that would turn me off anything

thewalrus-said: 

Agreed on the new gyms being not awesome and the PLEASE LET ME TURN OFF RAID NOTIFICATIONS, OH GOD, but you can do raids alone, or at least it’s let me do it. Team Glitch strikes again?

Possibly. Other people said that you have to wait for the timer to tick down, but there was no timer that I saw, and I was standing there for like, five minutes trying to get it to DO ANYTHING and nothing happened. 

IDK, it may be related to how when I joined for a while I didn’t have a team? 

oh-emdee

Oh man, yeah I could see how that would be really terrible in more populated areas. I’ve been liking the raids, but to be honest, we don’t have that many gyms here, and everything is really spread out (which I think also keeps some of the novelty, because we also always get quite a few people at each raid), and the gyms are almost never full, which has been nice. Before it was actually harder for me to get a Pokemon in a gym, or it would have taken way too long to build it up.

Yeah, see there’s like…five gyms between my bus stop and my home, and shitloads of gyms in the nearby park, but Chicago is also an incredibly dense urban population, and I live next to a giant high school and two separate universities. I have yet to see a gym that wasn’t full, of any team. :D

sailorzeo

I haven’t had the opportunity to try yet, but learning you can spin gyms like pokestops is interesting to me.

I mean…it basically means, between the six-pokemon limit and the spinny, that gyms have functionally been replaced by pokestops, at least for me. You can spin them but it’s the same as spinning a pokestop, so there’s no real like, intrigue there. :D 

devsfan55  asked:

Hello!! Could I get a gif set of Mark/Crowley's hands? (Saw a post with Dean's and made me think of Crowley) Love his hands. lol. Thanks!

Okay first off I just wanna say I’m so sorry for not answering this sooner. I have my notes turned off bc reasons and Admin G actually has a life unlike me so I’m sorry for this being late. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Okay #2, idk about Admin G but I lack the skills and patience to makes gifs. Trust me if I could I would. Also, I could try to go find gifs of them but I doubt I’ll find anything. If you want though I could get you stills of them? If you want, it’ll be no problem just let me know if you do!! -Admin M

idk why i just remembered this but all throughout kindergarten and first grade i used to draw a lil snail in the corner of every paper i had to turn in because it was a happy snail so i thought it would make my teachers happy when they were grading papers because i was a pure and simple child but in 2nd grade my teacher would take off 2 points if i drew it on my homework and 5 points if i drew it on a quiz or test so i stopped but like
it was so harmless it was just a lil shitty doodle of a smiling snail it wasn’t distracting me or anything from the task at hand
so i’d like to say to mrs whoeverthefuck that snail was supposed to be a happy thing u bitch

👋 Send Me Emojis 👀👌

☝ - How tall are you?

✔ - Sexual Orientation

🚬 - Do you Smoke?

🍷 - Do you Drink?

♒ - Do you Take Drugs?

😳 - Age you get mistaken for?

💉 - Have Tattoos?

✏️ - Want any tattoos?

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💃 - Can you dance?

💏 - Do you love anyone?

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?

🌴 - A island you would visit?

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🌀 - Favorite type of weather?

🔮 - Do you believe in luck?

📱 - What kinda phone do you have?

📅 - Favorite time of the year?

📚 - Career goal you want?

🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?

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😡 - What pisses you off?

😏 - What turns you on?

😈 - Are you a freak?

💪 - Do you work out?

BSOD in D&D

We’re playing a homebrew 5e campaign which featured a quest inspired by Alice in Wonderland.
While meeting the Queen of Hearts, our monk stuck her foot in her mouth and pissed the queen off, which resulted in our sorcerer (who always seems to have a plan for everything) having to surreptitiously cast one hell of a knockout spell that enabled the monk to escape. He and I faked being knocked out as well so as not to bring her wrath upon us too.

When the queen and her guards awoke, she started questioning the sorcerer about what had happened. Then she turned her attention to me (playing a warforged paladin).

DM (as the queen): You there- metal man. What did you see?

Not wanting to answer in a way that would throw off the sorcerer’s scheme, I had to come up with an adequate answer without giving anything away. Luckily, I just so happened to have a quip for just such an occasion.

Me (IC): System32 damaged. Rebooting…

*entire table erupts into laughter*

Sorcerer: I apologize, Your Majesty. He runs on Windows 98.

You’re His Ex Girlfriend and You See His New Girlfriend Wearing Your T-Shirt: Part 2

Part 1

Masterlist linked in bio


Growing up, people told Y/n that you could die from a broken heart—that the stress on your heart strings could weaken, and all that’s left is the pain in your chest.

Y/n thought her heart would fail her, rupture all that’s left of her and leave her body to decompose. She believed that, if her broken heart wasn’t going to kill her, loneliness and lack of sleep would push her towards her end.

Moving on—something that seemed so simple yet so impossible for Y/n to do.

When the hurt in her chest and the hallucinations from exhaustion started to become too much for her to handle, she was willing to do anything to help herself. She started taking up yoga sessions, started writing music, even started cooking in an attempt to bring herself back from whatever hell she was in.

She even considered moving on; meeting a man at a bar and getting to know more about him rather than his drink order. But something seemed so wrong about that—something was unsettled inside of her at the thought of being with someone who wasn’t Harry.

The image of Jessica in Harry and Y/n’s t-shirt was enough to haunt her nearly every hour of the day. She started going mental, constantly wondering what they were doing together in the moments she was most vulnerable. She wondered about their love life, their future, their interests. She thought about everything.

It wasn’t until Gabby was determined to mend the broken girl raiding her house, finding any possible excuse to give her a sense of life again, that Y/n found the slightest bit of hope.

Y/n was losing it, entirely, and Gabby refused to continue being a bystander.

Gabby had set Y/n up on a blind date only a couple weeks back, practically begging her to seize every opportunity she possibly can to get over Harry. It was all Gabby could do to help her, considering nothing quite helped Y/n’s well-being since the breakup.


“Oh, he’s just so perfect!” Gabby squealed, clapping her hands before gripping tightly around Y/n’s wrists in excitement. “He’s gorgeous! Amazing blue eyes—breathtaking, really! And he’s so sweet, Y/n! I haven’t met a single person who’s disliked him and he’s such an amazing photographer! And his teeth! His teeth are marvelous! Do you know how hard it is nowadays to find a man with nice teeth? I mean—“

By then, Y/n had dozed off, and it wasn’t for any personal reason against Gabby; she’s appreciated every bit of hard work to help her through the heartbreak Y/n’s been dealing with nearly half of a year now. It’s just that she wasn’t ready to move on, not that she didn’t want to.

