that's not even a big deal

So you’re an arsonist now?

It didn’t matter how you built your pyre. It still doesn’t. You weren’t sure how you were going to fracture yourself and fall together in a better way - like gravity, like collapsing into a black hole - but if death is an inevitability, surely the death of an ego is inevitable too?

It wasn’t supposed to matter, but it did. You carried sadness around you - you did, you did, and you still do. So what would come first, the sadness or the memories that caused them? It was a sick juxtaposition - it was the contrast between ‘okay’ and 'not okay’. You think that if you had never learned how to be happy in the first place you wouldn’t be so sad now. You think there’s still plenty of time left to be happy.

What did they - the pictures, the chatlogs, the people - matter to you now anyway? Physicality is easy to burn, physicality can disappear - into carbon under bunsen burners, into smoke. It was what came after you were afraid of - of not having anything to look back at, of not being able to pretend that this past was your future. It was not having these security blankets - not being able to read these conversations  and trace over these memories until they were as smooth as your bathroom tiles from wear.

You think about them a lot. If a relationship has ten effort units total, and you give all ten, then you’re not going to get anything back. If you look up to someone, if you spend hours social media stalking, if you keep up obsessively without getting any acknowledgement of your existence, if you write emails that never get replies, if you spend hours upon hours drafting messages that never get read - then do you not force them to look down on you?

And you wanted to become something greater, to become a phoenix at the threat of rebirth - wanted something of revenge, or regret, or some other unnameable noun that started with r. You didn’t want to become something greater if they weren’t going to look back at you.

But not now. The pyre is built and the funeral is ready. There are no white flowers, no observers, no wills or last rites. Nothing but you and the flame. Nobody will cry for your death - but then again, do you need anyone to?

So you jump in.

Too little, maybe, but not too late.


Coming from the abortion storyline of Season 3, I think it’s extremely important that the writers included so much on Princess Carolyn’s miscarriages. The shame-free portrayal of Diane’s abortion directly contrasts with PC’s experience, especially as she struggles alone. I think it’s significant that everybody has an opinion in the abortion episode, everybody has some anecdote or comfort to give. Whereas PC is offered little to no direct support or acknowledgement. Her doctor treats her as callously and devoid of empathy as Diane’s did to her, except here we had no one speaking up, no one speaking back. She is given blame and no actual advice or help, emphasising the complete lack of support on offer for a lot of women who suffer miscarriages. Even well-meaning Todd is at a loss for words when trying to think what he should say to her at the apartment. Most heartbreaking of all perhaps, is that PC is well aware of the connotations of what has happened to her, she expects to be judged, she expects to be seen as weak and pitiful and incapable. PC’s storyline emphasises how far we still have to come in making a ‘miscarriage’ more than just some dirty word or something that women feel they have to hide.

birthday boys
  • James: doesn't even blow out the candles, is on the verge of crying on each of his birthdays. "What if I don't want to grow up????" Throws the best birthday parties for his mates tho.
  • Sirius: Wants the exact number of candles on his birthday cake. If he's turning 24, Merlin forbid you come with a cake that has 23 candles on it. Once locked himself in a broom cupboard because his cake had 16 candles instead of 15. For someone who didn't get to celebrate his birthday until he was 12, he is way too picky.
  • Remus: Doesn't want any fuss, he didn't tell the Marauders his birthday until like 3rd year. At one point Peter was like "we never celebrated Remus' birthday" and James lost.his.shit. Needless to say his next birthday was a big thing that ended in detention for James and Sirius. Shocker.
  • Peter: Eats the whole cake, that's all he wants. Loves it when Marauders make a big deal out of his birthday. On his birthday Sirius usually wants to punch him because he gets so spoiled but James loves it and spoils him even further. Loves big parties.

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you guys know, i you have Amazon Prime, you should watch the heck out of an animated series called Danger & Eggs. Its so inclusive! There are casual characters of all races, religions, and even genders. Take for example Milo from the episode Finding Cheryl;TheTrio. They didn’t even mention it or make it a big deal, but Milo used they/them pronouns. Thats a huge deal! And even adding on to that, ilo is a non binary person of color! Like??? Thats so big! And guess what else? The Mayor od their town? A strong, smart, black woman. There even a person of color in a hijab in one episode!! Like just take these screen grabs from an episode:

LOOK AT ALL THE QUEER CHARACTERS. And no, this isn’t even at a pride parade. Look, there’s a trans person, a pan person, someone in a hijab, someone in a rainbow shirt?? THIS SHOW IS AMAZING. Another example is in the episode Morning Routine;The Lost & Found. Phillip is reading off what the rule is when someone doesn’t claim their item from the lost and found. He basically says, if someone doesn’t claim their item, the person in charge of the lost and found could Dispose of it however “he/she/they” deem fit. He used THEY. Guys you need to get people to watch this show, its inclusive, and it doesn’t make all of the queer characters like a plot point?? They’re just there! You have to spread this around, this show hasn’t been renewed for a second season!! We need representation like this in the media! Its and amazon prime original show and its amazing! And on top of all that, it teaches super important lessons to people!! But it needs more people to watch it. It starts Aidy Bryant (from snl) and Eric Knobel. Please please please spread this around! Everyone needs to watch it!! Its free if you just sign up for amazon prime and go watch it!! 

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.

IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

Got7 giving gifts
  • Mark: Buys something ridiculously expensive, acts like it's no big deal even though it's clearly very expensive, shrugs when interrogated about the cost
  • Jaebum: Two words: gift card
  • Jackson: Buys something ridiculously expensive, tells the recipient how much it cost, and brings it up in conversation for years to come
  • Jinyoung: Gives a moderately priced gift that the recipient didn't even know they wanted until it's in front of them but suddenly they can't live without
  • Youngjae: Gives something homemade that's cute but that no one will ever actually use (it's the thought that counts?)
  • Bambam: Buys an expensive but generic gift, like unisex cologne or scented candles, and claims he bought it with the recipient in mind (he didn't, he has a stash of presents for gift-giving occasions, but they'll love it anyway because he has impeccable taste)
  • Yugyeom: Asks the recipient what they want, buys it for them, and wraps it in newspaper comics because he forgot to get wrapping paper

anonymous asked:

Bakusquad headcanons??

bakusquad is so good for my heart……yes…. good friends……

  • one day when bakugou is fast asleep, they write “BLASTY MCSPLODE” on his forehead in permanent marker. 
    • no, none of them have a death wish, why do you ask?
      • bakugou wakes up and screams bloody murder but they aren’t even scared they’re too busy laughing really hard
  • the boys all share this unspoken, unwritten mutual promise to make sure that nobody (read: mineta) fucks around with ashido
    • she can handle herself, obviously. but they do worry from time to time
    • she’s actually fully aware of their whole deal and finds it endearing that they care lol
  • when bakugou admits to them out loud that this is the first time he’s ever had real friends, they all somehow instinctively know to tackle him. Big Friendship Group Hug
    • kirishima is actually crying. “BAKUGOUUUU THATS SO SAD”
    • kaminari and sero are mostly in disbelief that bakugou verbally acknowledged that they were friends
    • ashido just really likes hugs
  • kaminari questions why they’re called bakusquad one day. sero tells him it’s because “kamisquad” sounds like “kumquat” and would be “an ugly-ass name”
    • ashido takes to calling kaminari “kumquat” for a whole week after that conversation dfjdslakfjkdlasfj;
    • kirishima isn’t as mean about it. he outright says that it’s bc bakugou is “cool” and “leader-like” and “deserves to have it named after himself”
  • when they manage to make bakugou genuinely laugh out loud for the first time,,,,
    • it’s not evil-sounding?? it’s pure. beautiful. they’re all blessed 10/10
      • they staring at him in awe at first bc they weren’t aware that bkgo even knew how to laugh
    • it happened bc kaminari electrocuted himself. kirishima slipped on ashido’s acid and couldn’t harden fast enough so he bumped into kaminari and got electrocuted
    • then sero tried to help but his tape went out of control and all four of them ended up dangling from the ceiling caught up in knots of tape and affected by electricity
      • bakugou walks in and sees this. he couldn’t contain it. why are his friends such dumbasses. he loves them
      • when he’s done laughing at them he helps them get out

Jonas: is tonight still on?

you guys can come around any time 

are we still making enchiladas and am i still supposed to get the stuff we talked about? 
im at the store

you guys bring the stuff, we make it

oooohhhhh we’re making enchiladas?? 


