the hatred to your love

Moon Signs:

Aries: Understanding the world through the palms of your hands. Touching everything that is tangible. Internal temper-tantrums that make your blood run hot. Struggling to contain your emotions; being outraged one minute, and playful the next. A secret adrenaline junkie. Being addicted to doing things the hard way. Becoming passionate about new ideas too easily. Becoming passionate about new people too easily. Falling in love quickly and roughly. Looking through eyes that watch the world burn, manic and breathless. You are the infinitely relight-able fuse at the end of a firework, or a bomb.

Taurus: A slave to familiarity. Possessing a dragon hoard consisting of antiques, or the things in which you treasure most. Speaking before you think. The lavish romantic; lover of good times and calm surroundings. The pursuit of pleasure. Slow to forget, slower to forgive. Unfamiliar with compromise. The Aphrodite of love, and the Dionysus of luxury. A social butterfly, yet undoubtedly loyal. A distaste for messy emotional outbursts; being naturally self-contained. Guided by the firm, steady hand of desire. You are the lady and the lord, peaceable and regal and charming in all things. 

Gemini: Feeling with your mind, being frustrated with emotions you can’t logically understand. The uncontrollable urge to interact with others, needing intellectual stimulation in order to function. Studying a billion different subjects in one day. A lover of literature, or just simply the words of people. Distancing yourself from emotion, never really knowing how you ‘feel’ about an issue. Always the Devil’s advocate. Constantly trying new things; needing change to keep both of your personalities happy. You are the mental immigrant, comfortable only when you’re foreign.

Cancer: Omnipotent in regards to emotions. Fearing change, and hating superficiality. The unexpected jokester. Moods that change faster than the weather. The emotional hoarder; fears throwing away anything at all. Falling into their own pain like a well and drowning themselves in it. Adopting all types of people into your ‘family’. Their own worst enemy. Offense taken towards indifference. The passive-aggressive problem avoider who leaves a trail of crumbs for their partner. You are the sea witch, who has the depth of the entire world contained inside of her, threatening to spill out.

Leo: Praying to the stars to make you one of them. Wanting to burst from a lack of affection, or attention. Hands that flail dramatically while telling a story. Needing confirmation that somebody really does love you, and feeling terribly vulnerable because of it. Wanting to shout your love, and hatred, from the hilltops- like an actor in a bad movie. Smiles that make people believe in heaven. Being painfully defensive when someone hurts your pride. Acting kingly or queenly when a situation gets uncomfortable. You are the physical embodiment of the sun, come down from the sky to bring light to Earth.

Virgo: Secretly enjoying the little things that you’re appreciated for. The woman who hides behind the fan to avoid unwanted attention. Routines biggest cheerleader. The best counselor you will ever encounter. The fine eye that takes a sledgehammer to their own self-esteem. The original skeptic. Raised eyebrows at those who put their faith blindly. A face of apathy, and a mind of curiosity. Surrounding yourself with invisible barriers, hoping that somebody finds a way through them. You are the analyst, struck the hardest by your own discerning eye.

Libra: Inevitably becoming the mediator in all conversations. Deep-seated desires to mold your life into the perfect balance of both Yin and Yang. Debating an issue for so long that everybody around you groans. A refined, attractive aura that makes you seem doubly gracious. The war for peace. Falling in love so, so young. Always feeling fickle. Having to have the last word. Finding your own strength through other people. Feeling so intensely vulnerable because of your uncertainties. You are the gentle judge, who will not cede when staring into the eyes of unfairness.

Scorpio: Not accepting any gray areas in life, living in a world of black and white. Emotions so intense that your teeth chatter, even while your face remains stoic. Living a secret life as a private investigator. Feeling raw when you fall in love, because of how deeply it cuts you. Being horribly satisfied with your obsessions. Internally burning down everything you once knew in order to be reborn. A phoenix in your own right. Looking into the mirror in order to confront your own demons, seeing dirty words stamped onto your forehead. You are a white flag on fire, spitting in the face of surrender.