It had been nearly five months, which may seem like such an abundance of time to rid feelings for somebody, but did time really help moving on from someone she’d planned to spend the rest of her life with? It seemed nearly impossible. She could barely see herself looking at other men in a romantic sense, how could she see herself going on a date with somebody? Especially when she was still in love with somebody else?

She was biting the bullet with letting time heal her, but she felt that was the only way. Nothing more could help her. If anything, she believed dating would make it worse, if she were being honest.

But the look of excitement Gabby had at the mere thought of Y/n being happy again was something Y/n found nearly impossible to resist. Besides, she had definitely been overstaying her welcome at Gabby’s house no matter how much Gabby’s tried to deny it and has put so much stress onto her that maybe, just maybe, doing this one favor for all that she’s done for her.

“So, what do you say?”

Y/n blinked harshly when Gabby’s voice drowned out all the scrambled thoughts in her head, shaking her head slightly to regain her understanding of reality.

“What?”

“Monmouth Coffee Shop at noon tomorrow. Dan really wants to meet you, Y/n! Please!”

Y/n’s eyes widened, snapping her head up to meet Gabby’s hopeful eyes.

“The Monmouth?! Are you crazy?! That’s Harry’s favorite coffee shop, you know that! Dan and Harry probably know each other, that’s how much he goes there!”

Gabby’s eyes narrowed as her lips pursed, gaze directing toward the ceiling in thought.

“Harry? Harry who? I don’t remember who that is, never heard that name in my life.”

Her tone reeked with sarcasm, which made Y/n’s eyes nearly roll to the back of her head. As much as she wished Gabby’s negative remarks about Harry were comedic, there was always something about them that infuriated her. She always supposed it was the instinctual aspect of loving someone so much.

Gabby sighed as she reached her hand up to rub Y/n’s shoulder gently.

“Look,” she began, “you’re my best friend and I hate seeing you like this. You’re not the same Y/n I always knew, and I think you see yourself that way, too. And in all honesty, I don’t give a fuck about Harry anymore. As sadistic and twisted as it sounds, I don’t care about his emotions, or how he feels. He did this to you. He killed a part of you and I feel it’s my obligation to help you through this. So, please, go out with Dan tomorrow. He works at Monmouth, he’ll meet you before his shift starts at 1:30.”

Gabby’s arm slid off of Y/n’s shoulder at the shadow of uncertainty behind her eyes. Even though Gabby understood all the pain and hesitation, she didn’t want to see Y/n suffer another day. She just couldn’t.

“Please,” she whimpered, “Dan has been the only sense of hope I’ve gotten to make you happy again. Just do this one thing, please? And if it doesn’t work, then you can blame me. I’m just trying here.”

Y/n coughed slightly, her inability to say no wearing off of her at Gabby’s desperate pleads. It was an opportunity to turn things back around in her life, and if it didn’t go as planned, she really didn’t have anything more to lose.

She nods her head softly.

“Yeah—yeah, okay. I’ll meet him.”

Maybe this would be good for her.


Dan is lovely, always caring for Y/n and making sure she feels like loyalty whenever she’s around. He puts her first, in everything, and made a rule that the date can’t end until I hear you laugh at least six times.

It’s cute, really, how effortless he is at giving someone so much attention. Y/n likes it—loves it, even, but it still never feels right to her. She sees something with him, but nothing long term, not in the way she sees Harry.

But he’s good for her now, when she’s at her worst and needs someone to be there for her. He’s able to provide her with the company she desperately needs in order to cure the possible fatalities that came with her broken heart.

“Thank you for the coffee, it was great.” Y/n smiles softly, her cheeks blushing slightly as she traces the rim of her coffee cup.

It’s nearly their tenth date, and they still meet at the Monmouth at noon before his shift. It’s become a routine for them, meeting together at noon before Dan drops her off at the parking station. It became something they both looked forward to throughout their week, and soon became more of a tradition between them.

Dan grins, almost instinctively wrapping his arms around Y/n’s shoulders so that her head makes rest on his chest. He sighs, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head before resting his chin where his lips once were.

“Of course. I’ll be getting out at around 6 o‘clock so maybe I can stop by for a few? Maybe watch a movie?”

He knows the answer before she says it—his constant attempts to get closer to her always seeming to fail. There’s always a hesitation, or always an excuse to prevent them from being alone together.

He’s well aware that there are parts of her that need to be fixed, still being completely destructed by her ex-lover. He’s tried tirelessly to get her to open up and to trust him, but there’s a thick barrier still in their way of each other. It disheartens him, to know she refuses to let him in.

She sighs, guilt evident in her breath as she softly pushes away from him.

She does that often, he’s noticed it.

She feels horrible for doing so every time. Everything between them has remained stagnant, nothing being built so that nothing could be knocked down. It’s not that Y/n doesn’t trust him, it’s that Y/n doesn’t trust herself. She’s still in love with someone else, and she can’t hurt Dan—not in that way.

“I think I’m just going to—“

“Yeah, I know.” Dan nods, arms moving to cross at his chest, “I get it. Just like every other time.”

Y/n reaches her shaking fingers to brush her hair behind her ear, guilt flashing in her eyes as she refuses to meet his gaze. She’s familiar with the look he has on his face well enough to know he’s upset again, being constantly shut down by her.

“I’m so sorry, Dan.” She whispers, “But I’m trying. I want to keep trying with you. If you let me.”

He looks unconvinced, as he’s been hearing this for a while now. But something inside of him can’t quit her, no matter how much his intuition tells him she’s a dead end. Maybe he feels sorry for her on a level he’s never felt sorrow for somebody else. No matter how much she hides it, she really does need him. Not in a romantic level, but she does need him to show her that he cares for her and that he’ll always be there. She needs that sense of security, and he’s the only one that can provide it for her.

“Yeah,” he nods, “we can keep trying. It’s okay, I’m here for you.“


Harry had been living in his studio for the past couple of weeks. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but it was much better than sleeping on his and Y/n’s bed—alone.

That’s all he’s felt since their break up—lonely. It’s quite strange, considering Harry had millions of supporters, an entire band throughout his solo career, and producers around him nearly every hour of the day. He used to complain that he never had alone time anymore, that between all the constant traveling and being at the peak of his career, it was hard to find time for himself.

But now, in the midst of everything happening in his life, he wishes to feel that sort of hustle again.

Y/n was the person that kept him grounded through everything. She was the one consistency in his life, which gave him all the more reasons to love her. Whenever he was overwhelmed with the pressure put on him, or feeling homesick during his travels, she was always the one to keep him at bay and give him a sense of clarity.

Home hadn’t become a house, instead, Y/n’s heart. Wherever she was, he felt at home. Even when she was half way across the world, it was her voice that brought him back and reminded him that, no matter how much he missed the walls of familiarity, home was always a phone call away. She gave him that sense of comfort everywhere she went, it was truly amazing.

