Yeah, it’s been the slowest-burn relationship of the show. It’s been the one that it’s almost like friendship, friendship, friendship, and then what is it? I don’t even know how to label it. Even if he has a girlfriend, it’s human nature to still have feelings, depend on, and be caring about someone else. It’s interesting to see the fact that Meggy (Corbin Reid) notices it. She’s not stupid, and she notices it. It’s almost making Wes also notice it and Laurel, too, in a way, because it’s almost like they’re blinded as to how much they actually feel for each other.

Karla Souza to Entertainment Weekly October 2016

Remember how we recently had an anon who denied waurel being a slow burn? Well, there you go. Straight out of Karla’s mouth, unprompted (the phrase was not mentioned in the question).

Why you should always have Content Warnings

Alright! I’m working on a masterpost about an extremely triggering topic that multiple people have asked about, but I realized I should do this post first.

So you’re planning on including mature, dark themes in your work!  Fantastic!  Fiction is an awesome place to explore this kind of thing, and god knows I am a sucker for both writing and reading tragedy.

This is literally me. (source)

But putting your readers through the wringer and making them cry is very, VERY different from triggering a past trauma.

So what is a trigger, you ask?

No, not that kind of trigger.

A trigger is essentially something that reminds someone of a past trauma.  They can be virtually anything, as every trauma is uniquely experienced.  Specific triggers may not make sense to other people.  That doesn’t make them any less valid.  (See this post for a really, really good example).

You’ll never be able to know every possible trigger in your work.  But if you’re writing about a character going through a extremely graphic and traumatic experience, in my opinion, you have a duty to warn your audience about it.

You want your readers to enjoy your work, right?  A lot of people with triggers are going to be okay with triggering content if they are forewarned about it, and know that it’s coming.  They can mentally prepare themselves and brace for impact.  But if it comes out of the blue, WHAM.  They aren’t expecting that content, and it can not only ruin the work for them, it can mess up their entire day.  They probably won’t come back to reading your stuff, no matter how tastefully or respectfully it’s handled.

Even if it’s not a trigger of a past trauma, some people aren’t comfortable reading about certain topics.  That’s why I call these warnings “Content Warnings”.  You don’t have to be triggered by something to want to avoid it like the plague.

So here’s what you do.

First off, if the platform you’re using to post your work uses a rating and/or tagging system, USE IT.  Tag everything PROPERLY.  Examples: Child abuse, Major Character Death, etc.

Optional, but recommended: describe the situation a tiny bit to give context. 

Brief mention of past sexual assault, Major character death (graphic), Implied physical abuse (not shown)

Why do this?  Because some readers will avoid anything tagged with only “Sexual Assault”, but if they know it’s not shown, and only briefly mentioned, they may be okay with reading your work when they might have just given it a pass otherwise.

If your platform doesn’t allow that, or you don’t want to “spoil” your work, put a link that says “For content warnings, click here,” and have that go to a page that lists the potential triggers in your work.  People who don’t need content warnings won’t click it and won’t be spoiled; people who need them can click through and find out if they are gonna be okay with reading your work.

I also recommend putting some kind of warning in your description, such as “This work contains mature, violent, and/or traumatic content.  Reader discretion is advised.”

So what kind of things should you always give content warnings for?

  • Child abuse (of any kind)
  • Physical abuse / Torture
  • Emotional abuse
  • Domestic violence
  • Rape / Sexual Abuse
  • Incest
  • Major Character Death
  • Suicide or attempted suicide (even suicidal ideation)
  • Self-injury
  • Graphic violence / gore / death
  • Animal Cruelty
  • Explicit Sexual Content
  • Eating Disorders

THIS IS NOT AN EXHAUSTIVE LIST. It is just a list of some of the most common content warnings that people should use.  If one of your readers ever asks you to tag something, do it.

Using content warnings is not a judgement on your writing!  I also am not saying that you can’t write about these things.  I write about these things.  A lot.

So go forth, my followers!  Write about psychologically terrifying and awful things! Torture your fictional characters!  

Just don’t torture real people in the process of writing these things, kay?

Below the jump is the full list of content warnings I’ve accumulated in the book series I’ve written / am editing.  

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What´s your opinion about the "recent logline" of HTTYD 3? In my opinion, I can´t imagine Toothless having a mate (makes me kinda angry actually cause this was the only thing I didn´t want to happen in the movie); what do you think?

