that was not even a choice at all


“She’s sure of it. She won’t change her mind.” Ellery stared listlessly at the floor of his mother’s office and shrugged against the wall at his back.

Beatrice scoffed. “Then swap the pills out or get a needle, whichever you use,” she said breezily. “Accidents happen all the time.”

He couldn’t even summon the energy to be surprised at his mother anymore. “Except it wouldn’t be an accident. It’s reprehensible.”

“What other choice do you have, if you can’t convince her?”

Ellery sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He felt stuck in something, like he’d been struggling through mud for the past few days. “My choice is her,” he answered, as if it was that simple. “Just her.”

“I’m not having a barren marriage in my household, don’t be absurd.”

“It’s not your marriage though, is it?” He pushed himself up off the wall as his mother got to her feet, her mouth opening. “And it doesn’t need to be in your household.” He brushed past her and pulled the door firmly shut behind him.

anonymous asked:

Numbers 14 & 25 with monty x fem!reader ❤

omg yay these go so well together (i didn’t even notice) lmao i hope you enjoy! thank you for requesting! x

#14: “Hey, my dudes.”
#25: “No one has said that since 2005, please do not bring it back.”

You walked straight into where Justin was staying at Bryce’s. All of the guys were there, playing videos games and doing whatever else they please. You walked in grinning, a happy mood filling your body as you caught the eye of your boyfriend.

“Hey, my dudes.” You greeted, sitting down on Monty’s lap.

The boys all groaned in disgust at your choice in greeting, causing you to laugh loudly. "No one has said that since 2005, please do not bring it back.” Monty replied, the guys all laughed in return. You looked down at your boyfriend, who held the most disappointed look on his face, nearly making you laugh again.

You slapped his chest lightly. “Shut up, you’re just jealous that I can make vintage things high fashion again.” You sniffed, turning away to face the tv.

“Oh yeah,” He sarcastically remarked. “I’m really jealous you’re capable of making us all cringe.”

You slapped his chest again. “Shut up.” You whined, pouting.

“You guys are gross.”

You and Monty turned to Alex, a flat look on your face, before the warm hands of Monty ignited your cheeks and your lips met his. The boys all erupted into gagging noises and shrieks. You smiled against Monty. Boys are weird.

A Current State

“I can handle it or we can handle it.”

That decision was a hard one to carry with the weight of everything else that had transpired. Kurel’s reaction to Celestine’s death had been a calm one. Whatever emotion he felt towards her passing was buried beneath the consideration of threats that one of her own had made with demands and an ultimatum if he refused to cooperate, but the thing was he hadn’t cooperated at all. Velerodra had wanted to meet with Phlare of her own volition. That was her choice before he had even a chance to deliver the shadowmancer’s message.

His stoicism to the loss was simply natural. People died. It happened. You moved on. It was just that simple to the Tanari born elf. But maybe there was some resentment, some anger and frustration beneath that facade. Talk was that she would be brought back, had been brought back many times before now, but this time. This death of her’s had caused a significant problem. It brought the attention of Silvermoon and of the Magistrate directly into Sunspire.

People were fleeing in drones as the small relations in which Phlare had mocked swarmed to guard the bay, the streets and the sky above. Despite these forces and the imposing magical dome that dampened the use of magic within, there was still rumor and sightings of known vessels that terrorized the sea to be heading their way. New small relations to be forged to better bolster their defenses and strengthen their commerce. 

 ‘You can never have too many friends on the sea.’

Fleet Ring Exchange closed down early that night. The old goblin couple who ran The White Strider had quickly run out of rooms to rent and drink to serve. A Sloop had been dispatched to Dead Sun Harbor to retrieve a haul of the Taldrassil Whiskey from The Empress, but it would be two days before they returned. 

All that remained was a report to be written and filed. With sheets of paper laid out across a cluttered table, Kurel laid his enchanted quill upon it and instructed it to write.

Date: April 26th. Year 635 of the King’s Calendar

Formal Report of Trade Lord Kur’elnth An’Diel

The series of events began when Miss Velerodra of Crimson Wings approached me. She declared to have in her possession a vial of General Celestine Winters’ blood which was given to her by the General herself and confessed that a recent evening at The Broken Chain, the General served her a drink spiked with that same blood. Miss Velerodra confessed prior to having been told that the General’s blood ‘tastes like bliss’, but was given no further information in regards to what that meant exactly. Upon sampling her drink, she described the after effects as being addictive and feeling herself easily persuadable by the General.

