A list of the worst people you'll ever meet

* People who leave shopping carts in the parking lot: I sincerely hope in Hell as I am sure The Devil will send the lot of you on endless runs to the parking lot to push great volumes of carts back into the store like a post-modern, Kevin Smith-level ironic Sisyphus.

* People who leave voicemail messages not saying what its about, just to call them back: Any time this happens, my internal monologue turns into the final showdown in Dark City where he’s screaming and theres flowing waves of anger emitting from his forehead. And that is also what I will think of the next time I see you in person. Keep that in mind, buddy.

* Anyone who makes v-e-r-y s-l-o-w turns in their car (especially right-hand turns): Anyone who drives slow can be avoided but when you’re turning and you have to do it at a snail’s pace, there is something incredibly wrong with you as a human being and I am ashamed to share the same genus as you. ASHAMED.

* People who stand outside of voting booths asking you to vote for their crappy person for jerks: I’m walking in because I made a decision weeks or months ago, Mrs Suburban White Lady Angry About Grocery Store Coupons. You’re not changing my mind this late in the game. Also: your high heels are cheap and your children are notoriously ugly.

* People who don’t have an “indoor voice”: If I wanted to have a conversation with you, I’d beat it out of you first, random asshole on his cellphone / talking to his kid / looking for their ugly significant other.

* People looking at their cell phones after the lights dim in a movie theater: You people really make me wish universal health care covered retroactive abortion.

* People who lean in to give a hug or only give you their chest during it: I inherently distrust anyone who is uncomfortable giving or receiving hugs. If you don’t want to, thats fine but half-assing it makes me feel like I’m about to gator-wrestle someone at a Christian Revival event and they’re covered in lard.

* Anyone who makes a joke at the expense of someone working a counter / working retail / working with the public: If the employee scans something at the register and it doesn’t come up in the system and you say “That means it must be free”, you deserve to be stabbed through the face with a fucking cinder block. No exceptions.

* Every character played by Tom Skerritt: He just seems like the biggest douchebag alive. I don’t know why.

* People who can’t control their kids in public: Seeing your little ambulatory womb tumor run around like the worthless shit-ticket s/he is as he screams about Transformers makes me want to go Rambo 4 on your nuclear family. Not the whole Rambo 4 movie either, just the part where he uses the 50 cal machine gun and turns the jeep driver into a can of tomato paste.

* People who like things “ironically”: I have to censor myself here because I got a letter from Satan and he said that shit was too fucked up even for him, so I’ll leave it to your imagination.

* People who “sell”: If you’re a salesman by trade, I take no issue with you. If you’re a salesman by nature, I basically want to pour gasoline into your eyeballs. Maybe its me but there is little as frustrating as someone trying to sell their personality to you. They come off like walking in on an overly-smarmy David Leisure about to bang your wife. You just want to kick them in the face so hard, they shit their teeth out. You’re not important, bucko, so quit it.


Kevin Smith Talks About How Star Wars Impacted His Life and Revisiting the Prequels

anonymous asked:

Fun fact, apparently at a Panel Kevin Smith talked about how great the Berlantiverse is, completely ignoring Arrow. When Arrow was mentioned, he said he is aware of how far removed from the comics and divisive it is and that he won't touch it any time soon. Basically according to the OP if you read through the lines he pretty much loathed Arrow at this point which wasn't helped by Oliciters harassing him on twitter when he made an Olicity joke. [cont]

[cont] and apparently he went to great length to stress that the people he works with on Flash and Supergirl are not involved in Arrow one bit anymore.

WAIT REALLY? I didn’t know that lmao. I’m not surprised – he’s a HUGE dork and it’s a family affair for him, so it’s totally unsurprising he’d be all ‘fuck an Arrow’ like the rest of us.

There’s changing the show for the comics and GREEN BATMAN.

If you want to cringe at old people on this fine Wednesday, please look up the trailer for Kevin Smith’s new movie, featuring jokes about Emojis and Canadians Saying Aboot
The Big I
Chasing Amy and the toxic “nerd masculinity” of the nineties. Still from Chasing Amy, 1997.Kevin Smith’s romantic comedy Chasing Amy, now almost two decades old, was a big deal for my generation of nerds. Back in 1997, all of our dorky interests, from comic books to video games, remained hidden, far from the prying eyes of the American... Read More »
By Oliver Lee Bateman

Chasing Amy and the toxic “nerd masculinity” of the nineties.

(spoilers) Reasons to be excited for The Flash Season 3!

In no particular order. I’ll provide sources if you ask about a particular one, and please add anything I missed!

  • musical episode!
  • 4 way crossover!! (that STARTS on The Flash)
  • A 25% chance of a character being confirmed lgbt+
  • Harry will be back!
  • Cisco/Harry banter
  • Tom Cavanagh in general
  • Kevin Smith (remember Runaway Dinosaur?) directing an episode!
  • Tom Felton & inevitable HP references
  • Pokemon Go references? *crosses fingers*
  • Vibe powers being further explored!
  • Westallen maybe finally becoming canon (even if you don’t ship it, no more will-they-won’t-they for what we all know is inevitable)
  • Quickwest?
  • Dr. Alchemy!
  • Grodd returning (for 2 episodes!)
  • ~time travel~
  • maybe the last time we’ll see Barry’s mother die (until 2024, probably)
  • meeting Caitlin’s mother!
  • some version of both Leonard and Laurel showing up because of their all-shows contracts (also Malcolm Merlyn, but I’m honestly surprised he’s still alive so I don’t know if everyone’s excited about that.)
  • If nothing else, at the very LEAST, more material for fanfiction!

53 days. The hype is real.


My lovelies, go and watch this video. Kevin Smith talks about Supergirl and the episode he will be directing (Supergirl Lives).
Kevin Smith Gives Great Advice To Troll Who Wants His Daughter 'Dead'
Kevin Smith responded to a troll who cruelly attacked his daughter, Harley Quinn.

“But here’s a nickel’s worth of free advice for folks like this Troll: if you hate me (or my kid) this much, the better use of your time is to make YOUR dreams come true, instead of slamming others for doing the same. The best revenge is living insanely well – so if you wanna get back at a 17 year old girl for the grievous crime of enjoying her life, the best way to do it is to succeed in your OWN existence. Show the world WHY we should be paying attention to you instead of anyone else. Because randomly attacking others merely communicates how creatively and emotionally bankrupt you are.

You think you have something to offer the world but others are getting all the attention? Don’t bitch or punish the world: just create. Create something nobody’s ever seen before and there is a good chance the world will notice you. Attacking teen girls on the Internet is the saddest form of masturbation that exists and requires no discernible skill or talent. You want attention? Don’t make yourself mad, make something original and fun. Because if you’re not being useful in this world you’re being useless. Don’t be useless: go make stuff that makes people happy!”

This is why I truly love Kevin Smith.