Reminder to people I have already begun using a #httyd 3 spoilers tag if you don’t want to know the information of the recent logline! :)

I hold mixed emotions regarding the recent logline, if I am going to be honest. 

On one side, I am happy to see that trouble will return to Berk proper, as versus, say, some more distant land. That’s more interesting to me. I furthermore have the small satisfaction that some of my predictions seem to be falling into play - or at least are still possible given this latest information. The phrase “both dragon and rider must make impossible decisions to save their kind” is one I was especially pleased to read. I have been wanting HTTYD 3′s dragon disappearance to arise out of a mutual decision made by Hiccup and Toothless for the betterment of each species. I have suspected the need for the dragons to disappear, even temporarily, would arise from Toothless encountering his own kind and seeing the need for the dragons to go (probably both to environmental factors and Drago’s looming threat). The fact that we’re getting a female Night Fury - plus Hiccup and Toothless each being leaders thinking about their own kind - sort of falls in line with my predictions I’ve been making for two years! Woot! XD Haha. I think that’s sort of fun and cool.

But I hold reservations for the same reason as you. The one thing I was hoping to avoid in the HTTYD trilogy was Toothless finding a mate. I was fine with the idea of Toothless finding a mate after the trilogy ends and we don’t see it on screen canonically, but I’m not sold on it being a plot element. 

My gf @pandamerium​ and I were talking about this in private the day the logline came out. I’m tagging her because she said everything perfectly, so I’m going to be reiterating a lot of the ideas she told me when we were chatting. She deserves the credit for helping me vocalize a good portion of this.

1. A lot of stories and sequels are about characters finding love. I especially feel as though it is a common trope to see characters hook up for the plot of a sequel. I’d love if we could be more original than this. And, honestly, a lot of sequels that are about love interests are things that I do not personally enjoy because it can feel contrived, lackluster compared to the original, less creative, and not deep. It can also at times jeopardize the nature of the characters as we see them in the original film. Romance shouldn’t… jeopardize… any person, fictional or real, but unfortunately media often does a poor job portraying romance, and in this manner reduces a character that can be very unique, independent, and noteworthy into something less interesting and strong. Basically, media can screw up romance and degrade a character’s integrity, relatability, and power. It makes me slightly worried about Toothless’ characterization and about whether or not I’ll even enjoy the premise of the story.

2. How to Train Your Dragon has never been about romantic love. Ever. Not in the book series, and not in the DreamWorks franchise. Romantic love has never been the intent of the franchise, and that is something I actually admire and respect. The book series carefully avoided any romances arising between the youths - Snotlout, Camicazi, Hiccup, Fishlegs, Speedifist, and more - never entered a relationship or had a shot at a relationship. The romance was restricted entirely to the adults and it never took center stage. In the movies, while Hiccstrid do become a couple, it’s not the core focus relationship of the story. The HTTYD trilogy thus far has focused on the deep platonic relationship between Hiccup and Toothless, and then the deep familial relationship of Hiccup with his parents. To me, that has been special, and these platonic and familial relationships have been so deep as to make the movies impacting. Hiccup’s relationships with Stoick and Toothless made the first movie. It’s not that romance can’t be impacting, too, but it’s been a powerful and intentional for HTTYD to expand upon other types of love - types of love which, frankly, don’t get enough attention in our modern day society. HTTYD isn’t about romantic love, and I worry it would take away so many of its points to turn it that direction.

3. DreamWorks actually does a semi-decent job giving us stories that aren’t all about romance. Sure, we’ve got Shrek, which is awesome. But we’ve also got Rise of the Guardians. No romance. The Prince of Egypt. Not a focus. Kung Fu Panda trilogy. No actual love interest for Po - which is really refreshing, to be honest. Home. Totally no romance in it - story of a human girl and her friend alien trying to find her mother. Adorable. Even stories that have romance, like The Croods, do a great job of demonstrating the importance of other types of love, like family, too. Plopping Toothless in with a mate feels a little awkward, especially as the dragon has been single for the first two films and has shown no interest in having a mate throughout the entire franchise. Which is a very big franchise. It’s a little late for us suddenly to toss in a hook up like this now.

