the adventures of supercas and batdean

i want this because of reasons


zempasuchil replied to your post: How about 10 and 12 for SPN?

your dream projects are making my insides all squiggly and good. not only my ultimate weakness, “oh no incest” s1 sam/dean, but LONGFIC AU-STIEL. TIGERSTIEL, LASS, I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN 4.01 AND 4.20 TIGERSTIEL

DLKASJDA IKR omg. That scene in the beginning of 4x20 where Dean is fishing on the dock, and then he hears a growl behind him and he tenses. (Not a rush of wings here, but a growl.) No matter how many times he hears that growl, man. He has to remind itself it’s just Cas. And then the scene in the warehouse where he’s rushing to the side of a fallen tiger, all like, “Cas?” but when the tiger wakes up, it roars and swipes at Dean. It launches at him and knocks him to the ground, and Dean while panicking still thinks it’s Cas because it’s difficult to tell the angel from the animal. It’s the same inhuman fierceness in the eyes and in every coil of muscle. (Dean will remember this a year later in an alley on his way to saying yes. Claws ripping into him and fangs smeared with his own blood. When he yells, “Do it!” the tiger will hesitate, and this will be the only way Dean is sure it’s Castiel, and he can’t tell if what he feels then is relief or despair.)


ilovehowyouletmefall replied to your post: nithathil replied to your post: my thoughts on…

Can you write more of this?

YES. And now I’m wondering if Benny was a religious guy or not, like what is he even imagining when Dean says ‘angel’? 'Cos I’m sure Dean was like, “No, not with the halo or the wings,” but with the suits and the double-talk and they come across more like conmen than warriors of God, but that’s just their vessels 'cos in their true form–

and Dean goes quiet, mulling something over. Benny’s like, “Well?” and Dean says, “You know Ezekiel, in the Bible?”

“Yes, Zeke and I are old pals.”


Benny rolls his eyes. “Nothing. Go on.”

It’s kind of like in the Bible, with the burning wheels and the topaz and malachite, the animal heads, the multitudes of giant wings. Less of an angel, more of a monster, an old god no one worships anymore because anyone who worships the dark succumbs to it until there is nothing left. Dean read the chapter after he came back from hell, hoping the good book would give him some clues about that dude he met at the barn, but all it gave him was the vague notion that it got some things wrong. For one thing, the Bible makes no mention of their voice, which hurts human ears, but Dean was unbodied the first true time he met Castiel, and the harmonics thrummed through him like air after drowning, making hell itself quake and Alastair cower.

…Okay, so Dean may not tell ALL of this to Benny, but he gets the general message across. And it’s all strange and incongruous to Benny, so full of contrasts that he can’t quite picture the guy, the thing, the whatever. The rest of Dean’s stories about Castiel are capers and jokes. He talks about this cosmic horror the way Benny used to talk about his cousin from the sticks. Every so often Benny can see the story wander close to something more complex, and Dean hastily shepherds it in the other direction.

“He’s got a giant stick up his ass,” Dean says, “but he’s all right.”

It’s only when Dean has his sword to another monster’s throat, asking that same question over and over, that Benny sees the untold parts of the story come to light. The smoke and mirrors fall away. Ah, yes. This makes more sense.

He is here, come down to look for you.
It is the song that calls you back,
a song of joy and suffering
equally: a promise:
that things will be different up there
than they were last time.

You would rather have gone on feeling nothing,
emptiness and silence; the stagnant peace
of the deepest sea, which is easier
than the noise and flesh of the surface.

You are used to these blanched dim corridors,
you are used to the king
who passes you without speaking.

The other one is different
and you almost remember him.
He says he is singing to you
because he loves you,

not as you are now,
so chilled and minimal: moving and still
both, like a white curtain blowing
in the draft from a half-opened window
beside a chair on which nobody sits.

He wants you to be what he calls real.
He wants you to stop light.
He wants to feel himself thickening
like a treetrunk or a haunch
and see blood on his eyelids
when he closes them, and the sun beating.

This love of his is not something
he can do if you aren’t there,
but what you knew suddenly as you left your body
cooling and whitening on the lawn

was that you love him anywhere,
even in this land of no memory,
even in this domain of hunger.
You hold love in your hand, a red seed
you had forgotten you were holding.