Originally posted by aurhireactions

i didnt hear about this
im supposed to bring stuff?

we talked about it in the group chat?

i think it was in the other gc
ill just get all the stuff im here now anyway
but you guys will pay me back


we have one with the three of us 


-_- dont be so dramatic 
no big deal 


but we have a gc of isak you and me too!

am i the only one not in a three-people gc?
thats cold

we do have the one with you mags and me

oh true 
thats chill 


 “dont be so dramatic” 
“no big deal” 


and we got the one with the four of us without isak 

what the fuck

only to plan for your birthday bby 


 oh he does 

Originally posted by uscdornsifeadmission


he made it a whole 22h without making a sex joke


Can I just remind people that many bisexual and pansexual people, myself included, use gay as an umbrella term for all people attracted to the same sex and we use it as a descriptor for our and everyone’s same sex attraction because it’s specific to that part of our identity. So please stop policing me for using gay to describe my and characters’ same sex attraction. Using gay as an umbrella term is not the same as invalidating and erasing a bi/pansexual person’s identity.

anonymous asked:

I kinda wanna ask for reddie's first time headcanons but I feel like that's too much lmao. I'm sorry

Nah I don’t think so, obvs they’re getting aged up to the legal age of 18 even though for some reason its 16 where I’m from??? disgusting

- eddie would be the one to randomly say he wants to have sex in the middle of a conversation or the two of them just chilling in richie’s room

- richie would nearly choke on air

- he’d be constantly asking eddie if he was sure, like this was a big deal for both of them, but especially eddie since he has such bad experiences with dealing with his sexuality and emotions due to his mother’s upbringing

- richie gets super nervous on the day eddie comes over, like he’s shaking like a leaf

- eddie is too, but he tells richie that this is what he wants and that he trusts him and that calms him down

- eddie assumes richie has already had sex and is actually surprised to hear he hasn’t before

- “you know i talk complete shit 24/7, right? especially about sex”

- there would be so many awkward, nervous kisses at the start because they have never intended on going further than making out

- eddie nearly has an asthma attack when richie goes down on him for the first time, so that stops pretty early on

- eddie is very scared about doing anything to richie because he’s never done it and he’s shaking and trying to impress richie 

- “literally anything you do is gonna work for me, just be yourself”

- it works

- richie tops, and is so slow and gentle and keeps asking eddie if he’s okay because he’s scared he’s going to hurt him or he’s going to back out

- “oh my god, richie shut up, we’re trying to have sex right now”

- richie ends up keeping his head in eddie’s neck a lot and trying to keep quiet

- doesn’t work very well

- eddie is surprisingly loud?? which took richie off guard when he’d move his hips in a different way and eddie would just go nuts

- it’s obviously awkward and short because it’s their first time, but it’s such a special sweet moment between the two of them

- they cuddle afterwards and eddie is lying on richie’s chest

- “I was so bad, i’m sorry”

- “richie, we just need practise, and you weren’t bad”

- “true, you were louder than your mom was”

anonymous asked:

Am I the only one that finds it weird that they're adding a brown stripe to the pride rainbow? Because it's supposed to be a symbol of ALL gays. And adding the stripe is kinda secluding anyone that isn't of color from that. It's supposed to be Equality for us all. Not just a certain group. Don't think there should be a white stripe and don't think there should be a brown stripe. Just rainbow

it acknowledges the intersectionality, ie, that some lgbt people who also experience racism are therefore prone to an even harsher experience of homophobia/transphobia.

the best way i can explain it simply is that, in the entire LGBT community, even without directly addressing race in the community, POC will naturally congregate and relate on the topic of intersectionality within the LGBT community because its something they face a lot and something white people don’t. like, the inter-community groups of POC LGBT people already form & exist & stick together. right? so, the point of acknowledging it and making it a part of the flag, is that it shouldnt JUST have to be those living with the intersecting racism who have to acknowledge it. like, non-poc lgbt people should acknowledge and fight for the equality of those in the community who have it even harder, right? we shouldnt just not have to think about it bc we dont deal with it personally.

so it’s not a matter of like “the gay community AND ALSO BLACK PPL!” its more like “everyone who is lgbt, while acknowledging the real fuckin super tough struggle of those who get even worse treatment bc of their sexuality due to their skin color.” its still a lgbt struggles thing. thats still the root. u feel me?

the problem of intersecting racism & homophobia being as big as it is, i think addin the brown/black stripes matches the urgency of attention that the topic needed, ykno? like, it’s not an overstatement. it’s a very huge disparity.

arya’s feelings towards weasel are important to me. because at first she’s bothered by this girl who won’t stop crying. arya herself is terrified and stressed because she’s already had numerous traumas at this point and her story is just getting started. shes only a child too. and she’s stuck in the middle of a war. 

