course, strikingly beautiful. Who presents historical documentaries? Guys like David Starkey. Normals. And what happened when a normal-looking woman, Mary Beard, presented a series about the ancient world? She was mocked for not being attractive enough.

In a recent interview Dustin Hoffman, another normal, made a revealing comment. Remember when he dressed up as a woman in Tootsie? “I went home and started crying,” he said. Why?

“Because I think I am an interesting woman when I look at myself on screen. And I know that if I met myself at a party, I would never talk to that character. Because she doesn’t fulfil physically the demands that we’re brought up to think women have to have in order to ask them out… I have been brainwashed.”

orestes-bxudelxire  asked:

Did any of the asoue characters read the asoue books? (expect kit and lemony)

That’s an excellent question, @orestes-bxudelxire. All we know is that Olaf’s allies made sure that Kit was fired from Prufrock as soon as she started handing out ASOUE books to her students. One of Olaf’s allies uses excerpts from “The Reptile Room” to track down Monty’s surviving reptiles.

It can be assumed that some of the students read them, and the Baudelaire orphans do recognize some of their old classmates in the slave crew of the Carmelita… Is it possible that they were kidnapped because they knew too much? Kit also kidnapped/recruited two orphans for special V.F.D. training before she was fired, so it can be assumed that they read some of them as well. This all happened some time between “The Austere Academy” and “The Carnivorous Carnival”.

I would argue that Mrs Bass read these books as well, there’s a big theory on that (Link).

Another possibility to consider is that the the Snicket file was actually the working draft of the series. Lemony sends several rough drafts of “The Bad Beginning’” to Bass. Given that the Man With Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard end up getting their hands on the file, it’s highly probable that they know the ASOUE books exist.

All in all the first publication of the earlier books was, in Lemony’s own reality, pretty rough. But it can be assumed that a good number of people did read them. The Baudelaire orphans didn’t know somebody was writing a book about their lives… but hey, they’re always the last ones to learn anything.

Kit’s daughter has also read several of the ASOUE books, according to “The Beatrice Letters”, but that happens years after the end of the series.

exceptionalcelestial  asked:

ok ok ok so i keep seeing all these memes about the mcelroy brothers and i am left with two questions: who are these people? and they are HILARIOUS where can i consume their content? i honestly have no idea lmao


ok ok ok so the mcelroy brothers are these three rowdy boys called justin, travis, and griffin mcelroy, and they are some good good boys that are all delightfully funny and overall gr8 individuals.

justin is your oldest brother, editor-at-large, and seriously named his d&d character taako (pronounced like taco). his face does the squish when he laughs.

Originally posted by rncelroy

travis is your middlest brother, sexpert (maybe?), very scared of spiders, and did a hit. is a sweetheart and also has a beard. is starting a series called carrey on where he reviews jim carrey’s movies.

Originally posted by gravedelight

and griffin is your sweet baby brother, and forbes 30 under 30 media luminary despite being a completely ridiculous individual but we love him for it.

Originally posted by rncelroy

I was first exposed to the mcelboy content through youtube! griffin and nick (not a mcelroy but a pretty funny dude) do videos on polygon like car boys, coolgames inc, and touch the skyrim. griffin and justin do a really great series called monster factory! plus griffin also is currently doing his peacecraft series which is A+

there are also a lot of animated shorts on youtube for their podcasts and shows, if you just want to dip ur toe into their content!

another place for sweet mcelroy content are the podcasts they do! one of them is called “my brother, my brother and me” (mbmbam) and its a really fun podcast/’advice show for the modern era’ where the boys answer yahoo questions, and its been running for i think seven years!

mbmbam is through maximum fun, which has a whole host of other lovely podcasts, some of which the boys are involved in (bunker buddies, trends like these, shmanners, sawbones, and rose buddies, i wanna say thats it but i honestly have no idea). heres a nice list of them all

another good podcast is The Adventure Zone (taz), which is a dungeons and dragons podcast that griffin DMs! it has their dad in it! its really great, and i highly recommend it even if u aren’t into d&d!

you can get all these sweet podcasts 4 free through itunes! (tho max fun has em for rss if itunes aint ur jam)

they also just released a tv show for mbmbam! you can watch one of the episodes FOR FREE on youtube, and then u can watch the rest through seeso!

and that concludes your introductory course to the mcelboys. have fun!

Originally posted by ewzzy

Is Quigley Quagmire a liar?

Every self-respecting Snicket fan has entertained the theory of a deceiving, villainous Quigley Quagmire at least once. In honor of this cherished tradition, the Snicket Sleuth is now proud to present a variation on this idea.

The character is suspicious and mysterious; however, it’s not that easy an accusation to prove. Quigley has numerous occasions to betray the Baudelaire orphans throughout the story and doesn’t seize them. And, although the stories he tells them about his life after the Quagmire fire are full of holes, his allegations are largely confirmed by other characters (Kit Snicket, Captain Widdershins, etc).

