the bae with a puppy

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How to kiss bae 😁

what happened when shiro first met matt’s family

  • they make him take his shoes off on the front porch which only supports shiro’s theory that matt and his family are cryptids
  • despite the fact that bae bae is a puppy and quite small, shiro still gets tackled by him but loves every second of it
  • there’s a framed picture of a can of peas above the fireplace. shiro doesn’t know of he can ask abt it
  • matt, who swears like a fuckin sailor when not around his family, has to creatively censor himself
  • see: “mothertrucker, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick”
  • it’s almost dinner time and katie runs out to meet his brother’s new friend and yells “hi shit” instead of “hi shiro” bc she’s still a little kid and always hears matt calling him “shit” or “takashit” on the phone or in private
  • everyone in the holt family is short af so shiro, who’s a tall and gangly teenager, feels katie just. wrap her body around his leg while standing
  • she wants to climb him but colleen tells her no
  • sam holt comes in just before dinner, points at shiro and asks “aren’t you the sophomore who tried to connect and control the flight simulator with a guitar hero controller?”
  • shiro: haha no i have no idea what you’re talking about…
  • sam: well i thought it was absolutely genius. wish i could meet the student who thought of that
  • shiro: it wAS ME
  • they have spaghetti for dinner and shiro accidentally says, “oh yeah sometimes i just eat this stuff uncooked” and everyone. looks at him
  • matt has to leave the table bc he’s laughing so hard and shiro is so embarassed
  • katie: wouldn’t that give you sam and ella?
  • it takes a while for him to notice that every family picture has an image of boiled chicken where matt’s head is supposed to be
  • matt leans over and whispers “it’s been ten months and they haven’t even noticed”
  • after dinner colleen just HAS to show shiro some baby pictures of matt but apparently baby matt NEVER smiled and had a resting bitch face so he just looked like an angry white potato
  • matt, embarassed, scrunches up his face and colleen goes “haha yeah that’s the exact expression!”
  • shiro to mr holt: haha yeah i used to think that teachers lived in school and, like, hung from the ceiling to sleep
  • sam, smiling at him: sometimes i do
  • shiro witnesses a moment where matt comes out of his room wearing a hoodie pulled over a mannequin head to be funny but ends up scaring katie
  • sam sighs and says to colleen “he gets this from your side of the family” while he tries to calm down his crying daughter
  • then it’s the awkward position where shiro watches matt get scolded by his parents and he doesn’t know if he needs to leave the room or not

bonus:

  • matt does the thing where he goes up to his mom and says “mom, shiro’s hungry” and shiro nearly decks him
  • shiro brings baby bro keith over one day to see if he and katie would get along but colleen ends up doting over him and mothering him. keith seems to like the attention