Sagittarius: Mr. Brightside and the lover of open space to roam. Feeling gagged by routine, like a dentist has her hands down your throat. Throwing yourself off of the cliff towards possibility; getting taken advantage of. That deep-seated desire to leave an impression on people, like goose pimples after a gust of cold air. Being a little too honest. Experiencing highs and lows that make you seem like you’re more than one person. Naturally enthused. Always searching for something. You are the mistress of experience, bold and wild and feeding off of the knowledge of the unexpected.

Capricorn: Seeming to be cool and steady, even when you feel like screaming. Possessing a deep, undeniable need for security- in all areas of life. Dreaming of building kingdoms with your bare hands. Being embarrassed, but pleased when somebody compliments you. Being too hard on yourself, and experiencing black moods because of it. Hiding your sensitivity behind biting, but nonetheless amusing sarcasm. Wanting to feel worthwhile in the world. Having a deep desire, and drive, to make something of yourself. You are the Titan Cronus, learning the lesson of the finiteness of mortality. 

Aquarius: Growing up and just feeling ‘different’. Loving all things messy, except emotions. Rejecting negative emotions because you hate feeling jealous, or fearful. Compassion through philosophy.  The starry-eyed professor, mad scientist, or general genius. Becoming so immersed into your own goals that you forget your reasons for said goals. Attracting all types in the eccentric crowds. Lovingly charming; struggling early on to find the medium between humor and offense. You are the electric shock of innovation upon society, bold and sharp and drastic as hell.

Pisces: The unrivaled mental space cadet. Intuition resembling psychic affinity. Caring for others so deeply, that their emotions make you feel like you’re underwater. Seeing pieces of yourself inside of everybody else. Being so excited for the future, you lose the present. Empathizing with everyone. Having secret worlds to retreat to, when reality is too awful. The natural performer. Being slightly jealous of mermaids/men. Loving everybody just a little bit. Having your heart broken more than once a day. You are the holy ghost, filled with divine love for all, and longing even more so.

Aries —
oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? you were a bright promise,
the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them
and trusting blindly in those around you. and then came the blood; and now your fire
is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. you’ve curled into yourself
like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing.
and all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure?
I wonder, oh, I wonder. before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence.
(the world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. but the fall couldn’t
maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom.
I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)


Taurus —
I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while,
because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry.
and I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know
that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your
superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle
gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. the song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear.
(don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their
all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. your love for gold
has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)


Gemini —
it’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. they tell you you’re a forgery, that your
smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea
that people are supposed to be multidimensional. on and on they go, pinning their ignorance
to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. sometimes,
you wish you were like them. I know you do. you shouldn’t. it might be lonely where you are,
but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. there are others like you,
with minds like diamonds. others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change.
(you will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. they’ll know you
better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling.
and when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)


Cancer —
you poor, poor, poor thing. it’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid
your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you
to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still.
reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept.
fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting;
like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through.
often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. you’re not. you just aren’t.
(in fact, you’re on of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world
see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward.
above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)


Leo —
the size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day,
I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure
the world would have been emptier by far. you see, your touch is one of gold; whomever
you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you
as you are now there would have been much less in the world. that is your downfall, isn’t it?
always has been. the way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking
for anything to be given to you in return. you are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses.
(it breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow;
know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. you have done nothing wrong – sometimes,
things simply fall apart. don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)


Virgo —
you have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms.
they have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better.
tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you,
why do you worry so? why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror?
your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all
the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. you can’t trust others because you don’t trust
yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty.
(being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. hate is human nature as much
as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. you are such a passionate being,
despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. please try to love yourself.)


