that's not terrifying at all

(14) Gladio’s pick-up lines

Gladio: EVERYBODY FREEZE.
Noct: WHAT THE-!?
Gladio: SOMEBODY STOLE SOMETHING MINE AND I KNOW IT WAS SOMEONE IN HERE.
Prompto: Wha-!?
Gladio: A-HA, YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN’T NOTICE, RIGHT? IT WAS YOU, IGGY. YOU TOOK IT.
Ignis: I’m sorry!?
Gladio: YOU BASTARD. THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH.
Ignis: What are you talking about!? I haven’t-!
Gladio: YOU TOOK MY HEART. GIVE IT BACK CAUSE I CAN’T SLEEP WITH YOU KEEPING IT.
Ignis: FORTHELOVEOFLEVIATHAN GLADIOLUS, IT’S 3 A.M. CAN YOU PLEASE NOT DO THAT, YOU MADE PROMPTO CRY.

THE POINTLESS LETTERS TOP THIRTY-ONE “TERRIFYING PHRASES TO SEE SOMEONE ACTUALLY USE WHEN WRITING IN TO A NEWSPAPER TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING”

31. “I’d abolish all rights and rename them privileges.”

30. “Human rights law should be suspended when dealing with the nation’s security.”

29. “Those who think their privacy is more important than the safety of all of us worry me and I’m glad the government doesn’t listen to them.”

28. “When does free speech become sedition?”

27. “If you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to hide.”

26. “Unless action is taken to root out these fifth columnists the problem can only get worse.”

25. “I would want the state to employ numerous torture techniques, working shifts around the clock.”

24. “If a few terrorist suspects have to be held without trial, deprived of sleep and yes, even water-boarded, to protect the rest of us then so be it.”

23. “We should put armed soldiers on our streets.”

22. “It’s time we ended all this ‘civil liberties’ nonsense.”

21. “Torture is OK.”

20. “If you aren’t doing wrong then you haven’t got anything to worry about.”

19. “Anyone with nothing to hide should have their DNA taken.”

18. “Everyone who lives in our country should give a DNA sample.”

17. “Forget about civil rights, we are at war.”

16. “This country needs a military presence on its streets.”

15. “Anyone who opposes this has something to hide.”

14. “Perhaps Western Christendom needs to declare its very own holy crusade.”

13. “Why not allow the Government total access to all electronic communications? I have nothing to hide.”

12. “If accessing my phone means stronger and greater security for the country, I’m more than happy.”

11. “If, like me, you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to worry about.”

10. “I would have no objection to carrying proof that I am entitled to live in our country.”

9.“I am happy for MI5 or MI6 to know when I am on the train…if that means they are free to gather information about someone who plans to blow me up.”

8. “We have to be less tolerant.”

7.“Torture these terror nuts until they tell us wot we need 2 know and when they’ve told us torture them more just 4 the hell of it.”

6.“…make sure that everyone in the UK has an identification card…anyone at any time can be requested to show this card to prove that they are in the country legally.”

5. “…the time has come for the normal procedures with regard to evidence to be suspended for the duration of the war on terror for the protection of the public.”

4.“Shouldn’t we be on a war footing with everyone carrying an ID card at all times and state security being empowered to stop and search at will?”

3. “In this day and age, if you don’t do what a policeman tells you to do, then expect a world of hurt.”

2. “…surely it is time to re-introduce internment.”

1. “I don’t understand why people are against internment.”

‘There’s no longer language, only recognition.

There’s no longer country, only corporate colors.

Color makes us hungry. Hunger makes us human.

Everyone can see it.

Everything’s connected.

I don’t think pokemon heights are, like, the size of the sprite, per say. I know the label is “Height:”, but I don’t think it’s really that simple.

Say you have a snake Pokemon, like seviper. Is its height as seen in its sprite pose really 8'10"? No, it’s a snake and if it wasn’t posing it’d probably be pretty “short”, height-wise. So 8'10" is probably how long it is, because that’s how you generally measure snakes in real life.

Even quadrupedal pokemon, their heights probably aren’t the entirety of their sprite. As far as I’m aware, animals like dogs and horses are usually measured to their shoulder height, not head height, since they could droop their head or hold it high, which would change their height drastically. So a rapidash isn’t 5'07" tall as seen in its sprite, it’s 5'07" tall to the shoulder, which means it’s actually taller than you’d expect from the listed height.