These effects wore off after sometime, but Miss Velerodra found concern in both light of the situation and even for the fact that she, herself was mildly eager to receive more. It was at this time that I began to speculate the strong possibility that General Celestine Winters may have been a San’layn. 

Following my discussions with Velerodra, I sought the advice of Lord Lledwyn Lomeriel of Scions of Antiquity. I inquired of his sister’s abilities, Ilyea Lomeriel, to alchemically study blood and the chance she could decode a sample inorder to understand what it was that made those who ingested so suggestive to the whims of General Winters. His assurance was strong at which time I divulged what I had connection to and my concerns of a San’layn with the ability to distribute this property through her tavern and potentially infect the denizens of Sunspire Port, in order to sway their favor to her for any given reason or purpose. 

During this time Purveyor Blaque was absent from his post. He was unreachable and untraceable, thus the entirety of Sunspire’s safety fell wholly to me. 

I confronted General Winters during a private meeting regarding a number of things I found concerning and potentially threatening to the well being of the Port and its people. A Scry of this meeting has been provided for clarity. It was during this discussion that The General confessed to having met with and secured an alliance with Lord Feloirus Firavel, whom the Captains Council had unanimously agreed was a threat to the future of Sunspire and should therefor have his trade of goods which he intended to supply for his livelihood be disrupted. General Winters attended this meeting and too was in agreement. 

When directly asked if she were San’layn, she quoted “I am not San’layn, but I am not entirely Sin’dorei.” To which she followed up with challenging me by stating that ‘someday I would figure it out’. Impling that someday I would uncover what ‘other than Sin’dorei’ she was.

It was at this time that I instructed Miss Velerodra to hand the vial of blood over to Miss Ilyea Lomeriel for testing. The results were curious, but inconclusive and Miss Lomeriel required more samples inorder to continue her research. The acquisition of this I charged to Miss Velerodra, who felt confident she could accomplish the task. Security measures were put into place, in the event something or she was compromised and too did I begin to establish fail safes in an effort to assure that all blame and attention would fall to me. This, however, was not the case.

I was advised by both Lomeriel’s to withdraw Miss Velerodra from her task citing danger. However, the risks were known and Miss Velerodra felt confident of her abilities and I too felt confident in her to complete this task on behalf of Sunspire Port and myself. Regrettably, she was compromised. How, remains unknown.

Little more than a week ago from the date of this report, General Celestine Winters put a gun to Miss Velerodra’s head and took her hostage while on Erudition property. She threatened to execute the Crimson Wings Director if demands were not made. She was talked out of this hostility and released Miss Velerodra without harm, before being escorted off Erudition Property. At that time, I instructed Rig-Master Riz to take Miss Velerodra and Miss Leona to a fallback for safety. Meanwhile, Miss Ilyea Lomeriel went into hiding by order of Magistrix Demytrya Wintersong and her brother, Lord Lledwyn Lomeriel.

A day later, General Winters’ loyalist known by the moniker as ‘Phantom’ contacted me through the snowflake comm and requested a meeting. A Scry of this encounter has been provided with this report. During that meeting he made veiled threats towards the life of Sunspire Benefactor, Magistrix Demytrya Wintersong and direct threats towards Sunspire Port and its people. He demanded I make Miss Velerodra meet with him, as he had been unable to locate her to do so himself. His extortion was, if I failed to make this happen he would destroy the Port by means of an unknown number of explosives planted around the bay and would instruct Lord Firavel and his forces to invade Sunspire on false claims of terrorism.

General Celestine Winters was reportedly killed days following this encounter at her Sunspire establishment, The Broken Chain. 

Claim is that the tampering of her blood lead an unknown individual into finding her and committing the murder. 

My involvement of the investigation into the slaying remains obtuse. General Celestine Winters was an ally, if even a questionable one at her end. My actions taken from the information brought to me by Miss Velerodra to the middle of having the vial of blood investigated to the decision through reconnaissance to acquire a secondary sample for further investigation, were done as no malice towards General Celestine Winters or her organization. But were instead done so to protect the denizens and the commerce of Sunspire Port. 

