1. Last year the doctor told me that this kind of sadness is inherited. That they have discovered that sometimes it skips a generation. That the darkness inside me did not grow from nowhere it came from somewhere. I thought to myself, that there is a reason why I have always thought my heart was an attic where I hid pieces of myself. Pieces no one ever wanted.
2. The first boy I ever chose to show this sadness to decided to take it from my attic heart and planted it inside my soul instead. It was easy for him. My soul was a garden I showed him too soon. And he decided that meant he was allowed to take anything he wanted to.
3. Every man who has dared to love me since, has stared at this dark ivy covered soul like it is a haunted house, and I have never tried to explain the thing I have always known. Because men do not have to learn how to open their own selves and lock themselves up again. They are taught to be themselves and the world will accept them better that way. We are taught to break our bodies to be loved. We are taught to confuse sex and love.
4. I knew a girl whose father left her and she took all of her love for him and ate it to comfort herself. People joked how she lived in the kitchen. No one saw her tears when she ate.
5. A friend once told me that she locked herself inside the closet when her parents fought because her father beat her mother and she wished herself into the wood, just so she knew what it was like to be an inanimate object that couldn’t hear or feel anything.
6. My mother told me, that it is the way of the world for girls to grow into women by locking secrets inside themselves. Till now I still imagine every woman I have ever met as a big beautiful house. Full of secret rooms, hiding places, once filled with innocent laughter and joy. Now slightly sad and forgotten because of all those lost places inside them full of secrets.
Things You Can do to Help Disabled People That Don't Cost A Cent
Do not talk about an obviously disabled person in front of them as if they can’t hear or understand you.
Do not talk to a disabled person’s companion instead of them.
Ask permission before touching people, or their wheelchairs/other equipment. Even if you want to help.
Ask disabled people about their lives and really listen to their answers. (Within reason. Asking people personal questions about their sex lives, for example, is rude unless you are very close to them and they’ve communicated they’re OK with that).
Listen to what they say whether they are speaking, writing, typing, using text to speech, using a letterboard, using PECS, gesturing, using sign language, or using any other form of communication. People who cannot speak can still communicate.
Stand up for people you see getting bullied.
Understand that disabled people don’t just need friends, they can be friends, too.
Every public place does not need to have loud, blaring music and TVs with flashing screens.
If you blog, put bright, flashing images that can trigger seizures under a cut so that people with seizures can avoid looking at them.
If a job can possibly be done without a person driving, don’t require candidates to drive/have a driver’s license, and don’t interview candidates and then reject them because they don’t drive.
When talking to someone who has trouble speaking or stutters, and takes a long time to speak, wait for them to answer. Don’t keep repeating the question or pressuring them. Yes, if you’re like me and your mind is going really fast and you forget what people are saying if they take too long, it can be hard to be patient. Do it anyway.
If you are talking to a deaf person, make it easier for them to lip-read by facing towards them while looking at them, and not covering your mouth with your hands.
If you are talking to someone with hearing impairment or auditory processing disorder, it is more helpful to slow down or rephrase what you’re saying than to just speak more loudly.
Some disabled people have difficulty understanding nonliteral language such as metaphors and idioms (e.g., “a stitch in time saves nine”). If you’re talking to someone like this, try explaining what you mean by these figures of speech, or just not using them.
Recognize that failure to make eye contact does not mean someone is lying to you. It may be uncomfortable for them.
Recognize that unwillingness to go out to loud, crowded bars does not mean someone isn’t interested in socializing with you.
If people have difficulty spelling, or using the appropriate jargon/terminology for your social group, do not assume they’re stupid. You may need to paraphrase some “jargon” for them.
Recognize that a person can need time alone and it doesn’t mean they don’t like you or want to be with you. It’s just something they need so they can function at their best.
If a person does not recognize you, do not assume they don’t care about you. They may be face-blind.
If a person does not remember your birthday (or other major names, numbers, or dates) do not assume they don’t care about you. They may simply have a bad memory.
Understand that a disabled person’s talents, however esoteric, are real, not unimportant “splinter skills.”