Bird and bat Pokemon are probably measured by wingspan. What sounds more likely, a crobat that’s 5'11" tall, or a crobat with a 5'11" wingspan? And fish are usually measured in length, so fish pokemon would also be measured in length, not height.

I would say humanoid and other bipedal pokemon are Actually measured by height, but probably just to the top of the head. The height probably doesn’t count crests, like on gallade and bisharp, or ears, like on lopunny and lucario.

Pokemon that don’t follow the anatomy of Common Animals™ would be measured differently from case to case. Electrode would have a diameter of 3'11", honedge would have a blade length of 2'07", etc

Also, I would say the listed “Height” is probably just an average of the species. Heights between individuals of most species can almost certainly vary from each other by at least several inches.

anonymous asked:

Imagine this Horrorswap, HorrorShift, and HorrorFruit

*Okay, so Storyshift is always so hard for me to keep straight, and I’m familiar with the character designs of Fruittale (Melon!Sans is adorable), but I haven’t figured out their characterizations.  

Soooo, let’s go Horror!Swap~!


Empress Alphys (dubbed alphass or alfuck by Stretch) is crazy as shit and took off a good portion of the left side of Papyrus’s skull with her battle axe during a dispute about Sans.  Of course, Stretch can’t quite remember how he got the injury, and Sans can’t bring himself to admit his former best friend did something like that to his brother, so he keeps his mouth shut.  

Stretch is the tall one.  He’s grown over a foot since they started eating humans–as has Sans.  Papyrus’s orange hoodie is too short now, and ripped at the bottom, exposing part of his spine.  He still wears his usual shorts, which have also become a bit shorter on his frame.  His hoodie is stained red and filthy, but he doesn’t care.  Cigarettes are a rarity now–something he might even likely trade rations for–so his oral fixation has become chewing on sticks or old sucker stems.  This has left some of his teeth looking jagged–not as bad as HT!Paps’s teeth by any means, but just a chipped tooth here or there.  

He doesn’t have a dilated eyelight like HT!Sans, but his head wound is jagged enough to include the top portion of his left eyesocket.  Therefore, he’s now blind in that eye.  The injury has, of course, affected his memory, his magic, and left him a little unhinged.  He still loves puns and wears a lazy grin, but he doesn’t show much mercy unless you’re interesting.  He’s unable to summon Blasters, can only teleport short distances at a time, but can still summon bones at will.  His weapon of choice is an elongated bone with a jagged, sharpened end, much like a spear.   He hunts humans as a sentry, and has convinced Blueberry to start incorporating human meat into his TERRIFIC TACOS.  Stretch grinds the humans they capture up in his shed for his brother. 

Sans, on the other hand, has achieved his dream of becoming Captain of the Royal Guard–and he wants out.  Alphys takes out her anger on him, often beating him in the face with the blunt side of her axe during their ‘training’, which has resulted in him having a mouthful of jagged, oddly-spaced teeth that happen to always be stained crimson.  He’s still a skeleton of integrity, so despite the fact that he now finds humans to be delicious (Sans was vehemently against eating humans at first, but a combination of hunger and head trauma can cause a monster to do desperate things), Sans always puts the humans that fall through a series of puzzles.  

He still wears his usual bandanna, though it’s looking rather tattered now, and his battle body has been revised to fit his larger body.  It’s stained with blood and dirt that just won’t wash out, though the worst of the stains are on his boots and gloves.  He’s retained his good nature, boundless energy, and upbeat attitude, and while Stretch usually can’t muster up the willpower to do most things besides hunt and space out at his sentry station, the lanky skeleton still goes along with whatever Blueberry says (for the most part; it’s not like he’s going to actually calibrate his puzzles) and will do anything to protect his brother and make certain he’s fed.

(*… I should probably queue this up because it’s 2:30AM for me, but screw it.  I’ll post it now anyway.  I’m tired and drawing a blank, but I’d love to do more headcanons or drabbles for Horrorswap, so feel free to send some of those in.  Or any other AU imagines that’re kinda different because this was so much fun to think about. )

Ruby Woo (Part Three)

[part one here] [part two here]

pairing: daveed diggs x reader, ft. rafael casal (you’re welcome)

request: i was asked by many people for a part 3 to ruby woo, and i had a request for daveed x rafa x reader dp smut, so, YIKES there’s this

summary: reader meets daveed’s best friend rafa for the first time, they do some bonding and then they do some…well, bonding.

warnings: (where do i even start) hair pulling, ass grabbing, choking, face fucking, thigh riding, daddy kink, slight praise kink probably, double penetration, anal, just a smidge of unprotected sex, i think that’s it but let me know if there was something i missed yikes

word count: 4,157

a/n: I AM DISGUSTING, I AM A BEACON OF SIN, I BEG YOU TO RECONSIDER READING THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF CONSENT. I AM GROSS. HORRENDOUS. i’m sorry, except that i’m not that sorry. if you don’t like any of the things i listed above, this story is not for you. my next fic is fluff, so there’s something on the way for you who are weak of heart or who are uninterested/repulsed by sex. i love u all okay sorry this took so long have a nice day.


