the actual best movie

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You remember the first time I drove you?

Yes. Of course. I remember looking at you and thinking: What a handsome man, that kind of face never gets old.

How right you were.

reasons why the princess diaries 2 is actually the best movie ever made

ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember

1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect

2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE

3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”

4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL

5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances

6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit

7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS

8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright

9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia. 

in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man

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♥ L o v e  i s  a  P r o m i s e - for @armorwars​ ♥

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Hey, after all the times I screwed up and you two were there for me? It’s the least I can do.

one of my favorite things about galaxy quest is that they built the set of the ship’s bridge so that they could shake the whole thing without warning, making the cast legit shake all over the place and struggle to keep their balance, but as far as i can tell it actually made it look less realistic

“I want a movie that has a great, heart-warming plot”

“I want a movie that will make me gasp”

“I want a movie that will make me think”

“I want a movie that will make me laugh”

“I want a movie that will make me cry”

“I want a movie with an LGBT main character”

“I want a movie–”

“I want–”

“I–”

so, my buddy littledivinity and i have been talking beauty & the beast a lot, because ‘tis the season, and we somehow stumbled upon the idea of the story being told about a middle aged belle and the beast instead of youngins, and how that would make the story even more resonant.

and then just now i randomly thought, “what if nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor starred in such a film?”, because my soul needs nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor to fall in love again on a movie screen like it needs few other things in this life. plus, you know, musical, bright colors, awesomeness, hurrah!

and then i thought, ‘but wait, actually, what i really want in this life, even more than brightly colored musicals, is more lowkey and lovely fairytale movies like exquisite and incomparable 1998 masterpiece ever after

and just picture it!

nicole kidman is the longtime spinster school teacher who lives in a quaint vaguely magical 19th century-esque country village, but she’s a badass teacher who exposes her students to different philosophies of thought and probably takes them outside for nature studies and calisthenics. (so, basically, miss stacy from anne of green gables.) the school board hates her, probably, and is very suspicious of what kind of IDEAS she’s filling the local kids’ heads with (why does she keep saying it’s okay for girls not to want to be wives and mothers, or that it’s all right for boys to cry???? is it possible that she is A WITCH???), but her parents were very well regarded in the town when they were still alive and so that bought her some respect for awhile. but there’s a new fancy schmancy family with school aged kids in town, and they’re extremely disapproving of miss nicole, and trying to find a way to oust her as schoolteacher and replace her with a man who is probably very similar in temperament to mr. collins from pride & prejudice. a man who will put patriarchal gender roles back into childhood education!

meanwhile, ewan mcgregor is a grumpy old hermit duke or something who once had great wealth and privilege but has fallen into disrepair. maybe someone cursed (magically? complicated vengeance-ly, a la the count of monte cristo? who knows) his family long ago due to their shady rich people business dealings, and his father killed himself to escape the scandal and his mother died of heartbreak and his fiancee who he thought loved him steadfastly dumped him to marry another, and now ewan’s the last surviving member of his once-great family and he just lives alone this grand old manor house that has gone totally to seed. he isn’t an actual beast, because it seems like in this day and age that’s going to require levels of CGI that my quaint b&tb retelling movie just don’t need, but let’s say that he’s quite unshaven and dirty and generally off-putting and he sometimes ventures out into the forest that separates his estate from the village, but is never seen actually frequenting the village. there are abundant rumors that the forest and manor house are haunted by a beast/ghost/warlock/vampire (how does he SURVIVE if he doesn’t come to the weekly market for food???), and everyone knows you don’t go there. also, people like to gossip a ton about his family and the scandal even though it was decades ago and they all dead. because people suck.

so one night, some of nicole’s rowdy teen pupils maybe steal some wine from one of their parents’ liquor cabinets and venture into the woods and dare each other to go past the gate of his manor house, and he catches them at it and gets HELLA PISSED @ THESE UPPITY HOOLIGANS INVADING HIS PROPERTY. kids today!!!!!!!!! he probably locks them in the stables so he can deliver them a 5 hour lecture on why they suck, and also why all of humanity sucks. which isn’t the worst fate ever, but, like, he kind of looks like a straight up crazy ax murderer (crazy hair! crazy beard! tattered clothes! definitely hasn’t bathed this month!!!), so there’s some serious panic in the hearts of these kids.

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anonymous asked:

can i prompt touch starved tony who loves any and all physical contact he has? someone puts a hand on his shoulder? amazing! someone lens into his side at movie night? the best! someone actually hugs him? omg! the avengers start to notice and perhaps do something about it?

Tony is a puppy. He soaks up affection like a sponge. (I threw in some Bucky because I wanted sleepy, helpless Tony.) Look out for under the cut!

You can find this story on my Ao3 here.


