that's it though. that's the beginning of the end. and it breaks my heart :'(

Consumed by Darkness (Pt1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (feat. Avengers)

Summary: King T’challa found you three months before Team Cap seeked refuge in Wakanda. You were raised in the Red Room when left orphaned from birth. However you have more then just the connection of knowing Natasha Romanoff. Your the daughter of someone very prominent in their lives.

Taglist: OPEN 

Masterlist


Originally posted by fitzi-the-nerdy-girl

Keep reading

Confession...

Hate me if you want but I wanna talk about it. Or at least get this out.


From 2014 to 2016, I was emotionally and sexually involved with a man who is in a relationship. For the first 6 months, I was completely unaware of it. But after I found out, I didn’t end it. It fucked with me emotionally of course but nevertheless, I stayed. He was everything I wanted…. Correction, he is everything I want. He challenges me mentally. He teaches me. He tells me when I’m wrong. He lifts me when I’m down. He knows about my depression and does not treat me differently. We have intellectual conversations​ on a level that I’ve never had with someone I’ve been connected to. He reminds me of my dad. I see myself in him. I see myself with him. I love his ambition. I love his drive. I love being in his presence. Simply sitting near him gives me the greatest calm I’ve ever experienced. I’ve opened up to him emotionally more than any other person I’ve been involved with. He’s sweet. He’s beautiful. He’s everything.

And he’s engaged to be married…. I didn’t find out until nearly 6 months after…. (This doesn’t excuse what I did at all. I’m just saying it because it breaks my heart.)

Wtf have I done to myself?

I ended things at the beginning of the year because his fiance gave birth to his child. I was not about to be the person who could potentially tear a father away from his son. We have enough of that in our community. I could no longer contribute to the heartbreak and unhappiness of another black woman… I also did it for me. There’s no future in this. If I'ma be in pain emotionally, I’d rather be in pain on my own. I still feel guilty though. I made a decision to stay with a man that was not mine. I made the decision to reduce myself to something that I am not. I made the decision to hurt another black woman. I’ve been hurt that way before… Why tf would I want that to happen to someone else…..

Now I’m doing a LOT of self evaluation. Clearly something has gone awry in me that allowed me to participate in such a situation and I HAVE to correct it. I have to heal myself so that I don’t allow myself to be taken advantage of. So that I don’t give myself lower than what I deserve. So that I don’t treat myself lower than what I am worth. This was all me. And I’m learning that it’s not him I have to forgive. I have to forgive me. I have to stand up and decide not to walk in the footsteps my mother left before me. I’m going to create a new path. I’m going to walk in a direction no woman in my family has ever walked. I will no longer operate beneath who I am….

anonymous asked:

may i request both of your crush headcanons (ex: how they act/treat their crush, would they pass notes, any specific things they do JUST for their crush, etc etc) for the hosts + haruhi? :oo i'm curious to see what you two think!

 awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah (GOMEN IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE POSTED ANYTHING SO HAVE THIS RLY LONG HEADCANON POST)


Tamaki:

  • Tamaki is dense as hell about his crush but you guys already knew that so at first he’s just putting the charms on you because he sees beauty in you just like he does with his clients
  • and he’ll just attempt to spend as much time with you as possible and call you sweet nicknames and his usual princely shit but then he suddenly starts to realise w h o a h i really like doing this kind of stuff around you
  • he ends up trying to rope you into the host cub family and gets you involved with all their shenanigans and you just end up being swept along with the tide like gdi tamaki
  • and then he starts getting JEALOUS whenever anyone else especially tHOSE SHADY TWINS gets a bit too close to be considered friendly and at first he just thinks ‘well they’re a part of our family, im just being protective’ but then Kyoya’s just like ‘nope. not doing this shit again. you like them. in a romantic sense not a family one gdi tamaki you want to be their boyfriend now stfu.
  • que sudden realisation on tamaki’s part
  • and he doesn’t really know how to act around you now so he just decides to up the charm (and gets really flustered at the same time and usually ends up embarrassing himself horribly by staring at you for too long when you’re walking together and careening into a pole or something).
  • *PRINCELYNESS INTENSIFIES*
  • put it this way; to him a moment when he doesn’t have your attention is a moment wasted
  • senpai wants to be noticed so badly
  • plz notice him and put him out of his misery

Haruhi:

  • dude. its Haruhi. she has no clue that she even likes you.
  • but its pretty clear to everyone else so there’s that
  • she just makes an effort to spend time with you and hang out and she’s just always there being nice and helpful and friendly and w o w be still my beating heart just look at that smile
  • she’s so unbelievably good to you like ‘you’re worried about an upcoming test??? we can study together at my house. i’ll cook dinner!’ 
  • ‘you need notes from that class you missed?? i’ll copy out mine for you.’ 
  • ‘you lost your phone?? i’ve got time lets spend the next three hours traipsing around the building calling it until we hear it.’
  • she pretty much sees you as one of her closest friends who she admires very much because you’re really great and talented and attractive in her eyes and she - wait what attractive??
  • ‘oh.’
  • ding dong you got it Haruhi.
  • and now she’s just a big flustered MESS around you at all possible times and trying her best not to show it because is this okay am i too close or not close enough do oh no have they twigged because im acting weird they can probably tell what if they dont feel the same way somebody please kill me god damn
  • eventually Kyoya figures it out of course and sometimes he makes very sly comments when you’re around, hinting that she likes you and Haruhi just has to kind of discreetly kick him like stfu kyoya u heinous space herpe
  • not to mention the way her head just SNAPS to a conversation whenever you’re mentioned and yeah we all knew it Haruhi you are just too cute for words.

Hikaru:

  • YOU MEAN AFTER HE GETS OVER HIS GIANT DENIAL BECAUSE SWEET MAMA THAT BOY IS DENSE WHEN IT COMES TO HIS OWN FEELINGS
  • yeah at first he’s gonna avoid you like the plague because what is happening to him why the hell is he reacting so strongly wtf all u did was pIC K UP A PenC IL G oD
  • okay so AFTER Haruhi, Kaoru and Honey smack sense into him and he comes to terms with it its great because he’s not competing against his brother or anyone else this time so yeah he just gOES FOR IT
  • Hikaru will legit resort to any means to get your attention/an excuse to hang out
  • any means
  • srsly he’s the kind of guy who’ll throw notes at your head in class just so that you both get detention or nick your wallet or something when youre not looking just so he can ‘find’ it for you later
  • ‘you’re failing that class?? WHAT A COINQUIDINK im failing too we should totes have a study date or something’
  • ‘oh dear i seem to have spilled my coffee all over you whoops SO sorry here take my shirt and lemme walk you to class’
  • he really does take off his shirt. this boy has no shame.
  • and whaaaaaaat??? rumours that you two are dating??? he totally didnt see this coming or hope those would spring up but hey you know thats not such a bad idea >;D
  • prepare for him to be super jealous all the time whenever you talk to other people like ‘whoah hey wtf hikaru i was in the middle of a conversation’ ‘no dont talk to them i swear on my life they were leering at your ass. im just looking out for you here, they’re probably a sexual deviant. bad news stay away.’
  • whatta dweeb

Kaoru:

  • he’s so nice what the hell Kaoru this level of selflessness is inhuman i stg
  • he just loves spending time with you and hanging out and doing things together this puppy is pretty much at your beck and call what a sweetie
  • of course that doesn’t mean you’re exempt from the light jokes and teasing that accompanies it
  • he’s basically at your side as much as he’s at his brothers (which means that you now have both of the twin’s attention well done prepare for hell and mischief)
  • but he pretty much makes himself your own personal superman like ‘wHOOPS you nearly tripped lucky i was there to catch you’ and ‘you’re off sick?? ill copy my notes for you. also what kind of soup do you like cause im coming over’
  • Kaoru is fun! He’s the kind of guy who’ll just text you like ‘are you busy?? not anymore there’s a carnival in town so get dressed, im waiting outside!’ and then he just drags you off and its loads of fun and youre just like ????? are u just being a fun friend or do u like me????
  • yeah thats another thing he’s so good of a friend that it becomes really hard for you to tell that if he actually has the dokis for you or if he’s just really friendly because he’s not FLIRTING with you like he does when he’s hosting and its confusing, but really he’s treating you differently and genuinely because he does actually like you and he wants you to stop treating him like just a friend AND ITS ALL VERY CONFUSING and absolutely perfect for a tense confession scene aww yeah aHEM we’ll totally write that if u guys request it
  • also prepare for Hikaru to get tired of waiting for his bro to make a move and attempt to be his wingman and he’s just dropping hints everywhere BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO BE CATCHING ON
  • Hikaru is 4378436% done with both of you. ‘omfg just kiss already you’ll make a lot of people happy’
  • the host club has started a betting pool on which one of you is gonna break and confess first lets just say Haruhi ends up with a LOT of moolah by the end of this charade

