the 1st one is funny lol

3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire among them.

3 vampires are having a competition to prove who’s the most vicious vampire among them. The strongest one started 1st, “watch this,” He said as he flies so fast, about 100 miles/hour. After only 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth. “what happened?” they asked. “did you see that house over there?” “yes?” “well.. I killed the entire family and sucked the blood dry!” “wow!? fascinating, as expected from the strongest vampire” Then the eldest one takes the next turn “watch and learn,” he said as he flies even faster, about 120 miles/hour. After only 5 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth and his neck. “what happened??” they asked. “did you see that village over there?” “ye..yes?” “well.. I killed every last person on that village and sucked the blood dry!” “wow!? magnificent! truly amazing, we can expect no less from the eldest one!” Finally the last turn belongs to the fastest one, “don’t blink or you’ll miss it” he said as he flies really fast, even faster than the other two, about 140 miles/hour. After only a mere 30 seconds, he comes back with blood all over his mouth, his neck, and his nose. “wh..what happened???” they asked. “did you see that big ass tree over there?” “ye..yes?!” “well.. I didn’t”

Me watching Captain America:Civil War

the 1st time: *trying to contain my screams* OMG my children please don’t fight, you are a beautiful family, stay together *crying* STOOOP this hurts me

the 2nd time: LOL why I cried?, this is so funny, this is a cute childs fight, Dads are having problems because of an old love, and kids choose to support one of them and they fight and when everything is going out of control, dads take thought and they give themselves a time to heal wounds

160612 KTR - Leeteuk talking about Super Junior’s funny experiences on the plane :)

Leeteuk said Super Junior had lots of of funny experiences on the plane. 1st one, they often reply to FA’s greetings by saying all together “Thank you, well done” and they are so pleased with the responses, so the airlines often give them more service. And when the FAs give them hot towel, they pretend to feel the heat on their hands. Recently when Leeteuk went to Paris, he took foreign airline and they didn’t give him small pillow even though it’s about 10 hours journey. He’s confused what to say and just asked “No cushion?” awkwardly. At the end the manager asked the FA to give him the cushion ㅋㅋ 

Leeteuk: When our members are on the plane, we like to stand up together and greet the staff on the plane. Don’t know how this has been spread and someone even posted on SNS. A lot of the airline staff have seen the video, and they all commented that they wanted to meet us on the plane, because this kind of greetings would make them feel very good and happy. Also, they distribute hot towels on the plane, right? They will say “Be careful, it’s hot” when they do. Everytime our members will receive the hot towel and deliberately act exaggeratedly saying “Oh oh oh so hot!”, and pretend to throw the towel away! And joke with the staff on the plane.

Also, the staff on planes don’t like passengers often order ramen because cooking ramen on the plane is very tiring. Even though I know about this, i still order everytime, i will ask the staff “If it’s ok, i want to order ramen.”, then everytime i will ask the members “Ah, i am ordering ramen, if you want, order together now, otherwise the staff will be tired!”

trans: MoonsLounge | trulyhae

me on april 1st
  • Me: *stabs several pedestrians and relentlessly runs over old woman*
  • Police: FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
  • Me: But guys-
  • Police: DON'T SAY A WORD! HANDS UP! DON'T MAKE US SHOOT!
  • Me: Guys c'mon april fools lol it was a joke
  • Police: ayyy u got us u joker, have a safe one man, stay warm