Natasha noticed first. She had a leg up on everyone though, having been sent to spy on him. She’d noticed when Pepper would reach out to casually touch him—a pat on the shoulder, playing with his hair, sliding her foot up his calf—and Tony would look ecstatic. At least, as ecstatic as an emotionally constipated person could look. At first she’d thought it was flirting, and Tony was happy to finally have it reciprocated.

But then Jim Rhodes had stopped by and swept Tony up into a hug that brought his feet off the ground, and Tony had made a happy little noise that had… done something to her heart. While Rhodes was visiting, it seemed like they were always touching, whether it was an arm over Tony’s shoulders or Tony pressing his feet against Rhodes’s thigh.

Happy was touchy-feely with Tony, too. Even after boxing matches, when they were both bruised and sometimes bloody but always smiling, they’d lean their shoulders together, or Happy would be escorting Tony somewhere and keep a hand on his elbow. Tony didn’t even fuss, even though usually he would bitch about not needing anyone’s protection.

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funnystarfish  asked:

Yo! Happy st. pattys day! I know this sounds weird, but can you reenact a scene from Beauty and the beast? This movie was released today and I'm in the spirit for some beast and belle action!

Happy St.Patrick’s Day, baby!! 

Lego Batman

So before I say what I think about Lego Batman, I wanna be a sap for a moment and say that I, a stranger on the internet, made a simple post of saying I’m gonna watch this and it’s just heartwarming to see a bunch of people come up and like cheer me on and are excited for me to see it??? I mean?? You’re all more excited than I was lmao. You guys are the best for real.

ANYWAY, if I have to be honest, I rly initially thought it’d just be a lol movie with a ton of references and brilliant jokes but the plot actually holds up srsly damn. But now I get why that Alfred father’s day post got tagged “Lego Batman” so much cuz HOLY BATCOW HE’S LITERALLY GRAND BATDAD IN A 60s BATSUIT I AM WEEPING. PARENTAL LOCK. EVERYTHING.

ALSO!! DICK IS THE PUREST THING. I AM!! SO SO HAPPY!! My blossoming lil ray of sunshine! My innocent acrobatic darling! He’s excited about having 2 dads, and he also calls Alfred Grandpa!!!! aaaAAAAAA

There’s so much I wanna cry over like Batman and Joker’s….. ship. And Barbara’s badass-ness (I even had her sign a balloon on that father’s art lol). Also the robot? I forgot its name, is so cool being able to hang on and climb onto things like an actual bat.

Truly the best Batfam movie.

Iwaoi fluff Headcanons.

I am an absolute hoe for Iwa [and Oikawa I guess] Ask anyone of my mutuals or my friends, they know. Be it his personality, character, quirks; no matter what people may thik of him, I love this boy with my life. Also, Iwaoi is my absolute favourite ship, and since I need something to do while I suffer from writer’s block for chapter 2 of Drowning in my Demons, have this post dedicated to my precious cinnamon buns. So, if you love Iwa [And his Tofu-nugget] as much as I do, sit back and enjoy these little headcanons I came up with.


