that's a joke for my dad

Several Ways to Come Out

The joke edition of course, what else would you expect from me?

1. What do you call a bisexual out of the closet? Me!

2. Hey mom you know what my name would be if I were a japanese lawyer? Ace Attorney.

3. Dad what do the main girl from Camp Rock and I have in common? We’re both demi’s.

4. You see me stroking my pair of pants? Thats because im pantsexual.

5. “Why do you have the word ‘girls’ written on your takeout?”
“Oh cause i like to eat them out”

Wet

Summary: These pranks are getting pretty out of hand… Enough said.

Pairing: Warren x Reader

Warnings: It might be intense fluff, it might be light smut… Who knows? Swearing, as always.

A/N: Currently super pissed off at tumblr right now. I had like 3 stories I was going to publish today and they all got deleted, so that was fun. If you guys have any alternatives to tumblr drafts could you message me bc I’m legit so lost… 😱 Sorry that this is super late. You guys should request for sure because this writer’s block is killing me. 😭 😭 

Originally posted by snarling-through-our-smiles


“Shit!” You gasped as you felt the icy water soak through your clothes. In an instant, you felt another balloon explode against you, drenching you once more. “What the fuck?”

You wiped the water from your eyes, shivering against the wind. You had just come out of the mansion with Jubilee, heading to the pond for a nice, relaxing lunch with Jean, Scott, and Kurt. Instead, the moment you stepped outside, you were attacked. 

“Nice!” 

You looked up to find Warren and Peter, perched in a tree with a bucket of water balloons. They hi-fived before Warren swooped down and Peter skidded to a stop at your left side with a cool gust of wind. 

Keep reading

2

Chloe’s a savage
Close enough?
(Bad Cheetos pun from my lame boyfriend <3)

❣reasons i love yoongi❣

ofc theres many but here are some of them bc i really love him and its still vday here and hes officially my valentine so

  • the smile but thats kinda obvious
  • his voice is so calming
  • but when he gets a lil excited/hyper he lowkey starts to scream
  • smol but ready to (literally) kick someone’s butt 24/7
  • rap god yoongi
  • how he has a special relationship with every member!!
  • his english!! is so!! good!! srsly he knows so many random words
  • his random knowledge too!
  • how he teases seokjin for his dad puns
  • but is exactly the same 
  • apart from that he’s the king of comedy and whenever he jokes i talk about it for the next 5 days which means i never shut up
  • inventor of singing
  • how he’s so professional when talking about music/equipment 
  • how in bv he remembered to pack the first aid kit/painkillers
  • and cooked for the members
  • photographer yoongi
  • how he seems to enjoy travelling a lot
  • his love for holly
  • the mixtape
  • king of black turtlenecks
  • and black outfits in general
  • how he works his ass off :) 
  • mama 2k16 
  • cutest selfies in bangtan fight me
  • soft tummy
  • sope 
  • how he sometimes growls when rapping amazing
  • pouty
  • his “say what” every 2 seconds when performing live
  • how he’s so attached to the grey beanie
  • and looks so good wearing any type of hats in general
  • when he said he would stay home and read all the books he could as a teenager
  • marie claire photoshoot
  • and every other photoshoot lets be real here
  • iconic tweets
  • the japanese interview
  • “when can we leave”
  • pink silky pjs aka the look of 2k16
  • cheats in most games possible
  • also dumb excuses
  • “i get blushy after one shot of soju”
  • glasses yoongi
  • how he loves being carried
  • dt gloss
  • how he doesnt care if he has to dress up as a girl anymore
  • how he once said he feels like crying during every show
  • ARMYYYYYYY
  • he’s the softest smiley squish
  • srsly hes so soft 
  • and makes me soso happy
10

*Allura, Coran & the other paladins facepalming in the background*

so you know that one scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 where Po meets his biological dad for the first time? Yeah.

@the-euglassia-watsonia, thank you for egging me on to do this it was so worth it.

anonymous asked:

i'm a transguy but i still really id with being called "the mom friend" ??? i used to call myself the dad friend but my i wasn't out to my ex and we'd always joke about being the mom and dad friends,, , does this mean i'm not trans?😅😅 i feel so dumb

NO

THATS SO SILLY

You’re still trans if you wanna call yourself a mom friend! That’s fine!

i say a lot of characters are my favorite bc it changes every day but then i see that stupid fucking picture of jack as a baby with the hockey stick in his tiny baby hand and i think about how he realized he had feelings for bitty and then fucking wasted no time as he SPRINTED across campus to go kiss him ON ThE MOUTH, and i think about his face when they shoe checked bitty and he made that stupid dad joke like “haha no shirt no shoes no service bittle haha im a comedic genius” and i just. my heart clenches and i remember. thats him. that’s my giant baby boy. i love him. jack zimmermann deserves the world. 

im-the-reckless  asked:

Now thanks to lulunov Im thinking about Kurtis saying "what your hands, kid"

Ahahahahahaha omg speaking of Kurtis, he might be just joking but who can tell with that deep, angry voice! Which sane mind would take the risk, seeing him speaking with that blank, stern expression? He would scare any boyfriend five miles away from his daugther!

No, but seriously, he would be concerned of course - as any father who really cares about his child - but I’m not into the model of the abusive, overcontrolling father. Anna’s already very mature - in some ways - for her age, and she will keep on maturing despite being so childish in other matters. I think he should start already trusting her more… provided she’s now Gifted as he once was.

Originally posted by devils-drop

so my friend and i are talking about stucky as dads and just hEAR ME OUT

Steve and Bucky adopting a little girl thats missing an arm just like Bucky and any time some shit at school makes fun of her for it Bucky shows the kid his metal arm and scares him off

Bucky being the really over protective dad that lets his daughter braid his hair and put flowers in it

Steve being the dad that always makes dad jokes and gives their daughter a thumbs-up after hearing she got into a fight because a couple of kids kept picking on her

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Daddy!Ashton:

- He would be such a spoiling dad rly
- He would make sure that his kids played at least one instrument
- “Ok but don’t tell your mom.”
- Bed time stories
- “And that’s why drums are better.”
- Family cuddles
- He would go to every single event of his kids
- “THATS MY CHILD”
- Every mom at your kids school wants to be you bc Ashton is hella fine
- You and Ashton getting used to calling eachother daddy and mommy bc ur kids do
- “Kids we’re gonna go camping bc nature is fun.”
- Dad jokes
- “Dad can I go out with my friends?”
- “Where? When? With who? For how long? For what?”
- Letting his kids paint his nails and do his makeup
- “Daddy loves you more than anything little beans.”


…Father my children Irwin