the adventures of grantaire and eponine

No but guys, Parent’s Trap AU with twins Enjolras and Cosette.

Filled under “fics I will never write” BUT I am so inspired by this (and plot twist : it has Valvert, Mariusette, Enjoltaire, Courferre, and Montponine) (don’t underestimate my capacity to include my ships in everything I writte.)

So get this:

  • Valjean and Javert are in love and they adopte adorable blonde baby twins and call them Enjolras and Cosette.
  • But the plot being the plot, they break up. Valjean keeps Cosette and Javert keeps Enjolras. (And yes this is the weirdest arrangement ever but blame the movie not me).
  • And so we have on one hand Cosette and Valjean having pretty much the same relationship they have in the book, sweet and caring, but with a slightly overprotective Valjean. On the other hand we have Javert and Enjolras who deeply love each others, but have trouble communicating and therefore don’t get along that well. With Enjolras being his revolutionary self and Javert being … well … himself.
  • And this could have been their life IF VALJEAN AND JAVERT DIDN’T SEND THEIR KIDS TO THE SAME BLOODY VACATION CAMP.
  • Okay can we take a moment to imagine fucking Cosette and fucking Enjolras AT WAR AGAINST EACH OTHER ??? They are the most determined and savage characters from the book like can you imagine the bloodbath ???
  • And to make it clear, Cosette is the one trapping Enjolras’ room like they do in the movie. Yes Cosette can be evil as fuck.
  • And then obviously they discover the truth because they both have half of a super cheesy 80′s wending picture with Valjean and Javert (just imagine) and they decide to switch places.
  • Okay so for this to work I made some canon divergences BUT BEAR WITH ME GUYS I PROMISE IT WILL WORTH IT TRUST ME.
  • For exemple : at home, Enjolras obviously has Les Amis but Grantaire isn’t part of it. In fact, he doesn’t know Enjolras, because he lives near Cosette. Not Enjolras.
  • At home, Cosette has two best friends : Eponine and Grantaire. (Squad goal amarite ?)
  • At home, Enjolras has Les Amis, Marius, and in a way Montparnasse who shows up sometimes.
  • And therefore when they switch, Enjolras end up with Valjean, Eponine, and Grantaire. On the other side Cosette end up with Javert, Les Amis and Montparnasse.
  • Valjean is super glad to have his daughter back, but can help to notice that she is different. She seems more politics aware, more rebel, she questions more of his decisions (it’s not a bad thing though) … Eponine notices too. And so does Grantaire. Actually he might be … developing some feelings for her ???? Which is odd because Cosette is her best friend and he never felt anything else for her before.
  • And Enjolras is freaking out because this painter guy is really cute and seems to like him, but it’s obviously because he thinks he is Cosette and ANGST.
  • On the other side, Javert is surprised as well by his son. He is way more gentle, speaks to him more, ask him a lot of questions about him. Les Amis are also surprised to see that Enjolras talks a lot more about feminist and prison issues.
  • Also there is a subplot where Cosette notices that Courfeyrac and Combferre like each others and act as a match maker.
  • It works. They make out and everything is great.
  • And Marius is confused as fuck. Because he never considered himself attracted to guys, but since he is back Enjolras seems different more gentle and sweet. And Cosette freaks out as well because he obviously likes Enjolras and not her and damn this guy is cute and ANGST.
  • And one day Montparnasse shows up and immediately realize that it’s not Enjolras for plot reasons. But he promise Cosette he won’t tell.
  • On the other side, Eponine find out as well and make the same promise to Enjolras.
  • AND FINALLY THE TIME OF THE REUNION COMES
  • Also no “Meredith” in this fic because I always found her useless in the movie and I have enough subplots already. (If we really need some obstacle between Valjean and Javert, Javert’s pride will do).
  • Being the only ones who know the truth, Montparnasse and Eponine help the twins to organize the reunion and BAM MONTPONINE HAPPENS !
  • Montponine is love. Montponine is life.
  • No but seriously it will be like Martin and Jenny. They help to organize the whole reunion in a hotel, meet up and go like WELL HELLOOOOOO.
  • (Let me have my ship)
  • So Valvert reunion with every cheesy romcom cliche ever.
  • And yes it means that Enjolras, Cosette, Montparnase, Eponine and Les Amis organize them a big ass romantic dinner in a ship with fireworks.
  • JUST IMAGINE.
  • It also means that Javert threw a hairdryer at Valjean. 
  • SUBPLOTS RESOLUTION : Grantaire finds out that Cosette is a guy and Enjolras freaks out thinking he is going to hate him but Grantaire is like “Are you kidding ? I love you even more as yourself ! I did not fall in love with Cosette ! I fell in love with you !”
  • And they make out and everything is great.
  • And Cosette goes to Marius like “I”m so sorry you thought I was Enjolras you must be so disapointed” and Marius is like “Are you kidding ??? You are so much better then Enjolras !! I love you”
  • And they make out and everything is great.
  • And also at the end you think that Valjean and Javert won’t get back together because Javert leaves with Enjolras again.
  • But !!!! Valjean and Cosette are wanting them home just like in the movie.
  • And Valjean says “I thought for one I should be the one chasing you”
  • And they make out and everything is great.
  • (And Cosette and Enjolras high five each other)
  • (The end)

