Gravity Falls: Honoured death after saving the Universe
Over the Garden Wall: Lived intensely, died young
Steven Universe: recovering from the (Steven)bombing
Star vs the Forces of Evil: In coma after the Great Castle Nuke
Rick and Morty: Planning to break out of hiatus jail
Miraculous Ladybug: Might have killed half the fanbase and is now in hiatus jail
Adventure Time: Somebody please hand me a report I lost track of what’s going on here
Returning titles from ancient times:
Samurai Jack: “In the year -1 000 000 000, Jack might not have been here. In the distant future that is Aku, Jack was here, and he tried to change things.”
Powerpuff Girls: there’s something really different about you but I can’t put my finger on it and it’s really unsettling but whatever
Teen Titans Go: away. Please.
My Little Pony: in hiatus jail due to overdosing a foal with Mary Sueness
Bee and PuppyCat: not quite existing in some interdimensional rift between eternal hiatus and imminent cancellation
Bravest Warriors: showed signs of recovery after a long time in the UPS. We hope for the best.
Episodic comedy middle school students:
Gumball: still the classroom’s clown that occasionally offends someone with darker humour
We Bare Bears: still the adorable nerd with a furry obsession
Clarence: still the kid that gets good grades even though they don’t pay attention to the class because they’re too busy laughing at the classroom’s clown
And then there’s:
Uncle Grandpa: That weird middle aged man in a trenchcoat selling illegal stuff at the shady alley next to the Toon School that manages to stay out of jail for unknown reasons
Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents: used to be cool kids but bought the stuff from the trenchcoat man and now they’re addicted hobos
The Other Kingdom: some weirdo who escaped Live-Actionville, Nickelodeon and is trying to take Star vs.’ place, what are you doing here please go away
did you know, the man who invented the atomic bomb once said that keeping peace through deterrence was like keeping two scorpions in one bottle? you can picture that, right? they know they can’t sting without getting stung. they can’t kill without getting killed. and you’d think that would stop them.