that's why it looks like shit

Deadpool (2016) Sentence Starters
  • "Shit... did I leave the stove on?"
  • "You're my hero!"
  • "No, no, no, THAT I ain't."
  • "I had another Liam Neeson nightmare."
  • "You know, they made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent."
  • "What the SHIT?"
  • "I'm gonna wait out here, okay?"
  • "Fake laughter. Hiding real pain."
  • "I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s."
  • "Yeah, technically, this is murder."
  • "Love is blind, ____."
  • "This shit's gonna have nuts in it."
  • "You're a lovely lady/man, but I'm saving myself for ____."
  • "That's why I brought him/her."
  • "Do you like what you see?"
  • "Your face is the stuff of nightmares."
  • "Like a testicle with teeth."
  • "You will die alone."
  • "You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado."
  • "So, am I suppose to just smile and wave you out the door?"
  • "Think of it like spring cleaning."
  • "Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness."
  • "Finish fucking her the fuck up."
  • "Language, please."
  • "Suck a cock!"
  • "I'd go with you, but... I don't want to."
  • "If your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"
  • "Maximum effort."
  • "I'd say that you sound like an infomercial. But not a good one, like Slap Chop, more Shake Weight-y."
  • "Do you want any clothes that are not monochromatic? Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II."
  • "Listen ___, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much."
  • "Wanna get fucked up?"
  • "Have you decided what you're gonna say to her?"
  • "Fuck me!"
  • "I don't have time for your goody two-shoes bullshit right now!"
  • "Why such a douche this morning?"
  • "Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up."
  • "Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo."
  • "Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you."
  • "You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!"
  • "That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long."
  • "You're really gonna fuck this up for me?"
  • "You've got something in your teeth."
  • "Do you have an off switch?"
  • "We have everything we need now."
  • "I swear to God, I will find you in the next life and I'm gonna boom-box Careless Whisper outside your window."
  • "Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?"
  • "That was not mean! I'm proud of you!"
  • "I'm gonna need all the guns."
  • "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  • "Seltzer water and lemon for blood."
  • "It reeks like old lady pants in here."
  • "Your crazy matches my crazy. Big time."
  • "Four or five moments. That's all it takes to become a hero."

5 mile run new Boku No Hero thoughts are as follows:

  • this is my all-time favorite “previously on” section. it was highlighting Bakugou’s resolve to win by mashing together all the clips of him declaring his ambitions but because its Bakugou it was actually just a 2 minute montage of Bakugou fucking screaming
  • Todo acts naive but i doubt that more and more each day with the number of sick fucking burns he’s gotten in at people, case in point:
  • Bakugou: -storms on in to Todo’s room and starts yelling at him.-
    Todo: Hey Bakugou :))) you know what this reminds me of? :))) That guy you fucking hate. :))) Except he did this better. :)))) You really cant ever live up to him can you :)))))))
  • Bakugou calls Todoroki “IcyHot” in the dub and I watched the dub today specifically in hopes that he’d call him IcyHot again and he DID.
  • I’m not done with this scene because the PHRASING HAD ME IN STITCHES–Bakugou stormed in like “Hey IcyHot, is this how you fucking treat your opponents!?” while blowing up Todo’s table. And Todo responded with “That’s what Midoriya said too…” I dont think Deku said it quite like that, Todo. But too late now I can’t stop picturing:
  • Deku voice: “Hey you stupid piece of shit sore-muscle hot-and-cold sports pack you better fucking look at me while i stand here and break all my fingers and yell, because fuck you, you fucking icepack.”
  • Bakugou his table
  • His table Bakugou
  • This is the screamiest Bakugou’s been to date, I’m glad for him
  • ominous BOOM noises from inside the iceberg
  • dub!Sero called Bakugou a “moleman” and i want the world to know that Bakugou’s been canonically called a “moleman”. Moleman Bakugou.
  • Bakugou, grabbing Todo by the hair and piledriving him into the ground: “GIT FUCKING GUD, ICYHOT
  • Aizawa: -provides commentary on the strategy, strengths, and weaknesses of the children’s fighting techniques-
    Present Mic: -sees Todo surfing on an ice wave and says “Looks like fun!!!”-
  • Bakugou: “Use your full power IcyHot! I want the world to know you’re trying to destroy me!! THIS MEANS NOTHING IF I CAN’T SURPASS DEKU!!”
    Deku:
    (Regina George voice) Why are you so obsessed with me?
  • Bakugou, or better known by his full name, Katsuki “Fidget Spinner” Bakugou
  • Bakugou: -screams incoherently for 20 minutes trying to rile Todo up-
    Todo:
    Deku: -says one thing-
    Todo, heart racing, palms sweaty: holy fuck. holy shit. thats my fucking boyfriend.
  • Srs for a moment, I really adore and am moved by Todo’s character development here. The easy shonen answer would be for Todo to be “fixed” following his fight with Deku, but the poor kid’s sitting on like 10 years of trauma. He’s not fixed. He’s healing. And healing comes with pain and doubt sometimes.
  • Like I actually clutched my shirt while his fire unraveled.
  • Bakugou: -pulls of the coolest fucking spin projectile move in history-
    Bakugou: -lands like this-


  • IT’S HERE. THE GRANITE SLAB OF VICTORY
  • We are blessed with Dad Might in this house today
  • Todo: “My path forward isn’t as clear as I thought. There’s still someone I need to settle things with…”
    Todo: -steps off the podium, walks into the crowd, punches Endeavor in the face- “Fuck you Dad”
  • In the sub All Might calls Bakugou’s face “amazing” but in the dub he calls it “scary” and 4 years were added to my life when dub!All Might gave Bakugou the once over with the medal in his mouth and went “…still scary.”
  • dub!Bakugou is great here too with “I DON’T WANT THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE. KEEP YOUR TRASH AWAY FROM ME HHGNGNGHG”
  • I want to empahsize that several hours pass after that scene cut. It’s evening. The kids are changed back into their school uniforms AND back at the classroom. And Bakugou still has the fucking medal in his mouth. No one took it out. 
  • me: fuck…i hope iida will be okay
    also me, who’s read the manga: (hes not gonna be okay)
  • The hospital scene makes me kinda want to take back all the making fun of Todo I did because…god fucking this poor child…he deserved so much better
  • Protect Mama Midoriya she deserves the world