Kyoya:

  • the denial is strong in Kyoya ohhh boy
  • YOU THINK HIKARU’S BAD YOU CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO FATHOM THE SHEER AMOUNT OF DENIAL THAT IS HAPPENING HERE like he’s used to being charming and suave with his clients but this is different he actually has feelings for you???? huh??????? what is he supposed to do with those????
  • feelings are too much hassle goodbye
  • its likely that Kyoya would try to shove these feelings into a box in the corner of his mind and never ever ever think about you or how you make his heart do weird things or how nice you look when you laugh or how attractive your smile is and god fucking dammit
  • and even though he’s trying to suppress what he deems to just be a ‘distraction’ his soft spot for you still shows in ways he doesn’t realise until after he’s done it
  • ‘oh my god did i just offer them a discount what the hell is WRONG with me’
  • /i wont say im in love plays softly in the distance/
  • once he actually comes to terms with his feelings tho he starts PLANNING
  • if he’s going to do this whole ‘crush’ thing he’s gonna do it RIGHT gosh darn it.
  • he ends up using the host club to his advantage by making sure that they’re always serving your favourite food or doing a theme you like cause hey if it gets you there, he’s happy.
  • expect to run into him everywhere and every time you somehow get roped into getting lunch at really nice and expensive places with him and eventually its like ‘???? are we on a date Kyoya??’
  • ‘Well, duh.’
  • ‘oh. cool.’

Honey:

  • Honey KNOWS he’s cute and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t use it to his advantage here
  • he is affectionate as hell and he’s always around you or holding your hand or giving you hugs or sometimes when he gets really confident or ahead of himself he’ll plant big kisses on your cheeks and HE GETS AWAY WITH IT because everyones just like ‘awww thats Honey-senpai for ya’
  • tbh about half of your life is spent sitting at his table eating with him because how can you say no to a face like that
  • but here’s the kicker *drumroll*… he saves food for you
  • i know right
  • like if he knows you’re coming today he will find your favourite flavour bring it to his table and protect it with his life if he has to no one is allowed to touch the desserts he saves for you
  • its terrifying tbh
  • Mori totally knows about his big fat crush tho and most of his time is spent hovering over Honey’s shoulder whispering ‘tell them’
  • ‘IM WORKING ON IT TAKASHI’
  • he’s confident - maybe even overly so - in interacting with you as his crush, and later as your s/o,  but we think he’d actually be pretty nervous about the actual confession part 
  • like he’s super worried that you only see him as this little brother figure and he knows that you smiling at him in that way that makes his stomach flip when he does something cute doesn’t equal attraction and you guys are pretty much surrounded by these other hot people who people are falling all over and bless his soul youre perfect just the way you are Honey don’t ever change you can be cute and a boyfriend at the same time my darling

Mori:

  • bruh. Mori is so unbelievably chill about this.
  • in fact, he’s SO chill that it presents a problem because it’s almost impossible for anyone but Honey to figure out that he likes you at all.
  • THIS MAN IS TOO TALENTED AT HIDING HIS BLUSH.
  • the one big factor? He talks more when you’re around. you bring out his more talkative (and flirty) side because he really just wants to keep your attention.
  • and you’re like ???????????????????????? did big silent Mori just FLIRT with you???
  • hell yes he did and you better respond my friend
  • doki doki
  • while he really wants to hang out with you he’s sometimes not exactly not sure how to ask, and that’s where Honey comes into the picture
  • Honey will often drag you along to spend time with him and Takashi and then have some sort of ‘emergency’ thats causes him to abscond so you’re left with Mori and Mori has no qualms whatsoever about this
  • PS Honey is a matchmaking genius
  • He also likes having study dates with you because you guys get to spend time together without relying on conversation to keep it going (also because he gets to call it a date and it makes him feel all wibbly inside)
  • spoiler alert: Mori is actually adorkable when it comes to romance
  • when he finally does confess its gonna be romantic (and surprising) as hell aww yeah

- Admin Kits and Beckett

  • Scene: Altair as the Beast, Malik is Beauty (very fetching in a gown...not really). Kadar as the plot device that brings Malik to Altair's castle to be prisoner forever.
  • Malik: I honestly expected you to be so much scarier what with your frighteningly bad manners.
  • Kadar: how about we not make him angry.
  • Malik: let my brother go.
  • Altair: if you take his place.
  • Malik: ...how about I kill you and then just take my brother?
  • Altair: ...
  • Kadar: ...Malik don't make him angry he has razor sharp teeth and claws like knives. I mean, you're good in a fight and all but he could take you. He's seven foot tall.
  • Malik: fine. I'll stay if you let Kadar go.
  • Altair: Fine.
  • Malik: Fine. SO I'LL JUST BE HERE IN THIS COLD, DREARY PRISON CELL BY MYSELF THEN.
  • Altair: no, you have to go to the fabulous room in my castle
  • Malik: fuck you no i don't.
  • Altair: I WILL MAKE YOU
  • Malik: I cannot believe that bastard is holding me prisoner in this lap of luxury.
  • Altair: I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW UNREASONABLE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES
  • Malik: I can't believe you won't feed me just because I find your company literally repulsive. Why the hell do you even need me here to begin with? Were you getting lonely with nothing but the furniture to watch you throw your temper tantrums?
  • Altair: STARVE FOREVER YOU ASSHOLE
  • Malik: Bitch, whatever, your furniture already likes me best.
  • (Furniture: Dude we are never, ever getting this curse broken, ever.
  • Furniture 2: I miss my arms and legs. Do you think if we drug them and lock them in a room together and they have sex it'll break the spell?
  • Furniture: ...I think if we tried they'd kill one another.)
  • Altair: Since you are OBVIOUSLY TOO BORING TO LIVE, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LIBRARY.
  • Malik: PERHAPS I CAN READ YOU A BOOK YOU ILLITERATE ASSHOLE. OH LOOK HERE'S ONE ABOUT MANNERS THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT TO YOUR LIFE.
  • Altair: I don't need books I can climb walls with my CLAWS.
  • Malik: I can feel myself growing stupider every day in you company.
  • Altair: SO TOMORROW YOU'LL HAVE THE IQ OF A ROCK?
  • Malik: ...I think you just insulted yourself.
  • Altair: No I didn't.
  • (Furniture: how about a song? we can just sing them into falling in love.
  • Furniture 2: no we have to put one of them in mortal danger so the other one realizes they secretly have feelings for the one in danger.
  • Furniture: ...you just want an excuse to light something on fire.)
  • Malik: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE?
  • Altair: I'm covered in fur, dickwad
  • Malik: I cannot believe my life right now. I am literally rubbing snow on your giant naked body while your fur blows smoke up my nose.
  • Altair: Well, if you'd done something besides stand there and LAUGH we wouldn't be in this situation, would we?
  • (Furniture: oh my god.
  • Furniture 2: song or drugs. these are our choices now.)
  • Malik: did you put something in my food?
  • Altair: What is happening to my penis? Why is this happening?
  • Malik: ...are you kidding me right now?
  • Altair: I GOT CURSED AT LIKE AGE 11 OKAY. IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO EXPLAIN A THING. Seriously though, it like wants to get closer to you.
  • Malik: you are a seven foot tall creature with three inch knives at the end of his fingers I don't think your mammoth dick will be getting anywhere near me.
  • Altair: but it wants you!
  • Malik: ...no.
  • (Furniture: SONG. OUR ONLY WEAPON IS SONG.
  • Furniture 2: *hums a tune*)
  • Altair: So, uh, when I got cursed the lady told me that I had to find someone to love me or I'd die at age twenty one.
  • Malik: When do you turn twenty one?
  • Altair: like tomorrow.
  • Malik: ..............................................
  • Altair: I'm only telling you because the lamps have been following me around aggressively singing about it all night.
  • Malik: at least it wasn't a feather duster with a lonely solo. What kind of love are we talking about here? Like forever or I'd do you for a night kind of love?
  • Altair: I'm not really sure. It happened pretty fast, I opened the door there was this hag and I was like ew no but she got all offended, killed my parents, took my kingdom, turned my servants into objects and abandoned me here as an eleven year old beast-child.
  • Malik: ...I did not think it was possible to feel sympathy for you but I think that's what's happening.
  • Altair: yeah, you'd think she'd be all like: look here child, there's more to life than how things look, or something. I mean I was a child. Also you're really good looking so I'm not sure what the ultimate moral of the story is.
  • Malik: *shrugs*
  • (Furniture: ok, new plan. We're going to storm the village, kidnap the brother and hold him as ransom until Malik declares his true and undying love for Altair.
  • Furniture 2: *takes all the knives* I'm ready.)
  • Altair: I...am not responsible for this.
  • Malik: I cannot believe I'm being forced into a shotgun wedding by a candelabra and a clock. OH ALTAIR THE LOVE THAT I FEEL FOR YOU IN MY HEART KNOWS NO MORTAL BOUNDS.
  • Altair: You could at least try to sound sincere.
  • Malik: whatever. get down here so I can kiss you.
  • Altair: at least I won't die without this final indignity.
  • Malik: ...*smooches Altair*
  • Altair: ...what's happening? *explodes into light, dramatically, entire castle is suddenly sparkling and pretty again, everything is awesome*
  • Malik: ...
  • Kadar: dude! kiss me!
  • Malik: what? No.
  • Kadar: you kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince with a house full of servants and an entire kingdom to obey him. Kiss me, I just want a horse and a girlfriend.
  • Malik: you are ridiculous and stupid.
  • Altair: ha! you liar. You said you didn't love me.
  • Malik: that is not what I said. I said the love that I feel for you in my heart knows no mortal bounds.
  • Altair: Yes but you were just being an asshole.
  • Malik: was I?
  • Altair: I thought?
  • Malik: maybe you shouldn't do that anymore. Now that you're man-sized and non-lethal how about we go to your room and I'll explain the whole sex thing to you.
  • Kadar: could someone untie me tho?
  • Kadar: no?
  • Kadar: that's fine.
  • Kadar: you'll come back eventually.
  • Kadar: ...won't you?
  • Kadar: MALIK!