Okay but…

A fic where Grantaire is the rich son of someone with a lot of political power. And Les Amies kidnap him in order to ransom him back for political change.

They’ve heard this guy’s an asshole but they get a hot mess. It quickly becomes clear that he’s an actual alcoholic and somehow they all become involved in detoxing him, more or less against his will. Joly does all the medical stuff. Courferac gives him hugs. Bosuette trades terrible jokes with him. Musichetta makes really bland, easy to digest food for him. Cosette tells him about adventure and strokes his hair. Eponine synpathises with him about having a shitty family. Maruis talks seriously about how having a shitty family doesn’t have to define you. Combeferre teaches him meditation. Feuily teaches him origami for something to do with his hands. Gavroche tells him dirty jokes when nobody else is around. When he’s feeling better, Behorel boxes with him. Jehan encourages him to write what he’s feeling down, even if he thinks those feelings are ugly and he doesn’t want to share them.

And Enjolras, Enjolras is just there. Enjolras is there at Grantaire’s nastiest, when he’s pushed everyone else away. Enjolras is there to hold his hair back while he pukes. To chase hallucinated spiders our of the room. To listen to Grantaire’s late night confessions that he wishes he’d just die. Grantaire grows to love these guys but he still gets upset and frustrated and pushes them all and when he pushes they all take a step back except Enjolras. Enjolras stays right where he is, no matter how terrible Grantaire is to him.

And Grantaire is just a little in love.

Meanwhile, the kidnaping thing isn’t going to well. They’ve been struggling to contact Grantaire’s father. When he finally answers his phone they put it on speaker and Combeferre states their conditions etc.

Grantaire’s father goes on some massive rant about how useless and worthless Grantaire is and how he never wants to see him again and they’d all be doing him a favour if they killed Grantaire.

Enjolras grabs the phone and hangs up. Then he throws the phone against the wall hard enough to break it. Everyone is stunned, not just by what Grantaire’s dad has said but that they’ve never seen Enjolras this demonstratably angry before.

Enjolras turns and pulls Grantaire into his arms. He tells Grantaire that his father’s wrong about everything in every way. That’s he’s funny and kind and intelligent and yes he has some problems, they all do, but everyone in that room is glad they met him. And his family don’t matter, he’s one of them now. All of Les Aimes joining in with this massive group hug with Grantaire in the middle, telling him how much they care about him and Grantaire just crying on the middle of it into Enjolras’s shoulder because he can’t believe he’s found these people. This family.

Sooo, school is a thing again.
I know you’ve all missed these posts. Unfortunately, oflionsandwolves and I have no classes together this year. But, that doesn’t mean we won’t have University swag and tumblr presence. Not to mention, we live together this year, our apartment is called the Wolf Den, it is a nerd cave of awesome that doesn’t have internet yet and it is so painful I can’t even begin to describe to you the pain. Anyways, yes, school, last year, hella..