Even when Barry and Iris fight, the conflict is centered on the other trying to help the other or be there for the other. Iris was upset Barry left, but ultimately he left to protect her. Barry made those wedding plans so Iris wouldn’t have to stress over them. Iris doesn’t want Barry to feel like he’s alone in bearing the weight of the city on his back, so she wants him to let her shoulder some of that with him. Their problems are literally because they love each other so much and are trying to make the other thrive and not worry, they just needed a medium to communicate that and realize how partnership works. What kind of selfless OTP???