anonymous asked:

Buddy cop AU Laurent and Damen

OH MY GOD

okay, so I do not have time to actually write anything long enough to do this justice, plus I can’t write anything dealing with mysteries worth shit, and also i havent seen many buddy cop movies (i dont watch a ton of movies in general tbh) BUT have some thoughts about police partners Damen and Laurent all the same

  • Laurent has not been a cop all that long but he is already cynical and jaded because life is terrible
  • Thinks everything would be better if you could just arrest everyone because everyone sucks anyway so who cares
  • Is actually a great fucking cop when he tries to be. No one can stand up to him in an interrogation room
  • Damen has been a cop longer than Laurent but he is not jaded because Damen believes in the best in everyone
  • Damen’s that cop who has criminals turning themselves in because he just sounded so goddamn sincere during his ‘I know you can be better’ speech
  • They become partners because reasons idk
    • For extra giggles imagine that Jord and Nikandros are their former partners and are now partners with each other. The most ‘done with your shit’ police duo of all time
  • Damen and Laurent are terrible partners
    • They start arguing during interrogations
    • Correcting each other during interviews, confusing witnesses
    • Sabotage each other during chases, usually ending in the criminal almost escaping
    • Always arguing over who gets to drive
  • Laurent think Damen is making fun of him because, come on, no cop has that much faith in humanity
  • Damen thinks Laurent is a spoiled brat who doesn’t like having to work for his paycheck
  • They have the entire police station losing their minds because ‘for fucks sake guys just try to get along. Please. Give us peace.’
  • The station is pretty split over whose side to be own though because Damen has lots of friends because hes a friendly guy, but the friends Laurent has are intensely loyal
  • Its practically turning into a war behind Laurent and Damen’s backs but they don’t notice because they are very busy hating each other
  • But THEN
  • In a shocking twist, something happens and there is probably shooting and adrenaline and close calls and maybe mutual saving of lives and then they are Friends
    • Friends who like to insist they hate each other, but friends
  • The department breathes a sigh of relief and calls off the war and is like ‘well, maybe now we can actually get work done’
  • And they do for a little while and also they realize that when Damen and Laurent aren’t trying to kill each other they are the most terrifying partnership that has ever existed
  • But THEN
  • In another shocking twist, Damen and Laurent begin to develop feelings (gross)
  • Damen just represses the fuck out of that like ‘do not fuck this friendship up, i know he is pretty, please be calm’
    • Nikandros agrees with him in this approach like ‘seriously damen i know you like pretty people with blond hair and blue eyes but STOP IT’
  • Laurent acts like feelings are a fucking disease or something and gets irrationally angry with Damen for giving them to him
  • Who does Damen think he is, making Laurent feel things
  • Laurent is the fucking ice prince of the police department thank you very much
  • And a few members of the police department are like ‘oh fuck, theyre fighting again, shit’ but most of them are like ‘oh no theyre in love what do we do’
  • They start placing bets on how long it will take them to get together, thats what they do
  • Nikandros and Jord bet on the same week but for different reasons
    • Nikandros knows Damen wants to tap that and figures thats how long it will take for a) Damen to admit this and b) Laurent to give in
    • Jord knows Laurent actually has legit feelings going on and thinks thats how long he needs to process them and decide what to do about it
  • Laurent and Damen stop being such a great team again but this time its because they keep getting distracted by all the fucking UST in the room
    • Seriously, it is so bad. The criminals are begging to be allowed to confess so they don’t have to stay in the room. It’s awkward for everyone but Damen and Laurent are too busy making heart eyes at each other when the other isn’t looking to notice.
  • They start taking it out on each other, yelling at the other one to do their job better because they’re angry at themselves
  • The police department is just skirting around them now, a mix of ‘oh my god just kiss him already’ and ‘oh god please don’t kill anyone including each other’
  • Eventually they have some final blowout fight and ‘break up’
    • I dont think you can just break up with your partner in the police force but theyre determined theyll figure it out
    • Buddy cop films dont care about real world police work anyway, so who gives a shit
  • But THEN
  • In yet another shocking plot twist, Laurent gets kidnapped or something by whatever overarching villian has been lurking in the background this whole time
  • Damen shows up to save him but gets his ass kicked because Damen is a great strategist when he tries but sometimes hes a little dumb when hes emotional (see: the entirety of the scene where he tries to fight the Regent at the Kingsmeet)
  • But then theyre together and what dumbass decided that was a good idea?
  • They bust out and call for backup and kick everyones ass and haul everyone back to the police station in handcuffs
  • And then theyre standing awkwardly in the hallway, not making eye contact
  • “I don’t want to see other partners” Damen says
  • “I don’t either” Laurent answers
  • And there is silence and then the UST is too much too handle and then they kiss and all is good
  • Until Jord walks in and just groans because ‘guys, come on, nikandros and i were betting on next week, you couldn’t have waited one more week to get your shit together’
  • Erasmus probably won, Erasmus is probably the station’s resident ‘might as well be psychic’
  • They go back to being a kickass crime fighting duo but now they make out whenever theyre not doing anything else
    • Like in the car between calls
    • Or in the police station when they dont want to do paperwork
    • Pallas walks in on them in the supply closet one time and probably never recovers

Thats all i have for you, but if you walk away with nothing else consider this: Damen would look fucking fantastic in a police uniform

“Oh my God, honey,” you say to your husband Austin. “What,” he says as he turns around and immediately focuses on the pregnancy test. “It`s positive… I`m pregnant,” You say out of joy. “Y/N thats great babe, I’m so excited,” Austin tells you as he hugs you and kisses your forehead. “You don’t sound too thrilled, I mean we’ve been trying for three months,” You tell him as you sit on the end of your king size bed. “Oh honey, it`s not that. You know that I want to have kids with you. It`s just Alan just called and we have to leave for the tour early,” Austin assures you as he sits next to you and wraps his arm around you. “But you just got back. How long will you be gone for?” You asked him. “Around four months, but then we have to go on another and that’s for five months,” Austin tells you as you put your face into your hands and cry. “Oh God no, please don’t cry Y/N. I’m sorry sweetie if I could stay, I would.” Your husband of two years and tells you as he starts to cry himself and hugs you even tighter, making you bury your face into his chest. “When do you leave?” you hear yourself ask as tears run down your face. “Tomorrow,” Austin muffles as he squeezes you tighter. “Well, let’s not sit here and cry, why don`t we celebrate? Maybe go out to dinner or stay in and cuddle and watch something on Netflix?” You say to him as you wipe away your tears and force out a smile thinking about how he will miss the baby`s first check up and wouldn’t be able to hear the baby’s heart beat for the first time with you. “As long as i’m with you and this baby I don’t care,” he tells you as he places his hand on your tummy. You can’t help but smile at him.