Colorblindness affects more than just knowing what color something is. To a colorblind person, colors that they can’t see will look the same if they have the same degree of lightness/darkness. That means that to a red-green colorblind person, a red rose on a green background will blend in instead of contrast starkly, and the Chicago CTA El map will be difficult to understand. Understand that something that stands out to you and seems obvious may literally not be visible to a colorblind person.
Don’t tell them “but you look so normal.” But, if they accomplish something you know they were working really hard to do, it’s great to compliment them on it.
Understand that a person can be working incredibly hard to do something and may still not perform as well as you’d like them to, as well as the average person would, or as well as the situation demands.
If someone has a major medical problem, disability, or chronic illness, then just eating some special healthy diet or exercising more isn’t going to cure it. It might help, it might hurt, it might do nothing, but they’ve probably heard it before, and it’s none of your business in any case.
A person with OCD knows that checking or counting or whatever compulsion they perform won't really prevent disaster from happening, it’s just a compulsion. That doesn’t stop them from feeling the need to do it anyway. A person with anxiety may know at least some of their fears are irrational or unlikely to occur. That doesn’t stop them from feeling anxious. A person with trichotillomania may know it hurts them to pull out their hair or pick at their skin, but they have trouble stopping themselves anyway. A depressed person may know they would feel better if they got out of their house and talked to people, but that doesn’t make them feel any more up to doing those things. A person who hallucinates may know the hallucinations aren’t real, but that doesn’t make them go away or feel less upsetting. You see the pattern? You can’t cure people with mental illnesses by telling them they’re being irrational or hurting themselves. If it were that easy, they’d have cured themselves already.
Do not tell a person with ADHD or mental illness that they should not be taking medication. This is a personal decision. Furthermore, since medications have wide-ranging effects on people’s bodies and minds and often unpleasant side effects, most people taking medications have thought through the issue, done a cost-benefit analysis, and decided that the ability to function better is worth it. Their decision should be respected.
A disabled person with intellectual disability who has the academic or IQ abilities of, say, a seven year old does not actually have the mind of a seven year old. They have different life experiences, needs, stages of life, bodies, and so on.
If a disabled person is having a meltdown, they are not angry, they are terrified. They’re not throwing a tantrum or being aggressive, they have gone into fight or flight. The best thing you can do is remain calm yourself and help them calm down. It may help to keep your distance, keep your voice low and calm, let them retreat to a safe place if they know to do that, or remind them to do so if they don’t. Reasoning with them won’t work well because they’re unlikely to be able to hear and understand you. The worst thing you can do is start yelling yourself, threatening them, be violent to them, cut off their escape route, or get right up in their personal space.
Other ideas? Please reblog and add more. The more the merrier.
Growing up, my parents would always tell me to be properly dressed around my brothers. Never mind that they were walking around in short boxer briefs, it was me who had to be presentable. I was the girl, after all.
In school, I was always taught that the way I dressed affected a boy’s education. I was taught that the slight peek of my shoulder was enough to get me sent to the head office. It was much too distracting, because after all, a boy’s education had to be more important than a girl’s. At least, that was what they were teaching me.
This is why I’m a feminist.
I’m a feminist because it is 2017, and when I talk about how unfair it is that a professional athlete gets to walk away from the accusation of raping a girl without a single ding to their career, I’m some sort of radical that needs to calm down. Because that poor girl’s life will never be the same, but said athlete’s career is perfectly intact.
I’m a feminist because my aunt says things like, “Oh, those feminists, they just need to shave their armpits and get over it.” Because somehow the grooming of my body hair has everything to do with the rights I’m fighting for.
I’m a feminist because people still think you must have a vagina to be considered a woman.
I’m a feminist because I am 20 years old, and when I tell people I’m not sure I want to have kids, they look at me like I just defied all womankind.
I’m a feminist because when mothers choose to work rather than stay at home with their children, they aren’t doing “enough.”
I’m a feminist because when fathers choose to stay at home with their children rather than work, they somehow aren’t as “manly.”
I’m a feminist because parents still won’t let their sons play with Barbies.
I’m a feminist because young boys are taught that crying is bad. Showing emotion is bad, better to bottle it up and never feel. If you cry, you’re a girl, and no one wants to be a girl.
