that's basically the cold war no

me in the future
  • my kid: mommy will you sing me a lullaby?
  • me: sure sweetie
  • me: Yekaterina ๐Ÿ‘„ Petrovna ๐Ÿ‘  Zamolodchikova ๐Ÿ“ข but your dad ๐Ÿ‘จ just calls ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ฒ me Katya๐Ÿ˜˜ I'm the bright ๐Ÿ’ก red scare ๐Ÿ‘น with the long ๐Ÿ† blonde hair ๐Ÿ’‡ always keep them ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฑ coming back for more ๐Ÿƒ you're a basic ass hoe ๐Ÿ’ฆ and it's your time โฐโณ to go so bitch ๐Ÿฉ let me show ๐Ÿ‘‰ you ๐Ÿ‘‰ the door ๐Ÿšช cause it's me ๐Ÿ‘† who's getting laid ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ and I'm always getting paid ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ’ฐ the only high class ๐Ÿ‘‘ Russian ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ whore ๐Ÿ˜œ I'm a scorching ๐Ÿ”ฅ hot ๐Ÿ’ฆ mess ๐Ÿ—‘ in a skin ๐Ÿ˜ tight dress ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ‘› that's a rash ๐Ÿ˜ท not a herpes sore ๐Ÿ˜ˆ Lenin ๐Ÿ‘ด in the streets ๐ŸŒด Dostoyevsky ๐Ÿ“š in the sheets ๐ŸŒ›๐Ÿ‘ฃ baby ๐Ÿ‘ถ are you ๐Ÿ™ ready for this cold โ„ war โš”โ˜  Katya ๐Ÿ’‹ Zamo ๐Ÿ’Œ lodchikova ๐Ÿ˜
Lyrics that changed my life
  • Nicki Minaj: You could be the king but watch the queen conquer
  • Beyoncé: Who the fuck do you think I am?
  • Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova: Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but your dad just calls me Katya I'm the bright red scare with the long blonde hair always keep them coming back for more you're a basic ass hoe and it's your time to go so bitch let me show you the door cause it's me who's getting paid and I'm always getting laid the only high class Russian whore I'm a scorching hot mess in a skin tight dress that's a rash not a herpes sore Lenin in the streets Dostoyevsky in the sheets baby are you ready for this cold war Katya Zamolodchikova

friend: hey you zoned out again, watcha thinking about?

me internally: Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but your dad just calls me Katya I’m the bright red scare with the long blonde hair always keep ‘em coming back for more youre a basic ass hoe and it’s your time to go so bitch let me show you the door cause it’s me whose getting laid and I’m always getting paid; the only high class Russian whore
I’m a scorching hot mess in a skin tight dress
thats a rash, not a herpes sore Lenin in the streets, Dostoyevsky in the sheets baby, are you ready for this Cold War? Katya Zamolodchikova

me out loud: oh nothing haha

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • my brain: Yekaterina...Petrovna...Zamo-lod-chi-ko-va...but your dad...just calls me...Katya....I'm the bright red scare with the long blonde hair, always keep 'em coming back for more. You a basic ass hoe and it's your time to go, so bitch let me show you the door. Cause it's me whose getting laid and I'm always getting paid; the only high class Russian whore! I'm a scorching hot mess in a skin tight dress- that's a rash, not a herpes sore. Lenin in the streets, Dostoyevsky in the sheets, baby, are you ready for this Cold War? Katya...Zamo...lod-chi-ko-va๏ปฟ...
  • psychic: lol same she should've won

ok lets just take a moment. im not defending joss whedon or anything like it. we all know everyones buzzin about how black widow was turned into a love interest and the fact that scarlet witch, even though shes the most powerful one, needed a pep talk from hawkeye.

first of all i dont think nat was reduced that much into a love interest, bruce was shown as the weak one, he was the one who needed help and its kinda clear. natasha was there as the strong one to help the weakest. the thing that “women who cant have kids are monsters” came from natasha, from inside her, thats how she feels about herself, shes damaged, she is the one who thinks shes a monster for being raised as a sterilized cold blooded killer. i dont care if shes not like that in the comics, the movies are based on the comics but its not a copy. if whedon wanted to her to be that damaged and broken what can we do? its his vision

about scarlet witch: guys shes not the crazy powerful woman of the comics. shes basically a teenager. she had never been on a war, shes freaked out. not every woman in the world is strong all the time. we cry, we panic. SHE WAS FUCKING TERRIFIED GUYS IT DOESNT MEAN SHES WEAK.

get your shit together people