Eight weeks go by since Austin left and you go in for your first check up wishing he was there with you to hold your hand. The doctor tells you to lift up your shirt and you do so as he squirts the cold jelly on your stomach and looks for the baby’s heart beat. “Oh here we go, I found it, do you hear that?” The doctor asks as he shows you the screen and you start to cry. “Oh hold on there’s another, well Mrs. Carlile looks like your having twins!” He tells you and you automatically start to cry even harder with tears of joy. Later that day you tried calling Austin, who didn’t answer (which really wasnt a surprise). You texted him, for the fourth time, asking him to call you back. It’s now 3 a.m. and you’re awoken by your phone going off. To your surprise it`s your husband Austin, “Hey sweetie, sorry it’s so late, I just got done a show and wanted to check on my beautiful girl.” “I’m fine honey, I miss you like crazy though,” you tell him with a sleepy voice. “How was the doctors is the baby okay?” He asked with a hint of worry in his voice. “Oh, you mean are THEY okay?” You tell him trying to conceal your excitement. “They?” He asked confused. “We`re having twins honey!” You try not to yell into the phone. “Oh my God! What! Y/N thats the best news I’ve heard all day. GUYS IM HAVING TWINS!” You hear him yell to what you assume is the rest of the band, hearing some cheers in response.

A few months and a couple of doctor appointments later, the doctor tells you that you’re having a boy and a girl. You call and tell Austin and he helps you pick out the name for your daughter, automatically having named your son after his father and you two had ended up deciding on the name Emily for your daughter.

You’re nine months now and Austin still isn’t home from touring. The next stop is a home show, the venue being only twenty minutes away from where you two live. As you`re putting away the baby’s clothes, you feel a tight feeling in your stomach and then your water breaks. As your best friend drives you to the hospital you try calling Austin one more time, with no answer. You give birth to two beautiful healthy babies.

A week goes by, and it`s the day before going to see your husband. You had just gotten the twins to fall asleep and you call your husband and on the first ring he answers, “I was just about to call you honey. I love you and miss you like crazy, I hate being away from you for so long. It’s not fair to you. I cant wait to meet our beautiful children because you just sending me pictures and texting me isn’t cutting it anymore,” he tells you as you hear his voice crack. “I love you too babe, more then you will ever know and they`re doing fine, they just fell asleep. I can`t wait to see you tomorrow,” You tell him, trying not to cry. You say the rest of your good byes and fall asleep only to be awoken by the cry of your son who needed to be changed and fed. He quickly returned back to sleep and so did you. The next morning you go and see Austin, bringing the twins. “Oh my God!” he yells as he sees you. When he got to you, he started to cry when he picked up Austin Jr. “They`re amazing, Y/N. Emily has your eyes,” he tells you as he kisses your son’s forehead. “He has your smile,” you tell him as you cradle Emily trying to get her to stay awake. “I can’t wait to be home with you guys tonight,” Austin tells you as he kisses your lips and runs onto stage. You begin to smile watching the love of your life and the father of your newborns play on stage, waiting for it to be over so you can kiss him and watch him hold your daughter.

The Letter - Luke imagine

The concierge at the hotel you had been staying in stops you unexpectedly as you walk past the front desk. “Miss,” he says, “a letter has been dropped off for you.” Apprehensively, you approach the desk, thanking him and taking the blue envelope he had been holding. Your heart fell when you saw your name scribble in oh so familiar chicken scratch handwriting. No address and no stamp, just your first name. He had been there, the letter was hand delivered. You didn’t open it right away, you didn’t know if your heart could take it. You clutched it in your hands as you road the elevator up to your room. Finally, you sit criss cross on the middle of the bed and turn on a lamp. You stare down at the blue envelope once more before running your finger underneath the seal. Inside was a napkin, black ink scrolled all over. You took a deep breath and began to read.


Y/N,
I know you said you need space and thats what I’m giving you, but right now I’m drunk as hell and you’re never going to see this. I haven’t stopped thinking about you- drunk, sober, awake, or asleep you are all thats ever on my mind. I fucking miss you y/n. I don’t want this anymore- you are all I want. I’ve never known what its like to feel so lost, I never thought I would be so close to losing you. I wont let that happen. I have this reoccurring nightmare, like a snippet of a dream, you are smiling and tilting your head back in  laughter- eyes bright as you slide your arms around the neck of a guy. Every time I get excited because it feels so real, I feel like he is me and I finally have you back… But then its all ripped away, because I realize he is not me; I’m watching from a distance and my heart fills with pain and I want to go take you away from him but I can’t.. I can’t move- instead I wake up, covered in sweat in an unfamiliar place. Its killing me, missing you is killing me and I need you to know how I feel. Being apart has made me realize, nothing we have ever fought about matters, I’d take back everything I’ve ever said if you’d let me. I can’t do this anymore because I love you, unlike I’ve ever loved anyone or anything before. And I know I drank a little too much, and if you saw me you’d say its the alcohol talking but its not, its all true, this is how I feel and I need you to know it. I cant stand the thought of you without me or me without you, I’m going insane in this limbo we’ve created. I hate taking space, I would rather have you here in front of me, screaming in my face that I’m a fucking idiot because I would tell you that I am, I would reach for you and tell you that I’m wrong, that I’m always wrong if thats what you want to hear. I’ll tell you anything because I don’t care- there’s one thing I want in this world and its not to be right- its to be with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need you, I need you to be mine and I’ll be yours. Just like the way things were but better because I’ll do anything to be with you, to keep you… And these are all things I’m even stupider for not saying to your face. I should and I wish I could, but I’m  fucking scared shitless it will go wrong. That it would turn into a fight and then I’d lose you for good.  I’m so sick of fights, I hate them. So here I am scribbling on a napkin in a bar with Mike standing over my shoulder telling me we’re here to have a good time, but I can’t, not when I’m so close to losing you, not when I have so much to say. I don’t want this to be goodbye. Lets start this again for real, because I fucking love you, I’m fucking crazy about you y/n
.

By now you have tears rolling down your cheeks, he said everything you’ve felt and thought since the day you decided to take a break. Being away from him was tearing you up too, he was right, this limbo was insane. As you went to put the napkin back in the envelope a small note fell out. The handwriting on this was much more clear. It read:

P.S
I guess by now you know who this is from. I had no intention of ever giving you it to you, but I found it in my pocket this morning and reading it dead sober I realized, its everything I didn’t say, its everything I need you to know. Remember our spot downtown? The cafe with the bright orange chairs? I’ll be there at noon, waiting if you decide after reading this you’re ready to see me. I still love you.
- Luke x

Your heart drops as you look at the clock, its already 12:25. You scramble to pull on a sweater and boots as you grab your bag and run out the door, gripping the papers in your hand.

The cool fall air hits you in the face as you exit the hotel. There’s not a taxi in sight and you begin to panic. Your heart is racing, you look up and down the street before you begin to run as fast as you can, weaving past people on the crowded sidewalk.

