that's what parents do

2

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”

But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it. To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy. The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm. 

A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat. 

Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.

This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.

I kinda have this headcanon that Hiccup and Astrid didn’t tell their kids how  Hiccup lost his leg for the first few years, but instead would use it as a potential future consequence for misbehaving.  

Like, “Eat your vegetables.”

“I DON’T WANNA EAT MY VEBATEGELS!”

“I didn’t either when I was your age. Guess what happened?”

“What?”

My leg fell off.”

*kid gasps, shovels veggies into mouth*

Or something like that. Gobber makes it even worse. “Gobber, did you not eat your vegetables?” “I did eat my veggies, why?” “Then how did your leg fall off? And your arm?” And then Gobber leans in really close and whispers,

“I refused to take a bath. If you don’t wash them, they get so dirty they fall off.” 

Everyone gets in on it. It’s the unwritten parenting rule: you back up each other’s silly imaginary consequences. Hiccup’s leg becomes the toddler terrifying shorthand for a while. Want your kid to stop doing something? Tell them that’s how Chief Hiccup lost his leg. Want them to do something? Tell them if they don’t their leg will fall off and that’s what happened to Chief Hiccup. Go ask him, he’ll tell you. It falls apart after a few years and the kids start getting old enough to question these things, but while they are little? Don’t talk back to your mother, or your leg will fall off.

When people buy your hatchlings and give them lore and apparel.  

Originally posted by iamchloejean

8

every rwby villain ship
       cinder/roman

(x)

4

nailed it

I want to free of this pain, that’s all I want.

someone: after all they had been through, han and leia deserved a better son. they actually deserved a daughter like rey. god, they must hate their own child.

me:

hey everyone. if i have to say “his nipples” in a disapproving voice while scrolling the web, that’s when i know it’s time to log off.

GOD THAT WAS PRETTY DAMN GLORIOUS HO L Y SH I T!! I NEEDED LIKE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I COULD COLLECT MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER HNNNNNG !!!

(BNHA 97 spoilers under read more)

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:{{ i k33p s33ing people talk about how they were beaten into respect and i just wanna say

:33 me and my lusus never fought physically. she never hit me. and i always appreciated it and now as a mother i understand how hard it is to not hit my kids. they do frustrating things

:33 but i f33l like hitting them would only do the opposite. talking with coworkers has shown that physical discipline has caused them to resent their parents

:33 they didnt do anything out of respect. they did it out of fear. and thats what i read when looking up parenting methods. they dont do anything because they respect you. they do it because they fear punishment

:33 but thats just me thr33 cents

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SouRin Week: [ ᴅ ᴀ y - ѕ ɪ x ]

R o c k: Meeting the family

–I’ve read a lot of stuff about how Sousuke’s parents are mean, and sad stuff about Rin’s dad so… i like to think that, if Rin’s dad were alive, he would be a little shit competitive parent, and i’m pretty sure Sousuke’s dad is, well, maybe a little serious, but not mean, and also competitive. Both families get along pretty well, to the point they knew Sousuke would choose one of the Matsuoka siblings as his bride/groom.