  • Iwa is definitely the cuddly-type. He loves snuggling in bed, hugging his Godzilla plushie when he’s alone while having some popcorn watching movies. Occasionally, he falls asleep mid-way through the movie, but that’s a rare feat, when this happens, his mom tends to laugh it off and help tuck him snuggly into his bed. However, when Oikawa comes over and they share a bed, he is the small spoon while Tooru is the big spoon. He always ends up nuzzling into the bigger’s chest, and Tooru lovingly stroking his hair. He secretly takes photographs of the raven and sets it as his wallpaper.
  • When reversed and Iwa sleeps over at Oikawa’s house, he never brings his own clothes. I get that people usually see Oikawa to be the type to steal Iwa’s clothes, but for me, I imagine Iwa to mock Tooru’s dreadful fashion sense but steal his hoodies anyway. Tooru has no complaints and lets his boyfriend do what he wants; he secretly loves it because Haji just looks good in over-sized clothes.  
  • Also, bonus, Iwa smacking Tooru with the long-ass sleeves rather than headbutting him. Tooru retaliates by tickling Hajime till he gives in. They collapse onto the bed and Tooru apologises with forehead kisses.
  • When Iwa wakes up, he can barely open his eyes, he expects Tooru to be in bed with him, so when he isn’t, he will very softly call for him. Tooru finds it adorable and showers him with kisses. But when they do wake up in bed together, he will cuddle as close as he can to Oikawa who would probably be using his phone.
  • Tooru trying the face-swap filter on snapchat with Iwa, and casually saying, “These would be what our children would like.” Iwa is a fucking mess and Oikawa is laughing so hard. Also, Oikawa has at least 341 pictures of Iwa with the puppy filter, the fact that he’s eyes are closed most of the time makes it a hundred times funnier. He sends them to Mattsun and Makki, and even those two find Iwa adorable. 
  • Hajime trying to get out of bed but Tooru won’t let him. He’s using kisses and cuddles as a distraction.
  • My headcanon is that Tooru gets sick easily because of how much milkbread he eats. He most commonly gets a flu or a bad cold but they quickly go away after a few days. As for Hajime, he hardly falls ill, but when he does, it’s the most heartbreaking thing. Once he was running an abnormally high fever and had to stay overnight at the hospital? Oikawa spent an entire day trying to perfect a soup and his favourite Agedashi Tofu before bringing it to the raven. Iwa is extremely thankful and promises him kisses when he gets better.
  • Iwa has a dwarf bunny that he loves with all he has, instead of calling it Godzilla, he calls it Tofu because of how white and fragile she is. She was actually a present from his mom as a replacement for not getting him a puppy; he doesn’t mind and is just happy he has something to take care of. He spends hours grooming her fur in his bed and sometimes, she accompanies him as he watches a movie. Iwa has trained her to sit and lie down and even hop. She is also incredibly intelligent given the fact that she will squeak for attention. She is a good bunny and loves Tooru as well, Iwaizumi’s mom jokingly said it’s like Tofu is their shared child.
  • Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s mother sharing cute things their sons did for the other. How Hajime was learning to make milkbread to give it to Tooru on his birthday, and how Oikawa had suggested building a blanket fort before watching Godzilla together. They are close friends and the biggest shippers.
  • When they have the house to themselves, Iwa is the one preparing breakfast, Tooru tries distracting him with a lot of kissing and hugs from behind and now the pancakes are burning. They have a heated make-out session on the countertop before they actually realise the smell of smoke.
  • They take baths in the bathtub together. They end up having a splash war and wetting the entire bathroom. Sometimes Iwa sits in Oikawa’s lap while the brunette washes his hair and hugs him. He also takes this rare chance to leave a few hickies. 
  • Blanket forts being their childhood tradition. Oikawa decorating the blanket fort with fairy lights and throwing in as many pillows as he could possibly find. When Iwa comes over, he has his laptop all prepared with their favourite snacks. Oikawa likes watching Iwa quote lines from the movie, Hajime has no idea he’s paying more attention to him than the actual movie. And it’s best if it stays that way.
  • Hardcore Mario kart wars, there is no fluff, only profanities, cusses and death.
  • Oikawa will tease Hajime with his cereal by holding the box as high as he can, he has lanky limbs so Iwa can’t reach them. As payback, he sneaks out while Oikawa is sleeping before getting a cup of cold water and pouring it on his face, not forgetting to say, “WHO’S THE SHORT ONE NOW ASSHOLE??”
  • Hajime has freckles all over his body; and sometimes he’s really insecure about them. Tooru assures him it’s fine and makes sure to kiss all of them.
  • Look me in the goddamn eye and tell me these two don’t sit together on the bus to training camps and shit. Because I swear, they will sit together and even share ear pieces, sometimes they doze off and fall asleep, Iwa usually resting on Oikawa’s broader shoulders.
  • Iwa likes collecting succulents and small plants. He displays them on his desk or by his window-sill. He gives them names and Tooru thinks it’s both funny and cute.
  • Have some cute flustered Iwa when Tooru calls him babe in front of the team. And also, the entire team letting out whoops and cheers and Iwa just wants to hide in a hole. Sometimes they stare at each other like love-struck idiots and the Matsuhana duo use this amazing opportunity to tease them. Tooru coming up from behind to give Hajime a surprise kiss.
  • Tooru finding every excuse to hold Hajime’s hand, and Iwa giving in.
  • They once went to build-a-bear together and made a stuffed crocodile that Iwa for some odd reasons says is a Zoey. Iwa has it next to his Godzilla plushie.
  • Having so many cheesy dates. A picnic date, stargazing, to the aquarium, the zoo, a waterpark. These two have the cutest most romantic dates and everyone is jealous. Bonus if they get each other presents.
  • Iwa tackling the fuck out of Oikawa after not having seen him for months. Tooru laughs and tries his best to force out a “Did you miss me?” as Iwa lays on his chest. IWaizumi saying in a dead-serious tone, “Of course I did.”
  • During winter, they like cuddling by the fireplace, Iwa is mumbling on about how flippin cold it is, and Tooru just watching him go on endearingly. They have a huge blanket out and everything along with some hot cocoa. Half-way during their cuddling session, Tooru starts kissing Hajime’s neck. He heats up and ask what the hell is he doing and Tooru just smirking saying he’s helping him warm up. Hajime is upset cause it worked.
  • Hajime has cute soft sneezes.
  • Before they fall asleep, Tooru likes singing for Iwa. Some of his favourites are You are my Sunshine, Can’t help falling in love and Perfect. He may not have the best voice but Iwa loves it either way.
  • When Iwa starts falling asleep, Tooru quietly whispers a sweet “I love you” before dozing off too.

I’m dedicating this to some of the few friends I’ve made here, [I’m so sorry if you don’t consider me to be one] and just overall really sweet people.

@aunnoo , @rosaliaisabawse , @exella@trashytacosan