You fear its too late as you near the cafe 15 minutes later. You slow to catch your breath about a block away, as you begin to realize there’s no way he’d still be there. You continue walking even though you’ve lost all hope, but thats when you notice the door to the cafe swing open.

There he was, walking with his head down and shoulders slouched over, defeated. He barely looked up as he followed his security guard  in the direction of the black suv parked a bit further down the road.

You call his name as you begin to run again. He doesn’t look in your direction, he must not have heard you, so you say it again as you approach him. “Luke,” you say breathlessly, voice wavering.

A sign of relief washes across his face as he turns and sees you. “Fuck,” he exhales immediately reaching out for you and pulling your body into his chest. He hugs you tightly and you do the same. You can hear his heart pounding as you rest your ear against his chest.

“I thought… for a second, I thought you weren’t coming,” he admitted.

You look up into his eyes, “I ran as fast as I could,” you tell him, “I’m here now,” you say in a lower tone and he rests his forehead against yours, “It’d be an awful mistake not to come,” you whisper.He smiles down at you widely and you move onto your tippy toes, connecting your lips with his. “I’m sick of fighting too, Luke” you tell him then kiss him again, sliding your arms around his neck, “this is all I want.”

.:Masterlist:.    Ask Me Shit 

sorry the end is so predictable i kind of don’t really like any of this but whatever maybe you did.. lmk what you think .. inspired by blink 182 always and 5sos everything i didn’t say… also if your bored send me a line and a guy and maybe ill write it into a blurb … as always thanks for reading ilysm (lil heart <3 if ya liked it)

its been pointed out before that arya is one of the few characters to react on page to all her family members deaths. this is especially significant for the starks because they’ve all been separated for so long and theres a lot of uncertainty regarding what has become of each of them. most of the time we don’t get to see their immediate reactions to news of the others alleged fates

A long time ago, she remembered her father saying that when the cold winds blow the lone wolf dies and the pack survives. He had it backwards. Arya, the lone wolf, still lived, but the wolves of the pack had been taken and slain and skinned. (affc)

theres a great deal of focus on family in arya’s storyline. this is because her identity arc and her pack are COMPLETELY dependent on each other. arya’s gradual loss of her identity is a direct response to each relationship that she loses to death or abandonment. 

Keep reading

OK!! here is the obligatory theory post for Rokka no Yuusha

The main mystery within this anime is that there is one treacherous fiend hiding amongst the seven people who claim to be one of the Six Braves of the Six Flowers.

I’ll first discuss the three most obvious characters that are under suspicion of being the fiend. which I hope will mean that they are not actually the fiend - so that there is actual shock when it is revealed. And then the other three non-suspicious braves, which I’m hoping the fiend will turn out to be.

Adlet Mayer, as the protagonist, is of course disqualified from suspicion. Although it would be pretty fucking sweet if he did turn out to be the fiend. im always a slut for twists and unreliable narrators.

Alright lets start with the absolutely most obvious choice: Hans Humpty

Keep reading

Flip Of A Switch

From a submission on nezushi-headcanons page. Shion is constantly flipping between stable and unstable and Nezumi is the only one who can help him.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

In a second, one small, seemingly insignificant second, it happened.
They had been talking about dinner. How could that cause a Flip? They were talking about potatoes and beef stew and what they would need to buy. They were walking home as they talked, with the intention to stop by the market on the way there.
What caused it?
Nezumi wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, embracing him tightly. He pushed Shions face into his own shoulder in an attempt to supress the terrified boys’ screams. Tear poured down his ghostly-pale face and he begun to hyperventilate. But his eyes- violet, wide, and afraid- showed that he wasnt seeing what was in front of him, but vicious flash backs of the hell Nezumi put him through.
It ate Nezumi alive, knowing he caused this. Each and every Flip Shion went through was the rats fault. He had tried so hard to keep Shion the same innocent boy he was before the two met, but all the death and suffering they witnessed inside the correctional facility, and hell knows what pain he went through when Nezumi had been gone for those two long years, changed him horribly. His once vibrant smile wasnt so cheerful anymore. It was a change only Karan and Nezumi could see, but it was there. And his violet eyes that could see right through someone, and yet still showed kindness, now seemed clouded.
Shion balled his fist in between his and Nezumi’s chest and attempted to scream out of terror again, just to be muffled by the taller boys shoulder. He weakly tried to push against Nezumi, also trying to pound his chest, but couldnt muster the strength to. His knees buckled and the two fell awkwardly to the ground, Nezumi on his ass and Shion on his knees, leaning into the boy who was still holding him. Both their bodies trembled, despite the hot afternoon.
Nezumi grinded his teeth together in frustration. He could feel his own tears threaten to pool in his eyes, but he refused to let them. As much as these Flips scared the shit out of him, as there were others a lot worse that involved physical attacks and verbal assault, he never let himself fall apart in front of Shion. He needed to be there for him, to be his rock when his world seemed to crumble. Even so, he desperatley wanted to call Shion out of this fresh hell he was in, but knew from past Flips that it didnt work. He had to wait for it to pass. He would stay strong. He would.
Shion sobbed, trying to pull away from Nezumi. Nezumi kept his grip as much as he could, but Shion still turned in his arms, freeing one of his own hands as well. Nezumi braced for a hit, but none came. Instead, Shion just stared at his hand, gasping and whimpering. Fresh tears slid down his face and he began to become frantic again.
Nezumi tightened his grip in his right arm around Shions waist, while using his left hand to grab Shions right hand, struggling with the boy to see what was scaring him ao bad.
Shion ripped his hand away and hollared again, Nezumi shoving his head back into his own shoulder again. He silently thanked whoever that they took their usual short cut to get home, and that nobody was around.
Nezumi looked down at his fingers and saw a small smear of red along his index and middle finger.
Blood.
“Aw, shit.” He cursed quietly, not knowing why Shion was bleeding exaclty, but now knowing the trigger that caused this Flip.
He loosenes his grip around Shion, allowing he frantic boy to sit up and cry out once more, staring at his trembling hand. He dragged his other hand through his hair, mumbling something under his breath.
“Please no please no please no please no no no no!”
“Shion.” Nezumi tried quietly. Slowly placing his hand over Shions bleeding one. When he didnt pull away, Shion carefully pulled it to where he could see the pale boys palm more clearly. Shion jerked his hand away, but then placed it back in the other boys.
“Good, you’re coming back.” Nezumi said with kindness. “You’re alive, Shion. You and I both. I’m right here and so are you. So, come back to me, your Majesty.”
There, right in the center of his palm was a cut that was already clotting up, the bleeding stopped. Nezumi licked his own thumb and carefully rubbed it along the outside of the cut, removing the extra blood. As he did, he looked around to see what could have cause the injury. There was a wrought-iron fence at the beginning of the path, but it had fallen apart half way through the path, but could have Shion hurt himself on it earlier?
“I-I’m sorry.”
Nezumi looked back over to Shion, a hint of shock on his face. He hadnt expected Shion to talk for the rest of the night. Usually after a Flip, he would go completely silent for the rest of the day and sit in a trance-like state, as if it took a huge toll on him. Nezumi wouldnt doubt it if it did. After a few hours, Nezumi would get Shion to bed and let him lie in his room awake until night where he would sing him to sleep and stay with him, while nightmares gave him a fitful sleep.
Nezumi blinked while Shion sniffed, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. He stared at where Nezumi held his hand, still shivering. “I-I stumbled back there and I c-caught myself on the fence, but I guess thats where I cut my-myself a-and…” He trailed off, closing his eyes and crying more.
“Its not your fault, Shion.” Nezumi said, putting his free arm around the shivering boys shoulders and pulling him in for a hug, while keeping Shions injured hand gripped in his own. “These things happen. Its alright.”
“No, its not!” Shion cried, his whole body racked with sobs. He nuzzled into the crook of Nezumi’s neck, feeling the pulse of the other boy on his cheek. “I shouldnt fall this easy! I need to be stronger but I just keep being a burden! And you, how do you do it, Nezumi?”
“What, Shion?” He asked patiently.
“After everything, you’re the same. You dont freak out over stupid shit like I do and you are always so calm. How?”
Nezumi sighed, stroking Shions back to calm him. But now, he couldnt help it. He remembered all those nights, trying to breathe right and to not collapse at the smell of a burn pile. He remembered the empty feeling he had in the pit of his stomach when he woke from a nightmare just to find Shion wasnt asleep across the room.
“Why do you think I left for so long? I didnt want you to see me like that.” Nezumi whispered, finally letting his own tears silenlty fall. “And I was so worried about myself, that I hurt you worse.”
Shion was silent as he listened to Nezumi’s heart beat. He closed his eyes when he felt a cool tear drip onto his own, already wet cheeks.
After a few moments, Shion opened his eyes and leaned back just enough to be able to see the man he cared so deeply for. He freed his uninjured hand from in between both of their shivering bodies to place it on Nezumi’s cheek, turning his head so their eyes could meet. Violet eyes stared into deep grey eyes that spilled over in absolute-quiet tears. For a few more moments, they sat there without saying a word, but reading what they needed to know from the others eyes.
Finally, Shion spoke. “I dont blame you, Nezumi. When you first left, I did. I was really sad and angry, but I also knew you needed time away. And, even though I had terrible nightmares where you died, I never stopped hoping you would come back.” Shion, swallowed, finally breaking eye contact to look down at where his hand held the others cheek. “And you did. And, somehow, you coming back seemed to mend everything I had against you. I dont know why, but thats how it worked. You’re here for me when I cry, and you hold me when I have nightmares, and your singing- I’m surrounded by it, I always hear it. And I love it, and I love you, so please dont blame yourself, because I dont.”
Nezumi took a shaky breath in, feeling as if a weight had been removed from his shoulders. He didnt know how badly he needed to hear this until it was said. He leaned his forehead down until it rested on top of Shions. His body still trembled, and, like after every Flip, would most likely tremble for the rest of the day, but Nezumi didnt care. Right now, it was him and Shion. They werent in a blazing fire, or a crumbling Correctional Facility, or at seperate ends of the earth. They were here, together.
Nezumi closed his eyes as he closed the gap between his and Shions lips. The kiss was cautious and light, but was followed by a more comfortable one, then another until Shion winced.
Nezumi pulled back, looking worriedly into the violet eyes. “Whats wrong?”
Shion attenpted a sheepish smile, but couldt manage one. “My hand hurts.” He said, almost reluctantly.
Nezumi had gripped his injured hand rather hard, and the scabbed over cut was now bleeding slightly again. Before Shion could see it, Nezumi unwrapped his scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around the boys hand.
“Lets just get home.” Nezumi said, helping the other boy to his feet. His legs still shook, but, leaning against Nezumi, he managed to get home without a problem.
There, after Nezumi treated Shions cut hand, the two settled in bed, deciding they would use whatever they had in their kitchen for dinner later that day. But for the time being, the two layed together, alternating between Nezumi singing various songs and Shion reading aloud. Just as they both needed

