anonymous asked:

wait superman is afraid of quicksand? does he realize he can exert far more force than it can and could totally just fly out?

he also flails away from bees despite knowing that he is physically incapable of being stung by bees and doesn’t like stepping on cracks because he worries about his mother’s back

clark kent is not always a rational man


I mean, on one hand I get that Penguin has sent some mixed messages (see hug when a rational person would have gone in for a kiss) and if I were Ed, I would probably have decided that he’s not interested and just moved on.

On the other hand, Ed, you little shit, are you seriously going to be late to an intimate dinner party because you found a lady you like?! And then I suppose you’re going to tell Penguin all about it at dinner?! Dude! Dude!!!

Of course, I’m emotionally invested in this so I’m especially irritated, but jesus FUCK, even if it weren’t a romantic affair, if I invite a friend over for dinner and they arrive late and start telling me it’s because they found a seriously hot person who reminds them of their ex, I would be FURIOUS. I made DINNER and you little shit are LATE because you had to fall in love five minutes before my party?! You have your entire fucking life to fall in love, but you only have thirty seconds to eat a soufflé, you omnishambles of a man!

Sorry. The gay and the food are two issues I care deeply about, and this scene managed to touch both.

anonymous asked:

one time my team and i couldn't push a payload to victory bc for a solid 10 seconds a sound barrier-nano boosted-speed boosted lucio was doing super sonic hotline bling on our payload and booping us away when we tried to shoo him away. we ended up losing be he gave his team enough time to respawn and use their ults on us

jfc that sounds like a nightmare

also ‘super sonic hotline bling’ omg

I love that, alone, they are so achingly romantic without even realising it, without it being sappy and cheesy, without it being out of character for them…

You can feel the tentativeness, the awkwardness that still lingers, the want, the love and understanding they have. It’s pretty beautiful.

Shadows among us

Using @dogmatix prompts (it seemed that title ones are my jam). I reaalllyy liked writing this one.

When Anakin was nine, his Master came to Tatooine with his own Apprentice. 

That was true in most universes.

Except in this one, they weren’t Jedi.

« Master, why are we on this dreadful planet ? There is nothing here but Hutts and sand. » drawled Dooku, scowling at said sand as it crunched beneath his booth.
« Patience, my former Apprentice. » said Sidious. « You’ll soon understand. »

They soon arrived in a slave village, one of many on the planet. Nothing usual, for slavery was common in the Empire.
Darth Sidious didn’t slow his pace, ignoring the stares and the whispers with practiced ease, until he reached a small hut.
In front of it stood a woman and a child.

The woman bowed.

« My Lord… » she whispered, her hands clutched in front of her.
« I see you have raised him quite well. » said the Sith, observing the child with a satisfied smile. « You have completed your task. Even if my Master is dead, I’ll fulfill his promise. Shmi Skywalker, you and your son are free. »
He placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder, steering him towards Dooku.
« Lord Tyrannus, meet Anakin Skywalker, my new Apprentice. You’ll teach him when the matters of the Empire will prevent me to do so. »

The Sith Temple was a magnificient place, all in red, black and gold, standing proudly on the highest peak of Korriban, surrounded by thousands of previous Sith’s tombs. The whole planet basked in the purest Dark Side, the Force thrumming through Anakin’s veins as he opened himself to it, letting his emotions run free, freeing him as well.

Coruscant was good, but he disliked politics.
Nothing could compare to Korriban.
He was home.

Dooku and Anakin were standing in front of the Sith Court. The Emperor and Supreme Lord was here, of course, his Master always presiding if he could. 

Darth Maul and Asajj Ventress were sitting in either side of him. Usually, Darth Tyrannus would seat where Ventress was, but today, he was the one sent on a mission.

The Lady Sith smirked at him, and anger filled the room. Sidious smirked.

« I sensed a great disturbance in the Force. » he intoned, and both Sith stopped their glaring contest to listen. « It came from my homeworld, Naboo. While the Dark Side remains as strong as ever, I will not allow this warning to go unchecked. Darth Tyrannus, you will go, and you will take my Apprentice as well. Make sure that there is nothing on that planet that threatens the Empire. »

« Yes, Master. »

Naboo was a beautiful planet and its capital, Theed, was truly one of the Empire’s shiniest jewels. The palace, in traditional black and gold, had a magnificent roof covered in rubies, forming the Sith word for ‘Richness’, the Dark Side pulsing around it.
Some believed that it was imbued with Sith’s magicks and that it was the reason of Naboo’s slave market’s success, for you would never find better (and more expensive) slaves than on those auctions.
Most of them were sold to the clothing companies, for they were especially talented in the making of fine, expensive and impressive robes.

Anakin could see some of that work for himself when they met Queen Amidala. The young woman was absolutely stunning in dark silk and transluscent veils, a crown of grenats and obsidians resting regally on her brow.
She was not like them, but the young Sith could feel her presence in the Force, smooth and soft like velvet, but hiding an iron will.