More reasonably, we can therefore assume that Quigley is not a liar per se. He could, however, be guilty of retaining important information from people who need it the most. He may have a variety of motives, but he seems to do it mostly out of shame. Quigley’s past actions may indeed have (unwillingly) caused Jacques Snicket’s death. Let’s start our trial after the cut.

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How did VFD manipulate Justice Strauss into joining them?

Justice Strauss appears to have been recruited by VFD to find the Baudelaires and put a stop to the crimes of Olaf and his allies:

“And I’m afraid I wasn’t a guardian at all,” Justice Strauss said. “As soon as you were taken away in that automobile, I knew I had done the wrong thing, and when I heard the dreadful news about Dr. Montgomery I began searching for you. Eventually I found other people who were also trying to battle the wicked villains of this world, but I always hoped I would find you myself, if only to say how sorry I was.”
[The Penultimate Peril, Chapter Eight]

But clearly the implication of such an important character couldn’t limit itself to watching birds with sunoculars or caring for three orphaned children. No, Strauss’ recruitment is part of much more important plan designed by VFD; “saving” the Baudelaires is more of an incentive the organization uses to motivate her.

When did this recruitment scheme start? How was Jacques Snicket involved? And what does it teach us about VFD’s actual plan during the events of “The Penultimate Peril”? Learn more after the cut.

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#Aidan Turner #BFI #Radio Times Festival

Credit: Getty Images

Was lucky enough to see and hear Aidan at the BFI IMAX yesterday and it was such a treat. He was engaged, articulate, charming, humourous, interesting and kind. I think it was the best panel interview I have seen with him. He was relaxed and comfortable, he seemed to be really at ease with Debbie Horsfield and Damien Timmer as his team. Both Debbie and Damien really gave him chance to shine and talk at depth and it was great to see him get the chance to talk freely. He was more forthcoming than at the BFI panel last August and seemed a lot more relaxed than he was during the St Austell interview when he looked so fidgety and nervous he nearly fell off his stool. Alison Graham may not have asked the most original or scintillating questions but Aidan handled himself really well. There were also some really interesting questions from the audience as well as some more light-hearted ones such as a question about Garrick and a suggestion that Ross have a beard for series 4 (ooh yes please!). A few people in the audience had brought him presents and he was lovely to all of these ladies. One highlight was when he gave a hug to an 11 year old girl who had travelled for hours to come and see him. That was just absolutely lovely to see​. 

I was also so pleased that Debbie Horsfield and Damien Timmer acknowledged how special Aidan is and that he is the only person who could have brought Ross Poldark to life. Without Aidan, Poldark would not have worked and would not have enjoyed the huge success that it has. It was nice to hear them say that there was absolutely nobody else who could have done that. He is such a talented actor, and he has played Ross brilliantly, handling really difficult material and storylines. I would love for his talent to be recognised with some awards but having it acknowledged in such a good way by Debbie and Damien yesterday was great, definitely a good start. 

It was a really special day yesterday. It was brilliant to see Aidan on such good form and also great to see and catch​ up with friends old and new.

Who was the “real” J.S.?

The elusive J.S. hovers over the plot of the later half of “A Series Of Unfortunate Events”, acting as a mysterious, unseen presence no character seems able to identify. All we know is that this J.S. somehow wishes to get his/her hands on the Sugar Bowl, but no member of VFD can ascertain to which side of the Schism this person is affiliated. Some believe the real J.S. is dead and currently impersonated by various individuals. This matter is a major concern throughout “The Penultimate Peril”, with many characters following J.S.’s orders or trying to unmask him/her. Dewey apparently runs the show but dies before bringing the entire charade to light. The question remains: who was J.S., really? None of the five possible candidates seem to satisfy the facts entirely:

  • Jacques Snicket dies long before J.S. starts spanning his/her web of conspiracies,
  • Justice Strauss and Jerome Squalor only join VFD very late into the game, and exhibit a very limited knowledge of the entire ordeal,
  • Julio Sham appears to only be a past alias of Count Olaf, who wouldn’t want to attract attention on himself,
  • J., an unidentified individual who disguises him/herself as “Captain S.”, the owner of the Prospero, rather seems to be involved in a separate plot to embark the Incredibly Deadly Viper aboard the Prospero. Recent investigations suggest he might have been Jacob/Jake Snicket, Lemony’s father, because of his implication in the Valorous Farm Dairy.

So, who’s left, really? Is this J.S. someone the reader is supposed to remember from past plots? And why would he/she feel the sugar bowl is rightfully his/her? Find out a possible solution after the cut.

NOTE TO READERS: This theory is so dense we had to cut it in two parts. This first half will concentrate on the events from Book 1 to 11 in “A Series Of Unfortunate Events”. The second half has yet to be written; it will focus on “The Penultimate Peril” and the mysterious taxi driver’s involvement in the overall J.S. mystery.

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