He has come almost too far.
He cannot believe without seeing,
and it’s dark here.
Go back, you whisper,

but he wants to be fed again
by you. O handful of gauze, little
bandage, handful of cold
air, it is not through him
you will get your freedom.

- Margaret Atwood, “Eurydice”

anonymous asked:

Plz help I usually a gen girl, but what is canon doing w/deancas and my feelings about them. I just idk. THE PWOER OF LOVE AND WHATNOT GODDAMN IT SPN. Do either of them even admit its love of any kind? Friend love, family love, romantic love what ever. "I need you", "I won't hurt dean" (despite killing a thousand of them, I bet Cas cried and begged and sobbed more then the dean's did at first) I thought maybe Cas would admit to some kind of love for dean and dean hiding but now other way around?

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. When my friend and I discuss Dean and Cas, I feel like we often end our points with “AND NOT EVEN IN A SHIPPY WAY!!” ‘cos like, either way you cut that custard, Dean and Cas have a lot of feelings. ABOUT EACH OTHER. Have done some epic shit INVOLVING EACH OTHER. So like, whether you ship it or not, that shit is CANON FOR TS ahaha i am kidding tumblr savior cannot actually save you from this WE ARE ALL DOOMED

I do think they love each other, but that it doesn’t always culminate in loving acts HAHAHA UNDERSTATEMENT.GIF. I think they each come from a place where the way they’ve learned to love is really fucked up and puts so many things at risk including a) themselves and sometimes b) the world. I don’t think they understand each other (understatement.gif ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY), but it hasn’t stopped them from, like, forging this relationship of… IDEK what to call it. I can see the romance in it, but mostly I see faith, challenge, loss, sacrifice, serendipity, miracles, and a bond that persists even through betrayal, departure, and the weight of their individual personal baggage. Dean and Cas are despite, not because

dotthings replied to your postthe first time you dream, you dream of yourself as…

you made me cry. Cas dreaming about being an angel. and dreaming about Dean. Cas…hiding? and seeming reluctant to show himself and Dean’s touch being so gentle. Go sit in the corner and think about what you have done!!!

<333 YOU. SORRY ABOUT THAT ilu dot. I don’t think Cas is hiding, necessarily. The way I thought of it, seraphs just go around with wings over their faces, like that’s just what seraphs do, so for Dean to push them aside is kind of a dissolution of identity. Not self, but identity. So on the one hand, there is the seraph’s habit of keeping their face shielded from humans, but there is also the part of Cas thinking more from a place of desire where he wants to be with Dean and wants Dean to come closer. But, this seems to mean removing the wings from his face, which is, like, anathema, sort of? So there’s that whole thing, earth vs. heaven, retaining identity vs. following that desire. The latter thing doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive, but I tend to think that that’s the root of the Dean/Cas problem on Cas’s side, is that he doesn’t know how to reconcile being an angel with loving Dean in a way Dean understands. But things are changing - he’s not an angel anymore. God may not want to see his face, but for some reason, Dean does.

nithathil replied to your post: my thoughts on 8x02! Read More →

dang it, now I really want jealous!benny

And it’s not quite that Benny ~pines for Dean or something, but he’s kind of irritated at Cas for ruining the balance of a perfectly good duo, and Benny’s like, “That’s not how we do things” at Cas about some things, and Dean’s just like, “Lighten up,” and doesn’t take seriously the tension between his two supernatural buddies.

ALSO BEFORE CAS JOINED UP, the stories Dean would tell about him, ‘cos I mean if I were Benny, I’d want to know who the hell is this guy we’re looking for and why are we wasting our time on him. So Dean tells him and things fall in place, y'know. Lightbulb moment.

“You don’t even know he’s alive,” Benny says.

Dean replies, “I don’t have any proof that he’s dead.” It’s that simple. Humans are stupid and Benny is glad he isn’t one anymore.

anonymous asked:

Feels on how it seems like Dean is going to finally find Castiel, only to lose him again/leave him behind? That even after finding him, he can't save Cas and Cas' fears of putting dean in danger are completely correct?