Libra —
darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially
when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? few in this world love truth, and fewer still
are fond of things like righteousness and justice. your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face
of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. your mind, I fear,
is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow.
and you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind
and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. how brave you are.
(know that your effort will not go without reward. know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor
will you be forever misunderstood. there will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men,
and they will understand. keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)


Scorpio —
I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower
of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. you have been misjudged
and falsely accused for so long: whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul –
and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the virgin mary reborn,
the goddamn hypocrites. this, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex
that you crave or are interested in. it is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having
your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms.
(and I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that.
your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece.
one day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. they will love all of you.)


Sagittarius —
there is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads,
walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was
your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing
sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. oh, my child;
how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. the feeble
minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. having a voyager heart does not make you
afraid of commitment. it simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world.
(do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more
than all their empty ones combined. keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying;
only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)


Capricorn —
good god, you’re so tired. life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones,
took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet.
and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium,
a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges;
you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow.
know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience,
of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you.
(and know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel
that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it.
know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)


Aquarius —
there’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams;
there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder,
how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? my god, this world of ours
has seven wonders and you are all of them. the fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly
surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your
ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. nobody but you is open enough to accept it all;
nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact.
(I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. let them be. those who cannot
see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. you are the brightest star, my dear,
someone accepting and embracing of it all. do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)


Pisces —
and how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world
that demands certainties which you will never have to give. it is not to say you don’t want
to be resolute – you simply cannot. your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity;
all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky.
one day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies
are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you
find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum.
(know that it is okay. the most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;
as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call god.
it was never the devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. embrace your nature.)

—  poetry for the signs: the “you’ve done well” edition, L. Schreiber
even if it's fake || stiles stilinski

word count: 4793

warnings: swearing, angst

request: hi could i get a stiles imagine where he and the reader broke up then few days later reader messages him saying before he can block her she’s making him say ‘i love you’ even though he doesn’t mean it. if only i could send you the pic of where i got this idea 😭😭😭 hope u understand this TY AND ILY 💕💕

author’s note: sorry that this took so long to get written! i sort of changed it up a bit, but i hope you enjoy it. thank you to @dumbass-stilinski who gave me a few ideas, and @stilinski-jpeg who read it before it was finished. and also hay and soph for reading this after i finished it! @sincerelystiles @sarcasticallystilinski

masterlist

Keep reading

talk shit, get hit

genre: delinquent!au

star of the show: NCT’s Jaehyun

word count: 3,021 words

author’s note: part of a Johnny/Jaehyun collab with @chipsandwaffles . Go read Johnny’s part here it doesn’t disappoint. 

And remember, Say No to Double J™ 

*explicit language, read at your own discretion*

Originally posted by wonwoosvt

opening line: “Rules are simply restrictions passed down from past generations to limit us from doing what they couldn’t do in their lifetimes.” 

Keep reading

The Art of Loneliness | 03

Originally posted by bunnysenpa1

Pairing: Reader x Yoongi

Word Count: 4.7k

Genre/Warnings: Angst, Torture

○ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Description: In the world there are two types of people, them and Carriers. You’re a Carrier, one of the people that have been selected the bear the sadness of the world. You thought that was how you would live and die–at least you did, before you met Suga. 


               You woke up to the feeling of the sun on your skin, an unwelcomed light that had woken you ever morning for the past three weeks. Every day that you woke up was another day that you were alive, and it was one of the worst possible things to realize.

               You sat up, pushing the warmth of the blanket away from you as you snapped yourself awake, forcing yourself out of the comfort of the bed and to the harshness of the cold floor. Every morning you rose with the same dread in your stomach, so powerful that it made it hard for you to eat or drink.

               You’re safe.

               But Suga isn’t.

Keep reading

Sworn Enemies (Jefferson x Reader)

Words: 2300+

Warnings: none, just a salty hamilton

Request: Could I request a fic where reader is hammys sister and is in love with Thomas Jefferson


“And he just gives me that sly grin and I just want to punch him in the face, you know what I mean?” Alexander Hamilton, your brother, complained to you. You nodded, barely paying any mind to what he was saying. He whined to you every day about Thomas Jefferson, and you cared less about what he said.