Sunspire Port Trade Lord Kur’elnth An’Diel. 

Kurel plucked the quill from the air to cease its scripture and laid it flat beside the many pages of the report. A wax seal of a scarab was boldly pressed beside his name and he sat back into his chair to reflect on the entire thing.

“There is no place in the deser’ for the weak.” He muttered and from outside his cabin on Sunspire hill he could hear the morning song of the gulls as they circled the fishing boats preparing to set out for their daily catching.

@velerodra @shaded-hawke @wolf-queen @roewyn @thebuildingcacophony @sunspireport @lledwynlomeriel

I’m incredibly excited to see that 5000 of you follow my work and adventures. I can’t even begin to thank you guys. As a way to give back, I’ll be giving away an 8x10 print of your choice from my instagram (kylejengman) and tumblr to five winners. All you have to do is like this status to be put in the running. Winners will be picked at random. You don’t have to follow my accounts to enter. I will also be posting a photo that you can like to enter on my instagram. Thanks everyone and happy travels! Good Luck!

anonymous asked:

this is really vague but for a prompt, the gangsey meeting the foxes.

Does anybody remember this?



I have this hc that even though Adam could get into an Ivy League of his choice, my humble son wouldn’t go that route. So, where better to go than Palmetto State University. (For the purpose of these hc’s y’all hush and just go with it

It’s after a game that Adam and his friends get invited to a party by some Vixens. The team’s there, and that’s how Adam meets the Foxes

He and Neil hit it off. Neil doesn’t like people, and interacting with anyone other than his team doesn’t usually end will, but when he meets Adam, there’s this aura about him that piques Neil’s interest. Adam doesn’t talk much but his words mean more bc theyre so succinct and to the point and Neil appreciates that. They become fast friends and the rest is history.

Fast forward to final championships that year and Adam goes to every Foxes game now, but he invites Blue, Gansey, and Henry bc they hadnt been too far away and Ronan didn’t mind coming down to visit

The Foxes win against the Trojans and theyre on top of the world, every last one of them, bc they know for sure that they are a /good/ team that plays fair and well and wins bc they can and not bc they have a point to prove


a win means celebrations and the foxes/vixen clan along with all of PSU dont disappoint, and well, bc Adam and Neil are so close Neil texts Adam and asks where he is when he doensn’t see him near him, and then Adam brings his squad over 

and at this point everyones kind of adopted Adam bc if he were at all athletically inclined, he’d make a great Fox, but that doesnt mean he isnt welcome amongst them, esp when they’d gotten the chance to get to know him better


he introduces the team to his friends and the gangsey is kind of awestruck as to how Adam managed to become so close to /The Foxes/ and well

Henry’s fangirling over p much everyone but he and Allison hit it off p quickly once the initial introductions are over with 

and I know yall like the idea of Gansey and Kevin bonding over being history buffs but pls consider - Gansey being able to keep up with Kevin, drinkwise and Kevin being horribly impressed when Gansey can hold a conversation with the same amount of alcohol in his system as Kevin who is literally about to pass out then and there 

Ronan and Andrew. Just - I…oh boi, ok. 

They hate each other, not in an Andreil way, but like…they both exude this aura of danger and either of the are fiercely protective of their respective families and they dont trust the other

But Adam and Neil get along so well, and they are so similar that once they get past the initial wariness around each other they bond really well over knives and cars and their boyfriends 

iliknnvlkfjk let me live you idiots

also for your consideration Blue and Dan’s relationship? the absolute badassery they both exude and revel in my feminist daughters not about to put up with anyones shit 

also imagine the wonder  on everyones faces when they meet a girl shorter (as short as??) than the twins  

also consider Blue on Matt’s shoulders bc WHY NOT 

hoe-lagraphicjesus  asked:

Do you think Edward every really chilled down about the whole "I've ripped you from a human life" even with Renesme and everything how the books ended? Like I can see if one day they were out and Bella smelled like some food shop or something she used to love like "aw man I miss that, it was good" because obvs vamp her wouldn't care but Edward would get guilty again even tho it was her choice, he just seems to love to wallow in his misery even at times when he should just be happy

Oh, yeah, I’m sure once the newness wears off there are going to be moments like that and Bella’s going to roll her golden eyes to high heaven. 