And when he broke up with Y/n, he didn’t think of how much everything around him would be affected. He thought time would do them best—would help mend the relationship that seemed to be collapsing beneath their feet. Their connections were lost, replaces by uncomfortable silences and unbarring arguments.

He didn’t think of the consequences when he did it. He didn’t think about how lost he’d become, or how he had no place to call home, or how there was no consistency in his life anymore. There were so many aspects of his life that Y/n had given him—so much of them that he didn’t realize until she moved out.

It was the exact reason he started dating Jessica. She was a great distraction, a beautiful woman to take his mind off of everything.

They weren’t much of anything. Nothing about them was exclusive besides what the media saw of them: boyfriend and girlfriend moving in together in London. It was far from the truth, really. He was with her to terminate his dry spell and rid his loneliness, and she was with him because he infatuated her.

He ended it all, though, that same morning Y/n found Jessica wearing their shirt. The entire incident gave him a realization; that nobody could fill his void like Y/n did.

The fear of losing her forever and making her believe he was in love with somebody else was enough to break him out of his selfish ways. She had been waiting for him for months, and when he returned, he wasn’t the same man he was.

Not only did Harry know that Y/n lost all her faith in him—he lost all faith in himself, as well.


“I’m so screwed, Nick. I fucked up everything. Everything.”

Harry was laying with his back flat against the studio couch, hands rubbing down his face as he tried to steady his harsh breathing.

It was just after he had run into Y/n at the grocery store, where she had seen Jessica wearing Harry and Y/n’s t-shirt. Although he was practically mute during the encounter, everything hit him at once after Y/n and Gabby walked out.

He called Nick in a hurry, incoherent and completely disoriented from the tears he’d broken down into. Everything he thought would be mended completely fell down on them—all because of him.

“Jessica was wearing the shirt with the—fuck, you know the shirt, and Y/n saw and she was such a mess, Nick. I didn’t even say anything to her, she was practically begging me to say something and I didn’t say a word.”

Nick sat cross-armed on one of the chairs, directly across from Harry. He wished he could have felt remorse seeing Harry in such distress, however, he never agreed with Harry’s actions and made it clear numerous times. In his eyes, this was karma’s ticking time bomb.

“You tend to be a real jackass sometimes, you know that?”

Harry lifted himself up so that he could sit properly. His body slumped against the back of the couch, head rested in his palm as he coughed uncomfortably at Nick’s choice of words.

“You let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to you and then you just move on, as if she meant nothing, and you think you just fucked it all up now? Over the goddamn t-shirt?”

Harry scowled at him.

“I haven’t moved on, and it’s more than just a t-shirt, you know that. That was ours.” Harry defended, glaring over at his direction.

“So why was Jessica wearing it after you fucked her on the bed you and Y/n shared every night for the past three years?”

Something about Nick’s words gave Harry a foul taste in his mouth. As much as he wished Nick didn’t say it in that way, that’s exactly what Harry did, and knowing he had to live with that for the rest of his life made his stomach flip inside of him.

He really did fuck it up. Nothing he did was excusable, nothing he did was forgivable. He betrayed the one woman he loved so dearly—the one woman he’d always consider his soulmate. He really, really fucked it up.

He gulped as he tried to find words to justify himself. There was really nothing he could say.

“She—she had just put it on while I was sleeping and when—when I noticed she just wouldn’t shut up about breakfast and I couldn’t just be like ‘Hey, Jess, could you take off that shirt? That belonged to me and my ex-girlfriend and I don’t appreciate it?’ How could I do that?”

He sighed, leaning his face into the palm of his hands as he looked back onto his experiences with Jessica. Was it all worth it? Was she really worth all of this?

“She means nothing to me, Nick. I lost the girl I love for somebody who doesn’t mean anything to me.” He whispered, “How do I live knowing that?”


It’s nearly two in the afternoon when Harry finally decides to leave his studio. He’s been working on some songs he found himself writing during his free time, something he found therapeutic throughout the past couple of months.

Recording and writing have become the only distractions that seem to work for Harry. Everything else became temporary. Writing out his emotions and singing the words he wishes he could say has been the only sense of closure he’s had in a while.

“Dan! Long time no see!” Harry smiles when he enters Monmouth, a familiar face being something he finds so relieving.

Dan looks up from his register, reaching over the counter to give Harry a hug as he greets him enthusiastically.

“Haven’t seen you in quite a while. On your lunch break?”

Harry nods as his eyes squint, reaching for the back of his neck as he reads over the menu.

“Yeah, kind of in a hurry today if you don’t mind. Can I just get a medium coffee with almond milk, please? And a slice of apple pie, feeling kind of brisk today.”

Dan works his fingers across the cash register, yelling out his order to the barista before making small talk about the weather. Considering Harry hasn’t been seen in Monmouth nearly as much as he used to, they both found it nice to catch up with each other for the short while they’ve been distanced.

When Dan reaches over to give Harry his spare change, an all too familiar silver ring catches his attention immediately. At first glance, he swears his heart stopped beating.

There’s no way, there’s just no way that could be the ring Harry gave to Y/n. Dan and Y/n have never met before, considering she had only visited here a handful of times during Harry’s lunch break. And even then, she would just stand patiently by the door while Harry waited to retrieve his order.

There’s just no way, but the top of the rose has a particular rust on it that resembles Harry’s perfectly—and no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen it, he’ll never forget what it looks like.

Harry’s hand grips onto Dan’s wrist instead of reaching out to grab the spare change laying upon his palm, flipping over his hand to inspect the silver ring snug almost too perfectly around his finger. He’s aggressive, movements harsh and face tight with anger, but at this point in time, the last thing Harry’s worried about is Dan’s slightly intimidated composure.

“Where did you get this?”

Unlike his demeanor, his voice is soft and breaking between each word. There’s an unrecognizable shift in his eyes when he sees the wear and tear Harry knows he caused before gifting it to Y/n. This is most definitely his, and knowing Y/n was the one who gave it to him makes him nearly throw up all the contents in his stomach.

“Girlfriend gave it to me,” Dan smiles “well, not really my girlfriend yet. But you know how they are. I told her I liked it and she insisted I have it.”

Harry swallows the lump in his throat, making him nearly whimper when he opens his mouth to speak.

He’s never felt so much pain before. The breaking that was once only in his heart spread like wildfire across every bone and ligament in his body. It burns, the sudden realization that Y/n has a boyfriend, that Y/n is no longer going to be there—waiting for him—the way he always expected her to be, that Y/n has taken it upon herself to seek revenge on him so that he can feel everything she felt that one Sunday morning at the grocery store.

And it’s then he realizes that this is nothing compared to everything he’s put her through. In his favor, this is just a stupid ring her gave her for her birthday because he loved the way she twisted it around his finger. It didn’t have much value between them, just something small they shared. He couldn’t imagine the hurt he would have now, standing her, if Dan were wearing their Lover t-shirt.