You had no idea what to expect when Daveed told you that his best friend wanted to meet you. You had heard a lot about Rafa, mostly from Daveed, but also because you had googled searched his name (at Daveed’s urging). You realized that you actually did know of Rafael Casal. In college, you had been an avid participant in the poetry club, and as such you had spent a lot of time online searching for spoken word poetry. You had developed quite the crush on him, actually. You spend the flight to New York rewatching the videos you had watched years ago, and you can feel the traces of that innocent celebrity crush bubbling beneath the surface.

Sure, you had crushed on him, but that was years ago, you remind yourself. He isn’t the same person he was back then, and neither are you. Plus, you have a sort-of-relationship with Daveed now, so you figure it’s best if you forget about your old crush.

While that’s a nice sentiment, it’s easier said than done. When Daveed greets you at the door to his apartment, you catch a glimpse of Rafa sitting on the couch and you’re stunned for a moment.

Keep reading

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Thanks ^^ I hope so too haha
Here’s Kaiju, one of many (I think I have a total of like thirty oops)

you could do better // brett talbot

pairings: brett talbot x reader

warnings: Low Self Esteem (?)

a/n: I am suffering from major writers block and being extremely busy with school and dance so sorry for the lack of imagines ;


You and Lydia were sitting on the bleachers watching the guys practice,

It was your free period and Brett loved it when you came to watch him practice.

He would always try to show off in front of you,

Sending winks and smirks your way that cause your cheeks to blush and your heart to race.

You looked at him in adoring eyes,

But for a while now you have been having a thought in the back of your head;

You kept thinking why he was with you,

Why he even likes you,

You didn’t understand.

You knew he could find another girl who was prettier than you and probably smarter and more social.

You were quite shy and if it weren’t for Lydia you would have probably been a total outcast by now.

“Y/N” Lydia snaps her fingers in front of your face to grab your attention.

“Hm?” You ask trying to play it off.

“What’s wrong? I can tell something’s on your mind.”

“N-Nothing, I’m just really tired.”

“Sure” She said sarcastically.

“Really, I am exhausted.” You said with a slight chuckle.

“Okay, I’m sure.”

“Fine, don’t believe me.”

“Y/N I know something is wrong, You can tell me anything you know that right?”

“Yeah, Yeah I know.”

You look back to the field to see the guys packing up and walking towards the locker rooms.

You and Lydia walk back to the school as you feel a pair of strong arms snake around your waist as Brett leans his head on your shoulder giving you a kiss on your cheek.

“Heyyyy” You said in a soft voice as you turned around to face him.

“And hello to you too.” He said before pressing his soft lips against yours in a short but loving kiss.

“I’m glad you came to see me practice.” He smiled down at you.

“And I enjoyed watching you.” You said as he bit his lower lip.

“Wanna come over to study? We do have a big test in two days.”

“I’d love to.”

“I’ll meet you after school, wait next to your locker I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay” You giggled as you leaned in to press yet another kiss on his lips.

A couple seconds later and the bell causes you two to break apart from each other in frustration.

“Meet you later.” He said kissing the top of your head before you two parted ways to your classes.


Three periods later and your day was finally over.

You were at your locker putting back the books from your previous lesson and taking out your books to study with Brett.

As your eyes wandered around the hall your sight landed on Brett,

He was talking to another girl,

Her name was Emily and she was quite a good friend of yours.

You didn’t think to much of it considering you knew they were partnered for a project they had in Biology but another thought came to your mind;

You watched the two talking,

He was the popular jock,

everyone wanted to either be him or with him,

She was blonde and tall,

She looked amazing.

You felt a sadness run through your body,

You knew he could easily find someone better than you,

That he could leave you in a second,

That it would crush your heart.

You went back to putting your books back in your locker as you felt Brett coming your way.

“Hey.” He said kissing the top of your head and then leaning back on the locker next to yours.