“All the things you missed out because of meeeeeee.”

“But look at all I gained!”

“Look at all you lossssst! D:” 

Bella probably asks Esme for some advice about this, because I imagine it happened with her and Carlisle too and she’s just like “Honestly I don’t know what to tell you, he bought me a tropical island because I offhandedly once said ‘I miss the sun,’ so, good luck.” 

tbh if something even as mildly outside the norm as Gone Home doesn’t count as a video game, I don’t think I’m interested in whatever your idea of video games are as an artform.  you can argue “oh, it doesn’t have enough game stuff in there”, but are you seriously going to argue that minimalism isn’t an artistic choice?  the way people talk you’d think that Gone Home intended to have like a shitload of action but just accidentally wasn’t a game.  And lets be honest for one fucking second here, we all know why of all the “walking simulators” from that era, Gone Home is the one everyone comes back to being annoyed about.  Let’s not even pretend the “social justice warriors are ruining games by putting gays in them” factor doesn’t come into it.  There were a lot of minimalist item gathering games from that era, the reason Gone Home gets railed against despite being one of the better examples of using that method of storytelling is simply because of it being an interactive reading of a sexually questioning and eventually romantically involved young lesbian’s journey into adulthood.

so i have shitty fucking friends who want to get married at 5.30am in the middle of a mountainous nowhere, which means i have to get up at 4am and hope for the best but also

imagine junepei wedding set at an inhumane hour in the morning and aoi threatening to kill them for it (but also pointing out that they won’t be awake either), but nope busy schedule there’s no other choice so they have to go through with it and aoi’s supposed to give away the bride but he’s feeling like death and his hair isn’t even 100% so carlos has to carry him and akane (who’s also not her best after working the night before) down the aisle. meanwhile junpei’s collapsed on the pulpit. carlos has to prop them all up at regular intervals and make sure they wake up for the vows. no one remembers what happened.


Josephine had a very uneventful time, right up till the inexperienced event organizer ended up neglecting her for an iced caramel latte, thus giving the cat a chance to explore the local area. Usually, when she is bored like this, Lawrence make sure to give her the best tummy rubs, or even her favorite salmon slices, but where is Lawrence? 

It doesn’t take much time for a cat to escape from her assigned caretaker and to taste freedom. Her first choice of the wild to explore is all the rest of the club. And look, what an interesting young woman! And she smells like she just had pizza recently! Perhaps, there is more where that came from.

Not wasting any time, Josephine approaches the young woman and begins begging for food.

Mireille: Oh, hi cat. Where did you even come from? Whoa, whoa! Keep your distance, furball. I don’t want to be covered in cat hair! Hey! I said get away from me!

Josephine does not like being talked to in that tone. Besides, this chick’s jeans are already torn, so she can’t complain. And why would someone not like her? She is so fluffy, cute and adorable! She deserves all the pizza!

anonymous asked:

I hated this Lxa mention the most because it wasn't even about Clarke's emotions or her moving on. They have a room full of capable leaders right there, and they all just fall back to 'this is what Lxa would have wanted!' Bullshit. Clarke, Indra, Abby, Roan, Gaia. They can all make their own decisions and don't have to refer to a dead commander. A dead commander who would never have made the same choice as Clarke in that instance.

The grounders can’t stop fighting. They are STUCK. They have shown all season that they are unable to move on and be peaceful. they want to blame others for war and then they will kill to get revenge. 

This CANNOT continue. It caused the problems. They can’t live like this for 5 years in a bunker. 

The only people who should get to go on are the delinquents of every side. the people looking for a different way. Bellamy Clarke Luna Roan anyone who can STOP fighting for a second. Who can see beyond their tribalism.

anonymous asked:


So Anon originally sent me “ top 5 Ryosuke scenes ;^))” but edited their ask to the above. Thank you, anon, for not only providing me with more gushing space, but making this challenge feasible. I truly struggled having to cut things from my top 10! Top five would have been near impossible. 

I am going to put this under the cut, since I want to take a moment to explain my choices. Please note that I have not watched Final Stage yet, so there may be something else in the last four episodes that I’d later wish to include in this list. 