4. Diving sort of off from #1 on a related point: I’m not a fan of stories where the source of conflict is about deciding between a friend and lover. I am not a fan of stories where the source of conflict is deciding between a friend and lover. This is an incredibly commonly done story, and it’s always frustrating as Helheim’s Gates. It creates this idea that developing both close friendship and romance is incompatible. That’s not the case. At all. A good romance, in fact, should not hamper anyone from having incredible platonic relationships. If the romance hampers platonic relationships, then you and/or your partner are doing something wrong likely, or if not you two, then your friend is doing something wrong. The point is, romance isn’t something that replaces friendship. It shouldn’t be repeatedly portrayed as something that threatens friendship. Let’s not make friends versus lovers a main source of conflict so often.

And yet that’s where I fear HTTYD 3 is headed. It looks like the impossible decision Toothless has to make is staying with Hiccup versus continuing his species’ existence through procreation (oh and also, that’s another trope I don’t like… “I AM THE LAST OF MY KIND SO I HAVE THIS HUGE URGE TO HAVE SEX!” …sorry for putting that so bluntly but yeah… really?). Anyway. This means that Toothless and Hiccup will have a bit of a conflict. It doesn’t mean they’ll be unfriendly toward another, but it means that there will be a struggle of conflicting loyalties anyway… centered on Friend vs. Mate. It looks like, from this logline, we’ll be getting the friend versus lover conflict, which for me is one of the worst plotlines people can write.

5. I am not a fan of hooking everyone up with everything. It feels contrived. Not every single character needs to be hooked up in your story for the story to have a happy ending. Not everyone’s happy ending involves getting romantically hooked up. This sort of thing, even though not explicitly stated, can perpetuate our ideas that the only way to be in a “meaningful” relationship is to be in something romantic, and can perpetuate our ideas that the only way to be truly “happy” is to be in something romantic. Which is bull. HTTYD has shown us how amazingly powerful relationships like family and friends can be, while at the same time not discounting that Hiccup can enjoy a great romance with Astrid. So can we please not hook up everyone down to the dragons? Toothless is - again - a character that hasn’t shown interest in having a mate. He’s extremely happy with Hiccup. So why even bring this up in the franchise?

These are my reservations. As you might suspect, the reservations run deep and hit at some things I feel about very personally. Ever since people started theorizing about HTTYD 3, I suggested the idea that Toothless encounters a pod of Night Furies. Not a single female - but a group of Night Furies. His conflict could be about him staying with his species and feeling welcome among his kind… a kind that lives far, aloof, from humans. Toothless, after all, has been a dragon that has seemed a bit awkward around the other dragons; when he is first introduced in HTTYD, he’s almost a bit of an outcast. He’s definitely the weird one out of the bunch. And we have even seen developments in the television series (not like the tv series should inform trilogy writing, but it gives a nice solidity) of Toothless curious finding others of his kind - think about We Are Family Part 1. Toothless could feel that inclusion of being among his kind again, sort of like Po feels ecstatic to find a whole bunch of pandas in KFP 3. It would make Toothless feel conflicted about where he should go. I feel that this tiny little change - from mate to Night Fury pod - would get rid of my reservations and still get all the plot ideas they seem to be going for.



While I may have reservations, that doesn’t mean I’m looking at HTTYD 3 negatively or with any sense of dread.

The truth of the matter is, I trust Dean DeBlois. I trust Bonnie Arnold. I trust every single individual who is part of the HTTYD movies. Why? Because I believe they have delivered us two astounding movies. Their track record is strong and makes me believe they can give us one final amazing movie - especially given as they came into writing HTTYD 2 with some plans for HTTYD 3. The story idea for the third movie has been in the running for a long time, has been carefully considered and honed, and by all accounts should be good.

Great, talented people who love these characters, who love this world, who love this story… are working to bring HTTYD 3 to life.

Cressida Cowell, author of the HTTYD book series, very recently visited the USA and checked out DreamWorks’ progress on HTTYD 3. She says it’s looking very, very good. Cowell obviously likes what they are doing.

And the weird thing is that HTTYD has a talent of taking common story elements and well-known tropes… and turning the narrative into something emotional, powerful, and “new.” The first HTTYD film was actually a very standard plot. It’s the sort of story that’s been done time and time again - a hapless young outcast kid stumbles into a friendship and begins to grow. He has a secret he has to hide else his society will reject him. His secret is found and he’s rejected. But he uses his unique ability - which once made him an outcast - to save the day. People realize that the hero they rejected is actually the person they need and should emulate. Like, we could go on and on and on about stories that do that sort of thing. And yet… even people I know who are tired of such a story paradigm loved HTTYD, and say that it was so well done that they can’t criticize it.

