[Petra Venj] She’s horrible. She’s always been horrible, and she has those awful green eyes, and she thinks I’m a murderer -
[Cayde-6] Aw, come on. She’s not so bad - you just don’t know her that well.
[Petra Venj] She is. I didn’t WANT them to die. You know I didn’t. I just - I just -
[Cayde-6] We’ve all had to make tough calls, Petra. Don’t make you a bad person. Barkeep! Another round? Yeah, yeah. Put it on my tab.
[Petra Venj] It’s just not fair. Haven’t I done enough?
[Cayde-6] Of course you have! More than enough. Everyone knows it. Even the Queen-
[Cayde-6] Hold on now, Petra, I didn’t mean to-
[Petra Venj] She’s not - she’s not - she can’t be -
[Cayde-6] Wait! I’m sorry - I’m sorry! Look! Look at this! Everyone’s dead! It’s not just Mara!
[Cayde-6] See? Look at my cloak! Andal, too! And…and….um…
[Petra Venj] If only she could see us now. What a sorry sight.Holding back the Darkness, one box of tissues at a time.
[Cayde-6] You’re okay. We’re okay. It’s okay, now. Ha! Thank the Traveler Ikora isn’t around. It’ll be our little secret. Barkeep! Yeah, one more.
[Petra Venj] Thanks. It-it’s just that, you know, I used to have some kind of - of - of purpose, and now -
[Petra Venj] Now I’m just a weepy ex-pirate with a glittery, gold eyepatch.
[Petra Venj] Where did you find this, by the way?
[Cayde-6] Trade secret, sorry.
[Petra Venj] It’s quite smashing.
[Eris Morn] I am not certain what I expected, but this is far more pathetic.
[Cayde-6] Eris! You made it! Here, have a drink. Barkeep! Barkeep!
[Eris Morn] I…Fine. One.
[Petra Venj] Eris! Eris. I’m…I’m glad you came. Because - because I think that - *hic* - I think that Cayde and I have gotten drunk and maudlin, and we’ve been talking about how everyone is dead. Mara, Andal…
[Petra Venj] And Mara, and Andal…
[Petra Venj] And Mara…
[Eris Morn] And Sai Mota, Vell Tarlowe, Eriana -
[Petra Venj] They’re all -
[Petra Venj] I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!
[Eris Morn] Hush, hush. Come here. I forgive you, you dolt.
[Petra Venj] Eris. Eris. Where can I get a hat like yours? Like a little kitty. Here, kitty, kitty.
[Cayde-6] Uh -
[Eris Morn] Do you know - that was Eriana’s name for me. And I had a name for her, too - Fireheart, I called her.
[Eris Morn] She was so brave.
[Eris Morn] So radiant.
[Cayde-6] Eris! Stop! You broke Petra!
[Cayde-6] Eris? Not you too!
[Petra Venj] We’re pack now! Pack! You hear me, Eris? You an me an Cayde, we’re…we’re….
[Eris Morn] But why are you wearing a sparkly gold eyepatch?
I am so thankful for BAP. I didn’t even realize how much I’ve missed them. How much I missed seeing them on stage killing every single millisecond – while also just enjoying every moment on stage they have with their audience. I missed their stage presence and how they give their 102% with every single performance. I missed each of the members and also how much they just care for one another and how much it shows. And I missed their nonconformist music and their great all genre encompassing nature. I missed BAP. Thank you for coming back.
Request: Hanbin makes mix-tapes for his ex-girlfriend but she throws them away, so you listen to them instead
A/N: It’s finally here! so many people have asked me about this and today i finally had some time and wrote the next part c: i think the next one is gonna be the last chapter. if you haven’t read part 1 and 2 yet, stop right here and click on the links to read them first.
you should really listen to this song while reading this, k i am done, i hope you like it!
It had been almost 6 months since then. Since you had met Hanbin and blabbered nonsense till you two kind of grew fond to each other. You could have never imagined what an idiot he actually was– a cute idiot. Sadly a very cute, dumb attractive idiot who held your heart even firmer now where you two knew each other better.
“Yoooooo Y/N, open the door!”, a voice called from the front door. You sighed, speaking of the idiot.
“Hanbin, how often did i tell you not to visit so early in the morning when–”, he shoved a piece of bread into your mouth and entered the apartment without another word. “I got us some coffee and food but i can see you’re already eating it”, he smirked, his eyes glancing at the sandwich that you were already chewing on. “Hanbin, do you have no friends? Why are you always bothering me??”, you asked with your mouth full, ignoring his comment. Not that you minded him always showing up at the most inappropriate times (no really you, didn’t) but at least you had to pretend like you were absolutely annoyed by it.
“Shut up and eat your sandwich, we’re already late”, he said with a hint of excitement and mysteriousness in his voice. That only meant he wanted to take you to one of his crazy adventures again. Like that one time when he brought you to the zoo at 3 am in the morning to show you a monkey that looked just like you.
“What– where are we going at this time of the day?”, it wasn’t like you didn’t want to spend time with Hanbin, however your brain was still half asleep right now and therefore not ready to go on some of his weird adventures. But seeing the glint of happiness in his eyes, how could you say no to that? You sighed.
Hanbin made an entire secret out of it the whole ride, as always, not telling you where the hell he was taking you. He could have already planned to kill you in his head and you wouldn’t have a clue about it. “I really wanna know–”, “We’re almost there!”, he interrupted you immediately, knowing too well what you were gonna ask again.