humanitysstrongestweeb  asked:

Okay first of all, I know you don't like him, but I kinda want to request a cute asahi coffee shop Au type thing with his s/o being the barista?

Okay, I think I may have gone a bit over board with this ask Pixie! Lmao. Like you said, I’m not overly fond of Asahi but I hope you enjoy this none the less. <3 


The aroma of rich coffee wafted through the building in the early hours of the morning. The smell pierced though the foggy veil of sleep with the bitter yet smooth, rich scent of roasted beans. There was also a subtle sweet scent of vanilla and caramel in the mix. The pleasant smell wafted, dancing through the air. It was such an invigorating odour that left a lingering taste on the tongue, a craving if you may. 

Asahi never thought much about something as simple as a cup of coffee, but that all changed on one fateful day. He was out, dropping off resumes and in search of employment, which wasn’t doing well. Let’s just say the ‘wild’ look that Asahi had, did not appeal to potential employers. The rain was sudden, catching Asahi off guard as he used his messenger bag as a make-shift umbrella. Hurrying, he rushed through the streets in search for cover. The coffee shop was the closest, the most convenient to him. 

That’s the day that changed everything for Asahi. Stepping into that little, quaint coffee shop must have been the best day of his life. That was the day he met you. You were the main barista, the only child of the owner. You were the one who was working that day Asahi stumbled into the shop. Worrying about how drenched he was and how he would catch a cold if he didn’t dry off and get warm. He can still remember the taste of the warm cup of coffee you had made for him, to warm his cold body. This left Asahi in a flustering mess, due to your kindness. 

That was the only beginning of what started out as a beautiful friendship. After that day, Asahi would find himself at your father’s shop after a long day of job searching with no luck. You would be there, a hot and delicious cup of coffee in your hands for him. There you both would chat, talking about everything and anything. That was until time was running thin for Asahi. The money he had started to dwindling to nothing and potential job offers were slim. That was the day you said something amazing, the day that was just as amazing as the day he met you. 

“How about working here? You’re here enough, and well, I wouldn’t mind the extra help.”

That’s how it began, how Asahi began working at the coffee shop. It was a lot harder than he had expected, not understanding what you had to do behind the scenes of being a barista. Though he came to enjoy being at the shop at the brink of dawn with you, as you both began to start the day. He had come to enjoy the astonishing scent of coffee. He was starting to get the hang of all the machines that came with being a barista. He was also coming to terms in memorizing all the specialty drinks and the lingo that came along with the job. Never had he expected coffee to come in so many varieties. Sure, he still messed up orders and messed up on certain drinks, but you were patient with him and showed him step by step. Even the costumers were patient with him, which was something new.

Today was like any other, both you and Asahi were opening up for the day, the shop filling with the familiar scent of coffee. Asahi had finished wiping down the small round tables as he turned to look at you. You were behind the counter, clipboard in hand as you continued doing the daily inventory. One hand pushed some stray hair behind your ear, tapping the end of the pencil against your lip as you looked at the stock on the shelf. A small smile graced Asahi’s features without his knowing, a regular occurrence for him when he caught sight of you.  

He didn’t know when it happened, when he began to see you more than a friend. You had helped him in so many ways that Asahi didn’t even know where to begin to repay you. You were kind, gentle and patient. You were soft spoken, yet confident in your thoughts and words. You were amazing to Asahi. Maybe he was always attracted to you, since the first time he laid eyes on you, he just didn’t know it.

Asahi’s face burned red in embarrassment when you caught his eye, a smile breaking out on your face. He spluttered out that he finished cleaning, flailing his hands at the tables around him in an awkward manner. The gentle laugh you emitted made Asahi’s stomach twist and tumble in a gymnastic-like routine. 

“Thanks, I think we are almost ready to open up.” You stated, putting down your clipboard and grabbing two of the mugs that were hanging on the hooks behind you. “Should we have a cup of coffee before we open up?”

“Sure.” Asahi agreed, putting the cloth he was using away, seating himself on one of the comfy couches that lined the window.

You began working, the motions were like clockwork to you now. Asahi watched as you filled the two cups. You always seemed to make the perfect coffee for him. Sweetening it just enough to remove the bitter bite, but not too sweet by any means. He thanked you as you sat down next to him, bringing the mug to your lips. Asahi watched you take a tentative sip, avoiding burning your lips and tongue.

“Seven Months,” you spoke, causing Asahi to pause in mid sip of his own drink.  

“What?” Asahi arched a brow, unsure what you meant by your statement.  

You smile, rubbing your thumb along the lip of your white ceramic mug. “It’s been seven months since you walked through that door during the sudden rain pour.”

“Has it been that long already?” Asahi asked in surprise, a small chuckle following his statement. He never expected time to pass by so fast, but time always seemed to fly by when he spent it with you. “Best day of my life was that day.”

“Oh?” You watched as Asahi’s eyes widened, the red blush reaching up to the tip of his ears. “And what do you mean by that Asahi?” You placed your cup on the table as you turned your body to look at him. 

“I-I, err…” Stammered the male, “you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“But I did, so what do you mean it was the best day of your life?” You pressed, curious in why that particular day was the best of his life. Did something happen after you met him, because it couldn’t have earlier that day, after what he had told you. 

Asahi rubbed the back of his neck, with one hand as he set his own untouched coffee on the table. He didn’t know where to begin or what to say without making things awkward. What if you thought he was being weird, or creepy? Would that change things between you two? What if you felt so uncomfortable that you had him fired? There were just too many things that could go wrong. 