Top 10 Ryosuke Moments: 

Keep reading

Before I disappear completely into drafts and also since I’m now in a more serious mood, I just want to take the time to thank @fiiresouled / @ephemcriis for holding my hand and helping me through a really rough patch. I didn’t realize how shitty I was making myself by bottling everything up and she was there for me and listened through all my whining and even smacked me a few times to stop me from being a crazy binch. Like Dom, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I am super blessed to have you as a friend. I am totally going to buy you a beer or whatever choice of drink you want when we finally meet up.

“I’m starting from nothing. I lost everything back in Venezuela. I had my own natural soap factory but the crisis made it impossible to get ingredients. Then the government began to take 70% of my earnings. I had to close it down. Things got so bad that I couldn’t even find food for my baby. I had a little money, but there was nowhere to buy food. I’d wait in line all day for one bag of flour. We could go days without eating. When I tried to breastfeed my daughter, I’d almost faint. Leaving the country was my only chance. I’d never said ‘goodbye’ to my daughter before. She was screaming my name when I left. It hurt worse than giving birth. But I didn’t have a choice. I told her that I was going to Colombia. I told her that I was going to make a diamond, and I’d bring it back to her. Now I sell key chains in the street. When I make some money, I send packets of food back home. I’m trying to keep a good spirit. I’m doing OK. I grew up very poor. I came from nothing. So I’ve been here before.”

(Bogotá, Colombia)


My interpreter Juan has kept in touch with Rose, and we put together a small fundraiser if anyone would like to help:

Steve has no shades of grey when it comes to Bucky and I love him for it. Bucky’s in Austria, whats he gonna do, walk there? If that’s what it takes. He’s been brainwashed Steve, he doesn’t know you. He will. Steve he’s wanted by multiple governments, why won’t you hand him over? He’s my friend and it wasn’t his fault. Like, there’s no question for Steve, there’s no part of him that hesitates, no other factors play into it, is it Bucky? Does he need help? Steve will do whatever it takes to give it to him. Can you believe how much he loves Bucky wow.

Cat Town, Japan.

Listen up, y’all. I’m about to tell you guys about the #1 cat lady destination in Japan: Yanaka.

Yanaka is a neighborhood in Taitō Ward, Tokyo. It’s a super traditional part of town filled with winding alleys, shrines and meticulously maintained temples. It’s a lovely place, but today we’re here to focus on the thing that makes Yanaka a magnet for nerds like me: good good kitties.

You see, Yanaka is a neighborhood with a butt-ton of stray cats. This makes sense, since it’s basically cat heaven. The streets and alleys of Yanaka are essentially just a series of hidey holes and ideal sunning spots that happen to have humans running around. Thankfully these humans are quite appreciative of their feline overlords, which is why part of Yanaka has essentially just become cat themed. It’s honestly like the neighborhood has just agreed that this is their thing now.

The first cat-themed establishment we visited in Yanaka was Nekoemon, a café with a scant 13 seats that’s covered in cat decor. The special thing about this place is that they offer a set (for roughly $15USD) that includes a cat-shaped cookie, a coffee drink of your choice and a little unfinished maneki neko figurine. Why the figurine? ‘Cause you’re about to customize yourself a neko, my friend.

The owner asked customers to choose between figurines to attract either luck or money. We picked luck and got our maneki neko along with a full assortment of markers. The owner even set out a few already painted figurines to provide inspiration.

Aside from the novel figurine offer, the café also had genuinely delicious lunch sets. They weren’t cat themed (though they had plenty of dessert options that were), but it was healthy and extremely tasty. I honestly recommend Nekoemon on all fronts. 

Here’s my finished maneki neko. Followers of the blog may recognize him.

Nekoemon is great, but it isn’t even at the center of the cat madness. No, for that we’re headed to the shopping area: Yanaka Ginza.

Even if you don’t care about cats (in which case I’ve got to ask… why did you read this far?) this street is lovely. There are shops for handcrafted items, souveniers, sweets, savory foods and a lot more.

If you aren’t all sugared up from Nekoemon, you can always stop by Yanaka Shippoya, a shop that sells cat tail donuts. The donuts are named as cats would be rather than for their flavors, and they’re honestly very nice. We had a sesame camembert one that was lovely and not too sweet.

