that's the sound of my heart breaking into a billion little pieces

anonymous asked:

Hi! Would you write a blurb about the Marauders, reader and friends drinking together during Christmas or a holiday and Sirius acting all cuddly with reader because he's drunk and he gets very touchy feely when he drinks? If not, that's ok :) thank you!

I might have changed this a little bit and it’s possibly the worst thing I’ve written so I deeply apologise in advance and hope you can forgive my sorry ass.


It was Christmas, your favourite holiday of the entire year. It was amazing how easily you just jumped out of your bed even with the thin sheet of ice that covered your windows that made your body shiver and the too early hour that struck on your dorm’s clock.

You had never dressed yourself so fast, not giving a shit before putting the most festive jumper that you had in pure excitement. Euphorically getting all the presents settled at the end of your bed and leaving in a hurry to the Gryffindor dormitory, trying to find your friends in a rush. You ran carefully not to drop anything and entered your best friends’ room as if you had just won the lottery, and the prize was in their room.

“HAPPY CHRISTMAS!” You shouted in delight, finding your four favourite boys messily waking up and smiling at your joy. You sat in the exact middle of their room and settled all your presents in front of you, waiting for your friends to sit next to you with their own gifts so you could open them all together. The boys got excited at the realisation that it was truly Christmas now they were a little more awake and let themselves be as euphoric as you were, whose happiness just happened to be contagious.

“Happy Christmas, sweet.” Mumbled Sirius as he sat next to you with his gifts and pecked your cheek softly, making you slightly blush. And soon, they were all around you, ready to destroy all the packages and colourful sprinkled papers to kill the curiosity that was bothering the pit of their stomaches. The freezing snowstorm outside contrasting with the comfortable warmth inside that dorm.

After letters, gifts, laughs, hugs and thank you’s had been shared between you, you left for the great hall, where breakfast was being served. While you ate, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and yourself discussed what you could possibly do during the holidays you were about the spend inside the thick walls of Hogwarts.

“Well, there’s a least what, 50 students who are staying for the holidays. We could throw a Christmas party in the Gryffindor common room.” Said James, while he put an interesting great amount of chips in his mouth.

“What about the room of requirement? I think it’s safer, after all, we don’t want those bloody Slytherins in our dearest common room, now do we?” Suggested Sirius, who was expecting to get completely wasted as an attempt to forget about the fact he was completely in love with his best friend and had no chance with her, and therefore, didn’t want to be bothered with anything or anyone.

Everyone seemed agree and quickly each one was designated with a different part in the set up of Christmas party and you were all parted to make sure it would be somewhat memorable.

After all the set ups and cautious invitations, everything was completely ready and people were already showing up. Satisfied with your work, you plopped down one of the comfy chairs next to the windows, away from the noise that kept getting louder as more people arrived and you sighed.

You pulled your knees to your chest and felt disappointed in yourself for not feeling utterly ecstatic in that moment. You loved Christmas, you were in a party with your friends spending the holidays in one your favourite places. But the emptiness carved in your chest seemed to tell you otherwise, what was possibly missing? Sure, you missed your family but that was not it.

And then you saw him, and it made sense, you understood.

A bottle of some alcoholic cherry beverage loosely hanged by his fingertips, swollen lips and one of his famous tipsy smirks plastered on his face. His hair was not neatly combed and short as it used to when he was little, it was sort of messy and a bit long, almost hitting his shoulders, but he still looked just as ravishing as he did the first time you’d met. Having feelings for your best friend surely did hurt, but not as much as it did when a few seconds after he left the cornered hidden spot, a beautiful Ravenclaw girl suspiciously followed his lead and walked out, rubbing her also swollen red lips and adjusting her skirt. It’s not as if you ever thought you had any chances with him, he would never settle down - especially with you - but it still hurt, you still effortlessly daydreamed of a maybe, even if it didn’t exist.

And surely the sound of shattering was from your own heart and not from the bottle of beer who fell from a Slytherin boy’s shaky hands to the floor, breaking into a thousand billion pieces. And surely, if it wasn’t for Sirius himself coming to sit next to you, drunk out of his mind, you would have gone back to your dorm, devastated.

You tightened your knees to your chest as he sat way too close to you. “Having fun, love?” He giggled, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer to him. You were trying really hard not to spill out all your feelings since you too, had a certain amount of alcohol in your system. However, the feeling of his arms around you and the scent of his cologne were not helping you at all, so you only nodded. Afraid if you opened your mouth, everything would just slip.

“You sure about that, starlight? You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.” He questioned as he played with your fingertips as if they were magic.

“I’m okay, now what about you, are you having fun?” You asked trying to changed the subject, but it didn’t work very well. “Eh-, it’s rubbish. But it’s getting better now that you’re here.” He said, not a hint of joke in his lips.

‘That flustered girl over there disagrees.’ You thought, taking the bottle from his hands and taking a sip yourself as he watched you. But he seemed to have heard your thoughts because he tightened his grip around you. “Could you please stop being all touchy, you’re not making things easier.” You mumbled more to yourself, saying it so quietly you were surprised he actually heard.

“Making what easier, sweetheart?” He questioned genuinely, but you only shook your head and muttered a ‘never mind’ that almost didn’t reach his ears. “C'mon, doll. You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” Insisted Sirius.

But you insisted in shaking you head and trying to distance yourself from his touch, however, you were failing miserably. The closure only got bigger and soon you were so curled up in his chest that you found it hard to breathe. It wasn’t uncomfortable - not at all, that was in fact perhaps one of your favourite places to be in the entire Earth, but your feelings were at the edge of your limits and you were scared if he said anything or even moved you’d spill.

“M'sweet girl.” He praised pecking your cheek with soft lips. “What’s bothering that pretty heart of yours, huh?”

“You.” You mumbled, “You are.” You said, closing your eyes to any reaction that he could possibly get, you were spilling on him like coffee on clean white sheets, spreading and inking the light fabric. You didn’t see Sirius’ eyes sobering up, and you didn’t see him growing in pure contentment as you spoke. “I might have been in love with you since the fourth year and each day, each girl, each pet name, each touch - make it harder for me to just move the fuck on.” You let it out. “I love you but you have no eyes for me.” You mumbled to his chest. The lack of response made the desire to disappear burn like gasoline.

“M'sorry, I should go.” You muttered trying to untangle yourself off his grip, but his arms only tightened around you. When you turned your head to plead for him to just let you go as embarrassed tears sprinkled freely down your cheeks, soft warm lips were soon lightly on the top of yours as if you were made of thin porcelain. Your frame glued to his as Sirius pulled you closely to his body, as if he didn’t held you tight you would just vanish from his arms. The euphoric feeling of his lips on yours intoxicating you, making you think that if he pulled away even for a brief second, you’d melt in agony. But the damned lack of oxygen made it necessary for your lips to part.

“I’ve loved you since third year, my eyes have been on you since I was bloody thirteen, Y/N. You’re not going anywhere away from me, love.” He spilled giggling, pecking the edge of a timid smile that was starting to form in your lips. Wasting no time in pulling you back to his chest and peppering you with more kisses as the boys celebrated what they had just seen from afar, having no doubts that Christmas would be memorable.