that's so aria

3

Honestly, your entire outfit is off-point. How could you show up to a party not wearing stripes on polka dots on skull-print on duct tape on leather? It’s like you don’t even care. And why are your earrings so small?

I’m so done with you Aria. SO DONE.

You’ve hogged screentime for meaningless scenes. You’ve gotten tons of free passes. Your constant love interest has been safe when everyone else’s was subjected to pain and suffering. Sometimes it feels like you don’t even go here.

but now you’ve taken the Paily theme for your flavor of the season. you’ve gone too far Aria. too far.

  • I hate Ezra Fitz

Ezra doesn’t love poetry - he uses it to get into girls pants. He cheated his way through college which may explain why he’s such a bad teacher, I mean he fucks his students and then he writes really awful poetry about them. 

When Ezra was young his parents owned a Pet Shop and his best friend was a parrot that they had. They couldn’t sell the parrot for years, no one wanted to buy it so young!Ezra had way too much time on his hands to bond with this parrot. Anyway, eventually someone came along and bought the parrot. It broke Ezra’s heart into little pieces. He wanted his parrot back. The parrot was his only friend. He had one friend. 

He promised himself that one day, when the time came he would get a new parrot but of course, he had to cheat his way through college and college dorms don’t allow pets and his apartment is too small to keep a bird in and problems kept getting in the way of him getting a parrot that was until he met Aria.

She was what he needed.

He fooled her into thinking that he loved her for her brain 

and she believed him and funnily enough, she never questions him when he asks her if she wants a cracker and she thinks it’s poetic that he calls her “his bird”

That’s So Aria - Season 1 Episode 1 - “Would That I Were A Native American Princess”

Look at those earrings, just… look at them. It wouldn’t be an episode of Pretty Little Liars without Aria wearing something that will completely distract us all from anything resembling the plot of the episode. If I’d known a girl like Aria in high school, I’m certain I would’ve hated her. I’d never talk to her (not much going on upstairs, of course), but I’d hate her.

Actually, I did know a girl like Aria in high school. Only she wasn’t as cute as Lucy Hale. And she didn’t fuck teachers. And she was more an aspiring Aria (as much as you could aspire to be a character that – at the time – did not even exist) than anything else.

You know, at first I loved Pretty Little Liars in a “I’m 27 and this is kind of funny”. But now, I’m totally invested in an “OHMYGOD, don’t talk to me on Tuesday nights” sort of manner.

So, what did y'all think of the summer finale? Because that whole Toby thing was just jaw-dropping, yo.

And you see that pixie lady in the blue? Yeah, that’s Alex Fucking Mack. From the Secret World of Alex Mack.

BOOM.