Okay, so Dean has been looking for Cas for months, and when they finally find him, he finds out Cas has been staying away to ~keep Dean safe~ and I mean if I were Dean, I would be pretty pissed because WE HAVE DONE THIS SONG AND DANCE BEFORE, CAS, YOU DON’T GET TO PULL THAT LINE WITH HIM ANYMORE, but on the other hand, if all the monsters are pissed at Cas for eating them, that is a situation Dean should stay away from, is probably how Cas rationalized it, BUT it’s not like the monsters won’t try to kill Dean ANYWAY and Cas’s angel powers would probably help a lot in keeping Dean alive, even if Cas is a monster-magnet.

So basically, the feels are FRUSTRATION, frustration that although Cas was the one who spouted off the ‘profound bond’ line, Dean’s the one who acts like it has any meaning because Dean doesn’t need to be protected, he needs to be trusted, and Cas is TOO BUSY PROTECTING DEAN TO TRUST HIM.

IT’S YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU’RE THE REASON WE’RE APART BECAUSE YOU DON’T LET US BE TOGETHER, i can be more than the distance you have placed between us 

I’m not saying that Cas doesn’t value the bond, but ever since season 6, he has put himself in the position of protecting it rather than letting it protect him, and then when he tried to backpedal, it was too late oh it was so late oh caaaaaasssss

idk, Cas grew up (so to speak) in a martial society where love was mainly expressed as reverence for a silent god. It’s absolute, but not intimate. Then Dean comes along, the opposite of silent, the opposite of god, tangible and direct and there - and the signals get crossed. Cas may call Dean a friend, but I’m not sure he understands what that means. I think they were raised to expect completely different things from a relationship. 

ugh i’m rambling. THE POINT IS Cas sees himself as the Winchesters’ guardian and sometimes this gets in the way of him being their friend. To Dean, their friendship is a give-and-take, but to Cas - because of the absoluteness instilled into him by angelic society - it’s give-until-you-die. They are completely different spectrums, and part of why “who loves who more” wank gives me hives. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. I think they know each other more than they understand each other, and they care for each other more than they know each other.

did i answer the question? probably not. idk man, sometimes it seems like their MO is: to get what they want, they must lose each other. They are “rewarded by journeys / away from each other / into desire / into mornings alone”, THANKS, AUDRE LORDE.

ugh these two dweebs i s2g

hymnandher  asked:

Hey-o, I was wondering something and I just wanted to ask you-with the promise that I won't judge you at all for your answer because its all pretend and harmless-I love your Castiel as Claire or a Tiger or a Flame etc etc posts, but I always get curious about your take on his relationship with Dean in those forms. From what I gather them remain as intense and inter-wound as in canon-but are they still romantic in your eyes? If they are, are they sexual? Again, no judgement, just intrigued. :)

Also I think I only see Dean and Cas as sometimes romantic, or just left-of-center of romance. That is to say, romance is only one aspect of their complex relationship, and the relationship itself tends to fluctuate between signifiers of several things: duty, loyalty, friendship, human urges, vulnerability, awakening, ascension, descent, misunderstanding, faith, trust, expectations, love. We can say that love encompasses all these things, sure, but I think we can as easily say that faith encompasses all these things including love, that ascension encompasses all these things including love, etc. It’s about which one of them we assign as thesis concept and which ones we assign as supporting arguments, and my preferences tend to fluctuate on any given day.

Maybe these AUs are more about how Dean reacts and what it does to him, because Cas is Cas is Cas even when he’s a tiger or a flame. He still orbits Dean. What would be especially interesting is the S5 where Cas starts to lose his grace so he becomes more like his vessel. Function loses out to form. No grace to stop the fire from burning Dean. No grace to quell adolescent hormones. No grace to stop the tiger from hungering after prey. Eventually it all becomes a metaphor for need/love/devotion/etc. You are consumed, you are immolated, you are drowning, you lose control.

I’m not sure if Dean/Clairestiel can be truly romantic because Dean’d think it’s creepy because she’s so young, so if sex happens, he’d feel like shit about it. And I’m not sure if Dean’s discomfort would be something Clairestiel can understand. I also think Dean’s caretaker instincts would kick in more because even though she’s an angel, she looks like a kid. In 5x03, he wouldn’t take her to a brothel. He’d take her to a carnival and they’d eat cotton candy and ride the ferris wheel.