“Asahi?” Your voice was gentler now, placing a hand on his arm in a reassuring manner. “Sorry, I shouldn’t press you if you don’t want to talk about it.”

The worlds tumbled out of his mouth before he could even think of what he was doing. Just seeing your saddened expression broke down any walls Asahi was attempting to build. “It was because thats the day I met you!” His hands clapped over his mouth in a hurry as his eyes widened. 

You were not expecting him to say that as you looked at him with wide eyes. Feeling the warm feeling run along your cheek was the tell-tale sign of a blush as you pressed your hands to your cheeks.

“Sorry, I don’t want to make it awkward or anything. Please forget what I said!” Asahi clenched his eyes closed, not wanting to see what type of expression you had. He could just imagine what look you would give him.

“Asahi.” You placed a hand on his arm once more, making him open his eyes and look at you. Startled to see a sincere smile on your features as the slight negativity that nagged him began to disappear. “Can I tell you something?”

“O — of course you can!”

The red hue on both yours and Asahi’s cheeks grew darker as you leaned forwards, closer to Asahi as you spoke in a hushed whisper. 

“That is the same reason I remember that certain date,” you smiled as Asahi began to register what you said. He caught onto your statement as he looked at you in shock. Before he could say anything, you closed the distance, pressing your lips against his. 

Asahi’s heart hammered against his chest, the butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t sit still. He wondered if his hands were as clammy as he though they were, but even so he wouldn’t change this moment for anything. He reached upwards, hand cupping your face as you both continued to kiss. Pulling away after a moment, you both looked at one another and smiled. Thats the moment you both concluded would be the second best moment of your life. 

The moment that the smell of coffee turned into a bitter, yet smooth and rich taste that lingered on Asahi’s lips.

-Umi

My OTRA Experience

Hey everyone here is my experience of seeing One Direction on Valentines Day AND for the first time! I must say it was the best night of my life and Harry Styles got hit by I think Tim Tams. So here I begin!

It was around 4pm when I left for 1D. My cousins Mum picked me up and went into the city together, and had dinner at a restaurant right opposite Etihad Stadium. I saw thousands of girls either at where they were staying or waiting outside and it was hectic. The energy was buzzing and the gates hadn’t even opened yet. I sat on the floor section B2 Row A, which was front row in my section and 3 sections back from the catwalk! 

Finally the gates opened and we went inside, that’s when I said goodbye to my family members (as they were sitting somewhere else) and headed to explore by myself. I found the merchandise stalls and immediately got depressed by the price of things. $50 for one shirt! Like man I’m a teen girl who has no money like geez that’s steep, but I still bought it, along with some posters and a flag.

While in line I met this really nice girl who was also a Harry girl and immediately got along. She told me that she was there from midday and that in sound check the boys played Stockholm Syndrome multiple times. It sounded really confusing as it wasn’t on the set list in Sydney etc, and unfortunately the boys didn’t play it either. 

After becoming broke I moved on to finding my seat. I had a nice view of the boys and as I was front row I could easily stand in the makeshift walkways and take decent pictures. When I sat down I got greeted with the girl next to me. Her name was Bella and her mum came also for the first time to see 1D. Me and her do some really random shit during the concert which I will get to shortly. 

I remember checking my phone at 8:27pm. The boys would be on in any second but what plays? The macerna closely followed by Beyonce Single Ladies. Literally the whole entire audience was jamming to Beyonce and you could feel the energy beginning to grow. Finally the lights shut off and the music begins. I could not believe what was happening, after so long of never seeing them they were standing less than 20 meters away. With tears building I mentally smacked myself so I didn’t make a mess of myself and forced my eyes not to cry. 

Then I see my beautiful long haired sexy husband come out singing the lyrics to Clouds. His energy on stage was electrifying. Hes cute and signature dance moves rocked the catwalk floor and most importantly, those locks of brunette hair swayed joyously on his broad shoulders. Everything I have always seen in a YouTube video was standing right before me and that’s a lot to take in, especially when he decided to fall AGAIN on the edge of the catwalk. 

Niall shared with us that “Melbourne is my second home” and wore an Aussie flag around his neck. Zayn spoke and killed us all with his high note in You and I (as per usual). Louis was loud and bubbly like he always is. He (along with all the boys) constantly thanked us for everything we’ve done and for selling out this stadium. Liam was talkative and said we were the best crowd so far from this tour, along with talking. Yes just him even talking even gave me feels, his accent is so sexy and just in general anything that Liam Payne does makes me fall to the floor. Anyway moving on to Harry he was full of energy and wished us all a happy Valentines Day. I did say he slipped and fell above and what actually happened was I think he tripped on something or slipped and at last minute I was recording Louis and saw him fall haha. He was such a tease though honestly with all of his muscles and tattoos and sexy arms oh it was too much to handle. 

So here comes the interesting part of my concert experience. The girl next to me (Bella) asked me during the concert if I wanted to get water with her. She said to me she saw people selling water towards the catwalk area so we went from our seats and went. We walked almost all the way to the catwalk and videoed a little while having no luck searching for water. Anyway we run back but around half and hour later I saw a break in the security, Harry was standing right on the section of the catwalk that I could run to the very front and so I grabbed Bella and ran for it. I ran until I got to the end of the catwalk and filmed Harry while fooling the guards pretending I was looking for someone. He came up to me and said no filming but I made a lie saying I was searching for someone. He actually believed me and by then Harry moved on and I went back. I made eye contact with him and I’m pretty sure he saw me too. I felt on top of the world because I fooled the stupid guards and managed to get decent filming of Harry literally right in front of me. 

After that song the boys had a quick change of clothes. Harry and Zayn hairs were put into buns and Harry changed into this really hot white T shirt that revealed all of those tattoos. Literally eye candy gold it was. Nialler announced that there were only 3 songs left. The first was You and I. Many girls including myself bought little love heart posters which filled the stadium to hold during this song. You and I is one of my favourite songs by the boys and I sure was pleased as it sounded so unique and powerful. It showed all of the boys talented voices along with a sick bass. Liam was impressed by our efforts to create the stadium full of hearts and so he asked us to pull them all out again so he could take a picture. All we need now is for him to post it.

Next was little black dress (which was very much fun to jam too) and then ending with Best Song Ever. While jamming to BSE, the boys were at the very end of the catwalk and Bella grabbed me and pointed to all of the girls running to where we were at the catwalk before. I quickly reached for my phone and ran too, pushing past slower people until I saw the reason why they ran. The boys were walking back up the catwalk and I had to find a spot where they would see me. On the side of me was a chair (and rules strictly said no standing on chairs) but I yoloed and did it anyway. I made sure no one else got on it so it wouldn’t break and watched the boys look at me and the rest of us. I couldn’t believe it. They saw me and I filmed it AND for once in my life I managed to do it. 

Unfortunately the boys left the stage and I immediately missed them. I jumped off the chair and walked backed to my seat, picked my things and went on the road again. 

So there is my OTRA experience! Sorry if its so long and I will post my videos and pictures in the morning as my phone has died. If anyone has some pics/videos from this concert please submit them to me as I would love to keep them! 

Trivialize

type: one-shot

genre: angst

portrayal: you can love someone so much, but you can never love someone as much as you miss them.

Oh Sehun was an enigma. He was quite possibly the most fickle, capricious person that you had ever had the joy of coming across. He was twenty-one now. Hard set and prepared to conquer the city, one wink and smirk at a time.

There were so many rumors about him. It was difficult to depict the truth from the lies, so you stayed out of listening to them. Sehun grew up in the same neighborhood as you. His father- being the District Court Judge- was frequently working, and despite the perks of a large income, Sehun was left with a nanny more often than not.

You’re not sure if you actually can classify your relationship to him as a friendship. You went to the same schools from primary to junior high, and had the same bus stop and lunch period; at first you didn’t even know each others names. It seemed like Oh Sehun liked being alone, maybe thats why he never played with any of the kids in the neighborhood. Or joined in games at recess. Both of you shared conversations of course, you needed a friend and Sehun seemed to need one too.

