Spring and Winter - CeridwenofWales - Vikings (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
This piece was meant to be an innocent one shot requested by my sweetie @babyjane11, but I’ll include this in the main fic later on. Based on this confession of @viking-whispers. I didn’t work alone, @daizydoe provided the fun and help. I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. ^^
Tagging: @mizzvengenz6661, @heathensisterwives, @heathen-army, @thenorns-themoirai and @jevoislavieenrouge, @whenimaunicorn, @ivartheheathen, @ivartheboneme, @captainpoopweinersoldier, @carlya65, @ivarsvalkyrie, @ivars-heathen, @tiyetiye, @raekenimages, @imaginesparadise, @anniemar, @cherrytrinkets, @brightlycoloredteacups, @premiere-gaou, @princess-sweatpants, @synnersaint, @redheadedtrollop, @belle-scarre, @wanderingsorceress27, @sereniti9, @underthenorthstar, @pokeasleepingsmaug, @wanderingsorceress27, @wastelandsheep and @pagan-raider
“When you’re not here by my side, I end up imagining that the breeze ruffling my hair is your hand. And when I close my eyes, I can hear your voice - full of a passionate love that I have not ever discovered in another before, nor will I ever again. Your absence drives me mad, and I can only hope to return to you soon.”
Defeated once more. It was like she was feeling. Pain all over her body, as if she had fought in a battle. At least it was like Emer imagined the warrior’s muscles would feel like. A dull pressure on her lower back, and, of course, the blood that was soaking the cloth she placed between her legs.
If at least she was passing through pain to bring a new life to the world, she would gladly endure. But another cycle of moon had passed and another opportunity to do her duty was wasted. Emer didn’t understand why Ivar had never touched her. Sometimes she caught him staring at her, but he never said a thing.
“What is on his mind?”, a constant and silent question she didn’t know if one day would be answered.
If he was not satisfied with her, it would be expected to take a concubine or a slave. But he never did, and for this she was grateful, Emer knew it was his right to do so, but it would feel like a knife being twisted in her heart if Ivar touched another woman. Not only because people would whisper she was a useless wife, after all those months not showing any sign of pregnancy. But because she wanted all of him. His blue eyes swallowing her to the darkness that she knew lived within. Emer wouldn’t mind being dragged to the shadows if it meant she would not be alone. She would be with him. Truly with him.
Ivar was worried, when he woke up, she was still sleeping and hadn’t come to the hall yet. He couldn’t eat.
“Where is my wife? Is she awake?”, Ivar inquired one of the servants, who shook her head.
Ivar sighed and was going to see by himself.
Lying on her stomach she was trying to muffle her crying and the pain. She heard some priests saying that women deserved the pain because of Eve’s original sin. Emer doubted it.
She knew that while men spilled blood in the world in hunting and war, women gave blood. Through the healing crimson wave of the moon’s birth the body was cleansed from the last month’s death, preparing her womb to receive the gift of life, restoring the death men inflict upon the world. The knowledge that men wanted to keep for themselves that life comes from between women’s legs, and that life costs blood. Some men might think women are afraid of blood in a battlefield. If they knew that women more than any other living being, were aware of the high price of life and death. For they suffered to bring life to the world and grieved the loss and waste of blood.
Emer felt a hand on her back, “Are you ill?”, Ivar asked.
Emer raised her head slowly, “No, it’s only… my…”, she felt embarrassed to tell him.
Ivar was looking at her with curiosity, she mentioned she was not sick. But why she didn’t say what she was feeling, “Tell me.”, he asked softly, caressing her hair.
Emer closed her eyes, savoring the gentleness, “I’ll be fine. Have you eaten yet?”
“Yes, I have. But you should. I’ll ask Sorcha to bring you something.”, Ivar whispered lying, removing his hand from her hair.
Emer immediately missed the warmth of his touch, but nodded.