Tigerstiel is like the polar opposite because if an angel looks like a tiger, it’s more difficult to forget it isn’t human, which is what Dean tends to do in canon. This creature is dangerous, it can kill you, and it’s both humbling and terrifying to realize you have somehow won its heart, whatever heart it has. You wonder if it can turn on you at any moment. The connection you have to it can overwhelm you, but you work through the fear and wonder to try to meet it halfway because somehow you trust it anyway, and you trust that it trusts you. But you never forget it can rip you apart. As for whether it’s sexual, well, IT CAN BE. Maybe it’s more erotic? It’s not really Dean getting fucked by a tiger and yelling “OH YEAH HARDER HARDER”, but more like Cas licking Dean’s wound and resisting the thrill the taste gives him? 

Firestiel has all sorts of fun hell associations! Like, Dean can never seem to escape the theme. Fire took his mother, it took forty years of his life (or death, depending how you look at it), then it took his brother, but fire also raised him from perdition, like the only way out is through. He can walk through these flames and not burn. He has walked through these flames and been burned to ashes. I like the interpretation of Firestiel as a cleansing fire, but I also like it when it can’t help but burn Dean when it loves him most. It doesn’t mean to, but what is fire if it doesn’t burn? Shouldn’t you have known better? Should he? As for whether it’s sexual, you got the burnplay kink, hey hey. But like Tigerstiel, the sexual acts aren’t endgame. Part of the appeal of Tigerstiel and Firestiel is the trust it takes to open yourself up to a powerful thing who doesn’t always keep its powers in check, the horror of seeing it backfire, and what are you even feeling when it breaks the world/itself for you?

So idk, sometimes it’s romantic, sometimes it’s horror, sometimes it’s kinky, most of it is the profound bond between a man and various things that shouldn’t be sentient and/or young girls.

I hope any of this made sense to you.

marchinghordes  asked:

Dean & Castiel - final days


A month after Sam said yes, they’re not any closer to finding any kind of solution, or any kind of change, really, from this living hand-to-mouth. Castiel still looks for God, but less frequently now and more out of routine desperation than any genuine hope, which is quickly diminishing. Dean doesn’t even scoff at him for it anymore, and Castiel doesn’t know what to think of his new silences.

Dean is used to Castiel popping up in the passenger seat by now, but not to extended stays. The first time Dean pulled up to a motel and Castiel didn’t vanish to some far-flung shore, he looked genuinely surprised. But all he said was, “Two beds?”

Castiel said, “Yes.”

It was the first time Castiel slept. 

The truth is that Castiel is getting weaker. It drains him even to fly, and it was only with great difficulty that he was able to cross the world to hurtle into the Impala’s empty passenger seat, and that was the last night he looked for God. He doesn’t want to be stranded far from Dean if his powers vanish for good.

When. When his powers vanish for good.

The angels are leaving. It is only a matter of time. 

So here they are, the two of them forging onward if only because there is nothing kind behind them. Framingham is a ghost town when they drive through it, and they make a brief stop at someone’s destroyed house to scavenge for food and supplies. Dean tells Castiel to pick out some clothes for himself. “I think these are your size,” he says. Jeans, underwear, some shirts. The boots are too small. An oversized jacket, and a dark blue cap with a stylized red B on it.

“What does the B stand for?” Castiel asks.

“Probably means they hate the Yankees,” Dean says, “which is good enough for me.” He puts the cap on Castiel and yanks the brim down over his eyes, and chuckles.

In some country roads outside of Springfield, Dean tries to teach Castiel how to drive. It is a short-lived experiment. Dean won’t try it again until a couple of weeks later when a scuffle with some croats leave him with a broken leg and no choice at all. “Don’t kill us,” he’ll say to Castiel, clutching his arm as Castiel stomps on the gas, but that is a story for another time.

For now they are at a rest stop on some state border where all the restaurants have been looted, and Castiel has just woken up from a nap. For a few seconds, he just lies there in the backseat, letting the dream fade. He hates these dreams; he loves them. He wakes up from them with a stone in his heart because apparently dreams are just the deluded longings of mortality’s greater weaknesses, and reality will never live up to them. He misses his family. He misses home, and his dreams are cruel.

Dean knocks on the window. “Rise and shine, Cas.”

“What for?” he grumbles.

“Where’s that ol’ can-do angel attitude, huh?”

“You tell me.”

“Come on, grumpy, get out of there. I want you to meet somebody.”

Castiel twists his body and blinks owlishly out the window. Dean is standing next to a dark-haired woman with whom Castiel exchanges mutual skeptical expressions. He takes note of the gun in her holster, the way her hand is already curled around the hilt of the knife at her belt.