“Wh—What’s her name?”

His voice is in a whisper now, only the slightest bit of hope draining from his body when he hears Dan speak again.

“Y/n. She’s a good girl, you’d like her.”

Harry almost laughs. You’d like her. He has no idea, he’s in love with her.

It’s as if every part of Harry’s body begins to shut down. Maybe it’s from the shock, or the overbearing pain he feels in his chest, but he suddenly begins to feel lightheaded. His muscles turn numb and all his orientation seems to scramble as if he’s intoxicated.

Dan’s eyes narrow when he sees all the color drain from his face, his eyes widened and soaked with tears. He watches as he nearly falls backward, only to balance himself with his foot when he takes a proper step away from the counter.

“Harry? Harry, you alright?”

Never fucking say my name again is the first proper thought that his brain can register. But his throat is tight and his tongue is numb. He attempts to take a breath of air, but he feels like his lungs are collapsing in his chest, preventing him from doing anything besides stumble uncoordinatedly out of the Monmouth doors.

He’s falling apart—that’s exactly what it feels like. He feels like every limb is falling from his body as he walks towards his car. He doesn’t know exactly how he’s moving, even if he’s stumbling on his own two feet and colliding into stranger’s bodies as he does so, he doesn’t understand how his body finds the strength to keep moving.

Y/n moved on. Y/n’s dating Dan. Y/n gave his ring to him. It’s all over, everything is over.

“No” he mumbles frantically, jealously flowing in his veins, chest heaving from the sobs that are threatening to spill out of him, “no, no no no.”

He starts to wonder where he’s missed it, and exactly how long it’s been since Y/n moved on. She was so broken at the grocery store the other week; what could have possibly altered her feelings that quickly? Did Dan really impact her that much?

But that’s his girl. Y/n is his girl, she’s the one he was so sure he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Even with Jessica, even with everything that’s happened, Y/n is his soulmate, and there isn’t anything in the world that can convince him otherwise.

Nobody is going to take her from him. He refuses to believe she belongs to somebody that isn’t him; there isn’t an atom in his body that doubts their companionship.

Before he thinks twice—before he really gives himself a chance to stop himself—Harry slides his cell phone out of his back pocket once he reaches his car. He slumps against the hood as his fingers work furiously across his screen.

There has to be something, at least some sort of proof that this is really happening to him, that this isn’t in a nightmare he can easily wake himself out of. There had to have been a hint, a warning for him to have. She would have never moved on without saying something to him. They were so strong together, she would have never left without closure.

Nothing about it makes sense.

And then, he sees it.

He falls to his knees, hitting the concrete harshly below him. His body gave out from beneath him, his muscles and bones failing him.

It’s there, right in front of him, mocking him and all the shitty decisions he’s made. It’s there—on Y/n’s private Instagram page—a picture of Dan holding Y/n’s hand on top of a table in Monmouth, Harry’s ring wrapped perfectly around his pointer finger.

Steele rose has never looked so good xx.

I have been the bad guy before,
I kissed a boy so broken
I could taste his heart inbetween his teeth
And took that as an invitation to spit forever down his throat
I held her hand so tight
Our bones shattered
And blamed her for letting go
I traced the scars on his wrist
Just so i could linger there long after i left
I wrote poems about her eyes
And told her i loved her as much as i believed in god
I never believed in god
I let him touch my body and promised it would always be his
And smiled into his bestfriend’s bed
I could never belong to anybody, he should have known that
I told her i’d always be there
But when the phone rang at 2 AM
I turned it off and let her talk to the answering machine instead,
I never meant it
I have scattered my ashes
Around people who claim they love me
Just to prove to them they can’t love someone like me
Just to prove to myself i can’t love anything right

-R.J//LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME//
(via @boypoetic)

NCT as things I have heard my friends say

I’m doing this because my friends bet me this would get more than 100 notes within 5 days because she is certain my friends say the stupidest shit ever she 100% right but thats not something I’ll ever tell her

Taeil: *recording video* “I love my friends so much” *Camera turns off* “Fuck you bitches with a million glitter pens”

Hansol: “Whoever says anything stupid will get sent to the kinky dungeon”

Johnny: “Yes the weather up here is nice. Do you know what would be nicer? A little fucking respect around here”

Taeyong: “I may be young but ain’t stopping me from dancing to EXO as sexy as I like”

Yuta: “God they are so hot, it’s a shame that I’m straight!”

Kun: “Of course I killed him the guy forgot about me, like how can anyone forget this handsome face”

Doyoung: “I may look sweet and angelic but under my skin is a hell fire waiting to burn you all”

Ten: “A different dick a day keeps the churches away”

Jaehyun: “My flirting skills are the only thing I have going for but at least there that”

WinWin: “Pro-tip for life, your cute is your greatest weapon use it to manipulate and demolish your friends and enemies”

Mark: “I worked my ass off for what, a lousy dirty muffin”

Renjun: “So what if I like cartoons? They make me happier than you losers I call friends”

Jeno: “I would kill you if I wasn’t so goddamn attracted to you, maybe we should just divorce” 

Haechan: “Do you have time to talk about our lord, saviour and greatest ass of the century, me you fuck trees”

Jaemin: “A friend of mine once said “I would kill you if I wasn’t so goddamn attracted to you, maybe we should just divorce” we’re still together though and now we have a child”

Chenle: “I shall sacrifice the taller guy to satan for a cute ass puppy anyday”

Jisung: “I got scared of my shadow and jumped out my bedroom window out of habit”

I am increasingly concerned for my friends, some of these work well others don’t.

Originally posted by dovounq

Long-ass SB/ho tips outline and I don’t even care

I’m on a roll today haha.  Been typing these out as I think of them all week, so here is a list of things in order of what I perceive to be least to most talked about:

1. Be able to leave at any time. You never know when you’re going to have to make a run for it or if you feel unsafe and need to bounce.  This includes:

  • Know your exits.  Not all places have the exit the same as the entrance.  Figure out where the exit is either before you walk in or as soon as you do.
  • Keep all your things as close together as possible.  Pretty easy if you’re in a public place, but if you are at a hotel or his house or something, try to either keep everything packed or all your things in one place.  This makes you look neat and organized too, or at least you can claim that if he calls you on it.
  • When you’re done brushing your teeth, pack away your toothbrush again.  This goes for everything.  When you use it, put it back.
  • Keep your dirty clothes folded next to your suitcase, if not in it.
  • Keep your purse on your person or with your things.  I usually put it on the nightstand so it’s easy to remember, and my clothes/rest of my things usually end up next to the bed anyway.  Take your bag to the bathroom, especially if there are things inside that reveal your identity if you don’t want him to see.
  • If you take off your clothes, leave them right-side-out.  If you don’t do it as you take your clothes off, just fix them as soon as they’re off.  Leave all your clothes in one place.  If you’re naked and need to run, this speeds up the process and you don’t look a complete mess when you get outside.
    • For your shirt, grab the bottom hem and pull it over your head.  Once the neck clears your head, take the hem of one sleeve and pull your arm out of it.  Then use that arm to hold both sleeves as you remove your other arm.  This leaves you holding both sleeves by the ends as the shirt hangs down and your shirt stays ready to be put on quickly.
    • For your pants, step on the hem with one foot to slide the other leg out.  Might be a little tough with skinny jeans or leggings, but try to pull from the bottoms and slide out instead of peeling them off your body.
  • Have the number for a local taxi service saved in your phone.  Or Uber, or a friend nearby, or whatever you feel like.  Don’t rely on him to get you home.
  • Pack a pair of flats if you can because running in heels is way too hard.
  • If you do need to leave, put on your underwear, then pants.  Don’t need to wear the bra.  Put on your shirt, grab your things and leave.  Run to the staircase–don’t risk the elevator in case a bunch of people with luggage hold it up long enough for him to find you there.  Go barefoot down the stairs, then put on your shoes after you’ve reached the bottom.  At this point you should be holding your purse and bra, maybe socks, jacket, heels if you packed flats, and jewelry.  As you walk to the door, put your jewelry and bra in your purse if you can.  Put socks in the heels, or hold them if you’re wearing the heels.  Get into the taxi.  Put your bra on around your stomach, then pull it up under your shirt so you’re wearing it like a strapless bra (you can fix this later if you want).  Put on your socks if you have them.  Double check that you grabbed everything.  Get home safe.

2. Have a safe place to go to if needed.  This is anywhere very public and preferably somewhere you cannot be followed.  Know how to get there from wherever you are.

  • If you have a membership at a gym, they usually check membership cards at the door. 
  • If you are military/dependent, go on base. 
  • Go to your place of work and hide in the break room.  If your coworkers ask, say it was a Tinder date gone wrong and this creepy old guy is following you.
  • Worst case scenario, go to the bathroom in a public place.  Enlist the help of other women in there/call the hostess of the restaurant or a nearby store and explain the situation.

3. Put your phone on airplane mode.  Turn WiFi and location off.  I’ve seen it mentioned before where people pop up as Facebook suggestions.  If you spend a lot of time in the same area as someone, Facebook knows.  Even with location off, it can tell your location via WiFi access point and which cell your phone is connected to.  Turning off location and WiFi will help, but you need to disconnect your phone from service to block that avenue too.  I would say turn your phone off entirely, but my phone takes 6 million years to power on, so that could be dangerous in an emergency.  Turning off airplane mode can allow you to reconnect quickly to service.  (This is also useful because then your phone won’t be buzzing and stuff.  No distractions.)

4. Tell a friend where you’re going and what time you expect to be back.  Keep them updated with changes.  Even if they don’t respond, having it in writing somewhere can keep you safe if anything happens.  Message me where you’re going if you don’t have anyone else idgaf.

5. Ask for everything upfront.  Whatever you agreed on (cash, gifts, dinner, whatever), make sure you get it first.  I feel like everyone on Tumblr already knows this, but maybe one person will read this who hadn’t read it elsewhere and it’ll help.

6. Keep these things in your bag.

As always, add stuff I didn’t think of if you have anything!  Stay safe and may the sugar gods bless you all.

Mess o’ Mine

Harry X Reader: Angst, smut

In which Harry’s stolen from you and needs to fix it.

Request? No

Part 2: Mouth o’ Mine // Part 3: Mind o’ Mine


The apartment is dark, lights dimmed so you can set the mood for what you expect to be an emotional performance. Your laptop is plugged into the television and the screen is flickering, splashing colors across your face from a product commercial. Harry is across the world, about to premiere a song from his upcoming album on a popular talk show. Despite how excited you are to hear the music, you’re still nervous for him, as you always are. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll smash whatever he performs, but he always seems to get in his own way.

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His || Jungkook || 0.12

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12

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Glitter Ball

I’ve been seeing some discussion in past few days about how unrealistic it is that Bitty doesn’t hang out with other queer kids at Samwell, which is a valid point, and it reminded me I had a fic languishing in my drafts folder that involved an expanded look at the LGBTQIA group on campus, so I figured maybe the time had come to post it. It’s more about Dex than Bitty, because I started it as a response to the “Dex is homophobic” discourse, so this is from a “Dex has never been straight, he just doesn’t think it’s any of your business” perspective.

(It’s the beginning of a longer fic called “I Abhor You/I Adore You” that’s kind of an exercise in filling in all the gaps between the Nurseydex tweets and fleshing out the non-hockey parts of Samwell, but who knows if I’ll ever finish it.)

~4.5k, pre-slash Nurseydex, mostly Dex POV, guest appearances by Bitty, Holster, and a few OCs from the LGBTQIA group. Location of the IT helpdesk across the hall from the resource center entirely stolen from my own tiny liberal arts school, “the little gay college in the middle of Iowa.”

Read it on AO3 (now with the second chapter as well).


First year, first semester

Dex got a job with the helpdesk almost as soon as he got to campus. This wasn’t exactly normal for an unknown, untested, untried, and undeclared first year student, but he had references from his high school job and there was a constant shortage of people who actually knew how to do anything with hardware. Which, of course, was the thing most of the professors actually needed help with. They weren’t actually receiving a lot of emergency Python coding calls; they needed someone who could “make the goddamn printer talk to the computer” without pissing anyone off by being too condescending.

He enjoyed it; compared to having to do the same thing in a retail environment, this was downright relaxing, and he at least had some confidence the people he was helping weren’t complete idiots. He could even leave behind a Post-It of step-by-step instructions of how to fix the problem themselves next time and have it be followed at least 50% of the time! Not to mention his work-study hours as a student athlete were actually capped and enforced so he wouldn’t work himself to death. So relaxing when compared to high school, when he’d had to juggle IT work, lobster fishing, hockey, and grades good enough to get some kind of scholarship.

Since he’d gotten to campus early to start pre-season practice with the hockey team, he’d been able to establish a work routine before adding in classes, which had been helpful. The CS classes at Samwell were certainly more demanding, but that was why he was here, wasn’t it? All in all, he was pretty satisfied with how things were shaping up. (Now if only his d-partner weren’t such an entitled brat…)

Once the other students got back to campus, it became clear the helpdesk office wasn’t the only thing housed in the weird little building at the edge of campus. He was just ending a shift when a girl stuck her head in the door. “Would it be possible to get some quick help from anybody? It’s just across the hall.”