I’m a feminist because when my family talks about the Women’s March that happened yesterday, they say things like, “What’s protesting going to change?” and “They’re honestly just wasting their time. Nobody’s going to listen to them.” Never mind that the country we are living in found its freedom through protesting—No Taxation Without Representation. But I suppose that’s okay. It was men protesting then.
I’m a feminist because when my aunt saw a picture of a man marching with women yesterday, she snorted and said, “What’s he doing there? Doesn’t he have something better to do?” Her seven year old son was sitting next to her.
I’m a feminist because a highly qualified politician lost the presidential election to a less than mediocre businessman who based his campaign on misogyny, racism, bigotry, and slander. Because this country would rather see an over privileged, racist, homophobic, white man, whose years of experience sums up to zero, in office rather than a woman whose qualifications are more than his will ever be. Because I somehow have to have years of experience before I can even get my first job, but Donald Trump can get sworn into office without a single day of political experience.
I’m a feminist because the President of the United States speaks vilely of women and all minorities, and I’m the terrible one for disliking him.
I’m a feminist because I get made fun of for being a feminist.
I’m a feminist because I want the next generation of girls to live in a better world than mine.
I’m a feminist for these reasons and so many others.
So, no matter what it is, you just have to go
with whatever makes you smile, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you
feel enthusiastic, and connected to something… That’s it. That’s everything
right there. It doesn’t matter what you are. Just be passionate about it. ( x )
Jungkook was a tall guy, handsome with all those ethereal artwork
tattooed on his arms..and your best friend. He was by your side
whereas you faced a painful heartbreak, caressing your hurt soul for
as long as you needed him. But how much can a friendship withstand if
one of the two develops feelings?
You are beautiful in your own right. You are a person who has never existed before. You are unique and special. You are bringing a little more goodness into the world just by being brave enough to be yourself.
aries ~There is a woman breaking glass ceilings and leading the way. She stands in her own fire and charges from the gates of heaven with fresh eyes and radiance
taurus ~There is a woman who touches with her gloss body and makes art with the world. She is holding the paintbrush of god, creating beauty, comfort, and pleasure
gemini ~There is a woman who can change the world with her voice. Her mind is constantly blossoming with the daisies of cosmic messages, she writes the thoughts of God
cancer ~There is a woman powerful enough to shatter the laws of physics if you are in danger. She can erupt a force of terror upon those who threaten your little world together, child, lover, sister, brother
leo ~There is a woman whose world is a stage, who uses the senses of her heart to hear all things, whose love illuminates, nourishes, and sustains, there is a woman whose love moves the planets
virgo ~There is a woman working tirelessly to hold the whole earth together. Her mind is weaved with tapestry of crystal genius, standing in a shadow that casts more light than you could ever know
libra ~There is a woman holding down the floor in the court of law and justice, righteousness and grace. She is fighting for equality and love and acceptance in a world that breaks her heart
scorpio ~There is a woman who dreams the dreams of witches, demons, and angels, but she keeps it a secret and battles on. She is a leader of souls and raw spiritual energy, a sage, a crone, a survivor
sagittarius ~There is a woman who hears the soul of the world and translates it for you. Her wisdom is luminance, her joy is a prayer for your spirit. She is a teacher, a guide, she is laughter, wine, and life
capricorn ~There is a woman staring down violent opposition day after day, it is not enough to exist, but to shine a midheaven sun, let ambition guide, and cultivate a life of wisdom and meaning
aquarius ~There is a woman with an exquisite mind, endlessly sheltering and cherishing humanity with radiant love from a hidden crystal. She is fighting valiantly, and thanklessly for the soul of the world
pisces ~There is a woman who knows the way, desperate to return to a place of peace, and yet she stays to embrace and destroy your pain, she makes the ultimate sacrifice
Super Mario Odyssey: Peach’s Journey and Reclamation
*ODYSSEY SPOILERS, I GUESS* After Mario and Cappy’s quest is complete and they save Peach and Tiara from a forced marriage to Bowser (and Peach rejects advances from both Bowser AND Mario) they do something really cool. Instead of just heading back to the Mushroom Kingdom to sit/stand around, they go on a badass vacation through all of the kingdoms that they didn’t get to experience fully whilst kidnapped… and with SO MUCH STYLE.