“Cas, this is Risa. Risa, Cas.” Dean looks at her. “Tell him what you told me about this Camp Chitaqua place.”

theopensea  asked:

Dean/Cas, dinosaurs

ANJ. ILU. Here we go, for Dean’s birthday, he asks Cas to take him back to the TIME OF THE DINOSAURS.

Dean’s face falls. “But… velociraptors are supposed to be bigger than this.”

“No, they’ve always been this size,” says Castiel. “The ones in that movie you made me watch are more like the utahraptor, which - Dean, don’t stand too close, they’re still dangerous.”

But Dean, cavalier with disappointment, squats down next to the creature, who chirrups at him curiously. “Spielberg tells lies,” he sighs at it.

“You mentioned you wanted to see the t-rex,” Castiel says.

Dean perks up. “T-rex?”

saltfree-archive-deactivated201  asked:

omg if you wrote angel!Dean, I would cry in delight :')

NO KELSEY OH NO because Dean is really loyal to his Father, right, and he is all about FAMILY and when his angel brethren starts getting killed, he is really distressed about it.

And in 4x01, Dean bursts through the barn doors and says to Cas, “I’m the one who dragged your ass out of hell.” And personally I am having too many feels at Dean making a deal with Crowley to win the war in heaven?? HE IS HOLDING UP HIS END.

And in S5 when Dean starts falling, he’s fiddling around with Cas’s car stereo because Cas has boring taste in music and what good is being human if all you ever listen to is, like, what the hell is this crap?

“Frank Sinatra,” says Cas, slightly miffed. “He’s a classic.”

Dean pops out the tape and finds a station playing ‘Whole Lotta Love’. “Hey, what’s this one called?”

oh no kelsey oh no dean is the angel in the leather jacket but he looks more like a hell’s angel than anything kelsey oh nooooo

anonymous asked:

Think if meg had lived she and dean would've had this epic rivalry for Cas. -He and I have a pizza date. Yeah well he broke free of mind control to save me. I have his first kiss. He saved me from hell. It's the only way he'll grope you and his hands let me tell you. He never set me on fire and left me to die. -And then they bone while they wait for Cas to show up again both jealous out of their mind but fuck if they will admit it to each other

If Meg were sticking around with the Winchesters after 8x17 and the subject of Cas comes up, I think where they’re coming from (though they wouldn’t necessarily vocalize it) is that they would be that Dean is mostly just kind of like weirded out by Megstiel like, what do they see in each other? I mean I can see what Dean would see in them both, but he’d be like, what do Cas and Meg see in each other that they would value? Would Cas be so naive as to fall so hard for the first girl he kisses, or something? What is going on there? 

But Meg knows exactly what Cas sees in Dean. Knows what there is in Dean that Cas values. She is better at reading people than both Cas and Dean combined. (Granted that is not very much.) They both apprenticed under Alastair in hell, and Meg may have been a diligent student, a star pupil, but Dean had a natural talent that Alastair doted on. Dean is everyone’s favorite, for all that the favoritism usually results in terrible things. Cursed are the blessed, she reckons.

So that’s where I think they’re coming from, but I’m not sure how the conversation would actually go. Maybe Meg still wants to find Cas, but Dean doesn’t, and they both get really vehement about it, Meg trying to get Dean to pray for Cas again, and Dean just refuses, also LOLSOB a demon trying to get me to pray WHAT A FINE JOKE.

Do demons pray?

Dean prays where no one can see, where no one can hear, and sometimes when he’s driving or paying for jerky at a 7-11, he thinks, Cas, you there? He thinks he sees him one time outside of Worcester, and who knows, it could be him, it could totally be him, fuckin teleporting creeper, but then he’s gone before Dean can even call his name. Could be Cas was never there, could be that’s someone else in a tan trenchcoat. What happens when you can no longer tell the difference between evidence and wishful thinking?

Meg thinks they should summon him. That results in another argument and Dean goes WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH, shouldn’t you and him be like, like cats and dogs? And Meg retorts “why don’t YOU care” and Dean bites down on the “I do”. He’s not gonna take that bait.

Even under duress, the most Meg would say about about why she cares is, “He’s a good kisser.”