but then the battle happens. this baby is in the middle of all that carnage screaming and crying. and arya saves her. arya risks her own life pulling weasel to safety when every man and boy (save one) wouldve left them behind. 

and that changes arya. after this point she becomes much warmer with weasel. she looks after her like a mother would. she worries about her and messes with her hair and wraps her arms around the toddler. she defends the little girl from the boys too. arya learns to recognize why weasel is so frightened. “she’s just scared and hungry” and i think thats a big deal. one it shows growth. and it shows arya empathizing with this girl by seeing what they have in common: hunger and fear. 

alchemylab  asked:

A lot of Mass Effect Andromeda's problems arose from issues with Frostbite (inexperience, inflexible engine), and I don't understand why EA didn't see this as a problem and just let them use something the team was already comfortable with. The original Mass Effect trilogy used Unreal, why would EA force their team to use an engine that's really only good for crafting FPS games and not big open world RPGs? The only reason I can see is licensing, but that didn't stop EA before.

It wasn’t just a problem with Frostbite. Bioware had already gone through most of the Frostbite growing pains with Dragon Age Inquisition and still managed to get a great critical reception and sales that exceeded expectations. Sure, there were going to be engine limitations in place. There always are - even with Unreal (or any other out-of-the-box engine), there were engine issues that they had to deal with - it’s one of the reasons the leadership decided to switch engines in the first place. The biggest reason that sunk Mass Effect Andromeda was that they poured a huge amount of development resources and time into building an extremely expensive procedural planet generation system that wasn’t fun enough and was eventually cut. 

Procedural environment generation is an enormous feature that is extremely engineering-heavy. Environments are already one of the most expensive kinds of content to build. Normally you need designers to handle layout, environment artists to make the world look believable, prop artists to create objects to populate the world, lighting artists to make sure it looks right. It can take months to build out a single environment. When you make environments procedural, you also need all sorts of engineering to make it work as well - engine programmers, tools programmers, gameplay programmers, graphics programmers, and so on. Because it requires such a heavy engineering workload in addition to the usual environment art requirements, it means that such a feature would naturally siphon resources away from other features.

The original plan was to have a bunch of hand-crafted critical path worlds (the ones that made it into the final game), but also a near-infinite number of non-critical procedurally generated planets where players could fight bad guys, hunt for resources, find items, and so on. One of the technical goals was even to have a seamless transition from planet to spaceship (and vice versa) without needing a loading screen. Frostbite deals with large open world maps pretty well (as shown in Inquisition), but procedurally generated environments are a different beast altogether. The procedural content generation turned out to be an iceberg feature and just kept growing in size until it had consumed far more resources than it should have. 

The team leads eventually made the tough decision to cut it because the writing was on the wall - even after months of crunch to make it work, they could see that the feature still needed far more resources to get it into a shippable state than they could feasibly fit in the schedule. There was just no way for them to build both it and the rest of the game with the available resources in the time remaining. So… they salvaged what they could from it, but much of it (especially engineering time) was a lost cause. That’s one major reason why ME Andromeda felt incomplete at launch… because it had a huge chunk carved out of it in the last year or so of development. 

As an engine, Frostbite can do a lot of things. It worked for Battlefront, it worked for Madden and FIFA, it worked for Need for Speed, and it worked for Dragon Age Inquisition. There are always growing pains when making an out-of-the-box engine work for a game’s development, but the real issues with Andromeda were primarily scope-related. They misjudged the resource cost of the features they wanted to build within the engine and it bit them hard.

Got a burning question you want answered?

anonymous asked:

Rebecca probably is going to dump another Pearl arc on us to cover pearls backstory. That's the only way "we know the least about her makes any sense"

godddd that’s so unnecessary though why

if you reallyyyy wanna do backstories, then consider:

-how the crystal gems found amethyst (how has it been 4 entire seasons and we still haven’t seen how she joined……)

-actual info about the gem war?? yknow for making such a big deal out of the war they never actually impart any info on it to us other than a lapis backstory that was too vague for my liking (and wasnt really about the war anyways) and centipeedle, but even then there was a language barrier in the way when she was telling her story why do the gems have a gem language and never reference it or try to teach steven or translate it or anything