He was just a cry baby.

“Y/N, Y/N! Are you even paying attention to me?” Hamilton said, snapping his fingers in front of your face. You nodded, playing with your quill. He frowned. “Then what did I just say?”

“Probably another complaint about Thomas.” You mumbled, raising your eyebrow at him. He shook his head.

Keep reading

a tiny little information: if my love for my country, my appreciation of tradition, and my devotion to All Things Slavic misguided you into believing I’ll adore and agree with your nationalist, white pride, or in any way heavily right-wing blog, then from the deepest part of my slavic heart: fuck you.

Hatred

Request: May I have a Bellamy blake imagine with prompt number 1?? Ps: love your writing

1: “You’re the only thing left that is important to me now.”

Requested by: anonymous.

AN: This ones really short, and i’m sorry. I just didn’t have much inspiration for it! Sorry!

Warnings: none.


Originally posted by chatnoirs-baton

You stood next to Bellamy in a comfortable silence, feeling the guilt radiate off him as you watched Octavia stalk off in anger. You winced when you caught sight of Bellamy again, his face bruised and bloodied. He deserved it, you knew, but that didn’t help the fact that maybe Octavia had taken it a step too far.

“Bellamy..” You whispered, reaching up to help him but he shoved your hand away.

“Please, Y/N. I deserved this. I deserved this. I need this.” He said, frantically trying to take in all the pain and it made you feel even worse.

The crowd had gone off, too concerned with Octavia but you had stayed. You needed to. There was no where else to go. Not now. Not now when the man beside you had killed the only important thing left to you.

You looked to Bellamy, staring in a mix of pity and hatred because he’d killed your grounder brother despite falling in love with you. But staring at him, you should hate him. You should hate him as much as Octavia apparently did, but you just couldn’t find yourself to do so.

Not now. Not when you’d really end up alone otherwise.

So instead, you shoved his hand away and helped him, ignoring the way he stared pathetically at you.

“Why…?” He whispered, his breath hitting your neck. You shook your head, hatred in your eyes but your heart swelling with pity.

“You’re the only thing left that is important to me now.”

Do not allow anger to engulf your heart. Do not allow hatred to enslave your soul. Release your pain, rise above wrongdoing. Allow love to entrenched your heart. Allow peace to overwhelm your soul. This is the way to forgiveness; this is the way to happiness. Follow me.
—  k. e. // nirvana

anonymous asked:

You wanna know what the dumbest creature on this planet is? Moths. Let me tell you how dumb those idiots are. They are nocturnal, meaning they only come out at night but when they do they are attracted to light. Let that sink in. They come out in the dark... and the obsess over light. You morons, haven't you heard of this thing called the sun? God I hate those stupid motherfuckers.

Hahaha I love your hatred for moths ❤😂😂😂

Taehyung Scenario: Paper Hearts

Summary: There may have been or not a misunderstanding in the past, you and Taehyung were riven by an unprecedented and unexpected occurrence. After meeting a year later, the wounds are still fresh and open. With Taehyung’s friend trying to catch your attention and hatred and love for your former lover clouding your mind, you wonder… which one is going to win the hopeless heart of yours?

Genre: Angst / Fluff.

Word Count: 2.2k

Originally posted by cmtae


You were sitting wiggly on the bench, waiting for your boyfriend to arrive. Uneasiness hang onto the pit of your stomach. It was difficult to say whether he was going to make a huge surprise or simply do something quiet, yet meaningful and thoughtful, for your first anniversary. Assuming he would have to be very careful about you, he was a k-idol after all, you bit your lower lip. You knew Taehyung and how free-spirited he was. That’s what attracted him to you.  

“Taehyung, what’s taking you so long,” you rumbled, anxiously awaiting to see his box shaped smile.

It wasn’t until you felt big soft hands upon your eyes, taking away your sight.

“Guess who is,” an unique and incomparable voice sang close to your ear, giving you goosebumps.