KATSUKI YOU CAN’T WAKE UP AT NOON AND START YELLING

Lance convinces Shiro to try on his clothes and Shiro does but he can’t yank the jeans up past his ass or get the shirt up over his arms without threads snapping so he’s standing there, pants mid-thigh, tiny shirt around his elbows, laughing at how ridiculous he looks and Lance is like *whispers to god* thank yo u

Going to the Yule Ball with Draco Malfoy would include...

Originally posted by crystalgreene-justromance

request -  Dancing with Draco at the Yule Ball.

a/n - i kind of changed it up and made it into a yule all with draco thing since i had a lot more ideas to offer into the request, hope you don’t mind!!! xxx

- he probably asked you by using a charm to be all cutesy

- he only went all out because he thinks you’re the absolute cutest in the school

- also would probably beat crabbe and goyle up if they called they said anything about you that was negative

- him asking fellow slytherins to tie his bowtie

- ‘draco all you’ve ever told me to do is go stick a dragons egg up my arse why should i help you now’

- ‘I KNOW BUT JUST THIS ONE TIME CMON’

 - waits for you at the bottom of the staircase in front of the great hall

- might i mention that you’ve already tripped on your dress a good 5 times already

- your mom sent you that dress okay!!! it was special and you hope he would like it

- and oh boy did he

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4

“On a night like this, a man might believe anything’s possible.”

me when i found out EXO's ages

Originally posted by superpotterwholockflash

“im sorry, the old david can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh, cause he’s dead!”

the 99 squad as john mulaney quotes
  • Jake Peralta: I have had a very long day. I am very small... and I have no money... so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • Amy Santiago: Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank you that's my favorite part too." But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself.
  • Charles Boyle: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Rosa Diaz: Some babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • Raymond Holt: When I was a little boy, I was more like a 67-year-old gay man that's kind of over it sexually.
  • Terry Jeffords: Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • Gina Linetti: I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like, 28 years, and then I walked right out here.
  • Kevin Cozner: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • Cheddar: Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken.
"Relationships in books are unrealistic"

Why is it “unrealistic” to want someone as patient as Sam?

Why is it “unrealistic” to want someone who cares and loves you unconditionally and does everything in their power to make you feel safe like Rhys?

Why is it so “unrealistic” to want someone who loves you for what you are, even if you’re completely shattered and broken like Rowan?

Why is it unrealistic to want to help each other grow like rowaelin?

Why is it unrealistic to show each other true emotions and not hold back like feysand?

I don’t understand why thats “unrealistic” Are my “standards to high”? Why is it wrong for me to want these things? People tell me constantly my standards are to high and I don’t understand why. I want someone who truly loves me for me, not to date people to look cute and be “goals” on twitter. And don’t tell me to give someone a chance when they straight up ask to date. I want them to know me, the REAL me. Not none of that “slide into their dms” shit.

Why is it so unrealistic?
I’m just going to have to wait.
Sorry I just needed to rant

How Jimin ended up in the bathtube everytime
  • PDnim: So, what do you think about the concept?
  • Jungkook: It's shit like hell. Why the fuck have i to sit in a bathtube?
  • PDnim: But i think it would be nice if you would do this, because you are from Busan, and Busan is famous for the beach.
  • Namjoon: That makes sense.
  • Jungkook: No way.
  • PDnim: Jungkook-
  • Jungkook: Take Jimin-Hyung. He is from Busan too!
  • PDnim: But-
  • Jungkook: He's small, cute and looks fucking hot like hell when he's wet. Imagine how the girls would love it.
  • PDnim: Jungkook....that's a really nice idea.
  • Jungkook: I know.
  • -years later-
  • Jimin: Why the fuck i'm the only one who ended up in a bathtube everytime? I'm a mermaid or something?
  • Jungkook [from far away]: YOU ARE FREAKING FUCKING HOT WHEN YOU'RE WET! WE FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!
  • Jimin [blushing]: Oh....okay...then...
super massive richjake headcanon post

ok so basically this is gonna be a huge headcanon post about richjake that @richardgoranski and i made over the past like month (anything in bold is a direct quote from connor)


  • so back when chloe and jake are dating chloe is like ‘i think we should break up’ and jakes like um why and chloe is like well clearly youre in love with rich and also i like brooke
  • and jake is like um what i have no idea what youre talking about and chloe turns jake around to look at rich whos on the other side of the hallway/room and his breath hitches and chloe is like smh u Gayass
  • and so chloe is like jake just ask him out!! but jake keeps denying it like haha what im not in love with rich idk where youre getting this from until chloe just stands there and gives him A Look and jake is just like…..ok fine but what if he says no and chloe is like wtf youll be fine
  • so jake goes up to rich and is uncharacteristically nervous and red and he confesses to rich and asks him out and rich is like omg….and accepts and BOOM theyre dating 

under the cut are just some (lmao i mean A LOT) random headcanons that dont go in any particular order

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chestburstr  asked:

do you have more distorted (or at least really amusing) looking starscream images?? pleas my crops are dying

why yes, yes I do
I mean, when is starscream not amusing am I right

friendly reminder that if you’re not following my twitter dot com, you’re missing out bc thats where I post shit like this almost all the time