the artist rp

Imagine your OTP- Things I've said to my SO
  • "Why the fuck are there three different rolls of paper towels??"
  • "Do we need lessons on how ziplock bags work?"
  • "Taking off my clothes takes effort. I'm sleeping on the futon."
  • "At what point if any did it cross your mind that this might be a bad idea?"
  • "TECHNOLOGY HATES ME OH MY GOD I KILLED THE MICROWAVE."
  • "Wake me up if you want something!! Seriously! Sleepy sex is awesome!"
  • "Please kill it. Preferably with fire."
  • "See, this is why we're together. No one else could handle our terrible puns."
  • "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAB YOURSELF OPENING YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT GO TO THE HOSPITAL."
  • "I love you. but I swear to you if you keep leaving lunch containers in the sink without putting soapy water in them I will kill you slowly."
  • "Dude, we're old... your brother just left with a 24-pack of bud ready to party, and we're sitting in front of the TV with Netflix and fancy cheese."
  • "These potatoes in the fridge are starting to flower... can I toss them?"
  • "Sleep is for those that haven't been struck with inspiration."
  • "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
  • "Sweetie, I appreciate the thought, but I meant A 50c PACKAGE of reeses, I didn't need the whole candy aisle."
  • "Goddamn it why are you so sweet."
  • "I just got out from babysitting and I am having my tubes tied immediately."
  • "I AM NOT CUTE GODDAMN IT I AM INTIMIDATING."
  • "Let me rephrase, I'm getting mongolian. if you'd like, you can come along, but if not, that's cool too. but I want mongolian."
  • "You bought WHAT for HOW MUCH?"
  • "I love your mother, but I almost reached across the table and wrapped my hands around her throat."
  • "Why do we even NEED more bass?"
  • "SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER"
  • "You may want to hide the alcohol because I may die from how much and how badly I want to drink right now."
  • "Aaaack that freaks me out when you do that!!"
  • "Everything hurts and I'm dying, but I'm not pregnant this month so that's nice."
  • "STOP TICKLING ME YOU ASSHOLE I WILL NIPPLE PINCH YOU"
I don’t care what anyone says about you or if they think they know you because they don’t know you the way I do.
—  Tenari Ioapo // Confessions of a woman madly in love #16.
Imagine your OTP- Things My SO has said
  • "Oh my god your feet are freezing!!"
  • "Aw. he's an adorable furry little asshole."
  • "Do I be smart and eat healthy, or do I eat Cheesy Death
  • before work?"
  • "I want to get the 12" subwoofer so we can FEEL explosions on movie night!"
  • "Our neighbors hate us."
  • "WHY DO YOU NOT REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER IT'S LITERALLY A FOOT ABOVE THE TOILET."
  • "Uh Oh...Another Feelsy Doctor Who episode?"
  • "WHY. JUST WHY."
  • "Are you ever going to EAT these bananas, or are they just
  • going to become another science experiment?"
  • "BECAUSE REASONS THAT'S WHY."
  • "I may be passed out on the couch when you get home."
  • "Can you NOT touch the toilet please??"
  • "I know. Germaphobe weirdness."
  • "XBOX. STOP BEING A DICK."
  • "We need a bigger bathtub."
  • "Baby no that is not justifiable homicide DO NOT KILL HIM."
  • "You've been picking up a lot of extra shifts... I'm worried you're going to make yourself sick this many days without a day off."
  • "Are you only just now realizing the three-rolls-of-Paper-towels thing?"
  • "What the hell is this in the coffee pot?!"
  • "Sorry you're having a bad day... would chocolate and cuddles make it better?"
  • Write your pairings in the tags

 I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ minded being
               on  my σωη.
                                Then something BROKE
                                 in me
                                 and  I
                   wanted to
                        go
                   h  o  m  e
                                  to be where
                                         y  o  u
                                              are.