-fusion backstories!! the first time sugilite was formed, opal was formed, sardonyx, alexandrite, etc., maybe a pre-steven smokey quartz and a rose/garnet fusion? the temple fusion? jfc

the sad part is though, i feel like they are going to scrap that all in favor of “pearl cries for eleven whole minutes for the umpteenth time” at 7:30 est only on cartoon network ™

  • Naruto: Sasuke
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Naruto: You've got issues
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Naruto: Like enough to fill an entire ocean or a mountain or no, a GIANT butt-load
  • Sasuke: How big is this hypothetical butt, usuratonkachi?
  • Naruto: I thought you were asleep.
  • Sasuke: As if anyone can sleep with you yelling insults in their ear.
  • Naruto: I was whispering well-known facts, bastard
  • Sasuke: It's three in the morning. Go back to sleep. We can argue tomorrow
  • Naruto: Or, uh, since you're up, we could argue right now
  • Naruto: Come on Sasuke, just this one thing, just one time. We don't even have to invite anyone.
  • Sasuke: Then what's the point?
  • Naruto: Do it for me
  • Sasuke: No.
  • Naruto: But we're already basically, uh, com-committed to being together, so why is this such a big deal?
  • Sasuke: I could ask you the same thing.
  • Naruto: Seriously bastard, you can just give in and do it, or have me harass you until you give in and do it.
  • Sasuke: Or?
  • Naruto: Or, you can tell me the real reason you're against it, and I might... Give you a break. For a while.
  • Sasuke: That's it?
  • Naruto: I could do this all night, teme.
  • Sasuke: *raises eyebrow*
  • Naruto: *blushes* You know what I mean
  • Sasuke: Fine. You want us to have a wedding. A traditional marriage ceremony.
  • Naruto: Duh.
  • Sasuke: So, which one of us is the bride?
  • Sasuke: These rituals follow a specific set of guidelines and require each party to take on a certain role. If this is really what you want, one of us has to be the bride.
  • Naruto: Seriously?
  • Sasuke: I thought you knew that.
  • Naruto: Yeah I did, and the answer is pretty obvious, but I didn't know that's the reason you-
  • Sasuke: What do you mean, 'the answer is obvious'
  • Naruto: Well, you're the one who always, er, is the one who takes *vague hand gestures* when we do the, uh, ya know, the thing that we *cough* do.
  • Naruto: So you'll be the bride. Problem solved.
  • Sasuke: Naruto, you...
  • Naruto: Yeah, what is it?
  • Sasuke: Should sleep on the couch.
  • Naruto: Aw, c'mon. If you really don't want to I guess I could... But Sasuke, you'd totally be the perfect bride.
  • Sasuke: *activates sharingan*
  • Naruto: Gah! It was a compliment, you asshole! Okay, okay, I'm going. Geez.

‪I feel like b99 just acknowledging the fact that rosa and jake are bisexual could make such a huge impact on people. Like I know it would definitely help me so much because n o o n e wants to say the word ‘bisexual’ on tv and it makes me feel so invisible almost like we barely exist??? But thats not the case?? I don’t know why tv show makes it into such a big deal and I feel like b99 could really change that. I’m not even looking for a coming out scene just let rosa talk about how hot she thinks this girl is or talk about jake’s exes and one of them happens to be a boy like?? It’s not a big deal??? Please just say the word bisexual on tv

Clay Jensen rant

Did ??? People even read the book??? Listen I hate being one of those “if u dont read the book u cant even comment” bc thats bs but series Clay isnt much different anyways. If anything more attached to Hannah but…. he didnt do anything wrong??? Like he did (the picture he leaked of the stalker and all bc of his anger) but not to Hannah. This is a guy who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and whose best friend just fucking died and to some extent I bet he blamed himself when he thought he allowed his friend to drive drunk. Obviously when Hannah said leave he would leave bc SURPRISE people with anxiety fucking hate confrontation and if someone u really care about screams to you “GT THE FUCK OUT” his reaction was obviously gonna be to leave, let her cool, and try to talk later. Bonus points for him if he tried to avoid the screaming afterwards and at least try to pretend things were better with her because thats REALISTIC FOR PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM REALLY BAD ANXIETY. All he did was never truly confess his feelings because damn she was never just a friend. He always liked her. And confessing feelings is never easy especially for people who suffer from anxiety. Hence why he would push her away from time to time and doubt whether she wanted her to be with him. Not because “Hannah’s fault” or anything but because people with anxiety are constantly doubting people’s love and intentions for them. Always doubting whether others actually care or if they got bored with them. So yeah. Maybe Clay could have stand up for her and take more action. But from his PoV things werent that bad for her atm and he couldnt mentally do it. So many of you say “he redeemed himself” no he didnt. Theres nothing to redeem for tf?? Him feeling guilty is the fucking worst bc he truly does not deserve to feel guilty when hes mot guilty of shit. Yes the sings are clear but that doesnt mean people are always able to do. From someone who has been depressed and has dealt with depressed people around her, sometimes we just dont know what to do and the only person able to save themselves once depression hits you is the person itself. Once Hannah was bad because of all the things that happened to her, Clay or anyone noticing might have call a professional but the only person who would truly convince her to live would be herself. Stop. Blaming. Clay. Depression and suicide isnt black and white and isnt always someone’s fault. The whole point of this show and book is to show that is a bunch of stuff accumulated and how we deal with them.