« Your Majesty. » said Dooku, bowing. « As beautiful as ever. I’ll ask one more time, will you not reconsider your position ? You would make a magnificent Sith. »
« I thank you for your praise, Lord Tyrannus, but I believe my talents are of better use here. After all, if I had not felt the Light Side user, who would have warned the Emperor ? » Amidala answered, confident in her own power, even in front of the Emperor’s right hand.

Dooku immediately frowned.

« Light side user ? » he repeated, alarmed.
« Yes. »

They had tracked the criminal across two planets before ending up on Coruscant to foil, in extremis, his plans to kill a Senator.

The man had way more contacts than he should, and Anakin knew his Master would be looking closely on Alderaan’s loyalties once he was informed of what Tyrannus and him had discovered.

The man was no ordinary Light Side user : he was a Jedi. They were supposed to have been destroyed thousands of years ago and yet, there they were, facing one, two red lightsabers against one blue. The fight was far more difficult than it should have been, especially at two against one, but their opponent, a human male in his fifties, was quick and resourceful.

They ended up in the empty Galactic Court Room, fighting among the empty pods where representants of the Empire’s many planets would normally seat.
A well-placed kick sent Anakin flying down, crashing on the floor.

The Jedi used the distraction to behead Lord Tyrannus.

As the Sith exploded, Anakin screamed in rage, the Dark Side flowing through him. He raised his hand, sending a wave of electricity toward the Jedi, who was caught unaware.
The young Sith jumped at him, his power and his speed enhanced beyond measure by the Dark Side flowing through him.

He cut the Jedi in two and sneered at the body simply… disappeared, without a single trace, not even a wave.
Jedis were weak, even in their deaths.

« You did well, my Apprentice. » said solemnly Sidious. « Rise, Lord Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. »

There was a lot of important people at the raising of Dooku’s pyramid, when the Sith Master’s holocron was activated inside his funeral chamber. 

Anakin stood near his Master, his arms crossed.

« They all fear the return of the Light Side. Fools. » he sneered. « The Jedi is dead. »
« He is, Lord Vader. » answered his Master, with a cold expression on his face. « But Jedis do not stand alone. When there is one, there is usually another. A Master, and a Padawan. »
« Which one did I kill, then ? » asked Anakin, scowling. « The Padawan ? Or the Master ? »

Near them, the young Stewjon Senator they had saved, Obi-Wan Kenobi, softly smiled.

Forget I Even Asked You

((SO I had a whole soapbox written out but then I clicked a button or something and the post was erased. Screw tumblr. Lets try this again.

After almost a month and a half, here we are. The final fic for Incorrectsepheap’s 200 followers.
Thank you all so much for following this blog, especially when I’m inactive for weeks at a time. And thank you all for so many great requests! It was so hard to pick just one but I found inspiration and stuck with it. So here, have a fic about our favorite couple, Simon and Lucy, meeting in dance class.

Thank you to @kayespuzzles and @high-tea-with-gali for proofreading!
Until next time, @geekyzelda A.K.A.: Incorrectsepheap))

Part 1

“You may choose your partners. Anyone left over, I will assign partnerships.”

A mad scramble ensued as everyone dashed to find their friends or to ask their crush. Simon was left in the chaos. He knew no one in the class, in fact, he didn’t even want to take a dance class. He was forced into it because of scheduling conflicts.

The class parted and there she was. Her long blond hair was plaited back over her shoulder, she wore heavy shoes that looked too big for her feet and the hem of her tunic was splattered with mud. She looked lost as the friend she had come to class with was lead away on the arm of an older boy. Simon saw his chance and seized it.

He elbowed his way through the already formed couples until he reached her. She was shorter close up then Simon had originally thought. When he tapped her shoulder for her attention she spun around whipping him in the chest with her plait.

The girl eyed Simon for a minute (was that disgust?) before she snapped, “What?”

“Do, um, do you want to be my partner?” Simon asked, second guessing his judgement of the girl.

She took a good minute to look Simon up and down before saying, “In your dreams, Heap.” With that she spun back around and stormed across the classroom.

“Well, forget I even asked you!” He called to her retreating back. Resisting the urge to call her a bad word, Simon crossed his arms and looked around the room for a girl to ask. There seemed to be no one left. Almost everyone was standing awkwardly next to a person of the other gender except him and-

Keep reading

I’ve had to unfollow some people tonight, which makes me sad. I try my best to stay out of drama in this fandom. I stay in my lane, keep my head down and avoid the haters wherever possible.

And now this fuckery. My love and support for Daryl is what will carry me through this show to the end. It’s beyond painful to realize that so many people completely do not understand this character I love so dearly.

But I draw the line at laying blame at his feet solely because, apparently, using him as a scapegoat is a convenient way to avoid facing the grief of losing a beloved character.

Sadly, it’s easier to propagate hate than to deal with emotions.

If this is the case for you, I’m sorry. Truly I am. But don’t think for one second that I’ll allow your bullshit to show up on my dash. I will unfollow you. I will block you. I hope you’ll do the same with me.

they’re friends and they’re happy!!! (they made frisk’s necklace out of cardboard, ribbon and glitter glue!)

Well, that seems……scientific?