“Yah, oppa,” you gasped, sliding his hands off your face, “I was waiting for you,” you whisper, turning to face the most beautiful being that has ever lived.

He was holding a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, lilac hyacinths, the scenery of the park matching the entire situation. You sighed, everything looked perfect and reminded you of the mornings you had spent together on that same park that had now become a major symbol of your relationship. He wore no mask, or anything to conceal his true identity, instead he wore his biggest smile — nothing but happiness oozing out of him.

“I know,” he uttered, gently tucking a stray of your hair on place, “I was watching you while I soothed my nerves,” Taehyung admitted, chuckling at his silliness.

You stood up, swiftly wrapping an arm around your boyfriend’s waist, the other grabbing two hyacinths and placing one of them on top of your ear and the other on top of Taehyung’s. The act made him sheepishly smile, although he had spent a year beside you, sometimes you still managed to surprise him with your spontaneity.

“Y/N, you’re so cute,” he wobbled, pinching your right cheek, “now, let’s hurry, jagi. We have places to go.”

Mesmerised by his choice, the first place you went was where you had your first ‘date’. Both wanting to know each other, you met on your favourite café in Seoul, as you told Taehyung when he asked you out. It had been the best thing that had happened to you in a while and you became eager to see more of the boy who made you laugh enough for a lifetime in few hours. He sang sweet melodies while holding your hands, and how deep was his voice – you couldn’t get enough of Taehyung. Such a gentleman, you thought. You fell so ardently for him without notice and each day, you awoke to the thought of him.

“Remember when we came here for the first time?” He murmured.  

“How could I ever forget, you even serenaded me,” you jokingly said, poking his jaw.

“Do you want me to do it again?” He asked and did his typical aegyo.  

“Maybe, – are you making it a tradition?”

He hummed, his head tilted toward you as he held it between his hands, “I don’t know? I think that, for now, I just want to make you.”

With the unwarned hard blow on his forehead, he only pouted, ”Yah, Taehyung! Shut up, pabo.” You shout whispered, your cheeks heated up from the intensity of your blush.

By the time you finished your drinks, Taehyung held your hand and said the anniversary adventure would continue. You squealed here and there, but you were pleased that the love of your life had been so lovingly thoughtful. Walking through cobblestone streets – those you once admitted to him to be so charming – hand in hand, you were taken to an amusement park. You went to diverse rides and carousels, ate cotton candy and kissed passionately on the love tunnel. After running from side to side and waiting in line for hours, sweat ran in rivulets down your forehead and you couldn’t stop the act of restlessly fanning your face. Taehyung chuckled as he plaited your hair and blew on the nape of your neck.

“Better?”

You shivered. The pink ting catching up on your cheeks.

“Better,” you sighed dreamily.  

The day passed in a blink of an eye and the couple enjoyed every second of it, now under the moonlight – that lit up the path you walked through – the Han river glistened with its silvery glow. You were attached to each other, slowly a sinking feeling downing in both of you, it was almost midnight.

“I can’t believe it’s almost over,” Taehyung cried out.

“Yes, but not quite, jagi,” you cooed, hugging him tightly, “it’s my turn to surprise you.”

His demeanor became livelier, as you stood on the tip of your toes to fold his eyes, “you prepared such a great gift that you can’t even let me see it? So when can I, – jagi, stop hitting me!” He squeaked.

“So, do me a favour and shut up, thank you so much,” you grumpily mumbled and lead him to the first clue, untying the fold off of him.

“A card? How impressive of you,” he said.

“Yah, Taehyung! Just read the damn thing or else I’ll beat you,” you uttered in response.

“Alright, alright.”

The card itself was tiny and wrapped around a silky ribbon, the inside guardedly held a creamy-coloured paper with an impeccable handwriting.

Follow the instructions;

The rose you once gave me dawned on me the realization I was consumed by your love.

Go find it.

Taehyung snapped, his eyes hunting your figure, but you were nowhere to be seen. His grasp on the card tightened and he panted, his chest now filled with disquiet.

