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You always had a soft spot for Ryu Sungmin, that one guy in your
class that’s really good at rapping, and has a huge love for hip-hop. You weren’t
sure when was the first time you took interest in him, because you will always
see him after school, walking the same way home as you. Maybe it was that one
time when he rescued a cat stuck on a tree, or when he stopped by the
playground to play see-saw with the kids there. Or maybe it was that time when
you finally got to talk to him, after half a year walking just right behind
“Your lyrics are really nice.” The words slipped out of your lips
without you realizing it, and your hand quickly slapped your mouth, feeling
embarrassed at what you did.
Sungmin had stopped walking to sit at the bus stop, waiting for a
bus to Hongdae. Just when he was practicing his rap that he was going to
record, a shadow hovered over him. When he was about to look up, someone
suddenly spoke, praising his rap. His eyes widened seeing you standing in front
of him, with your hands over your lips, shock written all over you.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s fine, really,” A chuckle escaped Sungmin’s lips, “But thanks,
I’m glad someone actually think that it’s nice.” Your eyebrow rose hearing his
“But I thought people in our school said your good?” You asked,
feeling confusion settle in you as Sungmin shook his head.
“They talked behind my back, saying that what I rap is mostly shit.”
This time, Sungmin was chuckling with a hint of bitterness in it, and you were
shocked once again hearing what he said.
“Well, this one is really good! I really mean it, Sungmin.” You felt
your heart acting weird seeing that smile on his lips, as he looked like he
really appreciated your words.
“Would you want to hear the rest of it? That was only the first
“Of course I want to!”
And after that day, you had been hanging around Sungmin often. You
were there to see him improve, as his talent bloomed pretty quickly despite him
being a high school student. And then he started performing in school events,
and people acknowledged him from then on. After that, he met Byungyoon, who
learned rapping from him. Despite all the popularity he had, Sungmin still didn’t
leave you at all. Walking back home was a ritual you both had, and it would
always be done without fail.
You didn’t even realize when you started to fall for your friend, or
why your heart chose him. It was just a small interest that sparked inside your
heart, but it turned into something bigger. You would feel extreme feelings
every day, as your heart can soar high when he did something sweet for you, yet
it would break when he’s talking with another girl. And somehow, you started to
crave something more from him, you wanted this relationship you had with him to
be more than friends.
So you pulled all the courage you had to confess your feelings to
him, hoping that he could return them back. But every time you both were alone,
and your lips were ready to spill the words your heart wrote, yet you abruptly stopped.
The courage you had disappeared in an instant and you just felt like you couldn’t
do it at all. Maybe you were too scared for what Sungmin would say to you,
maybe that’s why the attempts on confessing would always fail.
Today was the last day of high school, and you’ve been hiding this
feeling from Sungmin all this time. It’s okay to confess now, you thought, as
you both wouldn’t go to the same college anyway. You wouldn’t see him anymore
if he did reject you, saving less embarrassment for you.
“Sungmin?” You broke the silence between the two of you as you both
walked back home together, side by side.
“I want to say something for you.”
“What is it?”
Suddenly, you felt your heart racing faster, and your voice suddenly
disappeared when you needed it the most. Your brain was screaming at you to not
confess, because you will definitely be embarrassed. And you continued to walk
in silence, your mind having an internal battle with your heart, weighing the
options that you had.
“Are you okay, (Name)?” Sungmin asked, confused at your sudden
“I like you, Sungmin.” You whispered, your shoulders slumping down as
the weight you had on it for three years have disappeared.
But then, you felt regret washing over you as you saw Sungmin’s
face. He had stopped walking, and he was now staring at you in disbelief, not
believing your confession just now. And his expression suddenly turned unreadable,
as he was staring down at the concrete, not daring to meet your anticipating
“I’m sorry,” Sungmin croaked, “I only see you as a friend, (Name),
Well, there’s the answer, you said to yourself. But you thought you
would feel better, since you had finally confessed to him. Your heart was
aching in pain now, as the words Sungmin said played in your mind over and over
again. Tears started to pool in your eyes, and you were trying in all your
might not to let it flow down your cheeks, as you didn’t want him to see you
You messed it all up, you ruined everything you had with him. Not
only was your heart that was broken, your relationship and everything that was
left with him was broken as well. You were beyond sad that he couldn’t return
your feelings, when you expected it would be the exact opposite. Now, it felt
so awkward with Sungmin, as he didn’t even raise his eyes when he talked to
“O-Oh, I see,” You whispered, “Well, I’ll go on first then.” Not
waiting for his response, you walked first, and then turned into a sprint when
you were sure he was far from you.
It’s over, everything is over now. But your heart hurts so much, you
weren’t sure if the pain will be over for you soon.