“I can do it,” Dex said. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

“Thank you!” She led the way into what appeared to be an all-purpose meeting room. The door now had a handmade rainbow sign taped to it, proclaiming it the Stonewall Resource Center. “We’re having our first meeting of the year tonight, and of course the one person who remembers how to work the projector is on study abroad this semester.”

“No problem. You hooking it up to a laptop?”

“Yeah.”

Dex walked over to the AV podium at the front of the room and fished out the giant cluster of cables and dongles. “Hopefully one of these will work, but we have adapters in the office for just about anything. Bring it over.” A minute or so later, he had everything working.

“Thank you so much!”

“Sure. I mean, it’s my job anyway.”

“Do I need to file a ticket or something?”

“Eh, whatever.”

“Um, you’re welcome to stay for the meeting if you want…”

“What’s it for? I mean, I can guess, but your sign wasn’t even up when I came in at the beginning of my shift, so, you know.”

“Yeah, basically it’s just a beginning of the year informational meeting for students about LGBTQIA resources on campus and a way to get those of us who are returning students to get started organizing other events. So maybe not super interesting.”

“No, it sounds like good information to have. I’ll stick around.”

She smiled at him. “Great! I’m Sam.”

“Will. Or Dex. I answer to either.”

“Nice to meet you.”

***

“So do you think you’ll come back?” Sam asked after the meeting was over. Dex had stayed to help her turn off the projector and leave a sticky note with the steps written down. (He was thinking about getting a set custom-printed with “Helping You Help Yourself!” across the bottom, though he suspected his boss would find this too snarky.)

“Probably not. I mean, not to regular meetings or anything—you can totally ask me for help anytime! I’m just kind of… past the place where I need this kind of group? And I’ve got hockey practice and CS classes that are kind of the point of my being here, so they take priority, you know?”

“Sure thing.”

“But you know where to find me! Seriously, I’m always happy to help. It looks like a great group. But I know I can’t commit to anything.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around then, yeah? Oh, hey, if you have any time on Friday, you should come to the softball game. We’re gonna slay.”

Dex grinned and offered his fist for a bump of solidarity. “You’ll have to come to a hockey game once the season starts.”

“Definitely.”

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@infinite-atmosphere LOOK WHAT YOU’VE STARTED NOW I WARNED YOU

Small pec worship drabble heavily inspired by this because wow hello can I nap on those please?




“Still working at this hour?”

“Gabe …” Jack sighed warningly as Gabriel appeared stealthily behind him – he pressed himself up against Jack’s back in a warm, insistent move that was evidently meant to distract entirely. Gabriel’s hips pushed forward to cradle against Jack’s ass, his broad torso flush against his back as he spooned up against him.  

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The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut



Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.

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Kinks (Taehyung/Reader)

Originally posted by buisually-appealing

Prompt: Hello! I was wondering if you could please do a Taehyung/Reader where you’re both having a lazy day and you’re watching TV on the bed. The remote falls but you’re too lazy to get up so you stretch across, and he goes “just get up lazy ass” or something and spanks your butt playfully, but you moan- which leads him to (correctly) believe you have a spanking kink ;)) which leads to some kinky smut afterwards!! Thank you so much <3

Genre: smut

Words: 3.5k+

Author: Admin Meyg

Summary: Wednesday was your favorite day for multiple reasons. 

Tags: Spanking, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Face Sitting/Riding, 69 position, etc.

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We Are Young: Chapter 7

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

——————–

“You sure you’re okay?” 

“Fuck off asking me that. Or I’ll slam your face into the lockers.”

Dorian held his hands up, weaving in and out of the students crowding the hallway. He wanted to push the subject more, to find out how he could help her even in the slightest way. But he knew Manon. She would actually throw him against the lockers if he asked her that question one more time.

Class has just ended, so the hallways were packed with students as they caught up with friends or made their way to their lockers. Manon and Dorian had just got out of French class themselves when he offered to walk her to her locker.

Truthfully, he was worried about her. He didn’t know what it was, but that was just something about Manon that seemed off. There was an underlying emotion that clouded her eyes, sometime Dorian couldn’t place. Plus, she was being… harsher than normal.

He had a feeling that something happened at the party, because something always happened at parties. But he knew Manon wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. The only way he was going to know what had happened was if she told him. And by the looks of it, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

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Heart on the Line (part 2)

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1545
warnings: finger fucking

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You’re Mine (M)

Originally posted by nnochu

Pairing: Yoongi x Reaader

Genre: CEO!Yoongi, smutty smut smut with a hint of angst and fluff

Warnings: Spanking, rough sex(?), dirty talk (a lot of it), slight cum play

Summary: “The Jeon’s are going to be there and I can already see their father gloating about how his son, Jeon-fucking-ladies-man-Jungkook, is the youngest of his kids and become an owner of his own business even though all he does is go and fuck girls behind his father’s back.” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows as he spoke, getting angrier by the second.

Word Count: 2,946 words

A/N: I feel like this is all over the place. I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted anon :((( feedback is always appreciated though!


“Don’t forget we’ve got that banquet with the CEO’s tonight,” you glanced down at the iPad in your hands, looking at the schedule for your boss, boyfriend and CEO, Min Yoongi.

“Six hours of being stuck with selfless assholes does sound like fun, doesn’t it?” He questioned, picking up his coat from the back of his chair, getting ready to head home.

“I’m going to be coming with you too Yoongi, besides, it can’t be that bad.”

“The Jeon’s are going to be there and I can already see their father gloating about how his son, Jeon-fucking-ladies-man-Jungkook, is the youngest of his kids and become an owner of his own business even though all he does is go and fuck girls behind his father’s back.” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows as he spoke, getting angrier by the second.

“Yoongi,” you spoke up, walking towards him and placing your hands around his neck, giving his nose a small kiss, “Calm down babe.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“I know you’re stressed, but it’s going to be fine. You haven’t had any problems with CEO’s like Mr Jeon before and I know that it’ll go smoothly this time. You’ve sweet talked your way through agreements before and I know it’s going to be fine.”

“How do you know that princess?”

“Mm, maybe because you’re Min Yoongi, and my extremely talented and good looking boyfriend.”

“Great answer baby,” Yoongi let out a small laugh before giving you a kiss. “Let’s go home and get ready for the next few hours of torture coming our way.”


You know Yoongi was holding back. It had been ages since the last time you two had…for more of a crude term, fucked because of how busy the company was with the changes it was going through with. He’d had to stay late nights and have early mornings for the past few weeks and he was clearly stressed. You had bought him food of course, and reminded him how to sleep but the company was thinking about merging with the Park’s and it created a whole lot of stress.

“Tell again why you think it’s a good idea to wear that dress to this? You know rich bastards will be looking at you.” Yoongi didn’t understand what was going through your mind at that time.