The books are full of tropes. FULL of tropes. FREAKING FULL of tropes. Yet these tropes are done with such an intention, and such an overexaggeration, that they become brilliant instead of unappealing. 

HTTYD has done things that I usually would advise writers to never do. HTTYD has done things I usually wouldn’t like in books or movies. And yet HTTYD has delivered for me time and time and time again.

Besides, HTTYD 3 is gonna have lots of cool things. Drago character expansion. Hiccup as chief. Toothless as alpha. More information about Night Furies learned. The whole disappearance of the dragons deal. There’s much to look forward to!

So I’m going to trust everyone working on HTTYD 3 to do a good job. Maybe I have reservations and reasons for those reservations. Maybe I really don’t want Toothless to have a mate.

But that doesn’t mean HTTYD 3 will be anything less than spectacular.

Hey guys! Remember when I wrote Recipe for Romance back in October and I promised the second chapter was coming soon?? Oops! But, it’s almost ready!

I’m re-posting chapter one so you all can refresh your memories! I hope to have chapter 2 up and ready by tomorrow or Saturday!  Just a reminder this is a Hallmark Channel worthy fluffy AU. Enjoy!

Recipe for Romance-Chapter 1


He could feel his sister’s eyes on him as he unloaded the boxes from the van. She’d been staring at him for a while now and Oliver knew he couldn’t ignore her anymore.

“What is it, Speedy?” he asked setting the boxes under the table. “You’ve been staring at me for an hour.”

“I’m just trying to figure out what’s different about you today,” Thea replied.

Oliver turned to see her staring at him, arms crossed over her chest, an appraising look on her face.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, heading back to van for another load. He bit back a sigh when he heard Thea following behind him. He knew his sister well enough to know she wasn’t going to let it go if she thought something was going on.

“Don’t play dumb with me, big brother,” Thea told him as she reached into the van beside him and grabbed some of the boxes. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her not to carry so much, but he resisted. He kept forgetting that she wasn’t a little kid anymore despite her constant reminders.

Oliver breathed a sigh of relief when Thea got distracted by people visiting their booth and couldn’t keep pestering him. The next several minutes were spent silently unloading boxes from the van and bringing them over to the tables. He smiled softly to himself when he paused and saw the people approaching their tables.Verdant Farms was new to the Starling City Farmer’s Market, but they had already developed a reputation for quality produce and meats. Not to mention their homemade baked goods sold out every week.

Thinking of the baked goods, Oliver remembered that he needed to save one. Glancing briefly at Thea, he saw that she was distracted by a customer and took his chance. Quickly, he snagged one of the cinnamon chip scones he’d made this morning and wrapped it in a napkin.

“Feeling hungry?” Oliver dropped his head back on his shoulders with a groan. He should have known that if Thea didn’t see him, Digg would.

Keep reading



I hope your training is going well!

Just wanted to remind you about my YouTube channel. I just updated my short introduction video, check it out if you don’t already subscribe! :)

I really appreciate any re-blogs, it all helps me get out there!

I post:

Martial Arts Tutorials
Freestyle Striking Drills
Vegan MMA
Heavy Bag Combinations
Partner Training Drills
Sparring Tips
And all with a Great British accent.

What more could you possibly ask for?

azalea-kira  asked:

My favourite post has got to be the Hanamaru falls asleep at the computer. Was wondering what your favourite post to draw was?

Ah, yes, the zuracintosh post…. a masterpiece.

Well ! If you ask me, I’d say I had lots of fun making the game ! I had tons of fun writing the dialogs, creating athmospheres, etc etc ! Of course it was exhausting, I went through dozens of all nighters, but it was worth ! Who knows, maybe there will be a sequel… dunno ! We’ll see !

As for a post, welp, I liked the summer in Uranohoshi ! As I was watching Sunshine every saturday, learning more and more about the Aqours girls, meanwhile, I was actively developing their child selves here ! And summer means bright colors, happy faces, and it reminds me a lot of my own childhood ! So i put a lot of my own memories here ! Basically, I’m really happy when an event is taking place, because that’s when I use my own story and my friends’/family’s as well the most !!!