“Y/N? Y/N, where are you?” He screamed, the ache on his heart subduing as he decidedly hustled himself to find where the rose mallow was.

As he strode straight ahead, he glimpsed morsels of the silky ribbon you had used on the card attached to the trees’ trunks and followed the track it lead to. Other card was in a trunk not so far away from the first one he had picked up. There was another flower.

This flower means you should think of me.

Taehyung was growing impatient with his slowness, running for the next card that he rapidly reached for, snatching it from the harmless tree. He could already hear the cicadas making their loud shrill droning noises and observe the lampposts providing illumination around the river shimmering. Although your surprise was thrilling, his fear of your safety being jeopardised was tremendous. A forget-me-not hang out with the words:

Please, remember me (forget me not).

Please, dream of me.

He was on the verge of collapsing, he just needed you – tightly secured with him. He sprang, moving faster than before, following the path of ribbons. His ultimate aim being the white tulip and the last card.

Promise to never stop loving me – this white (tulip) love of ours shall never end.

Promise to never leave.

Come to me.

Let me come to you, he inwardly grunted, yearning for you. There were paper lamp lights that flickered, faintly faltering its already dim prospect of light, but it built the atmosphere of love that daintily made it worth the running and panicking Taehyung had experienced minutes ago. You stood at the centre of the circle garden, and had changed since the last few minutes he had seen you. His mouth agape with elation as you gave him an intent look, your white dress stopped right above your knees and the night chill slipped underneath it, but it was so worth it after all. Shoving the cards into his jacket’s compartment pocket, Taehyung stumbled across the path that lead to you, his lips crushing on to yours, his hands fumblingly traveling around your body.

“Tae…” you sighed, your arms folding him and you snuggled up on the crook of his neck.

“I think you irreversibly turn me into a hopeless romantic, I can’t ever leave you. I love you. I love you. I love you,” Taehyung confessed repeatedly, his eyes blazing with adoration and his hands firmly pressed to your waistline.

You moaned, your lips springing to his, “I love you, too. So, so much.”


The pang of electricity shot down his spine.

“Christmas is coming up and guess what?”

“What?” Namjoon asked, not really paying attention to his dongsaeng as he typed away anxiously on his phone.

“I’m spending it with my girlfriend’s family,” Taehyung blurted out happily while waving his phone to show off your text.

“What?!” Jin and the other boys uttered in disbelief.

Such reaction wasn’t what Taehyung had in mind, for he was pretty much aware of the bound between them and how much the holidays they spent together was sacred, but on the bottom of his heart; he expected to be encouraged to dodge their tradition this year – not to feel bad. Maybe if he asked you to spend Christmas with Bangtan instead…

Whatever plan that was being created in Taehyung’s mind crumbled down before it could be put in action because the bell rang. Grimacing, he dragged his feet to door to answer.

“Hey!” You greeted your boyfriend excitedly, hugging him and walking inside altogether.

Under the heavy atmosphere, your excitement faltered and suddenly, you felt yourself frowning too.

“Did someone die?” You whispered in a baritone voice, lowering your gaze to the corner of the living room.

“Jagi, about the Christmas…” Taehyung started speaking, but you beat him to it.

“Oh, that’s why you’re upset?” You questioned, enlightened with the new understanding of the situation, “you guys can’t go?”

“What?” Namjoon was the first to utter something.

“I kind of wanted to invite all of you to spend Christmas with my family?” You mumbled, feeling embarrassed as you were about to reason why you had invited them on the first place.

“Usually, my sisters come from America with their families to celebrate with us, but this is year they won’t be coming and it’s going to be only my parents and I… I mean, there will be plenty of food and space, but you don’t need to go, of course. I don’t want to feel like I’m imposing–”

“Y/N, as the leader of the group, I can speak for all of us that it would be a pleasure to celebrate with you for that matter,” Namjoon cut you off with his eye smile and dimples popping.

Cute, you thought as you sighed in relief.


