So in honor of Anton yelchins death I’d like to tell you all the story of how I accidentally impersonated him on court record. Feel free to read or not too, it’s a bit long.
When I was about 14, my mother and I were in Kroger, grocery shopping for the week, and a cash register exploded. No alarms went off, but when we reached the front there were toxic fumes spewing from one of the conveyor belts. I was coughing a lot so, mom put our names down on a list of witnesses in case I came down with something more serious.
Fast forward to the summer after I turned 16 and a man shows up at our door with court papers. I have completely forgotten the entire incident, in fact I’d just woken up. It turns out an elderly lady had sued Kroger in order to pay part of her medical bills for lung problems that could have been caused by the incident.
A couple months later, mom and I go and do depositions, and they ask us to be full witnesses.
The next spring mom checks me out early from school, I change into decent clothes the car, and we have to go to the enormous courthouse in downtown little rock. I’ve never been there, and even the small heels I had on made this cool echoey click on the tile floors. So we wait. And wait. And wait. Outside the courtroom. It’s hot. I’m nervous. Really nervous. There’s going to be a bunch of people looking at me, asking me strange questions about an incident I barely remember at all. I’m sweating through my white blouse, hoping it doesn’t show in the strange sunlight filtering through the stained glass windows. They finally open the big wooden doors (somewhat like I imagine the ones in the great hall at Hogwarts would be like) and let me in, and I get up there on the stand, and the first thing they ask after swearing in is of course, “what’s your name?”
“Annika” I say. The next thing they ask is how old I am. And in a perfect impression of Chekhov in the rebooted Star Trek movie I say
Moral of the story: Somewhere deep in Arkansas court record is an accidental Star Trek reference I made. Also. I couldn’t miss Anton Yelchin more.