I don’t know why but I’ve suddenly been overcome with this wave of gratefulness for everyone, and it just made me want make a post reminding everyone I love them. So here you go: I love all of you. All of my followers: no matter how flawed, how ill, how neurodivergent; you are all worthy of love and I love you regardless of anything. I love you all and I don’t care about your unhealthy coping mechanisms or your ugly symptoms or your mistakes. I love you I love you I love you and I want you to know that if you ever want to talk or chat or ask or you see something you want to share: I’m here and love talking to you all. I’ve received so many messages recently and it makes me so happy being able to help someone out or just chat to different people. I love all of you. So much. So tag me in the things you like and send me messages because I adore you.

And just as a special extra to all my followers with AVPD: Don’t you dare think this doesn’t apply to you because it does. I love you and even if you feel you can’t approach or talk to me, I love you anyway.

- Amy <3

anonymous asked:

Hello! I don't know if you played Rise of Tomb Raider yet, but having played it recently, it really reminds me of your Sam/Lara fic from awhile ago, 'she traces your scars and rebuilds your world'. As I played, I kept on wishing it was Sam instead of Jonah who's being Lara's sidekick in this adventure, and I think the Sam you wrote would've been the perfect person for Lara. I never got the chance to ask how did you get the idea for Roanoke and the Lost Colony for your story. (1/2)

(2/2) The way you wrote the books Lara read on ‘she traces’ lead me to believe either you did actual research on the subject or without a doubt a damn fine writer for infusing facts and folklore into a format fit for a TR game. I mean, if you played Rise (sorry for keep on repeating this!) you’ll see Lara collecting various artifacts throughout her journey, and the way she speaks, and the items explanations, they’re all so similar to your writing. Do you have plans to revisit TR verse?  (3/3). Long ask Anon - oops!! If not, what caught your interest at the moment? I saw few WestWorld reblogs and so excited that someone else is following this series!

Hi, anon! Thanks for your super sweet message. :) I have indeed played Rise of the Tomb Raider (minus a couple of the DLC because whoops, I keep forgetting). I was definitely missing Sam in the sequel and her one mention (that she didn’t want to talk to Lara) was heartbreaking. :( 

I got the idea for using Roanoke from Lara’s journal at the end of the first game. It says ‘Croatoan’, which was the word that was carved into the tree at the Lost Colony after White returned and all the settlers had vanished. That was… pretty much the only detail I knew about the colony before I started writing (I was a Classic Civilizations major, so my focus was really more on Greek and Roman myths, not so much American ones), so yeah, I did a bit of research so I didn’t sound completely moronic. Glad that I apparently succeeded. (Though I also did make some stuff up haha.) You’re so sweet for taking the time to say so, too. :) 

As for revisiting the verse, I actually do have vague plans to do so, thanks to the winner of my Extra Life raffle requesting Lara/Sam! It’ll be a one-shot situation and I’m not entirely sure what it will involve yet, but… it’ll happen eventually. Unfortunately, I haven’t been super inspired to write for any new fandoms since Person of Interest broke my heart, but I have been loving Westworld. I think it’s probably too smart for me to write about, but I am loving the ride. I don’t know how I’ll wait until 2018 for the next season! D: 

Anyways, thanks again for the sweet message!!

anonymous asked:

Real person fic is hella creepy. The other kind are fine for characters, it's just creative writing. I just scroll past all of them, much like I scroll past pro-mango posts or posts that totally violate my eyeballs (she reminds me of a goldfish breathing underwater).

A reminder that
  • bisexual boys who have a girlfriend are still part of the LGBT+ community
  • bisexual boys who’ve never kissed a boy before are still part of the LGBT+ community
  • bisexual boys who are more attracted to girls than to boys are still part of the LGBT+ community
  • bisexual boys who’ve never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before are still part of the LGBT+ community
  • bisexuals are part of the LGBT+ community

Hannibal looking lovingly at Will for anon (AND Will looking lovingly at Hannibal because I said so)

friendly reminder that since a lot of people have decided xmas now starts right after halloween: not everyone celebrates xmas or wants to participate.  don’t shame people for not participating in xmas traditions or blacklisting xmas. if people ask to not be wished a merry xmas, don’t wish them a merry xmas. don’t get upset if people express their frustrations with how christian normativity makes it impossible to escape this non-secular holiday for almost two months. if people want nothing to do with xmas, please just let them be.

!! Here’s a reminder that Eat Jin live on V app is just a few days away!!

Eat Jin live airs on June 11 (KST)! There is no known time of when it will start at the moment (presumably at 12AM KST but that’s not confirmed anywhere, it may air at a random time). For those confused about V app having paid videos there has been no announcement of Eat Jin being on Vlive + so it is highly likely that it is free!