“Why do you always look sad?” Was the first thing that Sehun had ever said to you. He asked as you two walked the same path to the bus stop, like you did every day for four years before that. You whipped your head to the side, surprised at the sudden noise breaking through the silent morning air. Sehun was walking on the sidewalk across the road, two lanes between you. He was wearing the school uniform, the pant legs landing right before his black sneakers. The school crewneck was spilling over his khakis, unlike all other boys who made sure that it was tucked and pulled tightly over their torsos.

“What?” You asked, confused. You were only eight years old- how were you supposed to respond?

“My mom told me that whenever people are sad, you can see it on their faces.” He gripped his backpack straps, curiosity clouding his round face. “You always look like theres a big rain cloud over you!” He spread his short arms as wide as they could go, nearly tripping over a pebble that was on the cement.


That’s how you and Oh Sehun became friends. Maybe that term of endearment would fit for that time frame.

All through the remaining two years of primary school, you two became close. Everyday you walked the same path to the bus stop, sat together at lunch, and played at recess. Sehun slowly started coming over to your house after school, whether it be to play or stay for dinner. He slowly started opening up to you.

“Are we friends?” He asked one day as you played with legos under a blanket fort you made earlier.

“Of course! We’re best friends, silly!” You nudged his arm with your elbow, continuing to work on the small castle in front of you.

He yanked your forearm and brought your body into his tiny side. “You’re my best friend.” He exclaimed, feeling excited.

“Sehun-ah!” You squeezed, as his little arms squeezed you into a tight hug. You pulled away, laughing to the point of hysterics. The lego castle long torn apart from the quick moving of limbs. The blanket fort collapsed over you both as Sehun flung his head back, accidentally bumping the chair used to hold all the blankets.

“My moms gonna be mad at this mess.” You huffed, pushing the fleece quilt off of yours and Sehun’s heads. “Maybe we should go to your house?”

Thats when Sehun paled. A weird thing for an eight year old girl to see, considering how naive you had been. You figure that if you went back in time, maybe you would’ve noticed the red flags.


Sehun didn’t speak to you for three weeks after. It doesn’t seem like a long time now, but these were three third grade weeks- can you imagine?

Sehun normally waited outside of your house every morning at 6:45. Every time you walked out, he would give you a Banana Milk and you’d make the journey together.

The first day back to school after the incident he wasn’t there. You assumed he was ill, but then again Oh Sehun never missed school. Not even the half day before winter break. You shrugged it off, going on your way with an empty stomach and a creeping feeling of loneliness (which at the time you assumed was also from lack of food).

The second day, Sehun wasn’t there again. This time, you saw him walking quickly to the end of your block. You yelled a quick goodbye to your parents and shot into a sprint.

“Sehun! Sehun-ah!” You felt like he couldn’t hear you over the seeming constant wind, because he kept his same pace. Finally, you were able to reach out and grasp his shoulder. You stopped running, the momentum causing Sehun to stumble back into you.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” You pouted, trying to keep your panting down because it seemed like Sehun never ran out of breath. He shrugged, turning his head and looking at the other side of the road, where he would walk alone everyday. Maybe he still would if he hadn’t talked to you first.

“Well lets go! If we miss the bus my mom won’t be able to take us.” You latched your arm with his, not noticing how he flinched at the contact, or how he didn’t have his sleeves rolled up like he usually did.

“Lets sit in the front this time. It’s sorta cold and we will be close to the heater.” You pulled him into the first seat behind the driver, leaning against the window as he moved his arm from your hold.

“Has your dad gotten any presents for you yet? I think I saw my mom wrapping a few.” You whispered, giggling as you thought about the pink Barbie Dream House you saw on the living room floor. Sehun shook his head, looking across the isle and out the opposite window.

“Yah! Why are you so quiet today? Were you sick? Are you still?” You couldn’t help the spill of questions, because you weren’t used to Sehun not telling you things.

“No, I was with my dad.” He muttered, tugging his backpack strings to tighten them. You left it at that. Informing him on all of the things you did yesterday that you couldn’t tell him. How your mom made Sehuns favorite hot chocolate because thats what she did everyday now. How your dad came home early and brought black bean noodles and dumplings from a restaurant across town. Sehun didn’t say much, but every time he nodded you assume he was listening.


Sehun stopped taking the bus after that. You found out three days later, after sobbing to your mom and begging her to call his dad because you missed him.

“His nanny takes him everyday now. His dad said that Sehun doesn’t like the bus.” She wiped hot tears from your cheeks, trying to smear them away before they even fell.

“We’re best friends though!” You cried, clutching your mothers shoulders for dear life.

“Do you want to walk to his house and see him?” You would’ve said yes in a heart beat, but Sehun told you that no one else was allowed at his house, even you. He said that he would just come to yours- because you had a bigger tv anyways.

“No. I can see him at lunch.”

And you did, for two more weeks. You stopped trying to talk to him after the first, your mom saying that he might just want to be alone. Now you realize that old habits die hard.

“I missed you.” Sehun finally said, two weeks later. You were beginning your lonely track to school, the ground dusted with snow. It was the last two days before break, and your mom had your hair in little ringlet curls for the festivities.

“Why did you ignore me?” You were unable to help yourself. Best friends don’t ignore each other, do they?

“Im sorry.” He tugged at a curl, giggling as it sprang right back into its prior form. “You look pretty.” He continued pulling gently at the curls the entire bus ride, while you tried to prevent your face to hot. Your mom says that you blush all the time around Sehun, but doesn’t explain the significance.

Primary and junior high passed by in a breeze. You and Sehun stayed close, always saving seats for one another in class and eating lunch together. Neither of you had many other friends- which you didn’t have a problem with. You had Sehun all to yourself, your best friend.

Maybe you should’ve appreciated it more.

Sehun moved to Seoul the summer before high school. He didn’t tell you, didn’t call or text or anything of that significance. You found out when you looked out your living room window at 5:00 A.M one day, and saw two huge moving trucks barreling down the road.

It hurt at the time. Hurt so much that you thought you would never get back up after his absence knocked you down.

You did though. You moved on, and although it was extremely difficult, within a years time you were okay again.

He never texted you, never replied to your attempts at contacting him. You realize now that his dad must’ve changed his number, but back then you only wanted an explanation.


Looking back, maybe you didn’t actually know Sehun like you assumed you did. Sure, you knew his favorite foods, and what cologne he used. At the time, that seemed like everything.

Seven years later you believe that, when he moves back to Icheon.

He became a mogul in the entertainment business. Building a new management company from the ground up. From all the articles you’ve seen, it was the classic story success story. Girls fawned over him from what you’ve heard, and it shocked you hearing how different he was.

His dad died when he turned sixteen- the news covered the story all across South Korea. “SEOUL DISTRICT COURT JUDGE: DIES FROM HEART ATTACK.”

Somehow you never heard about it.

Your heart ached when you first watched an interview of him explaining his story. If you thought he was handsome in junior high- he was drop dead gorgeous now. He was wearing a crisp black suit, his hair parted down the middle- your favorite style, you told him many times in your last year together.

“I moved from Icheon when I was fourteen with my dad.” He explained, folding his hands together in his lap. He had such a calm demeanor. It was odd seeing him so mature.

“Ah, that must’ve been difficult I presume?” The host asked, and your breath caught in your throat. You recalled all the nights you spent crying after he left. The piece of your heart he took with him and never gave back.

“Yes. I left a dear friend of mine- best friend.” He rubbed his hands together, staring at the floor as if it was more fascinating than the audience before him.

“Oh, do tell.” The host was basking in the anguish that filled Sehun’s voice. As if he knew this would get his show many views.

Sehun looked up, his eyes starting to turn red. You had seen Sehun crying before. As he raised his fingers to brush back his hair, you knew that he was trying hard to stop the tears.

“Im so sorry.” He whispered, and if he hadn’t been looking into the camera you would’ve assume he was speaking to the host; but he wasn’t. It was as if he was here- in your living room. You could almost feel the gravitas of his presence. “I’m sorry I left you so suddenly. I thought that it would be easier at the time.”

You used to dream about this. Sehun finally explaining why he left you alone. Here, seven years later and seeing the grown man on the screen- a completely different person from the one you thought you knew like the back of your hand- you realize that it probably wont make much of a difference now.