that's it. that's my car. (i wish)

Next Time say No..
  • Boss lady: Hey, would you like some bananas pudding?
  • Me: Who made it?
  • Boss lady: Me.
  • (Inner Monologue) Ahh Damn now I gotta take it, and pretend even if its nasty that it tastes good ... FUCKKKKKK
  • Me: Sure. ( Grabs plate ) Just a little though I just ate.
  • Boss lady: Grabs ladle, (scoops a giant ladle full onto my plate)
  • Me: ( FUCKKKKK ) looks at light colored mound of whiteness
  • Boss lady: ( stands there with eyes full of joy and hope)
  • Me: ( damn she must want me to taste it now FUCKKK)
  • Me: ( sticks spoon into uncertainty ) ( wait a min ) ( bitch there is no bananas in this bullshit) ( how the fuck is this bananas pudding without bananas ) ( this shit bout to be nasty as fuck ahhh hell ) (places spoon in mouth ) ( hears screams from ancestors ) ( sees flashes of great grandmother shaking her head ) oh ok I see what you did there what did you change?
  • Boss Lady: well there's no sugar I made the pudding from scratch I used goat milk and honey I used avocado for the texture instead of bananas ...
  • Me: ( as she is describing what she used I feel my stomach trying to push that shit back up out my stomach through my mouth )
  • Boss Lady: I also used my homemade sugar no sugar cookies recipe instead of vanilla wafers, I really just let my inspiration take over...
  • Me: ( BITCH my stomach wtf was in this shit got my stomach acting up like this ) Oh ok.
  • Boss Lady: Do you like it?
  • Me: Mannnnn..... I wish my mother was here to taste this Im sure she would ask what is in this.... I will be talking about your bananas pudding for years ma'am this is ...something else.
  • Boss Lady: Really... that's nice of you to say!
  • Me: ( you don't know my mother ) no problem, well let me get back to work...
  • 5 mins later.....
  • Me: Hey, Ive got a little family emergency I need to deal with Ill be right back if that's ok?
  • Boss Lady: Sure, take your time.
  • Me: ( Fast walks to car ) drives to Bojangles, ( walks inside heads straight for bathroom ) ( Blows it up )
  • MORALE OF THIS STORY STOP EATING SHIT YOU AINT COOK YOURSELF AND NEXT TIME SAY NO THANK YOU.....
Grease inspired sentence meme. ( Part two. )
  • "True love and he didn't lay a hand on you? Sounds like a creep to me."
  • "You're cruising for a bruising."
  • "Just let me comb your hair down a little bit here."
  • "Want a little lipstick?"
  • "You know, if we fix up this car, it could be make-out city."
  • "That's cool baby. I mean, you know how it is."
  • "Rocking and rolling and whatnot."
  • "That's my name, don't wear it out."
  • "What's the mater with you?"
  • "What's the matter with me, baby? What's the matter with you?"
  • "I mean, maybe there's two of us, right?"
  • "Why don't you take out a missing persons ad, or try the Yellow Pages?"
  • "You're a fake and a phony and I wish I'd never laid eyes on you."
  • "Men are rats. They're fleas on rats."
  • "The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."
  • "You know what you need? A night out with the girls."
  • "We're having a sleepover at my house tonight, Wanna come?"
  • "No thanks, I don't smoke."
  • "Go ahead, try it. It won't kill you."
  • "Let me teach you how to french inhale."
  • "I brought some twinkles, anybody want one?"
  • "Twinkles and wine? That's real class."
  • "I bet you never had a drink before either."
  • "I had some champagne at my cousins wedding once."
  • "Ring-a-ding-ding."
  • "We don't got cooties."
  • "Would you like me to pierce your ears for you?"
  • "Isn't that awfully dangerous?"
  • "What's the matter? You afraid?"
  • "It only bleeds for a second."
  • "God, you're turning into a one-woman USO."