Donuts not your bag? You can always satisfy your sweet tooth with some maneki neko shaped taiyaki from Maneki-ya. Fluffy outside, rich and creamy inside. We got the matcha custard and red bean flavor and it did not disappoint.

Okay, so you’ve had enough sugar to last you a lifetime. Know what has no calories? Cat accessories. Yanaka Ginza has a bunch of shops that specialize in just… cat stuff. Cat jewelry? Check. Cat kitchenware? Check. Cat bento? Check. Cat bags? Dear heavenly lord, check. There’s even a store that specializes in making custom cat stamps. Seriously.

That’s just one tiny corner of just one shop. We visited 3, but saw more. Most of the shops had signs asking visitors to refrain from taking photos, so we kept the camera packed away. Honestly, I get it. These are shops best explored in person. It’s fun to see how the owner of each shop has a unique aesthetic and stocks totally different items (though there is certainly some overlap). You can tell these stores are curated by cat lovers.

Oh, and of course we can’t forget the feline residents themselves. When we first hit the area we saw zero cats. None. I was honestly really disappointed, but it turns out they were all hiding from the rain that started shortly after. Those kitty instincts served them well and kept them dry, and once the rain passed we suddenly saw little cat faces poking out all over.

This sweet girl roamed the cemetery and was the first kitty we met.

Shortly after we met a pair of housecats that chirped at us quite enthusiastically.

This orange boy said goodbye to us just before we left the area. 

In conclusion: if you love fluffbutts and toe beans and are near Tokyo, get thee to Yanaka. It’s a fantastic weekend day trip that isn’t crowded to the brim with tourists, the whole neighborhood has a relaxed and peaceful vibe, and you can come home decked out in cat stuff and filled with sugar. What more could you even want? 

anonymous asked:

why don't you like kathleen kennedy? shes the only female and she seems nice

it’s april 2017 and there are still people who dont know kk is a white demon

  • kk is an icon of white feminism.
  • when she doesn’t get involved directly, female characters’ looks get incredibly diverse (animated series or novels etc. although, we can’t say they treat women of color well.)
  • new female actresses who play lead roles, d ridley, f jones, and e clarke are all white brunette (just like her). this is my personal opinion but for me, f jones was the weakest part in rogue one because of her emontionless and soulless performance, but kk was the one who insisted on casting her and she’s very proud of it. we haven’t seen clarke’s performance in the upcoming han solo film yet but she’s already very famous for horrible eyebrow acting (even her fans admit it). tessa thompson and zoe kravitz, who also auditioned for clarke’s role, is obviously better than her.
  • (also, i think the rogue one novel was a bit better but the movie was… it focuses on the white woman, who didn’t care about the rebellion but only herself then becomes a hero. it’s not feminism when men of color are used to spotlight a white woman, especially when one of them has sacrificed everything for the rebellion from when he was a very young kid. when i heard jyn’s character was originally more like cassian i couldn’t stop groaning because THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER.)
  • ‘for some reason’ she keeps thinking white brunette women are the most ideal people to get the roles. even if she’s doing it unconsciously, it doesn’t change the fact that’s racism. she’s a racist.
  • and when you are a racist you can’t be a feminist because feminism means you support all the women.
  • she seems very passionate when she talks about rey and jyn but when it’s about other actors who are men of color she suddenly becomes silent?? and she talks about this “girl power” a lot but when it’s about races, ethnicities and diversity she doesn’t say anything? it’s always the directors who sat next to her who speak about it, or actors of color themselves. her “girl power” only involves white women and yet she said star wars represented the world. 
  • she was a producer of complete disaster : avatar the last airbender movie, where almost everyone got whitewashed, which means she learned nothing from her past.
  • @kyber-sphere replied:  Actually, she isn’t even a feminist. Every time someone asks questions about “girl power” in panels she gets obviously irritated. One time, she was even dismissive towards the person who asked it too.

mamma bakkoush and even though.