“Well, for one, I know you like it, a lot,” You glanced up, sending a flirty wink to Yoongi, “And also,because it is formal and suited for this occasion.”

The idea of wearing one of the tightest dressed that fitted you but still made you look formal and presentable and tease Yoongi for the night, was one that made you smile to yourself that night. Throughout the entire drive to the the event, Yoongi’s eyes couldn’t be averted from you, but mostly he kept on staring at your curves.

As you two walked into the elegantly decorated mansion, he kept an arm draped around your waist at all times, clouded eyes looking down into yours at some times. You could tell he was turned on and a little mad due to what you were wearing, but that didn’t keep you from pressing yourself up against him at times.

“Ah, Yoongi! How lovely to see you,” Mr Jeon came up to the both of you with a glass of champagne in his hand, a wide smile overtaking his face but both you and Yoongi knew it was all for show. Everyone who was anyone knew The Min’s and the Jeon’s were enemies, more so because of the Jeon’s always wanting to outdo the Min’s in everything.

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Who is Xiumin?

♡ Kim Minseok

♡ “Baozi”

♡ “Umin”

♡ Mom-friend who has better grades than a scientist

♡ He is really smart 

♡ Lots of knowledge

♡ He was going for his PhD when i can’t even pass my class

♡ He can do anything by working hard

♡ Coffee maniac

♡ The fact that his coffee tastes like heaven is the proof

I’m pretty sure he had coffee dates with chen

♡ Is the cutest

♡ Can kill you with his aegyo

♡ “Wolf aegyo version” by kim baozi

♡ seriously he’s so cute

Originally posted by oh-prankster

♡ He’s also the oldest

♡ *chokes*

♡ A 4-year-old trapped inside a 27-year-old’s body

♡ Went to a shinee concert with suho-also the oldest- and screamed while he was fanboying

♡ Needs to be protected 

♡ At all costs

♡ Wants to see little mermaid

♡ But is more beautiful than little mermaid

♡ He’s magnificent

♡ His eyes are important

♡ Only group member who doesn’t have double eyelid surgery

Originally posted by smol-bf

♡ He is truly handsome

♡ His photo shoots are art

♡ He was in top 15 when they listed most handsome korean idols

They all deserve to be n1

♡ Looks more like gd than gd

♡ jk jk

♡ He has his own unique colour

♡ Unfortunately,isn’t appreciated enough

♡ The “lost maknae”

♡ The “old maknae”

♡ He has the potential and the talent to be the maknae

All of them do tho

♡ But age matters only in korea

♡ He looks like a korean god

♡ Is a korean god indeed

Originally posted by xiu-love-min

♡ He’s smol in the group

♡ The “170cm line”

♡ Chen+xiumin+kyungsoo

♡ When they made fun of kyungsoo’s height he laughed his ass off

♡ Is married to chen after his first love luhan left him

♡ Luhan gets turned on and would buy anything if xiumin calls him “Lu-ge”

♡ Xiuhan was precious however

♡ Xiuchen is adorable

♡ Chen is like”his wife”

But we all know who’s the wife here

♡ Happy married couple

Originally posted by dayafterdae

♡ I seriously love their relationship

♡ They had a car date where Xiumin was driving

It was the biggest proof

♡ They also take part together in mvs most of the time

♡ —–>love me right

♡ Pls protect this couple at all costs

♡ “Kim bros”

♡ Suho+chen+xiumin+kai+lost brother sehun

♡ Is in a sub-unit along with chen and baekhyun

♡ Xiu pretends like he hates the beagle line

♡ but actually is a secret member of the beagle line

Originally posted by fychanxiu

♡ Has a love-hate relationship with baekhyun

♡ Will actually beat his ass

♡ also loves him a lot

their relationship is complicated

♡ The secret couple who fights all the time

♡ but actually love each other

Originally posted by jonginssoo

♡ A wise man once said “ do re mi fa sol la xiu min”

♡ Xiumin can dance really well  but

Originally posted by minseoxual

♡ U know what I mean

Don’t take drugs or hang out too much with baek

♡ He has the best voice ever

♡ calming and soothing

♡ Amazing smile

♡ Makes my heart flutter

♡ He looks good in any hair colour

♡ Dyed his hair blonde,green,pink,black,brunette and many more colours

♡ And was rocking each colour

♡ Was a cute baby

he is still our baby

♡ As well as being cute as fuck

♡ there’s a person called xiudaddy

♡ He is h0t

Everyone is a xiudaddy enthusiast indeed 

♡ His wink can kill anybody

He’s literally on fire

Originally posted by frezzepop

SORRY NOT SORRY

♡ He is either cute giggly aegyo king umin or fucking xiudaddy 

♡ There’s no in between

♡ He has abs of steel

♡ and face of a baby

♡ was criticised about his weight a lot when they debuted

I hate fucking haters

♡ So he lost weight

♡ We all miss our chubby xiumin

♡ Thank god Lay said

♡ “Weight isn’t a matter if you love someone”

♡ Is great with kids’

♡ Went to see his wife’s Chen’s look-a-like Da Eul and had fun with Eul’s sister

♡ Has a collab with AoA’s Jimin called “call me bae”

♡ Needs more collabs

♡ Was actually a quiet member but now he expresses himself more

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

♡ He is the perfect cute daddy husband material who needs more appreciation and recognition P R O T E C T  A N D  L O V E  H I M  P LS

“Platonic” Bed-sharing: A Snowbaz Fic

In which there is much Snowbaz fluff. 

Disclaimer: All characters and locations belong to Rainbow Rowell!


“Snow. No”

“Snow yes!”

Simon Snow is a complete nitwit. Baz thought.

The two boys were at a standoff. Baz always knew that Simon was plagued with nightmares. Some nights the sound of the curly-haired angel of a boy would keep him up until faint streaks of sunlight drifted through their bedroom door. He had never gone off in his sleep though. This was certainly new.

“Please Baz! My spine is too fucking boney to sleep on the ground. Do you want me to be miserable all night?” He was pleading now, his blue eyes wide, accentuating his freckles.

He was standing there in their chamber looking like an innocent child in a too-tall body. He was hugging a spare blankets and a pillow to his chest. His lanky, skinny limbs looked even skinnier in his baggy Watford pajamas. All his scone eating hadn’t done anything to increase his weight. Must be the pressure of seventh year getting to him.

“As a matter of fact, yes I do want that.” Yes, get bruises all over your perfect back you idiot. That’s what you get for being so attractive.

“If you don’t share your bed I’ll make sure you’re miserable all night too!”

It was a measly threat to Baz. He was already miserable enough every night to have the Mage’s Heir tormenting him through his presence every day and night. He rolled his eyes and smoothed out a single wrinkle in his bedsheets.

“Don’t ignore me! It’s just for one night. I won’t even touch you, I promise.”