He hasn’t told anyone about Cas beating the shit out of him in the crypt. Anyway that wasn’t really Cas. Right? In the heat of the moment he was so sure. He is still sure. Right?

It occurs to me that if Meg summons Cas on her own, which she would totally do, the scene might kind of parallel the 5x10 scene if she then traps him in holy fire to keep him from flying off again, which she totally would at least until she gets answers. Deja vu, except this time they kiss for real.

bluesbayou  asked:

we've talked about these two in epic spams for more than two years. but heck, i miss hearing your thoughts on them. dean/castiel, bb.

1. Because even when they’re just trying to do their jobs and get on with their lives, life keeps making their paths cross. They are each other’s last-minute stampede.

2. They never expected each other to occupy the position in their lives that they do, yet there they are. Somehow they have overcome a lifetime of trained disdain for each other’s kind to trust each other. Some kind of merciless serendipity. Inevitability is not a safety net for them. They’re making it up as they go along.

3. Because Cas is basically a multidimensional cosmic horror whose Achilles’ heel is Dean. I remember this scene once from something where there was a girl in the woods, and there is this terrifying dragon who just rescued her from a great evil. The dragon is wounded and bloody on the ground after the fight, with just enough strength to lift its head and make a mournful sound as this frightened girl slowly kneels by it, fear in her eyes, bewildered and sad as she asks, “Why, why did you do that?” She touches the dragon’s face as if she can’t quite believe it, and then the dragon replies, “Because it is right,” and then I think the dragon dies? I don’t remember.

This isn’t to say that I want Cas to die for Dean. My point is that I see Cas as basically an anthropomorphized force of nature. Describe a tornado or a tidal wave, and you might as well be describing angels. It’s not that they don’t have feelings, because Cas clearly has a lot of feelings, but to have a wildfire swear its fealty to you, I mean… fire burns. (To be clear, I’m not excusing Cas for his wrongdoings and do not condone his actions. Reason is not the same as excuse.) Neither Cas or Dean knew what they were getting into because they didn’t know how much Cas burns or that Dean doesn’t fear fire. I think that in their heads they simplify each other to a shape they can understand - Cas idealized Dean, and to Dean Cas is a dude you don’t need to bother with bullshit with anymore. 

Man, I’m sorry that my Dean/Cas meta always ends up sounding like anti-Dean/Cas meta. Basically I am saying that somehow despite all this, they have managed to forge a connection that they don’t always know how to operate. Whether it’s a positive or negative connection is almost beside the point, and is only slightly more important than the ways they don’t connect. But don’t conflate a lack of connection with a lack of relationship and/or history. It’s like the difference between saying “they’re friends, but they don’t understand” or “they don’t understand, but they’re friends”. Chicken or the egg.

…I’m gonna count this for two and jump to five.

5. They surprise each other, always, for better or worse. They are always more than the other gives them credit for.

anonymous asked:

So hey I love you

I hope that in the 1940s dapper gangster AUs that are waiting in the wings right now, Dean snaps Cas’s suspenders and Cas is like, “Stop that,” and when they have to rush out on a case, Cas accidentally puts on Dean’s fedora and then later when they find a minute between the gunfire, that’s when Dean notices. He grabs the hat off Cas’s head and wears it. “Get your own,” he says. But even later, when Dean’s been shot and has one arm over Cas’s shoulder being dragged off to safety, Dean says, “Hey,” all delirious with pain, and puts the hat back on Cas. “Looks good,” he declares, and Cas duly thanks him, and then the warehouse behind them explodes.

Day in the life.

amoktimes  asked:

dean/castiel >:D

  • when or if I started shipping it: Technically early S5, when I started getting into Supernatural. It was like, “Hey Lass, I hear you like overinvested guardian figures who overstep their boundaries.” WHY YES, HOW DID YOU KNOW. “MEET CAS AND HIS IT’S-COMPLICATED, DEAN.” Wooooo! \o/
  • my thoughts: LOL YOU CAN’T JUST SAY “MY THOUGHTS”, THEY ARE THE SIZE OF MOUNTAINS. Narrow that shit down! Okay WHERE DO I START. I project a lot of intercultural relationship issues onto them, and this stems from how I parse Cas’s story as that of the immigrant, the stranger on a strange shore. (HELLO, ISSUE SUE.) This is why the tendency to infantilize him often rubs me the wrong way - his cluelessness is not necessarily because he is a child, but because he is a foreigner. And yet I can also JFDLSKFJSLD about how this is Cas’s coming-of-age story and this is the dizzying horror of first love because I am vast and contain multitudes, okay. WHAT ELSE. I want a whole Big Bang set in croatverse about what happened to them between 2009 and 2014. I love Clairestiel/Dean like a LOT. Somewhere in me are Johnstiel/Dean snippets. Somewhere in me is a whole post-7x02 Waterstiel/Dean fic but I have been kind of pooped writing-wise after DCBB, so we’ll see, I guess. I also still want to write that human!Cas/angel!Dean role-reversal fic someday. IS THIS ENOUGH THOUGHTS? For more thoughts, please refer to “Eventual Proteus” by Margaret Atwood and “Movement Song” by Audre Lorde. THEY CANNOT WASTE TIME, ONLY THEMSELVES OMGGGGGfjdslfds comrade in arms in the same foxhole, you guys. Neither of them expected to occupy this position in each other’s lives, and yet here they are? There is nothing inevitable about them. They draw their own routes, they are their own cartographers, constantly surprising each other. Here are the islands, here is the prime meridian, here is the compass rose, of course, and here is due north. Of course. The only unchangeable thing are the stars, which guide their way, but whose light they are free to ignore as they please, increasingly accustomed as they are to darkness. 
  • What makes me happy about them: Lexhibition’s fics 
  • What makes me sad about them: “Living Backwards” by Aereogramme, “This is the Thing” by Fink, and “2-1” by Imogen Heap because I CANNOT LISTEN TO THESE SONGS LIKE A RATIONAL PERSON ANYMORE, U GUISE ugh ;_____; and the first two songs are croatverse songs, but listening to them these days, it is also relevant to the current timeline. OH CAS, ARE YOU FATED FOR RUIN IN EVERY REALITY? Maybe just the ones where you latch yourself onto Dean. ARGH, and the Imogen Heap song, omg, after 6x20 aired, I listened to it over and over AND OVER because of THAT VID. What’s it called. “First the Earth was Flat”. UGH VID, RUDE, WHY.
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me: I HATE IT WHEN ROMANCE GETS IN THE WAY OF FEELINGS HAHAHAHAHA. idk, for as much as I like Dean/Cas, I think pushing them into a sexual romance narrative can completely flatten what I personally find interesting about them. When I first started reading fics, I got frustrated when the author rushes through the feelings to get to the sexy bits. Like, I think if Cas is going to indulge in sex and romance, it would be the side-effect of something else, of devotion, of love. Sex/romance would not, to Cas, be the crowning moment, y'know? It would not be the point per se, or at least, it would not be how he explains it to himself. Because to Cas love is simple: it is devotion. It’s how he’s loved for millions of years. He loved God and had faith that the silence loved him back. Who taught him love is more than silence? Who taught him love is more than sacrifice, more than acquiescence? …NO ONE, COME TO THINK OF IT, HAHAHAHAHA. I think maybe the Winchesters tried, but Cas didn’t really get it? Oh Cas. AND HERE WE ARE, FOLKS, DROWNING IN OUR OWN TEARS. Here is Cas, keeping Dean in the dark ‘for his own good’ and also because he knew Dean would disapprove and try to stop him, and here is Dean constantly calling on Cas for help because that’s what friends do - they ask each other for help. Right? RIGHT, CAS? IF THERE’S ANYTHING WE CAN DO, CAS. But instead of owning up to his own vulnerabilities, Cas is like, “Nope, I’m good. I miss you though. Okay, gotta go pretend to destroy these alphas, bye!” And then Cas continues to creep on Dean, metaphorically hiding the blood on his hands because he haz a shame. For my further thoughts, see “My Friend” by Khalil Gibran. (HE WOULD BE IN HELL ALONE fjdsklfjs ;____;)
  • things I look for in fanfic: I don’t read much S4 fic anymore. There should be more post-5x02 and pre-5x04 fics. There should also be more 5x04 fics in general. Also Novaks.
  • My kinks: When one of them is like FREAKING OUT, and the other has to shake them out of it and calm them down, like “hey, shut up, be here now”. Clutching each other too tight accidentally. Uncomfortable moments of common ground. “I CARE SO MUCH I’M ANGRY AT YOU”. Teaching each other things like how to fight, how to pronounce the incantations, etc. I’m not sure if these are proper kinks.
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Meh, I don’t really care. 
  • My happily ever after for them: LOL IDK. I’m terrible at giving my characters happy endings. I admit to having a soft spot for Cas getting trapped in his human body, then he bums around on his own for a while, ~finding himself~ and then I remember Lex’s WIP and weep rainbow blood. IDK, I guess it would be like in S5, sans apocalypse, with Sam and Dean doing MOTW stuff, and sometimes they’d call Cas for help with something - and I am unclear as to whether Cas’d be fallen or angeled up again - and Cas would Bobby it up, basically, being Mr. Exposition and Book Of Lore, and sometimes when they have a moment to themselves, Dean and Cas are quiet and contemplative together until sex happens. Yaaaaay. But ask me again in 10 mins and I’ll probably have a different scenario, possibly one in which both of them are dead. Or maybe it’s the end of time, and Dean has been dead for several millenia and Castiel has met and loved many others since then, has been so many other things than the one who raised the righteous man from perdition. But as the universe winks out around him, he thinks of Dean. It hurts a little. It’s bittersweet. And then the lights go out. 