Cap Kingdom: Bonneton
Cascade Kingdom: Fossil Falls
Sand Kingdom: Inverted Pyramid
Wooded Kingdom: Steam Gardens
Lake Kingdom: Lake Lamode
Cloud Kingdom: Nimbus Arena
Lost Kingdom: Forgotten Isle
Metro Kingdom: New Donk City(the name still makes me lol)
Seaside Kingdom: Bubblaine
Snow Kingdom: Shiveria
Luncheon Kingdom: Peronza Plaza
Ruined Kingdom: Crumbleden (I love the contrast in this one)
Bowser’s Kingdom: Souvenir Shop(Peach even wears a badass fireflower yukata here as if to give Bowser the finger)
Moon Kingdom: Honeylune Wedding Hall(I like that she wears her black coat here in contrast to the white veil she was forced to wear for the wedding)
Mushroom Kingdom: Peach’s Castle
After her world tour, Peach returns to her castle and opens the borders of the Mushroom Kingdom to the world, stating:
“My travels with Tiara were wonderful - so many memories! And I realized something… How important it is to see different things and talk with different people, that no matter what kingdom you’re in, people smile with the same little sparkle! We have to do what we can with our time to put smiles on as many faces as possible! So I’ve decided to invite people from all around the world to the castle!“
This game really made me appreciate Princess Peach
During my journey of understanding and accepting my autism, I’ve focused a lot on “can’t”.
I “can’t” go to parties. I “can’t” go to uni. I “can’t” travel or keep my flat clean.
A lot of people have, for a lot of different reasons, been upset with this, and I get it.
If they love me, it’s sad to think I’m resigning myself to a limited kind of life.
If they don’t love me, they think I’m whining and not pushing myself enough. That I’m weak. Spoiled.
And I get all that… especially when it comes from people that know me.
That’s because there’s a soft “can’t” and a hard “can’t”.
I could, technically, go a day without food or I could lift something as heavy as me.
People understand that when I say I “can’t” do that, it’s a soft “can’t”. Like, I could push myself beyond what’s healthy, and it’d suck ass, and you’re a jerk if you expect me to do this. Technically I can, but you’d understand my “can’t”.
A hard “can’t” is then an actual “can’t”. I can’t survive without food. I can’t lift a car.
So far so obvious, I guess.
But the thing is the world never accepts a soft “can’t” from disabled people.
My wife “soft can’t” do the shopping for my whole family for the weekend we’re staying with them. So my mum asks her anyway, because my wife is a sweet and giving person and I’m the only one who sees her shaking when she comes back.
I “soft can’t” hold down a nine to five job, but because me crying in the break room, shutting down during my hours off and because my wearing headphones during my lunch break instead of talking to my coworkers is just snobbery, people think I’m being lazy or spoilt when I say I “can’t” do it. Even though I’ve been fired for that kinda shit before.
If you know me you’ve seen me push through my soft “can’t"s all my life, and I was forced to so often that even I didn’t realize I “couldn’t”, because other people knew better and I was just spoiled and either people broke down just like me when I couldn’t see them, or I was just a weird, entitled, difficult child like everyone said.
But I’m realizing a soft “can’t” is still a fucking “can’t”. Because abled people aren’t denied that kind of “can’t”. We understand that if an abled person avoids physical or mental pain or exhaustion, that’s just them being sensible. People have a rough idea of what they “can’t” do, and they expect that at least part of the pain and difficulty in disabled people’s lives is just pushing through their limitations to reach the same “can” and “can’t"s as they experience and respect.
Of course the trope of the good disabled person pushing through to impress even abled people with their accomplishments has been discussed before.
But my thing right now is just about claiming or reclaiming “can’t”. I don’t have to, or shouldn’t be expected to, suffer through my soft “can’t"s any more than an abled person.
So fuck you, world! I can’t be outside in summer. I can’t handle your manipulations. I can’t perform. I can’t live on my own. I can’t have a perfect life. I’m not a spoiled brat, dad. My pain counts just as much.
And my can'ts count. I’m already pushing myself through difficulties you’ll never understand, just to stay alive. Respect my limits. I will, whether it pisses you off or not.