Baz fluffed up his pillow. He could physically feel Simon’s glares.

“Come on man! S’not my fault Watford doesn’t have any spare beds lying around!” There was an intoxicating electric tingle to the air. Simon was getting too worked up about this. “If I have to sleep on the ground because of you I will go off on your bed and we’ll both be cold and sore from sleeping on the fucking stone floor.”

That was certainly a threat Simon could get away with doing, despite the anathema. Damn him. Baz thought.

“Okay. Fucking fine!” It came out more harshly than Baz intended.

Simon took a step back, the threads of his magic retreating immediately. It was certainly frightening how closely tied Simon’s magic was to his emotions.

“Thanks. I promise. This is just for tonight. I’ll build a spare bed myself if it means I don’t have to sleep with you.”

Baz snorted. Simon. Building something. Now that would be something. He sighed in annoyance as he realized sharing a bed with Simon would make it extremely difficult to sneak of to drink tonight.

“I’m going to change into my nightclothes. Make yourself at home, Snow.” He said sarcasm dripping from his voice like water from a leaky faucet.

Simon nodded. He looked exhausted.

Baz went to change his clothes in the bathroom. He stared at his own grey eyes in the mirror. His pupils were dilated and if he had more blood in him, he would probably would look flushed. He felt a surge of nervousness and anticipation.

Sharing a bed with Simon Snow. Simon fucking Snow. How on bloody earth am I supposed to not kiss the moles on his neck if he is bloody next to me?

This would certainly be a long night.

Emerging from the bathroom, Baz saw Simon fixing up a sheet to work as a divider in the middle of their already small twin bed.

“What the fuck are you doing Snow?” Baz asked incredulously.

“I thought it’d be more comfortable if there was a like… physical barrier between us.”

“Whatever floats your boat you nitwit.”

Baz carefully folded his Watford sweater, placing it in a drawer, and hung up his trousers. Then he stood by his bed, eyeing a reclining Simon.

“I promise I won’t bite or go off on you tonight Baz. And don’t even think about doing anything to me. Anathema, remember.”

Baz rolled his eyes and climbed into bed. He laid on his side, facing away from the boy he wanted to kiss ever since they met. Simon had already turned out the light. It was just the two of them now. Lying side by side. Lit by moonlight.

This would be incredibly romantic if were an entirely different pair of boys. And both gay.  Baz thought.

He heard Simon sigh. He could feel heat radiating of him in waves. He was so hot. Baz didn’t understand why Simon even bothered to use a blanket. He was already a walking furnace. In more ways than one. Baz swallowed, bit his tongue and did his best to repress the urge to turn and kiss the living hell out of Simon.

Moments passed in silence. Simon’s breath faded into a rhythm. But it wasn’t how he sounded when he was sleeping. More like he was relaxed.

Baz was not relaxed. It felt like every atom of his undead existence was on edge. He was going to have to spend at least eight hours lying like this with the boy he loved and wanted most lying next to him. This was all a terrible mistake.

A gentle touch and a whispered “Baz!” made his entire body flinch. The hand immediately retreated and Baz immediately wished it back.

“Blimey Snow! What the fuck do you want?” He turned to look at the boy.

It was a mistake.

Simon looked ethereal. His eyes were soft and tired. His bronze hair was silver and shone under the starlight. His lips. Crowley his lips looked devourable.

Baz swore he felt his vampire heart have a seizure in his chest. He was tingling all over. This was a mistake. He should just go stalk the Watford grounds and sleep under a tree or some shit. Even a cold Autumn night spent outside would be better than this infernal torture.

“Baz. Why are we like this?”

“Like what, idiot?” Baz spat a bit.

The bead of saliva landed on Snow’s pillow. Baz wished it had landed on Simon’s face. Then he wished he hadn’t thought that.

“Why do we hate each other?”

Baz sighed in exasperation. But some force he wasn’t entirely in control of made him turn completely onto his side and face Snow full-on.

“I don’t know! Maybe my parents hate your adopted father because he stole all that was good from our family?” Baz’s words raised in volume. 

He was getting annoyed.

Annoyed that Simon looked so calm. Annoyed that they could kiss right that moment Annoyed they weren’t kissing. Annoyed that it was even a possibility in his mind. He wanted to glare at Simon. But he was so tired. And thirsty.

This was a mistake.

Simon was silent for a moment. He seemed to be studying the wall behind Baz. Then he was studying Baz’s face and time seemed to stop.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot, Baz. None of this stupid rivalry makes any sense!”

“Welcome to the real world.”

“Sure. But right now. I’m scared.” Simon’s voice was getting soft and small.

He was so small and pale and delicate in that moment. Baz felt an insuppressible need to protect him. It made his heart feel like it could burst out of his chest and fly away.

“Scared?” Baz found his voice was getting softer now too.

Why. Why? He needed more control than this. Everything that was expect from him wasn’t what he really wanted. He had to stop his feelings. But he couldn’t. He had made a terrible mistake.

“I’m scared of the Humdrum. Of losing the people I care about. Penny. The Mage. Agatha. You.”

Baz coughed in suprise. Not a sarcastic cough. A genuine “what-the-fuckity-fuck” cough.

“I’m scared of sleeping tonight because I don’t want to wake up and find that I’ve destroyed everything I love.” Simon looked almost like he was going to cry.

“Are you afraid you’ll go off again tonight?” Baz asked.

Simon nodded ashamedly. Baz didn’t really feel concerned that Simon could hurt him. He felt concerned that Simon was sad. They laid there in silence, staring at each other.

Then, then, Simon took the sheet that was separating them, cast it aside, and flung his arms around Baz. Baz was too shocked to react for a moment. He couldn’t exactly fathom how this moment was real. Slowly, he wrapped an arm back around him.

“S-simon?” He managed.

“Sorry.” He muttered into Baz’s shirt. “I think I just needed a hug.”

“You want a hug from your mortal enemy in a bed?”

Baz could feel Simon sigh in response. Then he drew back but not that far back.

“I don’t know.”

“Alright.”

They stared at each other. Baz knew his eyes probably looked as wide as Simon’s did. What did this all mean? What was Simon trying to accomplish through this? Did he know how Baz felt and was trying to manipulate him?

Manipulation or not, whatever Simon was doing was working.

Simon’s hand encircled his and he froze.

Physically and mentally, he froze.

Baz had so many questions. So many demands to make.

Why did Simon care about him?

Why on earth did Simon think hugging the boy who had only made him miserable would accomplish anything?

Why were they holding hands in a bed?

What the fuck was happening?

Why were they not kissing?

They should kiss.

He wanted Simon to kiss him. He wanted to kiss Simon.

“Simon?” He whispered.

“Kiss me.” Simon whispered back.

And he did.