“Hey.” You smiled at him trying to conceal the feelings that lingered in your mind from the thoughts of him leaving you.

Brett sensed something was off,

He noticed the scent of sadness washing over you.

“Is everything okay?” He said in a soothing voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said faking a smile as you closed your locker.

Brett held your hand in his as you two walked over to his car before driving over to his place.


You sat on his bed staring at the multiple equations laid before your eyes,

Brett sat next to his desk trying just like you to try to understand what the hell these numbers are saying.

You started writing down an equation but started scribbling over it because of a wrong answer, You laid down your notebook and groaned in frustration,

Your actions caught Bretts attention as his head whipped your way.

He got up and moved your books aside and sat infront of you,

You fumbled with your fingers as your head looked down avoiding eye contact with Brett.

“You okay? You’ve been really quiet ever since we got here.”

“Yeah I told you I was fine” You looked to the side before looking  back down at your hands.

“Talk to me, I know somethings wrong.” He said holding your hand in his as his thumb lightly stroked your hand in a slightly calming way.

“Well-“ You started.

“I saw you with Emily today and it made me think,

I’m scared that one day you won’t love me anymore,

That one day you will see through my flaws,

Actually see through them and decide that you don’t like it after all,

And that me laughing too loudly and sometimes fumbling with words will start to become something you won’t find appealing anymore.

But thats not all, I’m terrified of the day that you’ll leave,

Just like everyone else did when they finally realised what kind of a mess I am.

They say if you love something let it go but please Brett don’t let me go.”

“I just don’t see what you see in me, Why do you even bother to be with me?”

You took a deep breath,

Brett was listening to you intensely,

Hearing every word you had to say and you could tell by the look in his eyes it broke his heart hearing this from you.

His eyes were admiring and loving but you could see a sadness in them.

He held up his hand to your cheek stroking it lightly before moving to your chin to lift your head so you could face him.

“Y/N, it breaks my heart hearing these words, knowing this is how you feel.

To be honest I’ve never seen a girl like you before,

I’ve never laid eyes on anyone as gorgeous as you I mean your body, the way you look makes me weak.

But thats not why I fell for you,

I fell in love with you because of the person that you are,

Your loving and passionate heart,

The way you smile, God Y/N looking at your smile makes my day.

You might be shy and quiet but you’re passionate and funny, You make sure no one ever feels alone or sad,

Y/N, I love you and I will never leave you.

There is no one better than you, You complete me,

You are my both my strength and my weakness.”

You looked into the green eyes you adored and felt a smile creep upon your lips.

You wrapped you hands around his neck as he pulled you closer to I’m by your waist,

Your head resting in the crook of his neck as he held you tight.

“I love you..” You whispered faintly.

“I love you too” He said placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“And I always will.”

To steal the title of a non-Coen brothers movie: There will be blood. Multiple characters won’t survive the action-packed finale, as Nikki Swango’s cat-and-mouse game with V.M. Varga comes to a violent (and unexpected) end. Karma plays a big role in the finale, too, catching up with a few key characters and delivering some very just desserts. And be sure to put your phone down and give your full attention to the final scene: It’s AMAZING.
—  Dave Nemetz, Tvline (x)
  • me: i'm a heterophobe
  • str8 person: but that's a joke haha right?
  • me: no i'm legitimately fucking terrified of all of you it's 2016 and you won't stop killing us on TV and in real life, straight people hate us so much i literally fear for my fucking life when i walk down the street with my short hair and my rainbow necklace, it's not a joke fucking save me from this hell,

My greatest fear: having to sacrifice the chance to live as myself in order to have a career in the only thing that gives my life meaning or vice versa

Anon 1: I’ll totally join your do-s girls club. Show me where I should sign my name LOL 👌😂

Anon 2: Can I participate on the do-S club? HAHAHAHAHAHA (FUTARI NO HIMITSU 1 FOREVER THE BEST) YESSS

Anon 3: hello yes this is a recruit application to join your Do-S Hell club, my qualifications are having a 70% survival rate of sawa manaka CDs and an unnatural attraction to Oresama glasses guys with a mole, thank you and i patiently await your approval lmao

Anon 4: Is it too late to sign up for the do-S club ? I have velvet ribbons we can use for capturing subordina- I mean recruiting members :3 (SAY NO MORE—APPROVED)

@soupae yo what i am TOTALLY in this do-s club (APPROVED)

2

“Things happen, but you can’t keep on waiting. If you want something, go for it.”