anonymous asked:

Dean has to wonder, how do you talk and angel down from the ledge? He's the one with wings, but Dean gets the feeling Cas isn't gonna use them to stop the impact if he does jump. Hell, Cas can fly away from the ledge itself to plummet, how is Dean supposed to pull him to safety?

you can’t save everyone doesn’t feel like absolution, it’s not weight lifted off your shoulders, it feels like punishment because you’ve been programmed to think that your worth is equivalent to what you can do and how many you can save, and you cannot do this and you cannot save him, you don’t know how to fit into someone’s life who doesn’t want what you’re worth, they just love what you are, but you think what you are hasn’t been worthy of it for a long time, you don’t know what to do with it, with their love, with yourself, so okay, so they love you, maybe you’re beginning to understand, you’re beginning to define the negative spaces, love isn’t just desperation, it isn’t just need, it isn’t just sacrifice, but the one thing that stays the same is the hurt, one thing that doesn’t change is how you’re never good enough, it’s been one shitstorm after another and you don’t need to feel to this, you know that now, there are very few things you need, you’re about to lose one of them, you can’t save everyone, you can’t stop yourself from trying

artandsquee  asked:


…Sometimes when I count to three, I get carried away. Sorry? Set post-5x03.

Dean wakes up alone in the Impala and there’s a crick in his neck, a sour taste in his mouth, and fog settling over the landscape like a veil. He takes a minute, letting isolation fade into silence, which is more peaceful. He should be used to it by now.

When he clambers outside, he doesn’t expect the “Good morning, Dean.”

And there’s Cas, leaning against the trunk, eyes fixed on something Dean can’t see. There are dark circles under his eyes now, a sign of burgeoning humanity. Dean feels selfish for finding them comforting.

“You stayed,” he croaks, and it sounds like a question.

Cas frowns. “Of course.”

Dean smiles.

saltfree-archive-deactivated201  asked:

yes I love that! And instead of the handprint, it'd be a large burn scar without a specific shape - how big would it be though? MAYBE it'd be huge! And the author could explore the social stigma behind burn scarring and also there'd be lots of esoteric narrative about the nature of fire and yes yes yes

Something like this would be a summoning, maybe. It’s not cellphones and voicemails in this AU, but a flick of a match, flame from a zippo. Fiat lux.

For those playing at home, we’re talking about the one where Castiel’s vessel is fire. And in 4x01 when he’s raising Dean from hell, maybe it takes a second for Dean to register what’s going on because the difference between hell fire and this fire is not immediately apparent. Both are burning him out from the inside. Both are claiming the right of restoration.

And if pain makes it real, as he claimed to Sam, then maybe Dean develops a reaction to Firestiel akin to like a transference of Stockholm syndrome, something Pavlovian. This is what the fire means and what it does. There isn’t much difference between infernal fire and divine light. He wakes up from nightmares shivering, but more often than not he wakes up tasting ash.

Phoenixes rising up from their own embers, St. Elmo’s fire leading sailors home, magical ancient salamanders - Dean is full of counter-arguments even now. What if angels are just tricks of the light? But maybe he’s looking at the wrong stories and railing against the wrong injustices.

Consider, for example, Prometheus.