the arachni

Allura: What secrets? You’re SOOO predictable!

Zarkon: Predictable? PREDICTABLE? Oh, you call THIS predictable?

[pulls a lever that opens up an alligator pool beneath Allura]

Allura: Your alligators, yeah, mm-hmm. I was thinking about it on the way over…

Zarkon: [pulls another lever that reveals a hidden gun] What’s this? Boom! In your face.

Allura: Cliché!

Zarkon: No! Look! Watch!

[brings down a gauntlet of blades]

Allura: Juvenile!

[brings up a chainsaw]

Allura: Tacky!

Zarkon: OH, IT’S SO SCARY!

[unleashes a cycle of spiked boots]

Allura: Seen it!

Zarkon: [frantic] What’s this one do?’!

[unleashes a flamethrower]

Allura: Garish!

[Zarkon breaks down]

Allura: Okay, the spider’s new.

Zarkon: Spider?

[sees a spider hanging in front of Allura. Haggar just shrugs]

Zarkon: Uh… Uh, yes, the spyiiiiiider. Even the smallest bite from… “arachnis deathicus”… will instantly paralyze…

[Allura blows the spider into Zarkon’s eye]

Zarkon: AARGH! GET IT OFF! IT BIT ME!

I had a small adventure at work today!

So it’s not uncommon for spiders to wander in from the warehouse. This is fine; I just catch and release them. About the third day I was there I caught a big wolf spider to take outside, rescuing her from a coworker armed with a flipflop, and so now it’s not uncommon to hear someone say ‘NIKKI THERE’S A SPIDER’.

Okay, fine, I like them and would rather set them free in the woods across the street, no big.

Today, though? As soon as I walked in: ‘THERE’S A BIG SPIDER IN THE KITCHEN’. I went to investigate, and there was indeed a big spider.

Specifically, this big spider:

(Disclaimer: that’s not actually her. In hindsight I DO wish I’d taken a picture, but at the time I was preoccupied with coaxing her into a cup without either of us getting hurt.)

So now the woods across the street have a new Queen, the warehouse guys have been warned that there was at least one widow in the building and she may have siblings hiding in nooks, and my reputation as The Spider Person has gained strength after I pointed out just what they’d sent me after.

Not a bad start to the day!

seraph-king  asked:

So furries apply to mammals, and scalies apply to reptiles, what do you apply for fish? I only ask cause you're a fellow degenerate who would probably know.

Firstly, I hate you for thinking and assuming I would know.

Second I do know (shutupshutupshutup) and I’m pretty sure they just count as furries. Scalies is just in reference to a specific type of furry, mostly of reptiles but there are a lot of animals that don’t fall under mammals or reptiles and we don’t really have names for those specific subsets ya know? Like, look at Muffet from Undertale. She’s a spider, but there’s no specific name for that specific fur-type unless you want to look like an idiot by pushing a name for spider-furs calling her an arachny. That sounds dumb.

So fish are like just up in the air like every other miscellaneous animal type. Scalie only really caught on because thought it was weird to call them furry despite not having fur (like it honestly fucking matters how weird it is despite ya know being a furry in the first place). If you wanna be technical about it, most fish have scales and can be called scalies and you wouldn’t be wrong. But then that leaves other dwellers of the sea like crustaceans and stuff but I’M NOT GIVING THIS ANYMORE THOUGHT BECAUSE I JUST THOUGHT OF THE PHRASE “CRUSTONAS” AND I’M NOT OKAY DONE END OF POST SHOO