Now here’s your important reminders for the show:

  • Do NOT ask for other members (This is Jin’s show, asking for others when he’s on is very disrespectful!)
  • If Jin does have a member or multiple members on the show please give all the members the same amount of love and attention! 
  • Give lots of hearts
  • Compliment Jin as much as possible, tell him you love Eat Jin and you’re glad he’s doing it back on the V app
  • No rude or sexual comments please

Never commented during an Eat Jin live before or any other live before? Also have you never not tuned into an Eat Jin live before? Here’s why you should consider doing it and making this day important for Jin: 

So in short we are very lucky and should be very grateful that Jin is doing an Eat Jin on the V app again! I know time zones make it hard to watch live streams but if you can, please make this Eat Jin very special for Jin! This is our opportunity to let him know we really love and appreciate him! :’)

Also it would be great if anyone reading this has a large following on twitter and can help spread this! Thank you~

invisible audio: the final reckoning

hey everyone! as of tonight we’ve pushed an update that should fix autoplaying audio/video in all of the situations that it occurs, whether triggered by Anti-Capitalism, Blacklist, or another third-party tool. thanks for sticking with us while we trudge waist deep together through the mire of code that comprises Tumblr. trust me—this was truly a sticky bug to unravel.

This update is part of XKit Patches version 6.4.0. You can update XKit Patches using the “Update All” button:

get at us with your feedback! we’re real humans with schedules and sleep cycles and occasionally jobs and stuff, but you can generally reach us in our ask box, our support blog, or our live support chat room. If nobody is online, you always can leave a message for us to read later.

Just a reminder because these posts are spreading farther then our usual audience: We’re a team of developers that run and maintain the New XKit project, a fork of XKit that was started after the original was abandoned in late 2014. New XKit is on version 7.7.1 (chrome, opera), 7.7.3 (firefox), or 7.7.2 (safari). Anything earlier then 7.6.x is old/original XKit, and you’ll need to disable it to install New XKit. (You can migrate your settings, but it’s a little involved—disable for now, and come ask us about it later)

some quick links for those of you who might not have New XKit already:

(quick plug again—If you’re interested in helping us run New XKit, for example by answering asks or helping other users with questions + problems, come stop by and introduce yourself! we don’t bite, we promise!)

Since there’s a gifset of Hitler floating around going on about how human he was and talking about luncheons and playing with kids and flirting and people are calling it ‘intellectual commentary’ let me just remind you all those ‘intellectual commenters’ are nazi and pro hitler blogs who deny the holocaust even happened. No I will not reblog it to add commentary because I don’t want to touch that post with a ten foot pole.

Hitler orchestrated the murder and genocide of 11 million people. Hitler is the reason millions of families world wide will never, ever be whole. Hitler is the reason MY family will never be whole.

No amount of luncheons, children played with, or flirting he ever did will change that he was a monster. Yes, he was a human being. But that post is glorifying the fuck out of him and you’re supporting nazism when you reblog that ‘intellectual discourse’.

tonight i was at the bar with three other hot shit professional whipsmart lady friends when a drunk but affable dude came over to hit on us. he tried some mild negging to our increasing delight (one of my friends literally had her chin in her hands, fluttering her eyelashes at him like he was an adorable toddler as he kept trying to neg at her), and when that didn’t pan out, he told us he was “really into philosophy” these days. little did he know what table he had sat down at. we all immediately started quizzing him. “what kind of philosophy?” 

“oh, you know,” he said, waving his hand. “just a few books here and there.” 

“that reminds me,” my friend said to me, “i have to lend you that new haraway.”

“didn’t you send me an article about derrida the other day?” says another friend.

“are you more into post-structuralist or pre-Socratic?” another friend asked him, trying to throw the poor guy a bone

“uhhhhhhh,” he said, sweating nervously, “i’m into that one guy. you know. the irish one. you know. what’s his name.” we all waited quietly and patiently as he made increasingly desperate hand gestures, waiting for one of us to offer him a few names. finally his internal clock ran out, and he said, “you know. Kant.”

“ah,” i said, “yes. that great Irish philosopher, Immanuel Kant.”

by now we were just being mean. one of my friends kept pushing him to actually name one of the books he’d been reading, and he finally mumbled, “you know, the motorcycle one.”

“this was not the conversation you were expecting, was it?” i asked him. no, he admitted, no it was not.