“The beach?”, you got out of the car to see the waves hitting the rocks from the distance. This was the first time he brought you to a nice quiet place normal people would go to. You inhaled the fresh air and already took your shoes off to meet the soft layer of sand underneath your feet. It was so beautiful, the air felt different, the water was quietly singing along with the rustling of the trees and the sun was almost high up, sending its warm radiation down on earth to make up for the time it couldn’t be there.
"I wanna show you something", he took your hand into his and for a while both of you walked in silence. It felt nice.
For a millisecond it felt like both of you were a couple. How often you had imagined this, as cliche as it sounded but you did and you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat going faster with each passing second.
Hanbin stopped in front of a cliff. “We’re gonna get up there okay?”, his eyes met yours with a smile. “Okay”, you tried to not let your anxiety overtake your voice. It was a pretty high cliff, you noticed.
He seemed to sense your fear and squeezed your hand. In times like these Hanbin never said anything. But he made sure to bring his message across somehow. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, though it didn’t really matter. His calming gaze and his firm touch made you completely forgot what you were doing right now. As you two carefully went up, higher and higher, Hanbin never let go of your hand, making sure you were safe.
On the top, there was a breathtakingly pleasing view welcoming you. It was crazy, everything looked even more beautiful up there. The water was shining in a gorgeous blue, mixing into one with the reflection of the sun that was glowing in a dark orange. It felt like you could see the whole world from up here, it felt like you could just join those birds that were flying off into the sky. You inhaled the air, which felt different than from before. It immediately placed a smile on your lips.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”, Hanbin came up from behind. You didn’t even notice that he was still holding your hand. He took a seat on a rock and pulled you down to sit beside you. “Stay here”, his voice sounded demanding before he disappeared behind you. Before you could ask him where he was going, he came back already with a guitar in his hand.
“I always come up here when i need time to think and when i think, i come up with most of my songs. That’s why i always leave my baby here”, Hanbin patted the guitar as if he was really holding a baby right now. You laughed. “I never brought anyone up here”, he gave you small smile which was so full of affection, “not even–”, he didn’t finish his sentence and only looked down. The smile was gone and his eyes had the same look whenever he thought of no one else but his ex.
Eunhae was the only reason that stood between the both of you. Whenever you felt like she disappeared from his mind and he was thinking of you only, letting you into his world little by little, she would come back and ruin progress you had made with him. It really hurt, not only you but also Hanbin.
“Hanbin”, you weren’t quite sure what you wanted to say. But you just wanted him to stop building up a wall between the both of you right after you two were closer than before. “Play a song for me”, you asked quietly. “Sure, which one?”, his eyes were back on you and you avoided his gaze because you were too scared to see her reflection in there instead of yours. “No i mean a song only for me. A song that you play when you think of me.”
Hanbin blinked at you a few times, obviously taken aback by your request. His fingers stroke over the guitar strings slowly, making you a little excited for no reason. He hesitated. You looked into his eyes and waited, waited for him to play. As soon as you had met his eyes, you knew he wouldn’t– he would never play a song for you, you realized, because he didn’t love you. He only had eyes for Eunhae.
In this moment the thing you were the most afraid of was confirmed now and although you knew it all along, you had always hoped that you could make him change his heart. But who were you to do that anyway.
Before you would have started yelling at him in frustration, you pulled the guitar away from him. “If you don’t have one, i have one”, nothing mattered anymore, Hanbin could and would never satisfy the hunger of your selfish heart, so you just started playing, letting your feelings overtake you for once. Only this time.
I hate you, don’t leave me
I feel like I can’t breathe Just hold me, don’t touch me And I want you to love me But I need you to trust me Stay with me, set me free But I can’t back down No, I can’t deny That I’m staying now ‘Cause I can’t decide Confused and scared I am terrified of you
I admit I’m in and out of my head Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said Just hear me out before you run away ‘Cause I can’t take this pain
I hate you, don’t leave me
When you were finished, you didn’t even wait for him to say anything. Not that he had something to say anyways except for “I’m sorry”, but that was the least you wanted to hear from him right now. Wasn’t it enough that he didn’t return your feelings?
You couldn’t help but feel your eyes getting wet as you stood up and ran off. For a moment you stopped when your eyes met the steep way that you both had went up. Either you were waiting for Hanbin to help you who was the last person you wanted to face right now or you were going down alone, risking to hurt you.
What could have hurt more than Hanbin right now, was all you thought when you carefully took a step forward. Your knees were shaking and you could barely hold yourself together.
“Stop!”, you heard his voice from behind, “Are you out of your mind?!”, he grabbed your arm and turned you around to look at his angry face. “Don’t touch me!”, you yelled back, harshly pulling your arm away. A little too harsh because in that moment you lost your balance and almost fell backwards. if it wasn’t for Hanbin getting a hold of you– you didn’t want to imagine what would have happened then.
You met his face, this time it looked softer, his anger was replaced by concern only. It was the last to make you cry. “Don’t touch me when you don’t mean it”, you repeated, this time quietly in between your soft sobs.
The warmth was gone, even if it hurt, what hurt more were his hands that slowly let go of your body, making you feel naked all of a sudden. This time it wasn’t Hanbin but you who had a broken heart…
Kagura to Shinpachi: “Everyone in Edo’s like that. They’re so cold and insensitive towards people. That’s the smart way to live your life. People like you who care about other people are idiots. In the end, the idiots are just used. But I like those idiots better.”