Christmas had been two weeks ago and you had the time of your life. You could say that even your parents had had a blast and loved having those energetic boys over – your mother asked when they would come again which drew a giggle out of you. At the moment, you had Taehyung over and he wouldn’t stop tickling you and groping your tights. You enjoyed the feeling, but feared for the both of you if you were caught amidst the playful banter and touching.

“Well, babe, I love your legs. Like very much. I love your legs enough for the both of us, so you might as well as love them, too.” You blush as Taehyung leans toward you, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Stop blabbering, Tae,” you said, amused.

“Nope. I mean, look at those legs,” Your boyfriend said in a playful tone of voice, gripping your tights and then making up and down motions upon your flesh.

Pouting, you whined, “Play nice with me, Tae.”

“Why would I, huh, Y/N?” The smirk causing all of his features to glow in the most devilish fashion.

The teasing died down, though. Because before a heated make-out session could begin right then and there, the dangling on the knob was heard and your father entered the house to face you and your boyfriend embracing each other intimately. Taehyung stood up at light speed, bowing to your father and leaving quickly as if his life depended on it – that’s how you demanded him to act whenever your parents caught you, even if he didn’t agree to it.

Bidding your parents good night after dinner, you went upstairs to sleep for you had school the following morning. Meanwhile, you were brushing your teeth, your phone beeped. You thought it was Taehyung; how wrong you were.

Instead, it was the last thing you believed you’d see during your lifetime. It was Taehyung and another girl – kissing.

‘Seems like your baby daddy was spotted with another girl this Monday, xx.’


It was night already, you sit by his side; he expects a greeting or a kiss, but you ignore him. Your outfit was fitting — the baby blue oversized sweater and a white skirt, — you looked so cute that he thought he would combust. Why didn’t you say something? You stayed shushed, writing haphazardly.

“Jagi, did I do something wrong?” His euphoria ceased.

“Are you mute or something?”

You gave him a beautiful smile, that seemed wistful. Unbeknownst to Taehyung, you had spent the last couple of days crying over their pictures, putting their memories in your drawer and reminiscing them. You were incredulous at the first moment, but your incredulity became sadness and an unknown sense of self-loathing. Weren’t you enough? Weren’t your love satisfying?

“I think you overdid that, thank you so much,” you spat out.

He didn’t understand anything at all, everything was fine. Why was his love mad? “What have I done? You’re making me nervous.”

“I… I don’t think our relationship is working anymore,” the girl Taehyung adored so fervently uttered, “I want it over.”

And that’s when hell broke loose.

i. When they break your heart, don’t blame yourself. Some people are not right for each other. That does not make them better or worse than you. I am so sorry they caused you pain.

ii. Stitch your heart back together with love, not hatred. Never stop believing in love. Never stop believing that there is love in everything. Never stop loving.

iii. They may have stabbed you in the heart, but your heart is still beating. That is amazing. People will not tell you you are strong as much as you deserve to be told it, but I will. Never forget that you are a warrior.

iv. There are songs that will tell you it is okay to harbor anger for the rest of your life. There are songs that will tell you to stick both of your middle fingers up to everyone who makes mistakes that negatively impact you. Turn off the radio.

v. Believe in second chances. Believe in third chances. Believe in all of the chances in the entire world. But never back down. Tell people to screw themselves when they deserve it. Tell them you are not a damn doormat. Then forgive them.

vi. Don’t be afraid to let go of anything less than you deserve. This includes feelings. Leave anyone who is not positively benefiting you. That does not mean you have to hate them.

vii. Remember that there are people who hurt as much as you do. Everyone is fighting battles against the world, and more importantly, battles against themselves. The one who broke your heart is fighting their own battles. They may seem happier than you right now, but they are not always happy. You affected them more than your damaged self-confidence will let you believe.

viii. Believe people are good at heart. Believe in the good in the world. Remember the good times.

ix. When they break your heart, don’t blame yourself.

x. I believe in you.

—  To my future children