Clay not noticing she was depressed doesnt mean he killed her. Clay not going against her wishes of being alone doesnt mean he killed her. Clay not wanting to talk about his best friend’s death (something he prob feels partially guilty for until he found out the truth) (plus also lad at the memory of him) and lashing out on her doesnt mean he killed her. Him not noticing doesnt mean he killed her. It means he liked her so much, even loved her. But he was also going through his own shit. And if hannah never talked directly to him how was he supposed to know?? A best friend’s death isnt a little deal. Is a big fucking deal. He suffers from anxiety and panic attacks (mental disorders my people) and his best friend fucking died. Thats traumatic af he saw his body there. And even before that, he was getting to know Hannah so is not like he would not whats her usual behavior and whats not. Yes he could have done something if he had realized. But him not realizing didnt kill her. Hannah even said so herself.

So stop saying he redeemed himself or that he did take part into her decision of killing herself or he was also at fault. He wasnt. Even Hannah knew that. Stop romanticizing his anxiety and self-blamed behavior bc if anything all this unjustified guilt was driving to the place Hannah was. So liking or thinking he deserved all that guilt is literally 1) not getting the show/book and 2) romanticizing his bad mental health and paranoia

anonymous asked:

I have one thing I have been waiting for since s11 failed to deliver and I personally feel is important for Dean's and Cas' relationship; for Dean to save Cas. The big save, the gripped tight and raised you from perdition kind of save, the break a blood pact with a reaper kind of save. And I think it's important because the whole Cas= The Protector and Dean= The Protected narrative needs to break for them to be equals. It's time for Dean to be the saviour and for Cas to be saved.

I can’t argue with this at all. I mean, when Cas was possessed by Lucifer, this was a BIG disappointment, that Dean wasn’t directly involved in freeing Cas. He gave it a desperate try in 11.18, but there were the extenuating circumstances of Cas’s depression that seemed to only get worse while he was hosting Lucifer.

I’d be depressed if I had to host Lucifer too, and I’m just thinking of the “stuck him in the spare room” sort of hosting here…

Dean did break Naomi’s hold over him in 8.17, but then Cas had to go and pick up the angel tablet and suddenly all he knew was that he had to protect that tablet with his life from everyone, including Dean.

(which sounds VERY MUCH like how he currently feels/is behaving toward Jack and Kelly after 12.19 and all the way through 12.23).

They nudged up to that line in 12.12, but there wasn’t anything Dean could’ve done to save Cas once he’d already been injured by the Lance, since he didn’t know that snapping the lance in half would work as a cure. But at least Cas got a shining example of how Dean was unwilling to leave him to save their own lives. They stood and faced Ramiel.

(granted at that point I think Mary may have been more motivated by guilt for having brought them all into that fight, but by the end of the episode she had admitted that Cas was one of her boys… so it was obvious enough to HER that this was Cas’s place in the Winchester family, where his life was to be equally defended by all of them).

But yeah, whatever becomes of Cas in 13.01 might be setting up just this kind of potential situation. We shall see.

We know he’s willing to lay his life down for the Winchesters (he said it again in 12.19:

Castiel: This has nothing to do with my reputation. I am doing this for the Winchesters. I-I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission and to keep them safe from Dagon, and I… I will kill this girl so that Sam and Dean don’t have to.)

Problem is, they’d rather have him, and fight with him at their side, than have him act as their protector.

Dean pulling a big save might help him finally see that.

I only hope it doesn’t involve any sort of deal. Deals ALWAYS go bad on Supernatural.