A lot teased Sungmin for being way too focused on his music, that he
didn’t have one girl in his life at all. Sure, he had one night stands, but
none of them appeared again the next day. His life was all about his music,
unlike his friends and fellow JM artists. Most of them were in a relationship,
and since he would come to the JM building every day, they would tease him about
his love life again and again.
Sungmin had a lot of girls lining up for him, but he just wasn’t
interested in any of them. Sure they were pretty, but their heart wasn’t, it
was rotten. He got tired of them flirting with him for his fame, he needed
someone who’s willing to love him for who he is, not his wealth or his
Well, there was one girl in his life that was like that, but he made
a huge mistake with her. Sungmin’s mind would wander about you once again, and
his heart would beat faster remembering you. But he did the stupidest thing in
his life, as he turned your love down, and then soon realized that he loves you
all along. But it was too late, as your friendship with him ended that day, and
that was the last time you’ve ever seen him.
It was as if you were gone from the world, Sungmin had a hard time
finding you. He was desperate to fix everything that was left between the two
of you, because he was so stupid. He didn’t realize his heart craved for you,
his pride blinding his true feelings. And he was truly foolish for being like
that back then, for letting an angel like you flew out of his life. But after
all these years, he still longed for you, wanting to see you just one more
Today, Sungmin was going to record his song for the next episode of
Show Me the Money. He was waiting for Zico to arrive to the studio he was in,
as he was now practicing his raps with his producers. He got too engrossed in
his practice that he didn’t realize the door of the studio sliding open as Zico
and another person walked inside the studio.
“Hello! I’m sorry I’m late,” Zico apologized, “And I got someone
tagging along, would that be fine?”
Sungmin got the biggest shock in his life seeing who was beside
Zico, as he had his arms around a girl’s waist. It was you, the one that he
wanted to see after all this time. He can hear his heart shattering in pieces,
seeing you bow at the people in the studio, with a smile on your lips.
“Hello there! Would it be okay if I wait for Jiho here?” You asked
shyly, not once leaving Zico’s side.
“Is she your girlfriend, Jiho?” Kush asked, receiving a proud nod
Yes, Sungmin did wish for faith to be able to let them meet again.
But he didn’t expect it to be this way, not in a cruel way like this.
“I’m going to grab some drink, do you want anything?” Zico asked
you, and you shook your head, smiling softly at him.
“No, I’m good,” You declined his offer, “Be careful on your way.”
You bid goodbye at your boyfriend and relaxed in the studio, your eyes glued to
Sungmin’s heart was racing seeing you sitting right across him, but
you acted like he never existed in your life at all, like you didn’t knew him.
Your acting was perfect, and Sungmin thought it was like that because maybe you’ve
already moved on. And there was no hint of you being uncomfortable at all, and
the courage Sungmin had to tell you his feelings have started to shrink.
“It’s been so long, (Name), how are you doing?” You looked up from
your phone and gave him a small smile.
“I’m good, how about you?”
“I’m fine too.” You didn’t try to let the conversation flow, as you purposely
went back to your phone, ignoring him.
Sungmin was going crazy on how you let the conversation end just
like that. He was mostly asking you pointless questions, in which you answered
with one word only. He was biting his lips, desperate to get things back to
like how it used to be. But can he really do that? There seems to be nothing
between the two of you at all that he could piece back together.
“Listen, (Name), I really-“
“Is this about seven years ago?” You asked, as you started to feel
annoyed by his questions that wouldn’t stop coming at you.
“Yes! It was a mistake, because I was-“
“I moved on, don’t worry, no need to feel bad.”
“Listen to me first!” Sungmin cried out, silencing you immediately, “I
really like you, (Name), and I was too late to realize that! I kept on thinking
about you, and I just… really miss you.” His last words were in a whisper, but
it was still audible in your ears.
You could see that Sungmin was genuine, as he actually meant what he
said to you. He looked desperate, but there really was nothing he could do. You’ve
already moved on to him, and the room in your heart was filled by Jiho, not
“I’m sorry Sungmin, but I only see you as a friend, nothing more.”
The memories of him rejecting you flashed again in your mind, as the exact
words he said to you slipped out of your lips.
Sungmin felt like he was stabbed by his own knife, he remembered
those words so well. He got up from his seat and walked to the door, needing
some fresh air. He left you without any word, and when the door closed, he
finally let all his composure down. His eyes looked lifeless as he leaned to
the wall, feeling his heart break into pieces.
It was useless anyway, and it was stupid of him to hope you would
give him a chance. Everything was too late as there was nothing he could fix,
nothing that could bring him together with you again. His heart was broken, and
he wasn’t sure if time would be the right medicine for to heal. Sungmin felt so
stupid, he felt like burying himself away, knowing he lost you from his life,
as he let the chance he had slip away so easily.
Sungmin didn’t look at you back then, but he wished you would look
at him now.