  • every time she sees him, she can’t help commenting on how tall he’s getting. you’ve grown again, even, you’re head’s going to touch the ceiling soon!
  • she doesn’t have favourites - really, she doesn’t; she loves all her son’s friends - but she always gives even an extra spoonful of food, winking at him as she does it, and even just smiles fondly at her and tucks in
  • sometimes, even will detach himself from elias and the boys and go to the kitchen, to help mamma bakkoush with the cooking. they would talk and talk and talk, about nothing and everything, and she teaches him all these little tricks, like how adding a splash of sour cream makes your eggs taste better
  • occasionally, she’ll find even awake at ridiculous times at night. 3am, 4am. she’ll be downstairs getting a drink, and she finds him, sat at the table or in the living room, restless, wide awake. “can’t sleep?” she’ll ask quietly, and even will look at her and shake his head. and so she makes them both a hot chocolate, and settles on the sofa with him. she’ll watch a film with him and listen as even tells her about the camera angles and directional choices and, ok, she’s really, really tired, but she takes comfort in knowing even isn’t awake alone
  • another evening, she finds him downstairs reading one of their qur’ans. when he sees her, he shuts it quickly and apologises, standing up awkwardly, and she just sits next to him and asks what he was doing, voice kind and quiet and gentle. “i was just interested, that’s all, i’m sorry,” he says. but mamma bakkoush tells him there’s nothing to apologise for, nothing at all. and she proceeds to tell him to read it if he wants to, and to let her know if he has any questions, or wants to talk about it with someone. and the little sparkle he gets in his eyes when she says it, and the smile that won’t really go away, makes her so so happy. 
  • but soon, everyone can’t help noticing that even isn’t…isn’t well. mamma bakkoush notices this. even’s mother notices this; has phoned about it in tears. he won’t get help. can’t see anything different about his behaviour. and mamma bakkoush tries to talk to elias about it, but he doesn’t want to believe it. says it’s just even, mamma, this is what he’s like
  • there’s a night though, where even shows up at their house unexpectedly and asks for elias. but elias is out, so he ends up talking to mamma bakkoush. and he tells her he just needed to get away. he doesn’t say it, but she knows his parents have been pushing him to see doctors recently. she knows he’s been refusing, that he’s found being at home….it’s a lot for him. she knows it’s tiring and terrifying and she can just see the exhaustion radiating off him. 
    • she rings even’s parents to let them know he’s safe and with her, and then she makes some hot chocolate and settles in the living room with him. even is quiet and subdued and just…not there, really. at all. but then even asks her if she can read something - anything - from the qur’an to him. his voice is quiet and husky and so, so soft, but almost desperate, too. desperate and somewhere between hopeless and hopeful
    • mamma bakkoush smiles and nods, reading a passage that she hopes will calm him. and sure enough, she’s barely been reading for five minutes before even stops fighting sleep and lets it wash over him, snoring softly, and she smiles and takes the hot chocolate away, popping a blanket over him to keep him warm
    • she’s about to go upstairs when she hears his voice again. he’s barely conscious - still asleep, really, but he says, “mrs. bakkoush?”
    • and she turns to him and yes, his eyes are closed, he really is just sleep talking, but she says, “yes, even?’ anyway
    • and then he opens his eyes. tired, heavy, teary. and he says, voice barely above a whisper and so, so vulnerable;  “can you pray for me?”
    • mamma bakkoush simply smiles, walking over to him and crouching so their eyes meet. she places a hand over his, pushing his hair away for his eyes and smiling quietly at him before saying, “my darling, i pray for you every day”
    • even falls asleep again after that, and it’s the first time in a while, mamma bakkoush thinks, that he’s actually slept through the night
  • then, one day, even stops coming over. the boys no longer talk to him. and she knows he isn’t her son, and that teenagers are teenagers and friendships can come and go, but she can’t help this ache in her chest. she just misses him. and she tries to encourage elias to patch things up between them, but it doesn’t work. eventually, they don’t talk about him much anymore, but it doesn’t stop her thinking about him, praying for him, hoping he’s ok
  • and oh, when even comes back. he looks terrified, like he’s anticipating the worst, all wide eyed and chewed lips, and she knows even, knows he will have worried about not being wanted here, worried that she’d hate him for what happened between him and elias. she knows all this, which is why, when she sees him, she smiles wide, arms open, and says, “come here.” and she pulls him into a hug, squeezing him tightly, then she pulls away and cups his cheeks, making their eyes meet as she says, “i’m so happy to have you back, even.” and she says it with such force, such sincerity, such meaning, that even really can’t do anything but believe her.
Worst pain in the world is when you miss someone so bad. But you can't tell them coz they have moved on with their life and no longer care or think about you
Bygones of the Sun | 01 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 10.4k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

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on draco malfoy's patronus being a thestral

I AM HERE TO ANSWER YOUR CALLS thestral may seem like a badass / very strange choice of a patronus for draco but I am here to explain WHY I think it should be draco’s patronus!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts / have people elaborate on my thoughts so feel free to!

