A/N: I started off this ’Colin as Ariel‘piece at the end of 2013, but I guess I took too many wrong turns back then and when I came to a dead end, running out of the inspiration, I knew the only thing I could do was to abandon it for a moment. That’s how it has remained as wip ever since. And the reason why I gave it a shot one more time is still a mystery, properly a mood thing I guess.
This work is of a little madness I think lol, gone a bit wider than I expected, but it perfectly suits my current state and the current weather (angry storm to be precise). I actually like the delicate little Ariel embraces the rain with such serenity, which reminds me how I should tackle all the difficult problems in life. Stay composed. With a grateful heart.
Also, I’d like to recommend the song ‘Moondust’ by Jaymes Young, it inspires me a lot lately!
(#Q) hi @pretenditwasjustadream!! i think we all miss him when he’s not on tv too ㅠㅠ hehe anyways thank you for requesting and enjoy (๑’◡͐’๑)
What a terrible day, sucky weather, angry manager, mistakes here and there. You were both mentally and physically exhausted, it was just like other normal days, except Jackson wasn’t by your side this time. You sighed all the way home, you wanted to quit your job so bad and just sleep.
“Jackson…” you trailed off, looking at his pictures from the news. He was smiling so brightly on stage, lighting up people’s nights. You smiled just by just looking at his picture, he really is everyone’s happy pill. You blinked in exhaustion, just two more weeks with no Jackson.
“Korea, I miss you! I’ll be back soon….for you!” Jackson posted on his Instagram with his selca with a fluffy bear keychain. It was the keychain both of you had, it was something like a couple chain. You immediately commented “can’t wait”, knowing he would read it. Stretching you decided to take a quick shower, hoping it’ll heal your aches.
You dialled Jackson’s number after your shower, you wanted to see how he was doing. “Babe!” he picked up at the first ring, as if he was waiting for your call. “Jackson, I-” you choked on your words, having a sudden emotion purge. “I miss you so much,” you managed to get your words out, tears streaming down.
“I hate my work,” you sulked, tears flowing uncontrollably. Jackson, on the other line was worried, he had never heard you so negative and down ever. You were as positive as him, always laughs and smiles. “I’ll be back soon,” he tried his best to console you, feeling upset for not being there.
You sniffed, “I want to see you but I can’t,” you complained a bit while trying to stop yourself from crying further. Jackson was just as sad as you, he felt bad for leaving you alone in the house for a month and he knew how stressful your work was. “I’m sorry, I’m being too emotional,” you apologised, realizing you were just adding burden onto him when he had enough of his own.
Jackson wasn’t as chatty as usual, it seemed like you were on the speaker but you didn’t mind, you just needed to hear his voice. “Babe, you can tell me about your day, I’m all ears,” he told you, his voice slightly softer. You sniffed again, composing your thoughts. It was a bad week but it was nothing compared to his busy schedules with no rest.
“My manager shouted at me, again for nothing,” you said tiredly. There wasn’t any response from the other line so you thought he was cut off, “Jackson?” That earned an instant answer from him, “I’m here. That’s awful of him! He should get fired.” You chuckled, “and are you going to fire him for me?”
Silence. “Jackson?” “Oh yes, of course I will! I’m Wang Jackson, I can do anything!” he joked, trying to ease your sadness. You can hear lots of noise in his background but you didn’t question him, it was probably just the members in the room. “So how was the concert?”
He ‘hmm’-ed and laughed, “it was…..fun.” You smiled, at least one of you were enjoying themselves. You hear a knock from his room and he went to open the door, “hyung, you asked me to come?” It was Bambam. You were eager to chat with him too, he was another one of the positive and happy people.
“____!” BamBam exclaimed after Jackson told him that you were on the phone, he ran towards the phone and changed it back from speaker mode. “Hey, hey, remember, she’s my girlfriend, not yours,” you hear Jackson remind him, typical Jackson. Both you and BamBam laughed at his remark, what was he thinking?
“It’s rainy there right? Wear light and water-proof-” BamBam cut off, “hyung, where do you think you’re going?” Jackson took the phone back from him, “going back for now, we don’t have concerts for three days,” he told him. You were baffled, where does he think he’s going?
“Don’t try to talk me out, I’m coming home, babe. See you soon,” he said lovingly before hanging up.
Weather it’s a shot to end the pain,
Or a cut to split the vain.
Weather it’s a purge to stop the gain,
Or a pill to stop the shame.
Weather it’s a drink to be brave,
Or a smoke to ease the pain.
An addictions an addiction,
Because they all hurt the same.
Angry wall cloud, possible funnel and RFD on the Lane County, Kansas supercell. Sometimes an accident of lighting can give a storm a really mean appearance. Not that this storm wasn’t dangerous - it had 80 mph winds and tore off the roof of an implement dealer’s building in Kalvesta not long after this picture was taken. WNW of Kalvesta, KS 08/04/15 7:12p CDT Digital Image by Eugene Thieszen
Real talk: Let me tell you what being a sex blogger is like in a time in our human history where we are all trapped on a planet with over polluted oceans, crooked systems, screaming people, angry voices, and strange weather…
It’s a little like the band playing the symphony to the bottom of the ocean while riding the Titanic down.
That’s a little fatalistic I’m sure.
But just hold still while I address my anxiety for a second.
Cause it’s interfering with my fucking.
I used to run to sex to escape the anxiety, grief, pain, etc.
But now it’s starting to feel futile.
I don’t know if I want empty Sex anymore. And believe it or not.
That concept scares the fuck out of me.
And I truly cannot tell you why.
So either find a straight tits and ass page to stare at while I work this shit out cause it’s probably going to get deep.
Especially if Titanic is going down.
Or strap in and go deep with me.
Death or birth are at the bottom.
But hey…that’s history, present, and future for you.