I was at Taco Bell with a bro. I rather like Taco Bell. But like, most everyone else I’ve known is like, “oh man, hold on to your butts//put safety belts on the toilet//iMdYing” about Taco Bell.
Anyway, I sketched this at Taco Bell.
Based on the novels/short stories I’ve read about Maul, he’s a judgmental prude about greasy food and particular about what he ingests with high levels of disgust about shit other people are ingesting. But, a man’s gotta eat. What if there is nothing on a backwater planet but Space!TacoBell???
Context: Our normal DM wasn’t able to be there so I was DMing our alternate campaign (We call these Chaos days because I purposely let silly things happen. its funny and leads to things like this) we had 2 Rouges, a wizard, and a fighter, they were exploring a goblin hideout. they had just come out of taming some wolves. this is what happened (Note: I am laughing my butt off the entire time and we purposely consumed many sugary things :3):
DM(Me): you are in a cave there is a stream two side passages and one main passage. Rouge1(ooc): I’m going to roll perception *rolls* 21 DM: You hear rustling from the first side passage and snoring from the second side passage. Rouge1: I’m going to walk up so Im level with the first side passage. Do I see anything? DM: roll perception rouge1(ooc): *rolls* 17 DM: you see a Taco. Rouge1(ooc): how would my character know what a taco is? DM: I just saying taco so I’m not describing a taco. Rouge1: Ok i’m going to throw a dagger at it *rolls* 23 DM: it hits the taco the taco is now almost broken and has a dagger sticking out of it. Rouge1: HOW DID IT NOT BREAK!? DM: its a really old taco. Wizard: I roll to see if its possed *rolls* 17 DM: its not possed it looks tasty tho. Rouge1(is suspicious): i’m throwing my other dagger at it. *rolls* 19 DM: The taco breaks Rouge2: Thats it just the taco breaks? DM: thats it the taco breaks. Fighter: welp Im going to go get that taco and feed it to my wolves. Everyone else: Were coming too! *they wade through the stream* Rouge1: I stealthly walk up to the taco. *rolls* 24 DM: roll perception Rouge1: *rolls* 25 DM: you see a pile of tacos Everyone: WHAT? DM: if you want to blame someone for this blame my brother he gave me the idea. Rouge1: I shoot the pile of tacos with my crossbow. *rolls* 15 DM: you hit and A Black and Taco colored thing Streaks out of the pile. Roll perception. Rouge1: *rolls* 26 DM: you see a Feline that looks to be wearing a taco Fighter and Rouge2: *Walk into the cave* Rouge1: I’m going to throw a Knife in front of it *rolls* 16 DM: you startle the cat and it runs over to [fighter’s name] Fighter: I crouch and coo the kitty. *rolls* 19 DM: the cat instantly seems to take to you. roll cat knowlege Fighter: *rolls* 17 DM: You know basic cat knowlege such as things like you should let a cat sniff your hand so its not hostile. also roll perception Fighter: *rolls a 12* DM: you see a sign over the pile of tacos that says tacos. Fighter: (is not going to tell the others about teh sign) PEOPLE COME LET THE CAT SNIFF YOUR HAND *Everyone Rolls well* DM: NOW ROLL PERCEPTION! *They roll well except for the wizard* DM: you everyone except fur the wizard sees the sign that says tacos! Wizard: IM GONNA EAT THE PILE OF TACOS *Rolls* nat20 DM: You eat all the tacos then feel sleepy. [fighter’s name] roll perception. *Fighter rolls decently* DM: you notice a cord around the cat’s neck. will you inspect it? Fighter: HECK YEAH! *rolls a 18 for perception* DM: you see the words taco cat on the tag. Rouge2(ooc): So its a taco cat called taco cat? DM: yes! because paradoxes! btw you all feel safe in this room. :3
Imagine this Horrorswap, HorrorShift, and HorrorFruit
*Okay, so Storyshift is always so hard for me to keep straight, and I’m familiar with the character designs of Fruittale (Melon!Sans is adorable), but I haven’t figured out their characterizations.
Soooo, let’s go Horror!Swap~!
Empress Alphys (dubbed alphass or alfuck by Stretch) is crazy as shit and took off a good portion of the left side of Papyrus’s skull with her battle axe during a dispute about Sans. Of course, Stretch can’t quite remember how he got the injury, and Sans can’t bring himself to admit his former best friend did something like that to his brother, so he keeps his mouth shut.
Stretch is the tall one. He’s grown over a foot since they started eating humans–as has Sans. Papyrus’s orange hoodie is too short now, and ripped at the bottom, exposing part of his spine. He still wears his usual shorts, which have also become a bit shorter on his frame. His hoodie is stained red and filthy, but he doesn’t care. Cigarettes are a rarity now–something he might even likely trade rations for–so his oral fixation has become chewing on sticks or old sucker stems. This has left some of his teeth looking jagged–not as bad as HT!Paps’s teeth by any means, but just a chipped tooth here or there.
He doesn’t have a dilated eyelight like HT!Sans, but his head wound is jagged enough to include the top portion of his left eyesocket. Therefore, he’s now blind in that eye. The injury has, of course, affected his memory, his magic, and left him a little unhinged. He still loves puns and wears a lazy grin, but he doesn’t show much mercy unless you’re interesting. He’s unable to summon Blasters, can only teleport short distances at a time, but can still summon bones at will. His weapon of choice is an elongated bone with a jagged, sharpened end, much like a spear. He hunts humans as a sentry, and has convinced Blueberry to start incorporating human meat into his TERRIFIC TACOS. Stretch grinds the humans they capture up in his shed for his brother.
Sans, on the other hand, has achieved his dream of becoming Captain of the Royal Guard–and he wants out. Alphys takes out her anger on him, often beating him in the face with the blunt side of her axe during their ‘training’, which has resulted in him having a mouthful of jagged, oddly-spaced teeth that happen to always be stained crimson. He’s still a skeleton of integrity, so despite the fact that he now finds humans to be delicious (Sans was vehemently against eating humans at first, but a combination of hunger and head trauma can cause a monster to do desperate things), Sans always puts the humans that fall through a series of puzzles.
He still wears his usual bandanna, though it’s looking rather tattered now, and his battle body has been revised to fit his larger body. It’s stained with blood and dirt that just won’t wash out, though the worst of the stains are on his boots and gloves. He’s retained his good nature, boundless energy, and upbeat attitude, and while Stretch usually can’t muster up the willpower to do most things besides hunt and space out at his sentry station, the lanky skeleton still goes along with whatever Blueberry says (for the most part; it’s not like he’s going to actually calibrate his puzzles) and will do anything to protect his brother and make certain he’s fed.
(*… I should probably queue this up because it’s 2:30AM for me, but screw it. I’ll post it now anyway. I’m tired and drawing a blank, but I’d love to do more headcanons or drabbles for Horrorswap, so feel free to send some of those in. Or any other AU imagines that’re kinda different because this was so much fun to think about. )
lana: stefani can this wait im in the middle of a sermon
gaga: no it cant.
lana: well what is it
gaga: Taco bell has a taco burrito now. thats a taco INSIDE of a burrito shell. do you know what this means for my music? for my life? for your life?
gaga: i can do whatever i want now. theres no limits. im gonna do it. Im gonna EGOT.