First off, I feel like a lot of people brush off the idea of him having a thestral patronus because heck, why should draco malfoy of all people have a mythical creature? But that’s one of the reasons why i love it. We all know that draco would absolutely LOVE having a mythical patronus ( you know, being special ) but I stand strongly behind the idea that the ONE mythical patronus he would have never wanted is a thestral.

A patronus is suppose to be a representation of yourself, and why the hell would he like it if he had patronus that reminds him of the war? of him being a death eater? of what he had to do and what it ended up causing? it’s an irony i love to indulge in & think about. Rather than being stuck up and proud i personally think draco would have wished for anything else. I’m pretty sure draco would be the type who would pull a disgusted face if he saw a thestral rather than be happy by it. He wouldn’t want to show this patronus off. Like, can you imagine? Pansy pestering him to show her, “wow i bet it’s a fucking ferret, isn’t it”, and when she actually sees it everything goes to shit because of fucking course, draco malfoy out of all people would have a thestral patronus, that even the embodiement of his happiest memory and his soul would link back to the horrors of the war and what he’s done.

Thestrals as you all know are considered to be dangerous, omens of misfortune and only visible to those who have seen death. They are quite literally representative of death. It spells out /evil/ and /bad/ no matter how you look at how the world portrays them.

This is where I’m grateful for Luna Lovegood. We’ve all seen a different side to the thestrals in the films, with Luna stating that “they’re quite gentle, really, but people tend to avoid them because they’re a bit…different.” Thestrals externally look ghostly, grim with them being dark & skeletal all the way through ( this could be another reason why draco = thestral but i’m not making that connection LOL ) if we place in on a canon timeline, the only place where draco would /really/ be trying to conjure a patronus would be after the war, and keeping that in mind it makes a lot of sense. It’s not a big stretch to say that post-war draco became an image of the war, with him being a death eater. His past haunts him, with people only seeing into his image of a death eater without acknowledging him trying his best to redeem himself.

The whole idea of a thestral being a creature that is representive of death & misfortune but also having the ability to be a person’s patronus, basically the opposite of what a thestral is known for, is SUCH a good way of describing draco. The image of post-war draco malfoy is like the image of a thestral in a flowerfield, they stand out too much for their setting of peace despite them not doing anything but being themselves. People fear/hate thestrals and they can’t help it, just as people can’t help but slap “death eater” on draco.

BUT! despite their external appearances thestrals are gentle, extremely loyal…and cutting away at the war and everything else we know draco is loyal. He is so loyal to his family, and even if its /bad/ he wouldn’t hesitate to defend them even if it’s by taunting / mocking the person. He loves them, and this goes both ways - maybe it’s him being prideful of his blood heritage because of how he was raised, or maybe he truly really loves his family ( which i definitely think he goddamn does ). Thestrals can be representative of both, they are attracted to the smell of blood but will also become aggressive if they view someone as a threat to themselves, their friends or even their owner.

It makes sense that draco’s patronus would be a gentle, misunderstood being who sometimes does the wrong thing out of love, or fear, but for a reason that isn’t purely “ because i wanted to”. I just really like the idea of a thestral both symbolising draco’s deeper, hidden parts that he’s too scared to show to the world while also simultaneously being able to represent his life and what he experiences.

I also do think it’ll be a nice way to make draco get over the horrors of war and let go of his past and just live. Draco coming to terms with him having a thestral patronus would practically be him coming to terms with who he is and the mistakes he’s made.

And just to add onto everything above : draco was owner of the elder wand at a point ( thestral hair core ), and thinking about when he was the owner and what was happening at the time, i think everything works out nicely.

All in all i just think thestral is a really clever choice for draco, and clever just so happens to work perfectly for him.